Wednesday 27 November 2013

Full of anticipation



I’m sitting here, waiting for the laptop to boot up. I’m half-contemplating the joys of the casserole the Fox has cooked through the night – beef in stout. It’s a while since he last used Big Ears, our slow cooker. This is a real sign that winter is here. I’ve just peeled a few spuds & sprouts to accompany the beef.

The phone rings. It’s the landscape gardener. The Fox was going to e-mail him to let him know our conclusions. Has he done so & this is the response? No, he was obviously too busy getting the dinner prepared. But this landscaper, unlike the other, is eager to hear if we’ve come to any conclusions.

Anyhow the landscaper thought he’d ring & see how we were getting on. I told him we had done a lot of thinking. We had come to certain conclusions, certain changes we would need doing. He’ll be round this afternoon so we can discuss things with the present plans in front of us.

We want 3 main changes. The first is the patio area. On the new design the eating area will be further in the garden than at present, under a pergola. However, we think that we would prefer the eating area to be nearer the house, where it is more private from neighbours & where I will be able to reach for a longer time without having to get the wheelchair out to get there.

The second change we want is for the far end of the garden to be a less formal design. In the present design there is essentially a circular design centred on an artwork of some sort. We can’t help thinking we would prefer an essentially woodland/shrubbery look with meandering paths through. This area we were thinking would be essentially for our wildlife & be allowed to be fairly wild in feel.

My third issue is the area around the greenhouse which hasn’t been included in the design at all. The present trees screening us from our neighbours are all looking sickly – they’ve been flooded too many times. They can’t be easily pruned with the result they are pressing hard on the greenhouse. I half-expect the glass to start breaking any time. The need for a screen is essential as our bedroom windows look out over this area & are very close to the boundary, very easy for the neighbours to look in. To my mind it would be a pity to discover in a few years time we have to go through all the trauma of getting things sorted out then when we could get it done now, while all the equipment etc will be here anyway.

There may well be good reasons for the design as it is at present but that is the point of the discussion today. We want to be confident the design we’ve agreed will suit us for many years to come & bring us great pleasure all that time. I’m really looking forward to finding out what transpires.

Tuesday 26 November 2013

Out of touch



We’re coming to the conclusion we’re increasingly becoming out of touch with modern society & culture.

Part of what prompted this thought is that we recently seemed to have watched a lot of TV quiz shows from “University Challenge” to “Pointless” to “Tipping Point” to “The Chase”. We usually do quite well on more academic subjects, on topics like history. However you can forget us when it comes to pop music & sport. Increasingly we are aware that we cannot names actors in more recent films, writers of more recent books. We seem to be in a bit of a time warp.

It has to be admitted that it is largely the result of becoming disabled over twenty years ago. As a result I left the work force, and not much later, the Fox too left official working to become my full-time carer - mind you I think that must sometimes be harder, more demanding, work than any paid job he ever had but that’s a different point. As a result our lives have tended to revolve around each other. I haven’t the energy to maintain much of a social life so we rarely go out in the evening. In the afternoon we often pop to a pub but then we either end up on our own or talking to friends who inevitably tend to be elderly as they are the only people around at that time of day. Our conversations tend to go about our lives, our personal history, our medical problems. Our only contact with younger people tends to be with the bar staff who are usually too busy to spend much time sharing their lives & concerns with us old fogies.

We have no children. Younger members of our extended family live some distance away so we have rarely had chance to see them, let alone get to know them. We live in a quiet street with no children & most people are of retirement age or not far from it.

Even when it comes to things such as films & TV programmes I so often go to bed early I rarely have time to watch a two hour film, or I need the faster pacing of a one hour programme just to keep me awake. By the time we’ve had dinner in the evening it’s usually 7pm. Then I usually like to watch the news on the television – though quite why I sometimes wonder. I’m often in bed by 9pm, so if we want to spend a little time just listening to some music & chuntering with each other that doesn’t leave much time for much else. I object to watching the television throughout the day. I feel when it is light I should be doing something more productive.

On the whole we are quite happy in our little world. However, there are times we do feel rather lost in time. The music we tend to listen to dates from the pre-pop era. Even when it comes to show music it tends to date from last century. The books we read are often historical – the book I got out of the library yesterday is set in 1565! We do not have the latest technology. Our mobile phones do not have apps or internet connection or cameras.

I suppose this disconnect with today’s society is the inevitable result of being childless, not working, not even being able to fully participate socially in society. When you are still working you inevitably have contact with a cross section of society, a mixture of ages & interests. That doesn’t happen when you stop work.

The only times things really change is when we go on holiday. As all the chores of life, the shopping, cooking, bed-making, washing etc are done for you or abandoned it means I have a bit more energy for being up in the evening & meeting others. We have the time, as do our fellow holidaymakers, to sit & chat. But it has to be admitted often we do holiday in hotels where only people of our age group stay, partly because those are often the only hotels with wheelchair access, partly because we do find screaming unruly children hard to cope with these days.

Maybe it’s just that I’m feeling my age this year. The more wintry weather has brought out my aches & pains. I’m feeling ancient, considerably older than my years. Maybe it’s just that I’m aware I’ll be 60 next year & I’m trying to decide on something to do to mark the event. I had hoped to visit the land of my birth, Brunei, to fulfil a lifelong urge, but that seems impractical these days with out health being so questionable. I’m going to have to think of something else.

Monday 25 November 2013

The Bizarre Bookshop



My latest jigsaw has been causing me many smiles. It is entitled “The Bizarre Bookshop”.

The first thing that struck me when I was choosing the jigsaw at our local library was the artistic style was similar to one entitled “The Mariner’s Chest”.  With that one I had enjoyed the imagination which came up with the “Swiss Navy Knife” and “Macho Mariner Biscuits with Extra Weevils”. I was intrigued by “The Merry Mermaid’s Cookbook”.

I gather from the information sheet enclosed in the jigsaw the artist is Colin Thompson, who started as a children’s book writer & illustrator. I gather now some of those books are being turned into films & TV series. I should think they would be great fun.

Anyhow this particular jigsaw, not surprisingly with that title, involves a series of bookshelves laden with books & ornaments. The books are sorted according sections as in a real bookshop.

The fun comes in the details. It is as you read the titles of the books. It’s a bit like the round in the radio programme, “I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue”, in which books, films etc are slightly adjusted in their spelling to comic effect.
  
So it is that in the DIY section, I was bemused to find such classics as “The Merry Wires of Windsor”, “The Valley of the Dowels”, “Canterbury Nails”, “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Plumber”, “The Merchant of Varnish” & “The Mayor of Plasterbridge”.

Some real book titles have been adapted in many ways. So we have “Lady Chatterly’s Plover”, “Lady Chatterly’s Pullover”, “Lady Chatterly’s Lager”, “Lady Chatterly’s Alder”, “Lady Chatterly’s Ogre”, Lady Chatterly’s Rover” & “Lady Chatterly’s Diaper”. Similarly there is “The Spy who came in with a Cold”, “The Magpie who came in from the Cold”, “The Pie that came in from the Cold” & “The Spy who came in from the Cold and got a Warm Cardigan”. I do like the idea of that last one.

Shakespeare was clearly a great source of inspiration with “The Taming of the Stew”, “The Merry Chives of Windsor”, “Romeo and Junket” & “The Merchant of Venison” in the cookery section alone.

There are a few unchanged titles though they are found in strange sections of the bookshop. So, for example, “Whisky Galore” is in the drinks section, “The Grapes of Wrath” & “Great Expectations” in the fruit section.

Sometimes it is the publisher whose name is changed. So “The Gloves of Navarone” was published by “Trouser Press”.

I’ve enjoyed the jigsaw. I think I recognised all the original titles, though I’ve not necessarily read them all. 

I wonder what I will discover at the library this afternoon, what new adventure.

Thursday 21 November 2013

The plans have arrived



Midmorning the phone goes. It’s the new garden landscaper. He’s just costed the design & wondered if he could come round to discuss the plans.

We eagerly wait until he arrives early afternoon. The plans are a lot more exciting than any we’ve seen so far. They’re not what we envisaged & involve a certain re-think in our ideas. We’re trying to decide whether these alternatives are really an improvement on our ideas & we’re still stuck into the idea of how the garden is now, or is it that our ideas have a positive advantage from our point of view. If it stays dry today, we’re anticipating an afternoon spent in the garden trying to gauge just where what would be & whether the proposals would appeal to us.

After the landscaper left, we hastily went off to buy our chicken for tomorrow & stopped at the golf club on the way back. Both there, and in the evening at home, no matter what we started to talk about our conversation always ended up on the garden.

We have come to some conclusions. Firstly we both like & trust the designer. Secondly these designs are already more advanced than any we saw from the first designer. We feel he’s got to grips with the general idea of what we want. Thirdly we are relieved to say the price is not much more, well within our budget, & yet the design is more inspiring.

For now we’re letting the ideas simmer. After the weekend I’m intending to give Al, our gardener, a ring to see if he would like to see the designs & maybe take note of any of comments. He’s probably more aware than us of the practical gardening considerations. We’re not going to rush the decision but we are beginning to think the work will get done in time for us to appreciate the garden more next summer.


Wednesday 20 November 2013

Downfall



I’ve just been listening to “The Screwtape Letters” by CS Lewis on Radio 4. I’ve been enjoying it every day this week.

I remember listening to it once before. It must have been well over a decade ago now. The reader then was Sir Ian Richardson. I preferred his reading. Somehow he managed to capture a sneer, a malevolence, a feeling of high intelligence, which is missing in the voice of the present reader, Simon Russell Beale.

For those who don’t know the book, it consists of a series of letters from a senior devil, Screwtape, to a wayward novice devil, Wormwood. In the letters Screwtape advises the latter how best to drive his victim away from God into Hell & the service of Satan.

It is a remarkably perceptive analysis of temptation. It isn’t always the obvious crimes that are the real downfall of people. It is the incipient little things, the move into inertia, that are the real causes of a downfall. They creep so gently, so innocuously, into life, it is easy for the victim not to realise it is even happening, that God is no longer the centre of his life.

Talking about downfalls, I might as well admit to my downfall on Monday. As you know I made an Indian Turkey Pie. When the time came to serve, I duly got the food on the plate. The Fox took his plate to the table. I followed with mine. I put the plate down on the table, got distracted & turned round. I hadn’t realised I still had the plate in my hand. Next thing food & plate went flying through the air. The dining chair caught the pie upside down, oozing curried turkey through the cracks of the smashed pastry. The plate arrived on the carpet. Peas scattered all round the room. We both scrambled to get as much food off the floor as possible. Fortunately we had vacuumed the carpet not long before so the food remained edible & hair/dirt-free. I ate my squashed mess before it got too cold. The Fox tried to reassure me that the pie was delicious, tasty & moist. 

After dinner we then spent another while on the floor picking up errant peas we missed, & cleaning up squashed peas we’d accidentally stood on. Our shoes needed washing underneath before we started walking peas around the whole house. Fortunately our carpet in the kitchen/diner is one of those that wipes clean very easily. The dining chair has subsequently had frequent washes to try to get the stains out of the fabric seat. They are getting paler by the day.

I came to the conclusion the real problem was that I was overtired. Whenever that happens I tend to get very accident-prone, so that night I took a sleeping pill. I felt considerably better, a lot fresher, yesterday. I’ve also been very careful how I’ve put things down on surfaces. We want no more accidents.

Monday 18 November 2013

Waiting



I’m just waiting for the filling to cool down & the puff pastry to thaw out. We’re having a curried turkey pie for dinner tonight. I’m rather looking forward to it. It’s not something we have often so it should be quite a change.

It’s a damp morning. We are still hoping to get to the computer shop this afternoon, & certainly the problems I’ve had getting on-line suggest the urgency of so doing. I’m just hoping when we do get it there, it won’t take too long to be fixed. There are some things, such as my freezer list, which I keep on floppies & on this computer which I won’t be able to update or consult during the computer’s absence. I’ll just have to keep a paper list & hope I remember to write everything down.

Over the weekend I’ve indulged in a few more glasses of wine. It doesn’t seem to be having any adverse effect. I think I will keep at this level for a while before maybe introducing an extra glass midweek. I confess it is nice to have a little bit of alcohol again.

I do enjoy the adventure of discovering various wines. They are so different according to grape variety, regions of production, even field & vintage. You never quite know what you will find until that first sip. Even then I sometimes think I don’t know a wine until I’ve had at least a glass. My opinion can change as I grow more familiar with it. Sometimes something that seems impossibly tannic dissolves into velvet. Others seem exciting at first & then settle into a rather boring monotony of taste. As I say it’s always an adventure.

Sunday 17 November 2013

A quiet morning



I’m having a quiet morning today, catching up on activities in Ambridge courtesy of “The Archer Omnibus” on Radio 4. There’s no food preparation for me to do today. The Fox is in charge of the dinner & he’s making a Tuna Fish Pilaff.

I’ve just completed my latest jigsaw, entitled “Native American Dreams”, as idealistic a portrait of Native American life as you could want. Maybe that’s appropriate for dreams. Certainly it’s a place where the sun always shines, even though there is a fabulous rainbow. Life is about playing or riding proudly around, enjoying oneself & that’s it. If only life was that simple!

Tomorrow we’re hoping to get off to Lancaster to the computer shop. The main computer is getting so slow, as I’ve mentioned before it’s like wading through treacle, or, in view of my recent novel, like wading through the mud-filled battlefield of Agincourt in full armour. We suspect it’s probably caught a virus. It can certainly do with a service. It’s quite a while since it last went into shop. We shall miss the computer but at least this laptop is working fine these days. I just hope it doesn’t take too long to fix.

Friday 15 November 2013

Under way



The meeting went well. We spent Thursday afternoon, waiting. The new landscape gardener was due to come some time in the afternoon. First they had a job to complete in Lymm, Cheshire, before coming on here. Come 4pm we were beginning to think it would be too dark for them to see much of our present back garden.

No sooner had the 4pm gongs gone on our clock, when an unfamiliar vehicle turned the corner. It was them. They’d got held up in motorway queues. They got straight on with the measuring while it was still light. Afterwards they came in for a cup of tea, a warm-up, and a chat about what we want. We only gave general terms – some shade in the patio area, wheelchair access to the farther reaches, some raised beds, wildlife friendly, varying colour throughout the seasons, above all something easy to manage.

They seemed full of ideas. I get them impression one was primarily concerned with the planting, the other with the hard landscaping. They were impressed by the size of the garden which gave them so much potential. They’re keen to give us something natural looking with plenty of bird boxes, feeders, bird baths etc.

Eventually they left, promising to be back in contact in about a week, with some plans & costings, for us to look at & discuss. We can’t wait. Their enthusiasm was uplifting. We finally feel we’re under way.

Much as we suspect this may cost us a bit more, we’re also prepared to pay a bit more if we end up with something we can love for the rest of our lives.

Wednesday 13 November 2013

The garden



I’ve just had a brief time spent tidying up the front garden. It seemed a pity to miss the chance of a dry day for once & there are some very dead looking plants that needed sorting out. It’s also a day when I have no food preparation to do as we’re having a sweet chilli prawn stir-fry for dinner. The prawns are out thawing but that’s about all I can do towards the meal.

Today is Green Bin Day i.e. the day when the council comes to collect all recyclable garden & food waste. As a result the green bin was outside on the pavement waiting to be empted. That makes it a shorter walk for me to empty anything I removed from the garden. I was only out for less than half an hour but that was enough to exhaust me.

We’ve decided to see if we can get a different landscaper for our back garden. We suspect the man we’ve seen so far is fine at doing the job of constructing walls, putting in drains etc but he’s not great at design. He needs to be told exactly what wants doing. He would be okay for a small garden, but ours is large. Equally I’m sure he would be good if we were prepared to accept a basic design he could copy from a book, but that’s not what we want. We want something more original, more imaginative, & certainly with wheelchair access in mind. This is too big a job for him & he knows it. That’s why he has been dragging his feet over the design. We just wish he’d said & we could have found someone else earlier.

Unfortunately neither of us are great gardeners. Until we moved here in 2000 we never had a garden to tend. We lived in an upstairs flat. Before that we had the cottage on Leighton Moss but that was a temporary rental, with a garden already gone wild. It wasn’t worth the effort of tidying it. We did once take a scythe to it when the grass grew to eye height but that was it. Now in our 50s & 60s we face this huge back garden which is beyond us as it is now.

We’ve found a local company that has won awards at various flower shows, including Chelsea Flower Show, so we’re going to give them a go. It may cost more but hopefully it will get us a garden we can enjoy for the rest of our lives, something that requires little work to keep tidy & that I can get around on my electric scooter to see & appreciate. Here’s hoping.


Tuesday 12 November 2013

Thoughts of war



Thoughts of war, or is it peace, keep going through my mind. I suppose it is partly the effect of the time of year, with us all remembering those who have fought for our country, in particular during the First & Second World War. But it isn’t just that.

I’m currently reading “Azincourt” by Bernard Cornwell which is a tale of the battles leading up to, & including, Agincourt. The previous book I read was Helen Dunmore’s “Zennor in Darkness”, a novel set in Cornwall in 1917. In both books, war & its implications come through.

I end up feeling very grateful to have lived at a time when none of my contemporaries have had to face military conscription. They may have chosen to join the armed services, and ended up fighting in the Falklands, Iraq, Afghanistan, to name a few conflicts, but it has been their choice. The Fox has never had to face that choice & I have never had to face the anxiety of having a loved one away at war, maybe being injured or killed. We have been lucky.

Unfortunately, for all the remembrance services had, I’m beginning to feel war is becoming worse. In the days of Agincourt, in the 15th century, rape & pillage was the norm. This was largely banned in the 20th century, but now I’m aware of just how often rape & torture are once more becoming the norm. Civilians are often the victims of such treatment. It’s as though mankind is reverting to some pre-civilisation character, forgetting any concept of caring ethics. Is it just that the role of religion is being reduced in so many countries so has no restraining influence on men’s actions? I suppose I’m principally thinking in terms of a loving, forgiving Christian faith. Islamic extremism does seem to be growing but that seems to have little to do with personal growth into a better person & more to do with crusading zeal.

I’m not sure I’m much reassured by the emergence of drone fighting. I’m reminded of an old “Star Trek” episode in which two nations have been at war for hundreds of year. They feel no urge for peace as they never see to death, the suffering, that war involves. They stay remote from the action as operators of drones do. The war is about numbers, counters on a board, rather than about people being wiped away, destroyed.

There are times I despair of mankind. Will he never learn? Violence & greed never bring good, though I accept sometimes it is necessary to fight defensively, to protect your country & lifestyle from being trodden all over. But a world in which man can live in harmony with man seems almost further away now than in the days of my youth. Or is it that I’m just getting more cynical in my old age?

Monday 11 November 2013

Glad to be home



We’re safely home. We set off in pouring rain. The roads were awash. We seem to be driving through great lakes as the water formed huge pools across the roads as the leaves blocked the drains. Eventually we got onto the M6 motorway. Now the water caused further problems. The traffic ground to a standstill around Kendal. Finally we passed a trailer with an upside down car on it & men clearing the clutter of an accident. On we went. Next was road works. A second lot of road works appeared as we neared Shap. At least at this point you could be fascinated by the low-lying cloud over the fells & the way the mistiness floated around in the valleys. I think this must be the most beautiful stretch of motorway in the country, though forget it if you want to listen to the radio – the fells prevent any reception. We were beginning to wonder if we would ever reach Penrith, but we did.

The hotel itself was pleasantly updated, plenty of wood  features & log fires, even some interesting paintings. We remember delivering there 20 years or so ago – in those days we did a job delivering tourist info leaflets to all the hotels, B&B places etc throughout Windermere, Bowness, Ambleside, Grasmere, Ullswater & Penrith & once a year we ventured up to Carlisle & the Solway estuary. We were surprised to find the Penrith had now expanded more or less to the motorway.

The big problem we found with the hotel was the heating in the bedroom. It felt very cold & we realised the radiator was switched off. So we put it on & it became very noisy. Unfortunately, too, the bed was placed right up against the radiator with the result the heat from the bottom half of the radiator poured into the bed. Although we switched off the radiator at night, it didn’t stop the bed being far too hot for me at night. My knees tend to become radiators on their own at night. This pre-heating of the bed was just too much.

The weekend was further not helped by the fact the art exhibition itself was so poor. The more interesting exhibits I’d seen on line had already been removed as a new exhibition was due to start this week. What remained was very much student work, where the artists had yet to find their voice.

The Rheged Centre, where the exhibition was held, is a very confusing building on various layers. Some parts are ramped easily though that meant going a long way round rather than the much shorter stepped route. At one point we could see where the art exhibition was higher up. We tried the lift nearby to find that didn’t get us where we wanted. We went back down to the bottom to ask at the advice desk. They sent us to another lift. That only got us to some conference rooms. Down we went & asked a second time. They directed us to another lift. This time it worked but by this time the Fox was limping badly & our enthusiasm for the event was waning. We didn’t stay long.

The rain still came down. We decided to return to the hotel. On the way back we were surprised to see there was a thin scattering of snow on the Pennine fells. That explained the icy chill to the day.  We spent the rest of the day in the hotel, reading, snoozing, dining – a very quiet time.

It was a wonderful surprise to get up on Sunday to discover a white world with a blue blue sky. The frost was so hard you could almost see the crystal formations crusting the grass & shrubbery. We decided to come home the scenic route as it was such a beautiful day. So we came down along Ullswater & over the Kirkstone Pass. I always think Ullswater looks so spectacular at this time of year. It is surrounded by so many deciduous trees, birches & oak, that are so full of colour, of yellows & golds, even a touch of red. Even the grass was given a freshness by the brilliance of the sun. Stunning.

Ullswater in autumnal glory


Kirkstone Pass

On the way back we stopped at the golf club for a drink & a late breakfast of a bacon butty –so much tastier than the one we’d had at the hotel the previous day – and felt glad to be home. Last night the Fox made a Spicy Spag Bol, quick & delicious, the epitome of home. Today I’ve prepared a Cheese Pasta Medley – bacon & pasta in a cheesy oniony sauce. And we feel glad to be home. Last night we settled down to some music & a chat about our weekend away & our plans for the garden, & felt pleased to be back. I sometimes think going away for these short breaks is more about the renewal of appreciation of home when you get back, than about anything done while away – that can be disappointing, especially when it is as wet as last weekend was.

But at least we are back & glad of it. Not even the returned rain can dint hat joy.

Friday 8 November 2013

Dreaming of the off



Hopefully we will soon be off. My mind keeps going over the things we must take with us. A little pile is collecting of things we must remember to take – a pile of medication, toothbrushes, hair brush & comb, camera, box of tissues for the Fox - he's still not entirely cold-free - map, etc. To send us on our way I was woken by the sound of torrential rain hitting against the window & the glass of the greenhouse, not far from our bedroom window. I can but hope the weather will improve as the weekend goes on.

Fortunately the main thing we want to see is inside so the weather doesn’t matter much. If it does improve, maybe we will venture down to Ullswater and see that lake once more. We’re also thinking if it’s dry, we will manage a look around Penrith itself. It must be over 20 years since last we visited. Those were the days when I was able to walk around quite happily. I’m curious how it has developed over the intervening years.

Even if the weather doesn’t improve the hotel itself sounds reasonably comfortable. We may just end up relaxing in the lounge or bar. We’ll be taking our books with us.

We may even have a go at one of the spa treatments available. I confess I always feel ambiguous about the idea of a spa. People enthuse about how wonderfully relaxing they are, how much better they feel afterwards. I can’t help wondering if I won’t find them a bore, like getting your hair done. I’m also anxious that many of the treatments will necessitate getting changed & that is tiring, often pain-filled, in itself.

 Still we will decide when we get there, when we see what’s on offer, how we feel, what the weather’s doing – all very fluid. You never know we may find we’re enjoying ourselves so much we decide to stay a bit longer! We’ve nothing definite we have to be back for.

Wednesday 6 November 2013

He's back!



He’s back! Three cheers! The Fox is all but over his cold. He finally seems to be behaving & sounding more like himself. He’s still snuffling & coughing a bit but that’s all. Fortunately I’ve not gone down with it. We can look forward to our weekend away with some enthusiasm.

We went along to the golf club yesterday, first time in nearly a fortnight. We were both surprised by how much we have missed it, despite rarely seeing anyone we know there except on the Friday afternoon when Geriatrics’ Corner continues its weekly meet. 

Part of the attraction is undoubtedly the wonderful bacon butties they make. The bacon is some of the finest I think I’ve ever tasted. We’re trying to find out the source so we can do our bacon buying at the same place.

But it isn’t just that. There is something very relaxing, peaceful, life-restoring, just looking out over the oh-so-green course on one side & the Lakeland fells across the Bay on the other side. Just outside the window, course direction, there is a hedge with loads of berries & a bird table. The hedge is always alive with birds. The ducks waddle around the practice putting green. The sheer beauty & peacefulness of the view fills us with wonder & an inner tranquillity. We’ve taken the decision we will be renewing our membership come the new year. Our 6 month trial period has convinced us both of the spiritual value of membership. I suspect if it was on the Heysham side of Morecambe we would go even more often the twice weekly visits we usually make.

The one cloud on the horizon is that I’ve felt the need to cut down on the alcohol. My stomach has started feeling very uncomfortable again. Monday night I had nearly four hours of lying in bed, thrashing around, unable to get comfortable. All was fine yesterday as I returned to an alcohol-free day. I’ve decided to just have a little alcohol at the weekends or in time of celebration for the time being. Little will be the operative word, just a glass, no more than two. With this in mind I’m once more back to soft drinks for now, but I anticipate having some wine with meals when we go off to Penrith.

One of the main points of going to Penrith, apart from the need for a break, is to go to an art exhibition of young Cumbrian artists. The artworks include sculptures, including some designed to be shown outside. We’re hoping to be inspired by something for our new garden. Even though we might not see just the right thing we’re hoping we may find an artist we could commission at a price we can afford or are willing to afford. We’ll see. It should be interesting anyway.

We were surprised the other evening when an envelope came through the door. It was from the landscape designer we had been talking to before we went off to France in September. Although he had clearly visited the garden in our absence – we found yellow lines drawn all over the patio area – and he had said he would phone & bring the designs around at the end of September, we had heard nothing more from him. I’d even rung to find him out what was happening. I’d left a message on his answerphone but he never rang back. We’d given up on him & decided to see if we could find another landscape designer. So you can imagine our surprise when this envelope arrived containing the new designs & a DVD. We’ve yet to discuss the changes or to try to operate the DVD, which is supposed to show a virtual 3D tour of the garden as it is proposed to be. However, on a casual look, we’re both feeling like he’s getting the idea of what we’re looking for. 

Last Wednesday, as we going to the hospital, we passed his vehicle. I suspect he recognised our car & had his memory jolted. Whatever the reason, we’re feeling more optimistic that the garden may eventually get done.

Monday 4 November 2013

Yet more catching up



It’s a white morning, the sky a brilliant glowing light-filled blue. I venture round to the laundry room. En route I stop to look at the thermometer on the garden shed, -9˚C. No wonder it feels so cold. As I look around I notice all our neighbours’ gardens are frosted white. Ours alone remains green.  Once inside again, I look out of the front windows. The cars in the street are covered by twinkling white. The roofs are the same. Even the purple sage, which always has a furry whiteness to it, is now most definitely white & sparkly. Winter is definitely on its way.

I’m glad, & relieved, to say the Fox has turned the corner. He even felt up to cooking yesterday, just a quick Kipper & Egg Kedgeree. I’d come to the conclusion, if I was to change the sheets & sort out the washing, my usual Sunday chores,  then it was going to be a takeaway. Instead the Fox cooked. Admittedly it did shatter him but then it is the most he’s felt up to doing all week. It’s beginning to look as though we might get off to Penrith for our weekend break. I’m just hoping I manage to continue to avoid getting this cold myself.

On Saturday I had a go at catching up with all my cousins. First I tried Pat. She’s had her last course of chemotherapy for her breast cancer. It seems she’s done well. Unfortunately in the process she’s gained a Deep Vein Thrombosis & Phlebitis. As she can’t take warfarin, she now has to inject her tummy daily. She’s feeling grateful for that extra layer of flab she has there, so it’s not too uncomfortable. She’s also going to have a scan for osteoporosis as that can also be a side effect of the chemo.

Next I rang my cousin Ann. She’s responding much better to her new form of chemo & on the whole is feeling not too bad. She’s more put out by discovering she’s now getting pain in one of her knees. It’s osteoarthritis, just the usual wear & tear variety. It’s still too early to operate on that. She’s even more worried about her dog, Ben. Ben is terrified of fireworks & it’s that time of year again. There are two big municipal displays on either side of where she lives. Those are on top of the odd ones that have been going off for a while in people’s private gardens. (Around here, there seem to be fewer that usual – a sign of the continued recession & the consequent money shortages?)

Finally I tried my cousin Alma, the one with terminal lung cancer. Her voice is now so faint it is difficult making out what she says. She really fancies the idea of a few days holiday break herself. The only thing is she needs to stay near the hospital in case of an emergency & she needs someone to accompany her in case she needs any help. I would have suggested we could go with her but Essex, where she lives,  is a long way form North Lancashire, too far for us to drive, not to mention that I’m not sure if we’re in much of a state to give her much aid. The best we could probably do is raise help. The idea of a break in a hospice that has been suggested doesn’t appeal to her – there’s a lot of sick people there, moaning away. She wants to see life while she still can! However she did raise the energy to give the Fox a good telling off for lollygagging over this cold, &, lo, he smiled & started to get better. I hope our phone call cheered & revitalised her too.

I'm even beginning to think I might get around to making the chorizo pizza I was intending to make last Monday for today's dinner. The Fox would seem to be in a state to take over if necessary. His taste buds are also coming back to appreciate my efforts.

Friday 1 November 2013

News catch up



The weekend break is off. The Fox is still in no shape to go away. His sense of taste is distorted & he his still not feeling up to doing much. What little he has done has just exhausted him.

We did get to the hospital though, on Wednesday. I’m relieved to say my pancreas is once more of reasonable size & not inflamed. There is no sign of any tumours either. With this good news we opened a bottle of sparkling pinot grigio in the evening to celebrate. I only had a glass & a half but it was enough to see how things go.

By the time we got back from the hospital, the Fox was wiped out & needed to retreat to bed for a lie down to recover a bit before dinner. It had been a bad journey in, with massive traffic jams trailing for miles into Lancaster. I was late arriving as it had taken us over 45 minutes to get into town despite diverting down side streets.

So yesterday we did some food shop. Again the Fox returned exhausted. We wouldn’t have even gone if it hadn’t have been for the fact we were running out of so many basics – tea, butter, margarine, onions, eggs, stock cubes, frozen peas. At least now we are once more stocked up well in enough for a few days.

We are only eating basic food. Things have to be quick & easy as the Fox is in no position to help me. What is more, even if I did go to more effort, it’s not as though he is even in a state to appreciate it. So it’s been a diet of ready meals & one day of breakfast-for-dinner. It’s back to frozen fish of some sort today, probably breaded plaice or battered cod. Still it is sufficient to keep us going.

Yesterday saw the appearance of another new home help. Again she seemed reasonably efficient & affable. There’s still no real sign of who will be the regular one. At least this one took the vouchers for both weeks so we’re up to date on the payment. We’ll see who comes next week.

The hotel reservation I’ve moved to next weekend. I’m hoping by then the Fox will be more like himself. I’m also hoping I haven’t gone down with this cold. So far I seem to be avoiding it, but I am aware I’m tiring & I suspect that is likely to make me more vulnerable. If we can’t make it next week we will abandon the idea until we’re sure we’re both well. The art exhibition we were hoping to see finishes on the 10th November, so we may well prefer to go somewhere else if we go away at all.