Yesterday I listened to Jenni Murray's description of observing a mastectomy, an operation she herself underwent not so long ago - "Ruthless and Brilliant" on BBC Radio 4. I couldn't help thinking of my own experiences of having cancer & an op to solve the problem, in my case a hysterectomy.
At one point she talked about the difficulty of telling family about the diagnosis. Her particular worry was telling her mother. Fortunately for Jenni, her mother died before the necessity had become unavoidable. I couldn't help thinking how my brother had died as I waited for the final tests before confirmation of the diagnosis & the need for the op. Jenni went on to talk about the strain of both coping with her own ill-health as well as a grieving father. I felt this was very much my situation. My father was broken by the death of my brother. I don't think he ever fully recovered from it. It certainly didn't help when he feared he would lose his daughter too.
I couldn't help thinking over this coincidence. It never ceases to amaze me how troubles never seem to come singly. There seems to a whole rash of problems. Sometimes I think it is a reflection of your own mental state & inability to cope. If you weren't so stressed, other problems would pass unnoticed, possibly never even acknowledged as being problems, just taken in your stride. Though in these instances the problems did occur at the same time, with no apparent connection or causality. They cannot be described as the result of mental outlook. I say "apparent causality" in that I know there is a suggestion that cancer flares up in the presence of stress. But certainly in my case, there was no reason to anticipate my brother's death. The evening before, I spoke to him on the phone. He was tired after going back to work a bit early after a bout of flu. He just never woke up the next morning. Just coincidence.
Life works in mysterious ways.
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