Getting help

We toodle down to our local village pub.

Among our friends is a disabled lady who is going through a bad patch at the moment. Her sense of balance is very poor & she’s lost much of the musculature of her legs, with the result she regularly falls. She’s getting increasingly frightened of those falls.

Her partner, & carer, was in the pub yesterday. I was relieved to hear he had taken in my suggestion when we last saw him last week, that they should get onto the council for some help. That very morning an OT (occupational therapist) had been round to assess her & her needs. Hopefully something will be done to help her, & him.

Part of the problem is their home is a listed property. This means they are not allowed to have grab rails or a ramp to help her negotiate the doorstep & get in and out of her home. It would spoil the historic authenticity of the building. I can’t help thinking I would move. She desperately needs a bungalow or flat, so she doesn’t have to tackle stairs & she can have adaptions made to suit her needs. She, however, loves her house, & the character & eccentricity that comes with a 17^th century house, & wants to stay. So this last week she’s never been upstairs to go to bed (she’s using the couch in the lounge) or the bathroom (bedpans & strip wash at the kitchen sink).

The OT has suggested she should have a wheelchair which they would organise for her, free on the NHS. She’s reluctant to do so. She feels it would be giving in to her illness. I assured her partner that a wheelchair should be regarded as a liberation, not a confinement. Without mine my life would be infinitely poorer – no holidays, little social life. By all means walk as much as you can for as long as you can, but any longer distances use the chair & get on with life. Our friend has been given a static bike which her partner encourages her to use to maintain some muscle in her legs – he has to stand nearby to prop her up if necessary when her balance goes.

I hope the few changes that are being offered to them will help make their life easier. And with disability making life easy is essential. You have enough problems as a result of your medical condition without adding to them by not using aids, claiming benefits etc. you’re entitled to & which can make life so much easier, more satisfying & worthwhile.