Fashion dilemma

It's a dark morning today. The world is wet. The rain falls steadily.

At last we know when the funeral will be - a week on Monday. I always hate this limbo time, a time of waiting, unable to let go, haunted by memories. It is only after the funeral you can get on with the business of re-building & getting on with your life.

I find myself wondering what to wear. The last time I'd seen Little B he had complimented me on what I was wearing. He hadn't often done this, so I thought it was an appropriate outfit to wear to his funeral in memory of him. Now we hear that in his will, he stipulates no black & to dress casually. The outfit has a black background, even though there is scarlet & twinkle to cheer it. I suppose now I had better decide on something else, out of respect to his wishes. But what?

Much as I can understand a stipulation against black ties, this dress code bugs me. I often wear black as I feel smart in it. One of the most chic outfits ever designed was Chanel's classic, the little black dress.

And surely your attire tends to reflect something of yourself, your personality & mood on a particular day, not the personality of the deceased. If black feels right, then black you should be entitled to wear.

I hope when my time comes, mourners will come in whatever they feel comfortable in. They're welcome in black or a whole kaleidoscope of colours, in jeans or a smart suit, just don't feel obliged to wear black. And I hope, whatever they wear, they will celebrate my life in their hearts & remember me with love.