The test

As a result of the Fox feeling so unwell on Saturday, 2 coronavirus testing kits, one each, arrived yesterday. What a palaver!

 

The e-mail that we’d got from the NHS advised us to first arrange the collection of the samples. We clicked onto the hyperlink to arrange that. With horror the first thing we saw was that the collection would be today & we had to provide samples taken that morning at least an hour before 8am. What a ridiculous time! That meant being up and with it to take the sample by 7am. Since they reckon you ought to allow an hour to take the sample that meant being up at 6am. What a stupid hour to expect people, young & elderly, to get up by!

 

We then went on to register on-line details of the actual test kits sent & to whom. The first thing we discovered was that there was a fast mail collection if we took the kits to particular collection points but by then we’d already arranged collection so it was too late to see if there was somewhere locally we could have taken the kits.

 

To actually register the instructions weren’t clear. It asked for numbers from various parts of the parcel without directing you to the place where they could be found. Finally we ended up having to do a Blue Peter act to make up the box the kit was to be put in for return.

 

We spent a lot of the afternoon trying to locate the actual place we were to put the swab. It said on the tonsils, avoiding contact with all other parts of the mouth, which didn’t help me as they were removed when I was a very young girl, over 60 years ago. At least I worked out some sort of an idea of where to go & could see over my tongue to the back of my throat. The Fox couldn’t see beyond his tongue.

 

So this morning came. We were both up early in the morning. We carefully blew our noses, washed our hands, extracted the swab. First the mouth. In the semi-dark we ended up barely seeing anything. The lights went on. The Fox ended up trying to use a torch to light up the far end of his mouth, a mirror to see in & something to press his tongue down so he could see where to aim for. I managed slightly better. Neither of us could swear we managed to not have come in contact with another part of our mouth, such as our tongue or teeth, which would invalidate the test. Next the nostrils. Up the swab went as far as possible, twirled round five times, then the next nostril. My nose can still feel the swab up there over 3 hours later.

 

Well it’s done. The courier arrived around 9.15 so I could have got up at a more civilised hour & got it done an hour before collection.

 

The real frustration is the Fox, now he’s had a couple of days of not doing anything except relaxing, is now feeling perfectly well. His appetite is shot but that seems to happen whenever he's stressed out & not something we worry about except to think we ought to buy some food supplements such as Complan to boost his food intake.

Neither of us think either of us has the virus. We end up feeling that the doctor at 111 heard the word “feverish” & didn’t listen to any other symptom, even though we did tell her he'd used a thermometer & it read his temperature as being within normal parameters. The thing that had most worried the Fox was the uncontrollable shaking in both his hands, for which he had no advice but which have now settled down on their own. All this palaver was totally unnecessary.

However, in the off chance we have got it, we are staying at home until we have the negative result. We wouldn’t want to be responsible for spreading it to others & maybe causing struggling businesses to have to close down again for deep cleaning.

 

The price of all this is that I have had my treatment for cancer delayed. Hopefully I will get another appointment at Wythenshawe hospital next week & the cancer won’t have grown too much more.

 

There is also an environmental cost as there seem to be an awful lot of single use plastic involved in the process.

 

Needless to say we will not be dialling 111 again unless we are convinced we have the virus or we are clearly suffering some other problem, with no overlapping symptoms that they can insist we take more tests.