Obituaries

As I sorted my washing out yesterday, I half-listened to Radio 4. My attention was caught by “The Listening Project” when two people talked, one an undertaker, one a journalist, both now retired. The latter commented on the death of the obituary.

When he was a young journalist on a small provincial paper, one of his regular tasks was to collect the list of those who had died in the course of a week, talk to those who mourned the deceased & then write a brief obituary. People were keen to talk about their loved ones, somehow affirming the latter’s value. The journalist came to feel he was almost doing a social service in talking to these grieving people. In the course of it he learnt that most people had something of interest that they had done, though for some you had to dig deeper than others. None were boring.

I mention this because one of the things I used to value about our parish magazine was that the then vicar always wrote at least a paragraph about those in the parish who had died that month. I found it fascinating to read. It always showed an appreciation of the life no longer lived. This section of the magazine has now died a death with the change of priest & magazine editor.

These days the journalist reckons you get told not to disturb the privacy of the mourners. And yes, you can see in the case of the famous they maybe do get inundated with journalists at the door, on the phone, pestering. However, most ordinary people are pleased to talk about their loved ones. I sometimes think that’s what attending the wake after a funeral is about, as stories of the deceased are exchanged.

Proper obituaries are now only for the rich & famous. I’m sure you will find ones for Fidel Castro, Terry Wogan, Mohammed Ali etc. But surely lesser known people live just as interesting & valuable lives. It’s just that their lives did not have such a big impact & influence on the world nationally or internationally. But they did influence the lives of those who knew them, of that I’m certain, & often for the good.