The Need to Dream

We’re down at the village pub. Early on we discover our usual Monday/Tuesday afternoon barman will be leaving us early in January. He invited us to his leaving party. He’s off back to Poland to set up a business with his brother selling clothing. We’ll be sorry to see him go, but it has to be admitted a bright linguist graduate, he is under-utilised as a barman. He loves England but misses his family.

Along comes Howie, a regular. He is going on about the need to dream. He’s dreaming of his holidays. He’s off to Tunisia as soon as 2013 arrives. At the moment he’s finalising details of his touring holiday along the west coast with Scotland – we remember our touring holiday along the same coast with a dear friend 30 odd years ago – in the spring. After that he’s looking forward to a trip to Tenerife in the autumn. Just by way of variation he’s also looking forward to his son’s trip back to Old Blighty & this part of the world soon. His son lives in Brisbane these days so this is a rare treat for Howie.

Come the evening we’re wondering if lack of dreams is part of our lowness at the moment. It’s difficult to make plans, to dream, when you have ill-health hanging over you. Until we know the results of the MRI scan, due just after Christmas, it’s difficult to know what we can realistically plan, or even hope to do even if we don’t achieve it. As soon as we get a sense that nothing urgently needs to be done or is likely to adversely affect us, we’re hoping for a holiday in the sun, the sort of holiday where you’re pampered with everything done for you.

We did question whether there were any projects we want to achieve around our home this coming year. The house itself we feel we’ve more or less got it as we want it. Obviously there will be the routine redecoration to be done but nothing is urgent at the moment.  We keep thinking we would like to have our back garden redesigned to make it more accessible & easier to look after. And with that thought we wonder yet again whether a conservatory or veranda area would be a good idea. The idea of a covered area where, in summer, we could sit out & possibly eat, even if it is raining, has a certain appeal. Just being surrounded by all that light pouring through the glass of a conservatory appeals. The only disadvantage of a conservatory is that it would have to be attached to our kitchen/laundry room which would mean it would be pointing due south, & we know just how hot that can be even in the shade of a  brick-surrounded & therefore comparatively sheltered, room.

It has to be admitted we’re both feeling the years – the effect of ill-health & worrying about it I suspect. In a curious way, I suspect we’ve had a very early retirement without the health, or until recently the money, to enjoy it. Life goes slowly, of necessity as that’s the only pace I can manage.

What we need are dreams to bring colour & joy, to give us something to look forward to with eager anticipation, to lift us out of the drudgery of the mundane, of health & benefit worries. Maybe 2013 will let us dream once more.