Exhaustion

If you've already read the Fox's blog you will know how exhausted we both are. All this decision-making, waiting around & invasions of work people has taken its toll, not to mention 2 funerals & a friend in hospital. At last we can see the end, but that means, as we let go of the adrenalin we've been pumping to keep us going, reduces, we're hit by a wall of exhaustion.

Some time ago, I realised that overtiredness like this has two adverse effects on me. The first is that the tension I've been under is physical as well as emotional which means my pains hurt all the more. However, I'm not aware of that until I start to relax, as adrenalin is the world's best painkiller. In relaxing I therefore get struck by a wall of pain.

The second is similar. While tense I keep going. But when I start to relax, it's very easy to end up feeling very depressed, even suicidal. So far I've not got to that stage, but I am aware it's not far away & I'm having to resist the urge to just surrender. This being so, the Fox has decided as much as possible I ought to have a few days of doing nothing much, except catch up on sleep if I can & distract myself with jigsaws etc until I've got my energy level back to something like normal.

So it is, that he is cooking again today, even though it's Monday. He's doing a spicy tortilla lasagne. Contrary from what you might think from the title, there is no lasagne in the meal. Instead there are layers of tortillas interleaved with the spicy minced beef & kidney bean sauce. Should be good. I've peeled some spuds to have with it but that is all I'm doing for today.

Next I'm going to look on the net to see if I can find some tablecloths to embroider. Most of our old ones seem rather large for our new dining table. Then I'm off to the Bavarian Alps to jig a bit.