Holiday companions

We were at the golf club yesterday, talking to our cruising friends. Among other things the subject of holidaying with friends came up. We were all agreed. It’s a risky business, often the cause of the break-up of a good friendship.

It is a difficult problem. It can work well. We have a friend who regularly came to stay with us. We even had a couple of holidays in Scotland with him. There were the odd niggles I’m sure on all sides but on the whole it worked well. A good time was had by all & I now look back at those times with unalloyed affection.

However, we have, too, been on holidays which have involved a lot of frustration as we’ve all wanted different things from the holiday. That wouldn’t have mattered if we could have all accepted that we parted from each other some of the time to do our own exploring.

This has particularly affected me since disability has become a factor in my life. Normally friends only see me well, for a few hours a day. They don’t see me when I’m in a lot of pain or when I’m overtired as I just don’t go out to see them. However, when you are on holiday there is no getting around the fact I flag out & need to take things slower. I end up feeling bad about holding everyone else up; they feel frustration about not doing whatever they want but at the same time feel guilty about just leaving me to rest up a bit.

No, the only way I would consider going on holiday with friends/family for any length of time, is if it was clearly understood beforehand that we each go our separate ways if that’s what we want to do & just join up for meals or part of the day.

Maybe it’s just as we are getting older we are getting more set in our ways, less flexible in adjusting to the needs of other people.

Maybe what’s more surprising is that we can still enjoy each other’s company all our waking hours. Indeed we positively relish it. Though it has to be admitted we do each appreciate a bit of own time, time to do our own thing, to think a bit & sort out our ideas. We can happily sit together & read our separate books. We both want to see the same sort of thing. I can see Vienna as a visit of art galleries, a cathedral, a palace, & general interesting corners. The lake part of our trip will be relaxing with a book looking across the lake, or trips to the local villages & to explore the other nearby mountains & lakes by car. It should be good.