Doom laden

I'm having a black day today. I suppose it began when I woke up with a desperate urge to burst into tears. Quite why I have no idea. Is it the delayed effect of two funerals for two much loved people in one week? Is it the result of having had a rather disturbing dream about my parents & brother, all now dead? Is it just the fact it is a very dark morning? Or is it just depression re-emerging again, without any specific cause? Whatever it is, it has left me feeling very unsettled & down, not my usual perky self.

I've tried to get myself going as the morning's gone on. I've boned & diced a half shoulder of lamb. I went to get the spinach for the curry out of the fridge. At first I thought I must have put it somewhere else. Then I discovered a very soggy slimy bag. It was perfectly fine on Tuesday, so I didn't bother checking or buying any fresh yesterday when we were at the shops. I'm telling myself it doesn't matter. It's not irredeemable. We're off to the dentist come lunchtime so we can easily buy some more while we're out. The Fox I'm sure will give me a hand cooking the curry in the afternoon. He may even decide to do it himself. But it has left me still feeling doom-laden, awaiting the next mishap of the day. I'll be glad when today is over & maybe things can start to pick up again.

Meanwhile I should maybe go & have that right good cry. Maybe it will get something out of my system.