Tuesday 31 May 2011

Another change of plans

We never made it to Ricky's. Instead the Fox got up feeling terrible. He thought he was going down with a cold. Certainy the weather has been so unsettled of late it's been difficult to know what to wear - half the time I'm over dressed & sweltering, the other half rushing to find a woolly as I'm shivering - all very conducive to a cold. We rang up Den & Fran to cancel the meal. As the evening set in the Fox brightened up a bit.

I can't quite decide whether he has got a cold or whether it's one of those times that he shows all the signs of a cold but the real problem is just overtiredness, compounded perhaps with the stuffed up feeling that comes with hay fever. Either way rest is the best cure. We'll see as today goes on.

Fortunately we had a few Booth's freezer meals still in. I hastily got the chicken & mushroom lasagne in the oven & warmed up a tin of sweetcorn. Today I'm more prepared. I've par-boiled some new potatoes to have with a crab gratin. I'm cheating by using a tin, rather than fresh crab.

I remember once, many years ago, when the Fox was working at the Windermere Steamboat Museum, he was given a whole fresh though boiled, undressed crab, by way of thanks for the lifts home he'd given the wife of this colleague, an enthusiastic fisherman. It took me ages trying to tackle this crab, trying to work out which bits were edible, which were not, from some rather poor black & white illustrations in a cookbook. Never again I thought, unless I've got a person to point out what's what.

I have before now bought dressed crab from our local fishmonger but that is very expensive &, if you are using to cook with, I'm not sure how much better it tastes. For a salad it's another matter.

So we'll see what happens today. The only certs are that we must get up to the surgery to drop in a repeat prescription, make a hair appointment for me (I need a prettify before our trip to Stoke) & buy some cards.

Monday 30 May 2011

Quiet day ahead

Maybe it's just as well we're dining out today. This has been another weekend dominated by a joint sense of exhaustion. Today there's no food to prepare, no Pub to visit, just a quiet (almost extra weekend) day. 

I'm expecting Angie, the cleaner any time now. At least I'm hoping it's going to be Angie. We've spent most of the last week sending good wishes for her as she had her angiogram & the results thereof. Hopefully it will be a problem that can be solved with pills, like so many problems these days.

Then it's to Ricky's this evening, just the four of us, though the wetness of the day may mean Mrs B will be joining us. The food is always good there & Ricky himself very welcoming. It's very much a family run restaurant. Whenever he has a chance he will come over to have a chat & a joke with us. It should be good. It certainly means nothing to prepare this morning for our evening meal.

Sunday 29 May 2011

Roast beef & all the trimmings

Yesterday's roast beef was a very pleasant surprise. I don't often roast beef, mainly because the results are so often disappointing, and it's not just my cooking. Over the years I have just eaten so much tough old shoe leather. Most of the time, the best I can hope for is something that is not too tough & is meat tasting rather than beef flavoured.

On the whole I'm not very impressed with my stepmother's cooking but one thing she did do well was roast beef. It always seemed to come out moist & succulent, accompanied  with fluffy Yorkshires.

My own mother only roasted beef once that I can remember & that was for the Fox's benefit. When we were engaged he expressed a love for beef, so she cooked it to please him. Normally she didn't roast beef for us due to a long running dispute with my father over the question of what Yorkshire puddings should be like. My mother always served appropriate accompaniments with her roasts so, for her, Yorkshires were essential. The problem was that she believed they should be light & fluffy while my Dad always insisted they should be flat & heavy. Her solution was to just avoid the situation, not roast beef & so not make any Yorkshires. It was a measure of how much she wanted to please the Fox that she roasted that joint when the Fox was dining with us that Boxing Day.

As for yesterday's roast beef, it was beautiful. The meat was moist, succulent & very beefy. It looked very dark, almost purply brown, when we bought it at the Farmers' Market. It was obviously well hung. Cooked, it was simply delicious. It made me think I should roast beef more often. It also justifies going to the market if that's a reflection of the quality of the meat we end up buying.

Saturday 28 May 2011

Eating out?

We pick PD up on the way to the Pub. "We can't make the end of the month meal," he suddenly announces. His children are away at the moment & right now, with so recent a death in the family, he & his wife feel priority has to be given to family. They won't know for definite what they are doing until the children are back & let them know whether they are needed for, possibly even hosting, a family get-together over the Bank Holiday. Or for that matter if they are required for extra childminding duties. "Are you two going anyhow? he adds.

We both come to the same conclusion. No. Numbers are very depleted. Linda & her friend are off to Dublin - some international hairdressing competition. Helen is dog-sitting. We hadn't seen the others for ages to ask them. Just for ourselves why bother, when as I said not long ago, we prefer on the whole to eat at home.

At the Pub, among others, were Fran & Den. As soon as they had the chance they asked if the meal was still on on Monday. We looked at each other & said sure if they were coming. They eat out a lot but they do appreciate having a bit of company & we  haven't dined with just them for a while, not since Christmas Day in fact.

So this morning, I ring Mrs B, the only other person who hasn't said one way the other. She's off to Cartmel races on Monday with the family. If it rains she might come along to the meal, but otherwise she will be doing her family traditional Bank Holiday day out to the races. So it looks as though it will be just the four of us. In some ways that's suits us better. We can focus our attention on our fellow guests & the Fox can hear all that's being said.

But meanwhile we've got a quiet weekend ahead. The potatoes are par-boiled ready for roasting. The batter's made for the Yorkshire pudding. We're all set for traditional roast beef with all the trimmings. Great.

Thursday 26 May 2011

A young pretender

I've come to the conclusion that the starlings have not come to nest here. No, they seemed to have moved house, bringing their youngsters with them. I can only presume our garden provides better, and easier, feeding opportunities than wherever they nested. Now we seem to have an almost permanent cacophony of rather raucous voices. 

When we're eating is a particularly noisy time. We watch parent birds flying into the trees, their beaks full of worms etc. They seem to have overflowed into a willow tree, with a thinner leaf coverage. There you see the youngsters being fed.

One youngster ventured along onto the garage roof yesterday. It stood very upright, stretching its neck up looking around. It seemed to be pretending to be a meerkat. After a while the strain was too much & he lowered his upper body into a more bird-like stance.

We're off later this morning, away from the squawks, to the Farmers' Market to see what goodies we can find. I'm hoping for some salt marsh lamb for today's dinner as well as some cheese, beef & sausages for later in the week. We'll see. I may be tempted to other things too!  A bit of pork maybe. The quality of the meats is usually excellent & the prices reasonable. Without having the middle man to pay, the farmers sell at a similar price to the supermarkets while giving you higher quality. Great.

Wednesday 25 May 2011

Change of times

I've finally got through!

Earlier this week, the Fox got a letter from the hospital giving him an appointment at 16.55 one day next month. For us this is just too late. The letter blithely says to be prepared for an hour wait before being seen. This is for his tinnitus problem & we know from previous experience that the tests themselves can take a further hour. To get to Lancaster for 16.55 means trying to cross Lancaster in the midst of rush hour. Then we may not get out of the hospital until 7pm. We would clearly have to eat out but even then it may well be nearer 8pm before food reached us by which time I would probably be too tired to eat it. All in all too late, not helped by the fact that on the same date we already have an appointment for the central heating boiler to be serviced at time unspecified. So it is all week, at regular intervals, I've been ringing up the hospital to try to change the appointment time.

There's seems to have been a problem with the phone system at the Royal Lancaster Infirmary. PD has also been trying to get through, a different department admittedly, to get to the same recorded voice saying they are unable to answer the phone at the moment, to leave a message & they will get back to you as soon as possible. PD subsequently spoke to the mental health department here in Morecambe to discover that the RLI phone system had gone down. He finally managed to get through  to the RLI yesterday afternoon, so, a bit more hopefully, I tried yet again this morning. Answerphone yet again. Another try, engaged. That at least encouraged me to think there was a real person at the other end who was able to answer the phone. A third endeavour & I was through.

Apparently they only do call-up appointments late in the afternoon. I explained I was disabled & my husband had just had a stroke, that this was just too late. She said she'd see if she could find an earlier time. They only do morning appointments in Morecambe. I instantly told her Morecambe was a lot more convenient for us so we now have a 12.15pm appointment, the following day, at Morecambe. So much better. I just wish it had been such hard work getting through to change it!

Tuesday 24 May 2011

Wild

We decided to toodle into Lancaster yesterday to have a look at slow cookers. Afterwards we adjourned to our local village pub to discuss what we had seen. then we came home. 

The road from the pub is a rather windy narrow lane. On one of the twists you see Morecambe Bay between the houses. Normally we hardly notice it, partly because it isn't particularly dramatic at this point & partly because it's so familiar. Yesterday was different.

This was no gentle lapping. Even white horses had run away in fright. This was great rollers, threatening to roll over onto the road. The water looked so brown & cold.

Further along the way home, after turning onto another, wider, road, there is a view point, breath-taking at any time. We just had to stop, to watch the power of the tide coming in. Awesome indeed!

We have been half-wondering, if the trip to Stoke works out well, whether we couldn't at least manage a holiday in Britain, even if we couldn't face airports yet. We had been thinking of somewhere like the Isle of Man, so convenient when the ferry leaves from here. For me it was the usual holiday destination of my childhood, but I've not been back since.The Fox has never been. Or perhaps one of the Scottish islands, such as Islay or Arran - the Fox is currently reading a novel based on the life of Robert the Bruce & it's renewing his urge to see some of these islands. But, on a day like yesterday, we are very grateful not to be thinking of venturing out to sea in a ferry. At least that way we can keep food down in our stomach!

Once home we tackled the chicken curry pancakes I'd made in the morning. As we ate we watched the collared dove holding onto the trellis with its feet for dear life, head bent into the wind. I was reminded of visiting Humphrey Head one windy day with a friend. We'd all had to bend into the wind to prevent ourselves being blown off the cliff. You could almost just lie back, supported by it. Another very blowy day. The dove was doing the same. A blackbird came along. He almost crash-landed on the terrace. Twisting awkwardly he desperately grabbed the wooden strips of the terrace before some accident occurred.

Trying to stand still on a windy Humphrey Head
 
The wind still blows today. A bit quieter perhaps but not by much. We're just grateful we had a new roof put on our home a few years ago. Otherwise we would be worrying about the tiles.

Saturday 21 May 2011

Thank goodness it's the weekend

It is with some relief we reach the weekend. Yesterday evening, on the way back from the Pub, it struck us how tiring the week had been. All the appointments had caught up with us.

I suppose it hadn't helped with it not being the most satisfactory visit to the Pub. The Fox was put out when his usual pint was off. They pulled a second pint of a different brew but he didn't like the taste as much, & was somewhat put out when he wasn't given back the 20 pence difference in price. On top of that his tinnitus was ringing badly. He was grateful for Steve's voice booming. It was the only voice he could hear clearly over the rather loud background music (some rather good jazz that was so loud as to be distracting). By the time we had then gone on to the mandatory Times2 crossword (PD insists) during which he'd struggled to hear, he was just drained, working too hard for little reward.

As we came back & the Fox started to relax, it became apparent just how tired he was. I suspect his blood pressure was rising rapidly. He seemed tense & irritable. He was going to cook when we got home so I suggested we ate out instead, despite all I'd said in my last blog, or that I did it. He was clearly in such a state that accidents were sure to happen. Sometimes eating out is a necessity & this looked one such occasion.

We got home. The Fox was still insisting on cooking. Then he had a fight to get the cork out of the bottle for the accompanying wine. At this point, I thought this was downright stupid to go on. 

We contemplated a Chinese takeaway. We perused our various menus but were too tired to cope even with wading through the vast list. I suggested we left it till later, but the Fox reckoned it was fatigue rather than sleepiness, & anyhow if we left it too late I would be past eating. 

So we thought we'd toodle down to our local village pub. The list to tackle would at least be shorter. As we set off once more, it suddenly struck me. The obvious answer was to have one of those microwave ready meals we'd bought the other week from Booths. It was just for such a situation that we'd stocked up with them. We turned round, homeward bound once more. Relieved, we got out the Braised beef with mushrooms in a brandy sauce, perfect to go with the open bottle of red wine, & put on some Chinese egg noodles - quick & tasty.

The meal was delicious. We ate to the sight & sounds of the flock of starlings that seem to have moved in a couple of days again. They all seemed to keep diving into a huge tree. I suspect they've decided to roost there for the breeding season. That will put out our resident magpie whose tree that is!

Thank goodness it's the weekend. We can have a quiet time to re-boost our energies, a chance to get back on top things. The par-boiled potatoes & chicken that I had prepared yesterday, now in the fridge, can be eaten today when we can enjoy them - both the cooking & the eating.

Thursday 19 May 2011

Eating at home

Last week, when we were contemplating the week ahead, we'd realised how much we had to do, we decided to make a date of it today eat out. Our friend from Kendal is coming this afternoon, which may be taxing so we will not feel like cooking.

Now that day has arrived. And what has happened? Well, I'm once more plopping away a meatball curry, ready to warm up tonight.


I'm trying to work out why this change of heart. Our friends are eager to eat out on any excuse yet we peservere with cooking whenever possible.


My first answer is that our friends appreciate having something to eat they wouldn't normally have at home. But that doesn't really apply to us. I 'll tackle anything. As you may have realised by now, we have a wide variety of meals, of styles of cuisine. We do have some favourites which recur fairly often such as today's curry, but we don't ritually have the same meals every week. PD his wife seem to exist on a weekend roast followed by several days of cold leftovers, then something like a prawn courgette pasta meal a Chinese takeaway once a week. The variety of meat may change but that seems about it. I heard somewhere they reckon most households in this country know how to cook about 6 dishes which they have every week. Presumably the seventh day is a takeaway or a meal out elsewhere.


I admit these days I don't often make starters or desserts, but apart from that I will tackle anything. We have Chinese food every bit as good as at most Chinese restaurants. (The Fox is a real wow with his wok these days!) Our pasta is often freshly made. Our Indian are something more than just a re-heated jar. Our British is varied, a mixture of traditional, contemporary fusion.


In the past I have made that great French classic dessert croquembouche, every bit as elaborate as seen on TV. It's just these days energies are limited it has to be admitted our waistlines need a bit of limiting too.


All of this is to say I'm not sure what we eat out that we don't, ot couldn't if we wanted, eat at home.


The other reason for eating at home for preference is that we both love cooking. We find it therapeutic, a time out from everyday worries to concentrate on something else. I miss that when we eat out.


As far as I am concerned the attractions of eating out are more for the conviviality of seeing friends, for a change of scene, as part of a greater celebrational experience, as a completion of a day out, or just as a necessity as neither of us feel up to the cooking (or washing up afterwards, even with a mechanical dishwasher!) We go, hoping for something to eat that is at least as good as what we have at home if not baetter. So often we are disappointed in this.


No, if possible it is home-cooking for us. And today it's a meatball curry. But if we don't feel up to it by this evening, it will only improve ready for tomorow's delictation.

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Volcanoes

As I prepared today's chicken & vegetable pie, I  had the radio on. The programme was "Book of the Week: Vesuvius: the Most Famous Volcano in the World".  I found myself thinking of volcanoes I have known.

I suppose I'd seen volcanoes on TV or in films from an early age but these had no real meaning for me. I had never seen one, not the reality of one.


At school, while studying Latin, I read Pliny's account of Vesuvius exploding. Dramatic indeed. Terrifying certainly for those people then, who had no scientific basis to explain what was happening. Devastating too. Just look at the ruins of Pompeii or of Herculaneum. But still volcanoes remained distant objects. 

As I grew older I saw extinct volcanoes. So I climbed Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh, & various Lakeland fells. But, to me, these remained hills, mountains, not volcanoes.


No, the first time volcanoes, & what they can do, really impinged upon me was when we went to Tenerife. At a talk in the hotel we were told that Mt Tiede is expected to erupt again before so long & when it did the tidal wave would swamp Florida. Then the power began to dawn on me. We went a drive around the mountain, saw the other worldliness of the terrain carved out by various eruptions over the centuries.

After that I once more went back to extinct volcanoes, or at least dormant ones. PD, our friend at the Pub, is an ex-geography & sport teacher. He's passionate about geology & how the land is formed. He explained one time at the Pub about how you can recognise the shape of a volcano. So, when we went on our second trip to Australia, up towards Port Stephen, north New South Wales, I was very aware of how many volcanic cones were around us. None showed signs of life I'm glad to say. 


The first time I really saw signs of volcanic life was when we visited Soufriere on St Lucia. There you can drive into the basin of the volcano. You see the steam seeping out of the earth. You are advised not to walk on parts a ground beneath is so hot. You smell the rotten eggs of the sulphur.

Just outside Soufriere  

Our next volcano was Vesuvius once more as we stayed in Pompei. Even today Pompei is dominated by Vesuvius. Wherever you look it's capless cone seems to be. At the time I read Robert Harris' novel of Pompeii & his vivid account of that eruption Pliny had written about so long ago. I had come full circle.
 
Now, as I write, I find myself wondering if Vesuvius is the most famous volcano. Certainly in the western world it is, but what about other parts of the world. How does Krakatoa rate? Or Mt Fuji? I assume from it's shape the latter is a volcano. (I still remember PD's lecture on the matter so know what shape to look out for.) I wonder.

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Missed friends

We're not even pretending any more. Winter's back. The central heating is once more back on. It was lovely to get up in the warmth once more.

I was bemused to hear that the RSPB has asked people to place mud &  water in their gardens, as the martins & swallows are having difficulty finding sufficient for building their nests. All I can say is they should continue their migration journey a bit further north. We have no shortage of either, without any intervention on our part. After days of rain we've got mud a-plenty & there's once more a lake barring access to the greenhouse.

When we lived in Arnside, we always had martins nesting outside our bedroom window. We would watch as the adults carefully attached globules of mud to the building wall, just under the gutters. Later on we would wake to the sound of the young screaming for food. You would see their tiny heads peeping out of the scoop entrance.  Then, come the early autumn, they would mass in great numbers on the telephone lines over our back yard, easily watched from our bedroom window. 

We miss them. There doesn't seem as many here. Oh yes, you see them flying over the farmland nearby, collecting on the telephone lines ready for the trip back to Africa, but none actually nest here, or even regularly visit our garden despite the clouds of midges we sometimes have.

I suppose it is partially that in Arnside we lived within sight of the Bay, and the sandbanks when the tide goes out, provide loads of mud for nests. We're a bit further away here though only by a couple of roads. I suspect, too, it's partially that this is so much more built-up an area to live in. Either way, they are missed.

Monday 16 May 2011

Winter returns

One thing's for certain. The washing is not going out on the line this morning. Rain slashes on the window, driven on by the wind. The temperature here has dropped so much we've been tempted to put the heating back on, indeed have succombed to the temptation for a couple of hours just to get some of the chill out of the house & out of our bones.

I'm once more waiting for Angie, the cleaner, to come. It's not that I'm required to do anything while she is here, but it is very difficult to settle down to anything else, to reading, sewing (I'm in the midst of embroidering a tablecloth at the moment), even jigging. I suspect though, today I will getting the pastry rolling done. I've taken some puff pastry out of the freezer this morning. At the moment it's still far too hard roll. We're having chicken vol-au-vents for dinner tonight, so the cases need to be cut out, so they will be ready to pop in the oven this evening.

We've had a very quiet weekend, not even venturing out of the house, except to the laundry room for the freezer, the front garden for some herbs & the waste bins. I think it's done us good. I think we're both appreciating the oasis of peace to re-gather our strength for the week ahead. And as I said last time I wrote, this week's going to be a busy one. PD has already phoned to see if we can pick him up & take him to the Pub this afternoon. I've agreed. It's time we had a change of scene & faces around us.

Saturday 14 May 2011

All go

It's blowing up a storm today. I got up to the sound of the wind whistling down the lounge chimney. Now I hear the rain lashing on the windows. Across the road, some builders are stripping off the roof ready to put a new one on. I wouldn't like that job on a day like this! I gather from Mrs B, who lives in a flat overlooking the Bay, that today the sea looks rough, cold & full of white horses. I'm not surprised!

I've got a quiet morning today, nothing that needs to be done. I've peeled the potatoes ready for this evening. The lamb & some bacon are thawing but there's nothing I can do to hasten that process. It's time I had a quiet day . Life seems very tiring for both of us at the moment.

The Fox has discovered the reality of the difference between ordinary healthy tiredness after exertion, and the fatigue that comes with a medical problem. The latter involves a drainedness. It does not necessarily imply a sleepiness, just a total lack of energy, a sure sign you've been overdoing it.

Next week is going to be another tiring one. Tuesday we've the dentist. Wednesday sees the Fox at the surgery for yet another blood pressure reading & blood letting. Thursday brings a friend from Kendal round. Those already are definite commitments. No doubt at some point we'll have some food shopping to do as well. And of course there's Angie, the cleaner, to come - not an entirely relaxing experience, but another necessity as neither of us feel up to the task of keeping on top of the dust & germs. And on top of that there's PD's morale to keep up as he adjusts to the fact that his son's father-in-law died on Thursday. PD doesn't cope with change well & is very anxious about the possible ramifications on so many people he cares about, his daughter-in-law, his children, his grandchildren, his wife, the widow.

It's all go, not being in good health!

Thursday 12 May 2011

Great day to be alive

The Fox has already written about his review. Suffice for me to say all went well. The chances of another stroke are not great provided we keep an eye on his blood pressure & try to avoid excess stress. Exercise is once more on the cards & can only improve things. Just what we wanted to hear. Suddenly life doesn't seem to be closing down too much. We can gently increase its present scope.

So, with all this in mind, I set off to the fish shop on the Mean Machine in search of some sea bass, not to mention a couple of pots of shrimps. It's a wild day today. The wind is blowing strong. I was glad I'd thought to put on an extra cardigan as well as my coat before going out. Even so, I was pretty nigh frozen by the time I got back home. I think I should have re-dug out my gloves & woolly hat too! 

As for the Bay, that was full of white horses, jumping up & down in the cold grey waters. Towards the land the gulls lay on the thermals. No need to flap wings on a day like this, except to avoid crashing into a building occasionally. The starlings were massed on the grassy banks. They'd been recently cut & so there were plenty of grubs to be found as the birds' full beaks proved.

It was certainly a day to blow out the cobwebs and feel alive!

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Old friends

Yesterday we decided to go off to Carnforth, to Booth's, to stock up on some freezer foods & cheeses. We seem to have been getting low of late. I suppose it's partially that we've had a few extra ready meals with the Fox not being well enough to help with the cooking. (I'm glad to say he's once more in full swing as far as cooking as concerned. He made us an exxcellent chicken chow mein yesterday.)

As we came out of the till area I noticed an old lady seated, waiting. It was our neighbour who lived beneath us when we lived in Arnside. She must be well into her 80s by now. We had a chat & caught up on old times before going our separate ways.

After this we progressed to our usual butcher for some chicken for today's dinner.

Then we stopped at a pub we don't usually visit. We headed to the loos first but were stopped by yet more familiar faces. This time it was Stella Dave & his friend Chas. We haven't seen Stella for years. He's a brilliant young man, rather too brilliant to cope easily with many people. Last we saw of him was a couple of years ago at the funeral of a mutual friend, Dave C, Linda's husband. Then Stella was working in London doing some high powered job. Now he was back, jobless yet again, victim of the recession. 

He was quite horrified to hear of the Fox's stroke, especially when he realised the Fox is just 61. He feels strokes are for old people. 61 is not old. Stella himself must be in his late thirties. His conclusion was enjoy yourself while you can. We whole-heartedly agreed.

Then another friend came in, another man we've not seen much of of late - Phil the Wizard. He's been very preoccupied with grandchildren these days, having recently gained twins after his daughter had a rather difficult pregnancy. He's now grandfather to 4.

It was good to have an unpressured shop, to see old friends, to catch up on old times. Suddenly my blog of yesterday seemed a bit irrelevant. I once more felt young, with things to do & people to see. Maybe life isn't growing to a full stop so quickly after all.

Tuesday 10 May 2011

Growing old

Tomorrow we're off to the hospital - 6 week review since the stroke. My, it seems a long 6 weeks! Hopefully we'll come back with some answers, though we both suspect we'll be told they can't say anything for definite as each person acts & reacts differently. We're just hoping for some light to be shed, to have an idea, for example, whether the Fox should try to build up his exercise or not. He still finds the walk to the Post Office around the corner & back, very tiring. So should he try walking a shorter distance at first & try each day to extend the distance? It would be helpful to know.

I have to say I'm beginning to agree with the Fox's mother, this getting old business is not much fun. I try to remind myself of the Fox's reply, "I  don't like the alternative". 

Increasingly I find friends & family are getting more creaky, if not dying. I can certainly see why most people didn't survive to collect their old age pension when the retirement age was first set. I, for one, wouldn't have been here. I'm sure my bout of cancer would have killed me. I wonder how the Fox would be now without his pile of modern medicines. Life certainly seems more precarious once you near 50. The NHS & all its services become more prominent features of life. The need to rely on other people grows.

All this sounds downbeat. Maybe it's just that yesterday I read of one dear friend's colonoscopy ordeal. I was also told our temporary home help has just got her appointment for an angiogram. She's about 51, not old.

No, I hold onto the fact some things can still be enjoyed. I still love to watch the birds, & other wildlife, in the garden. Love to see the flowers open, even if they are daisies & dandelions in the lawn. Can still enjoy a good meal. Indulge in a bottle of wine, with some good music & the Fox's company. Pleasure in small things seems to increase, as big things become too taxing. Life can still be good.

Saturday 7 May 2011

Preparing for our travels once more

I've been on the phone most of the morning. My cousin Trudy is having a golden wedding celebration in June & we're invited.

The party will be down Stoke way, where they live. So first I rang a nearby hotel. I've managed to book a wheelchair accessible room for three nights. The party is to be on the Saturday evening but we've decided to go on the Thursday. That way if the Fox finds the travelling too tiring we can rest up a bit on the Friday to give him chance to recover. It will our longest journey since his stroke & the first stay away. He often finds holidays tiring as he usually ends up doing more pushing me around etc. We're hoping if we allow plenty of time, the trip will be relatively stress-free.

Then I rang my cousin Trudy to let her know we were coming & where I'd booked us in. It seems it's her son's regular eating out place, which sounds hopeful. With a bit of luck we should be able to get a decent meal there on Thursday evening. I gather we're to arrive at the party before most guests to ensure I can be settled into a comfy chair while there still are chairs available. Trudy & Bill are keeping their fingers crossed for some sunshine for that weekend.

After that I rang my cousin Ann, another branch of the family, who also lives in Stoke. She & her husband have also been invited. She's decided we want to lunch with her & her husband, Derek, on the Friday. She's going to book a table ready for us. We're then to go to their place for a bit of the afternoon. They moved house just before Christmas & are still proudly showing off their new home. So much for a quiet Friday. Still I'm confident they will understand if we don't feel up to much & just want a rest. Ann is a retired nurse so she appreciates the implications of a stroke.

All in all it sound as though it should be a good weekend, with much catching up on family news. I'm now just hoping it isn't going to be too tiring for us. It will certainly be a change of scene for us and we're both looking forward to it immensely. 

Friday 6 May 2011

A gala meal out

So yesterday I got the ironing done in the morning. I even planted out a dozen petunia plants we'd bought the day before to bring a bit of colour to the garden. In the afternoon the Fox went to the barber's, then we had our lie down. It didn't stop us from being tired. Personally I was almost too tired to eat. By the time I got to the desserts I'd almost ground to a halt, not because they didn't look delicious, or I wasn't hungry, but because I was just feeling too tired to make the effort to eat them. I felt more like just putting my head down & sleeping. Then the Fox suddenly suggested going to pay. His leg was beginning to bother him again. I hastily finished my desserts, hoping he felt up to the drive home, because I doubted I was in any state to do so. Once home it was a mug of tea & bed for me. The time? We left the Pub around 9.30pm, not unduly late for a night out.

As for the meal, it came beautifully presented. Some of it was delicious, some a bit over the top or just not quite made it. 

The menu? We started with canapes These turned out to be warm pork & black pudding sausage rolls & deep-fried risotto balls. The cold canapes were mini bagels filled with cream cheese & smoked salmon, little pastries topped with pate,a cherry tomato topped creamy thing. We were each presented with a glass of sparkling pinot grigio rose wine (rather bland to our minds) & a bottle of a sparkling mineral water for the table.

The next course was a guinea fowl terrine, served with salad leaves on a coleslaw base, a fruity marmalade/chutney and a warm fruit brioche. Lin & I both found the brioche too sweet for the terrine & would have preferred a simple piece of toast. The brioche was good & would have been a delight for afternoon tea, just not with the terrine.

Then came the sorbet. Mojito sorbet. We think we were all converted to mojitos. It was all a sorbet should be - light,  creamy & refreshing. The biscuit it was presented on crisp.

Onto the main course. This was lamb fillet slices on hotpot potatoes, a few spinach leaves, & a tomato jus. The meat had been cooked as a joint, then coated in chopped mint. The green looked so fresh against the pinkiness of the tender meat & tasted it too. The tower was topped with a piece of lamb sweetbread. None of us had ever had sweetbread. PD loved it. The rest of us were more dubious.

Then came the desserts. Each plate came with five desserts, each little more than a couple of mouthfuls. There was a sticky toffee pudding & custard, warm of course. Neither the Fox or I are great fans of sticky toffee pudding, finding it too sweet & rather sickly, but these were something else. So light. Sweet but not cloyingly so. In the middle of the plate was a scoop of ice cream wafered in between hand-made tuile biscuits. I've no idea what the flavour was. It was a pinky fawn colour. The consistency was perfect, very creamy. There was also a slice of custard tart, with plenty of nutmeg on top. Then there was the mini pavlova type dessert. The meringue at the base was crisp, above was soft, a thin bit of whipped cream, topped with strawberries. Then there was the very rich chocolate mousse, kept in shape by a thin teardrop of plain chocolate - a delight to the eye but a bit rich for the Fox & I. 

Finally on the table was a bowl of Thornton's chocolates to fill any remaining holes.


And all this just for £25 & some of that going to CancerResearch charity. Great value. I just wish I'd felt more up to appreciating it more.


Today Mrs B is having her birthday bash at the Pub. I can't see us going. Right now I feel more like going to sleep than more socialising. We'll see when the afternoon comes. Maybe we'll both feel a bit brighter by then. I suspect it will just be pushing things too much.

Wednesday 4 May 2011

Still tired

It's big shop day. Admittedly it doesn't look like too big a shop - a case of a few big items rather than a lot of little ones. I'm hoping the Fox is going to manage. After the events of Saturday, the Fox is once more feeling drained & having a tendency to drag his leg along. 

Yesterday we did go to the Pub. I'm not sure which he found worse, Dick Gobble's shocked "You look very tired!" or Linda's overwhelming sympathy. Either way he ended up feeling greyer. We'll just have to see how the shopping goes.

We're still hoping for that meal tomorrow. We're telling ourselves, with an afternoon lie down, we should be able to make it. I'm rather concerned as the Pub is not the most wheelchair-friendly place. In the afternoon I can manage the walk from the door, where the Fox usually drops me, to a seat in the bar we usually use. There's no steps. But the eating area involves steps & I will have to be in my wheelchair to cover the distance, especially at that time of day. Although the Pub has said the staff will lend a hand, the Fox is reluctant to accept he has to ask for the help. And as for the loos, that's down even more steps, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll not have to go - not particularly relaxing for a nice evening out.

Meanwhile, I see this morning, the wood-pigeon is still taking twiggery into the hedge. I have visions of the dove Noah sent off that returned with an olive twig in its beak. A sign of good things to come? Hope so, we could do with a change in our fortunes at the moment.

Tuesday 3 May 2011

Nest builders

I'm in the midst of preparing today's dinner - mince & potato patties. For the uninitiated, this involves making some mashed potato nests, filling them with some minced beef cooked in a very thick gravy, shaping the mash over the beef making a patty shape which is then breadcrumbed - a bit of a faff but worth it when you bite into the innocuous-looking golden breadcrumb shape to discover the minced beef oozing out of the middle.

Anyhow, I'd just made the nests, ready to fill, when I turn to wash my hands & my eyes stray through the window above the sink. Clearly I'm not the only nest builder today. Into the hedge opposite dives a wood-pigeon, twig in beak. It looks as though the wood-pigeons have decided this is such a wonderful location they've decided to build their new home here & try to raise a family.

Last night, while we were eating the Fox had noted a large bird entering the hedge. My back was to that window so I didn't see. He'd recognised it as a pigeon. I was surprised that one of the feral pigeons should have gone into the hedge. They don't normally. But now I suspect it was the wood-pigeon reconnoitering the territory for building. I wish them well & look forward to seeing some young before so very long.

Sunday 1 May 2011

Lifestyle changes

Life is going to have to change, but how? That is the question.

Yesterday, in the midst of cooking, I accidentally knocked over a tub of oil. The Fox rushed to clean up. By the time he'd cleaned up & I'd finished cooking the dinner, the Fox was on the verge of another stroke. His hand was once more tingling, his leg dead, his appetite gone. He just hadn't been able to cope with the stress involved.


Accidents will inevitably happen. That's an unfortunate part of life, but we've got establish a lifestyle that is less taxing every day on the Fox. It has to be admitted looking after a disabled person is a physically & emotionally demanding occupation. That's why so many carers end up ruining their own health in looking after their loved ones. Much as I try to minimise my demands & make sure the Fox feels appreciated, it doesn't alter the stress involved. Equally, with the best will in the world, I'm not in a position to help much.

The problem is that getting people in to help physically doesn't stop the stress. It just causes a different sort of stress. So we're back to the question of how can we reduce the stress on the Fox.


One thing we are convinced about is that less visits to the Pub would help. It's an eight mile drive there & back, & now that the Fox is driving once more he is aware of just how tiring that drive can be. While we are there, we usually spend time with PD. At times I think we almost assume the role of carers for PD as he tries to cope with his depressive illness. Certainly being with others does require a surprising amount of effort. Some of the time I'm convinced we would both benefit more if we'd just stayed at home & maybe had a nap, at least taken it easy. Certainly it would give us more time to get other, essential, chores done such as food shopping.

As I said the other day, I at present feel pretty shattered. At least part of it was the somewhat later than planned meal on Monday. Although it was nice to see friends & to have no cooking & washing up to do, that extra lateness has taken a toll on both of us. We're both feeling very, very tired. We're supposed to be going out for a meal on Thursday with PD & his wife Lin, Den & Fran. The table isn't even booked until 7.30pm & we're beginning to think this is just asking for trouble as far as our stamina is concerned. The meal is supposed to be going to be something special. A chef from the renowned Sharrow Bay Hotel is cooking & it is in aid of CancerCare, a good cause. But we're beginning to think we would be wiser to back out of it, much as we would like to go.

Neither the Fox nor I are very good at just relaxing. I wish we knew the answer. I suspect that taking things a bit easier would help us both, even if we can't exactly relax, put our feet up, do nothing, & feel happy. I long ago came to the conclusion, as far as I was concerned, the secret is to focus on those things which really give you pleasure & satisfaction, & let the rest pass you by. Other people can do those things for you if they're really necessary, but more often than not they're not that necessary at all. One thing's for certain - we've got to get a better balance, for both our sakes.