Happiness

AS we drove over to the golf club yesterday, we found ourselves talking over the idea of happiness. The concept, & possible government efforts to promote it, had been raised in “You and Yours” at lunchtime on Radio 4. We’d both had listened to the programme. The conversation continued at the club

Our first thought is that there is a big difference between happiness & contentment. The former is far more dynamic, the latter quieter.

The real problem is how can the government intervene. Life inevitably brings its ups & downs. Inevitably you are unhappy when someone you love dies. Nothing, no amount of money, can change that. The most that can be done is to finance bereavement counselling services & that happens, at least patchily, now.

Equally ill-health, age & disability, limit one’s ability to do all that one may wish. No amount of money will make everyone be able to live as full & happy life as they might wish. However, good medical & social care services do help.

We also couldn’t help concluding that what conduces to one person’s happiness is not the same as what conduces to another person’s. Being sent to spend a couple of hours playing I Spy in a virtually empty room with one other person, as happened once to me courtesy of Social Services, does little to improve my happiness. The taxi ride there & back was the best part of the afternoon!

All this had come about due to the extent of loneliness, & the consequent cost in ill-health, in this country has come to the fore in the news at the moment. It has been suggested it would be suggested it would be cheaper to get people out, socialising, being part of the community. What doesn’t seem to be acknowledged is that sometimes the loneliest place of all can be in a crowd.

I am quite convinced that one does have to adapt to sustain any sense of happiness/contentment. Becoming disabled has meant that many sources of pleasure have become unfeasible. No longer can I hope to climb the Lakeland fells. No longer can I work, paid or otherwise, & get the satisfaction & feeling of self- worth, that that can bring. However, I can still enjoy my books, jigsaws, garden & all its wildlife. I can still support my friends by phone even if I can’t pop round to physically help them as much as I once would have done. I can still use my brain & discover new worlds, new ideas.

I suppose we are lucky in that our greatest source of happiness is just being together. Even after nearly 40 year of marriage, I still get a thrill when I see the Fox when he first gets up or comes in when he’s been out. At that moment contentment transforms into happiness.