Bad news day

Yesterday was bad news day.

It started early when I rang the Department of Works and Pensions (DWP) to check if my second appeal had been received as I’ve had no acknowledgment. After waiting 15mins, I finally got through to be told none was on the computer file. They would ring back later when they’ve had chance to check the post.

Sure enough, later in the morning they rang. The letter hadn’t arrived. It didn’t matter they assured me as I couldn’t have a second tribunal as it was regarded as all part of the one application on which I am already appealing. I pointed out I had filled in a second form & filled it in differently from the first form. Surely a different set of evidence would therefore be placed in front of the tribunal. It makes no difference they said. They had already reviewed the decision on the first application & had not changed their opinion.

I couldn’t help wondering why they had enclosed the booklet on how to appeal with the second decision if it isn’t available to me. I’ve even read the act putting the legislation into force in which it specifically states a person can reapply at any time. Surely that is what is what I had done in filling in a second form.

The chap went on to suggest that even if I was dying with cancer I would not be entitled to being part of the Support group. I pointed out I accepted that some of my conditions are hopefully temporary, but the underlying condition, the reason why I am unable to work,  is a deteriorating one that can only worsen. My chances of ever being able to look for work are nil.

He also added the only thing that would change the decision is if I can get written evidence from the various medical people involved in my treatment, confirming my prognosis of continued deterioration. I just don’t see it’s fair to put pressure on my GP etc to get such letters. Or to waste my time & their time, going to see the various hospital specialists to obtain such letters, when they could use that time better treating others who need help. And I certainly don’t see why I should have to pay for all those letters, especially when at the end of the day I suspect they will just be ignored on the basis that I’ve put undue pressure on the various doctors, therapists etc.

Whenever I tell people of my situation, or tell them I am now expected to indulge in work related activity, they stare at me in horror. Even the DWP’s staff at the Jobcentre reacted similarly. However, the people who make the decisions never talk to me directly, only through forms & letters. They don’t see the days it’s taken to fill those forms, write those letters, or the toll it takes on me.

As far as I can see, it’s all about saving them money. If they want shot of me, I wish they would just use the Athenian government’s method of getting rid of Socrates. I would drink the hemlock draught willingly. But I’m told that’s just my depression talking & the NHS is there to keep me going whether I want to or not.

As if all that wasn’t bad enough, come lunchtime, the phone goes again. This time it’s one of my cousins ringing to tell me that her sister, another of my cousins, has been told she has a lump in her lungs, almost certainly cancerous. She will have to have a course of chemo & radiotherapy to reduce the lump as a bear minimum. And that’s on top of my cousin Ann having treatment for her cancer. Ann is only just out of hospital having had to have two pints a blood as she had become so anaemic. Even with the new blood she still is very breathless, possibly not helped by the fact she has a “patch” on her chest. As for the cousin who rang, she is having problems with her kidney, her high blood pressure, her heart (she had a massive bypass a couple of years ago) and her eyes.

Maybe after all, I’m doing better than some. We will be able to continue to afford to live reasonably comfortably even if our income is virtually cut off for a while. The Fox will be 65 in another couple of year so we will be able to get his pension then. It just means the state is likely to have to pay for our care as we grow older, as we will have had to spend our savings on living now, rather than on our care needs later. I can’t help feeling sorry for those in a worse financial position.

One down, another gained

Well that’s one less clinic to visit at the hospital. I’ve once more been dismissed. There will be the inevitable 3-monthly mammogram, but that’s it.

Just as well. Yesterday seemed like a real waste of a day. It took us 45 mins to get through the Lancaster rush hour traffic to get to my 9.30am appointment. We were out before 10 & on our way home.

I was given the option of another appointment if it would reassure me in some way. Personally I think I’d just as soon wait until I see a symptom that worries me. I know I got in quick enough when that happened last year.

I got home to see the post had arrived. For me there is a letter from the surgery. At my annual check-up last month, my blood pressure had been high. They apparently reckon I need ambulatory blood pressure monitoring. Hopefully they will find out it is a case of white coat syndrome. I really don’t need them to find anything else wrong with me. As it is I dread to think what the premiums are likely to be for our holiday insurance. I’m sure they will have shot up with my pancreatitis & breast cyst problem.

By the time I’d recovered from the hospital trip & my letter, I felt little inclination to do much. Fortunately we had something for dinner that required little preparation. I had a lazy afternoon jigging.

And to think I’m also supposed to be looking for work!!!! Who do they think they are kidding?

Pie time

The other day, we watched “Great British Menu”, the Irish heat, on BBC2. Since then we’ve been haunted by the idea of Chris’ Cowboy Pie. It just looked so full of good things. So today I’m making another pie for us. Mine is much simpler, a Chicken & Sweetcorn Pie. Hopefully it will satisfy our craving for a good pie.

The idea of something warming & filling has a great attraction. We are once more in sub zero temperatures. It was -10˚C when I looked first thing this morning. An icy blast blows around. Yesterday flurries of snow kept falling but never more than enough to give a white gossamer thin layer on everything. The sky turned bright blue then & the snow melted once again. So far today I’ve not seen any snow falling but there is certainly ice around.

I always worry when spring seems to be coming so early. To my mind the worst months of winter tend to be February & March. I may have temporarily have left my woolly hat & boots off, but I never put them away. Sure enough they came into use once more yesterday & will be used once more today when we go out. I suspect the heating may well be going on all day once more too.

Tomorrow will be hospital day again. This time it’s the Breast Clinic. Hopefully it will be the last time for a while. I’m not entirely confident as there has been some further leakage since our stay in Kendal last month. However it didn’t look bloody, more creamy. I mentioned it to my care worker yesterday & she commented it was probably just my hormones are a bit rampant. I suspect she may be right. I gather the pancreas regulates the excretion of hormones & since my pancreas isn’t behaving normally due to the pancreatitis I suppose hormone production is likely to be a bit off too. I know my body doesn’t seem to be behaving normally yet. I’ve not had the severe pains that landed me in hospital for a while. These days it’s just the odd twinge & rumble of discontent. Still fingers crossed for tomorrow.

Italy here we come

The holiday’s all booked. Yesterday I finally managed to sort out the flights to Venice to fit in with our lake hotel reservation. With the same company, I organised a hotel in Venice itself. As it is a travel organisation specifically dealing with the needs of disabled people, I’m confident the hotel will be accessible, as will getting to the vaperetto (water bus) stop for getting around Venice itself. We were somewhat surprised to discover the difference in the price of the flight between returning on the Wednesday (£580) & the Thursday (£350) is over £200. We decided we might as well spend that £230 on an extra night in Venice. It’s cheaper for one thing and I don’t expect we will ever go to Venice again so we might as well have a bit longer to look around.

Now it’s all booked, I feel I can afford to get excited about the holiday. It’s longer than we intended but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The area around Lake Molveno where we’re staying looks fabulous. From the map it looks as though the Dolomites rear up just behind the village. The hotel itself is overlooks the lake. It should be beautiful. The hotel sounds friendly, just what we like.

As for Venice .… It’s a city like no other. By all reports it’s much more accessible than you would think. Now we’re staying that extra night, we should even have time to go over to one of the islands, to Murano to see the glass blowing & museum, for example.

Now I have to get down to the more depressing task of getting some insurance quotes. I suspect they will only have gone up due to my pancreatitis. I will once more feel like we’re a pair of old crocks. If the quotes are too high, I suspect we will just not bother with insurance.

Then there’s the more exciting task of reading about the area we are visiting & sorting out the sights we most want to see. I usually go with a long list & hope to see a few of the places. Everything very much depends on how we feel on a day & what the weather is like.

It all sounds very enjoyable. I feel we can look forward to coming back refreshed after a good break.

On its way

The recent days of blue skies has definitely brought the onrush of spring. Whenever we go out, we stop to look at the front garden. We wonder at the clusters of purples, golds and whites that are the crocuses opened up to greet the sunshine. The snowdrops are still in full flower, too. They all close up again as the evening chill arrives. The first fresh green fronds are appearing on the fennel. Soon it will be covered in fluffy green fronds.

The back garden is dominated by the spring time activities of the birds. Once more the blue tits are hanging around the hedge outside the kitchen window. The hedge, a series of leylandia kept at shoulder height, dead in some parts – drowned in the part that is flooded more often than not – is the tits’ last stopping place before the dash to the nest box on the laundry room wall.

The blackbirds are becoming much more territorial once again, filling the dawn & twilight hours with mellifluous song. Skirmishes arise when birds encounter one another, especially when there’s a lady around.

Winter’s not entirely gone. We still have heavy frosts at night, whitening cars, roofs and gardens, but during the day it seems much milder. I’ve even turned the central heating off during the day. You still definitely need it on at night!

I always find spring uplifting. I think it is to do with all the signs of new life, helped by the longer, milder, hours of daylight. Possibly, too, that some heavier garments can be discarded, no longer the need for boots & woolly hats. Life itself seems lighter, brighter, more optimistic.

Today is once more overcast but it remains dry. I half-expect to hear we’re into drought conditions once more! It’s not rained for over a week! I’ve had to regularly fill the bird bath with water for our avian friends. I didn’t do that often last year.

Under way

We're off to Italy! The money has finally gone out of our account, so it all looks set. As a result yesterday, we toodled along to the travel agents yesterday for a brochure featuring Venice hotels. We also went along to the library & found some guidebooks to give us some ideas of places to see if we should feel inclined to venture out of our hotel beyond the nearby lakeside walk & the village it is set in.

But first I’ve decided to appeal the DWP’s (Department of Works & Pensions) latest decision on my claim for Employment Support Allowance. I don’t trust them to automatically change the later decision in accord with the tribunal’s findings. For that matter the first tribunal may not decide in my favour so a second tribunal is a second chance of success. I did change the form the second time round. I don’t get the impression the DWP did anything more than check the list of medical conditions were the same as previously, then confirmed the previous decision. A second tribunal, with different people, will look thoroughly at the statements in the second form & that may tip things in my favour. I’m working on the theory if they do agree with me first time round then I can always back out of the second tribunal; if not, I have that second chance of winning. If I leave it until I get the first decision, or the DWP doesn’t do as it says it will, it would be too late to put in an appeal. It’s a case of a belt & braces job.

Then I’m going to look at Venice hotels, to decide which one is the most appealing. One thing has already struck me. Most of the hotels suggest you can get a water taxi to San Marco’s Piazza from the airport, then walk to the hotel, over bridges etc. Even a short distance would be difficult with me in a wheelchair & suitcases to drag along. Even a private water taxi doesn’t look that easy. Could I get into one? Would the landing stage at the hotel be such that I could disembark at it & push up slope/steps? Would any bridges be such I could cross? There seems to be a lot to consider.

But none of that distracts from the relief & joy that we now know we’re off to Italy in May.

Once we’ve sorted the Venice hotel & flights out, the next task will be the travel insurance. I might as well at least get some quotations, whether we go ahead with them or not, And I don’t see any point in not admitting pre-existing conditions & so invalidating any insurance bought.

Here we go!?

Well we think we’ve booked a hotel in Italy. I say think as we’ve had no message of confirmation either by post or e-mail. Despite the fact we paid with a card there is no sign of any moneys being taken out. This has left us feeling a little uncertain, especially when we’ve had so many difficulties with Saga so far.

Saga is only able to book the hotel, as we want to go from a northern airport, not Gatwick as they do. We’re reluctant to book the flights until we have had confirmation about the hotel.

The flights from Manchester only go to Verona on Sundays & Wednesdays, not the Monday the hotel booking starts from. Now we’re contemplating whether it would be better to fly to Venice, even though it is a bit further to the lake area, and maybe having a couple of nights in Venice itself. That way we could fly on the Monday to Italy. The flight back would mean setting off at some pre-dawn hour. If we stayed a night or two in Venice itself it would mean we could have the long drive on the Monday, see a bit of Venice, somewhere I’ve never been but always dreamed of going, leave that hotel at a more reasonable hour as it would only be a short distance to go to the airport on the Wednesday, or whatever day we chose.

Now we’re looking into hotels in Venice. There prices are a bit off-putting – exorbitantly high but that’s the price of staying somewhere as unique & such a tourist attraction as Venice.

But first we await the confirmation of the Saga booking. That could be cancelled & money refunded, unlike flights.

Meanwhile we’ve also got to face the dilemma of travel insurance. Saga insists we must have insurance. After last year’s difficulties, especially when we know I’ve had yet more health issues this last year, makes us wonder what to do. If we declare our pre-existing conditions, the premiums are likely to shoot sky high. If we don’t, we will get an inexpensive insurance, sufficient to satisfy the holiday company, but which is invalidated by or pre-existing conditions. In other words we would be paying for nothing except to keep the travel company happy. Much as I appreciate the company feels the need to advise that travel insurance is desirable, I don’t think they should make it a condition of the holiday. Admittedly Saga doesn’t ask to see your insurance document or even ask for the policy number, so I don’t see how they will know whether we’ve got some or not.

It’s the principle that gets to me. We had decided that, as we are covered medically by our EHIC card, we were prepared to take the risk of going without insurance. We don’t expect any accident to happen & if they did we would just pay for it at the time.

This policy regarding insurance is not just the case with Saga. We were also thinking of going to France later in the year. That company also has the same policy & even demand insurance details; otherwise you must buy insurance from them.

Ooh it gets to me! We’ll think further on this one.