Sleep at last

At last I've managed it. What's it? Sleep.

For some time I've mentioned just how tired both of us are. It's been a stressful year with the new kitchen and the long illness & eventual demise of MK, not to mention the deaths of our friend Dave C & our neighbour Geoff, both just 56. I've not been sleeping well. I rarely do these days between pain, restless legs & burning knees. Somewhere in the mix is a certain amount of mental turmoil. I have the odd sleeping pill when I'm getting too tired, but I've been determined to make the packet last until the hols. I don't want to become addicted to them &, on the whole, I don't find drug-induced sleep refreshing anyhow. It's just the time comes when it becomes essential.

On Friday one of the reasons I went to see the doctor was to get fresh supplies. I knew I had to get some sleep before we went away & I was on the last couple in the packet. Now I've got a new prescription I duly took a pill on Friday night. Unfortunately I was just so tired that even that pill wasn't sufficient to knock me out. Instead I woke up several times, though less than usual.

Last night I tried again. The pill took ages to have much effect, but when it did I was out like a light. Total oblivion. I woke this morning, very heavy. I told myself to take my time. There's nothing to rush for. I'm sure God will forgive me if I don't get to church. Eventually I emerged around 9am, late for me.

Now I'm properly awake. I feel more with it than I have done for months. I'm sure by the time I've done my Sunday chores I'll once more feel shattered but hopefully now I'll be able to drop off naturally. I know it sounds silly but there just seems to come a point where your very tiredness seems to prevent you sleeping. At that point I reach for the pills. Maybe this time I left it too long.