The family meet-up

We're back from our trip down to Stoke & my aunt's funeral.

We stayed at a Toby Inn. It turned out quite successful. The bedroom was basic but clean, & remarkably spacious, allowing plenty of turning area for the wheelchair. A proper wet room with seat in the bathroom & grab rails everywhere. Breakfast was continental rather than cooked, but there was plenty of it. At £49.95 who can't complain. Next door was the bar & carvery area, where we had a good but inexpensive meal, & drinks cheaper than at our local pubs. There was even a bottle of wine for just £6.99!

We realised how well we had done when we went to the reception after the services. It was at a fairly posh hotel with all manner of leisure facilities - swimming pool, gym, beauty therapies etc. Yet when I asked for the disabled loo, I had to use the one in the disabled bedroom in the hotel part. There was very little space there. I couldn't turn the wheelchair around in the bathroom without removing the footplates! And the shower was over the bath. Presumably if we'd stayed there, any disabled person using the bar etc would have had to traipse through my bedroom to use that toilet! From the standard of hotel generally, I suspect we would have had to pay nearer £100 for that privilege.

The actual funeral services were much more satisfactory. There was a religious service at the local Methodist church Ivy had attended regularly for years, followed by a brief committal service at the crematorium. The priest who took the services knew Ivy & that fact was reflected in all he said about her. Indeed he'd visited her in hospital a day or two before she died. It was difficult to imagine my very gentle fun-loving caring aunt as the munitions maker making guns during the Second World War, much easier to imagine her dancing away with my Uncle Chris. Above all, it was a joyous service in which we were all encouraged to remember & appreciate the good times spent in Ivy's company, her love of life, of family & friends, & of God.

From our point of view it was nice to meet up with family. It was the first time I'd met my Aunt Flo & her son, John. Or, at least, it was the first time I'd seen Les' part of the family since my Cousin Pat's wedding in 1965. I remember my Uncle Les on that occasion but that's it. But then I was only 11. I remember on that occasion, & at the memorial for my paternal grandmother the previous year, meeting lots of previously unknown faces, either being introduced to them as Aunt this, Uncle that, or total strangers commenting "Oh, so you're Arthur's little girl." I was just overwhelmed by the sheer number of people & took very few of them in. It's the problem with very large families & my father's was certainly large. Still it's nice to meet them now, in smaller doses, & to get to know & love them. I just wish it could be on more cheery occasions than funerals. I even suggested that my Cousin Pat should persuade her daughter, Donna, to invite the whole family for the christening party for the twins she's expecting in October! But she suspects Donna would prefer the smaller party she had when her other child, Sylvia, was born.

We returned home last night, exhausted. The release of tension now both funerals are over is great. I suspect too it is partially we'd let go of some of our everyday worries while we were away. I almost feel as though we'd been away for a week or so, not just the one night.

Now is the time to pick up life again & get on with living it.

And let's hope there will be no more funerals for a while.