Disability & a child's death

After ordering our new kitchen, we adjourned to the Pub to celebrate. After finishing the crossword, I idly glanced through the rest of the pages of the Times supplement. I noticed there was an article on disability. I thought I'd glance through it just in case there's something new I ought to know.

I was shocked to discover that parents are complaining to the BBC because one of the presenters on CBeebies is disabled, missing part of one arm. Apparently they feel this will terrify their little darlings. Such disgusting sights should be avoided. I couldn't help thinking the children probably would accept the sight as curious, but essentially normal. It is the parents who have the bad reaction. And ultimately the children need to understand that people come in all variety of shapes & colours but that does not reduce their value as people. Difference can be beautiful.

I know how often young children have stared curiously at me when I'm in my wheelchair. (In Australia I even had some kangaroos coming up to investigate this curious creature who moved so swiftly but had no legs!) Parents often try to shield their offspring from me & apologise for their staring. But I really cannot blame the children. After all, they see a woman, at their eye level, with a friendly smile on her face most of the time, speeding around on a strange machine.

The sooner adults accept that disability is for many people a norm, & no more ugly than a wart on your nose, black skin, red hair etc, the sooner we might live in a society where there is less prejudice against disabled people. And where better to start on this education process than by letting young children realise that there may be reasons why people are lacking arms for example, but that does not inherently make them less beautiful, valuable or lovable than people with two arms. They're just a bit different, &, in some ways, special. Well done BBC.

Disability came home in a different way yesterday with the death of Ivan Cameron. My heart goes out to his parents. I rejoiced to hear party politics were put on one side at least for one day. I felt Gordon Brown for once spoke from his heart in saying how devastating the loss of a beloved child is to a parent.

I remember how devastated my father was after my brother's sudden demise at the age of 49. My brother had a serious congenital heart problem so the family had known at any time he could die. His childhood was an anxious time for my parents. As he grew into a man, I think we all began to relax a bit & think that he would live a long life. Oh, he had his months in hospital from time to time & anxiety once more surfaced, but most of the time his health was reasonably good. It made his death all the more shocking when it happened. I'd even spoken to him on the phone the evening before & he was feeling fine. He just never woke up the next day. My father from then on was a broken man, not helped by the fact I was then facing an op for cancer so he feared losing us both. I don't think he ever recovered. He himself died 18 months later, a shrunken still grieving man.