Contrary by nature

There are times when I’m struck by how contrary I am. Whenever I’m forbidden to do anything I instantly want to do it.

Much of yesterday I spent doing a jigsaw depicting chocolate adverts. I instantly fancied having some chocolate. I resisted the urge to rush off to the shops to buy some. Tuesday is usually our day for food shopping but yesterday we didn’t go as the Fox is still ailing.

Today I’m off to the hospital for this scan. The instructions clearly state I’m to eat nothing or drink anything with fat in it (such as milky tea) for 5 hours before. I was up early to make sure I had my breakfast before those 5 hours began. From now on I expect my tum will rumble in the hope of filling & I will be desperately thirsty. At least there’s no ban on water. I have looked at some of the soft drinks we have in. All say they have traces of fat. Much as I suspect that is the companies being overly cautious in case some fat has got on their machinery & so into their drinks, I suppose that trace means I shouldn’t have any those drinks either. So it is water. The stupid part of it is that I wouldn’t normally eat or drink much from now until the afternoon. It’s just the knowing I can’t have them that makes them so desirable.

It is that same contrariness that makes me so eager to discover if my pancreas has now reduced sufficiently for me to be able to once more have a little alcohol, just a bit of wine with meals even if I have less than I did before the attack of pancreatitis I had last year. It’s not that I’ve ever drunk vast quantities of alcohol. Even the hospital acknowledges the pancreatitis is not the result of excessive alcohol intake but rather due to long term use of NSAIDs (Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs) to control my pain levels.

It all goes along with the urge to walk on the grass when I see the “Keep off the grass” sign. The sign almost acts as an invitation to walk on the grass, something I would never have thought of doing if it hadn’t been for the sign.