More worries

You know that old saying about it never rains but it pours. To add to our problems, I've just got a letter from the hospital to say that I've failed my initial breast screening & will have to have further investigations. Just what I need at this time! As if we didn't have enough to worry about!

Worried

It's a very busy time. I'm trying to sort out some extra help for us for the immediate. I'm not sure how long we will need that help or for how long. So much depends on the Fox's recovery. So far I've arranged an hour a week for the next 4 weeks for someone to help with the cleaning. But I'm beginning to be aware of the how great is the toll on me & am wondering if an hour is adequate. 

Yesterday, cooking dinner, I accidentally cut my hand. No great deal you might say, but it was stupid & the result of lack of concentration due to my fatigue. I get very accident prone when I'm overtired. I'm also starting on the popping of painkillers. My immediate conclusion is that for the next few days we'll either have takeaways delivered to the house, or we'll have ready meals which need little more than warming up. We may not enjoy those meals as much as our usual fare but they will keep us fed at the minimum of effort for the time being. If this is going to be a long term situation then we'll maybe think again.

My busyness has primarily been in sorting out social workers, care providers, answering worried calls from friends & family, generally trying to fend off anything that might cause potential extra stress.

Meanwhile the Fox remains washed out, feeling like doing nothing more than lying there. He's now lost his appetite as well. He's getting lots of cramps & his stomach is getting upset - the high level of aspirin he's now on, I wonder. I did drive us up to the surgery yesterday, to collect a repeat prescription. That was it for him - back to lying down again. The only time he really picks up is in the evening. I can't quite decide if that is because he is, & always has been, a night owl, or because he takes the dose of aspirin in the early evening & that is maybe easing symptoms a bit for him, or is it that he just sees me flagging as the night draws on & tries to rally for my sake. Whichever it is I will be relieved when we've had the chance to have a chat to his GP next week. Meanwhile I think I might have a look on-line about strokes & their after effects.

Getting back to normal

Life seems well & truly disrupted. We're trying to get back to some sort of normality, in a quieter, less stressful, way if possible.

Monday was another exciting day at the hospital with a lot of waiting around. We were told to report 9 - 9.30 am, which we duly did. They took one more blood sample. We were then told the scan wouldn't be until 1.45pm. We should go home. We didn't like to ring Lin, PD's wife, again to collect us, especially when it would mean we would barely have time to have some tea before setting off back to Lancaster & the hospital again. So instead, at the hospital's suggestion, we had a bit of a mooch around the city. We did a bit of shopping before heading back. This time it was a push uphill for the Fox. He needed several stops for a bit of a rest. Eventually we got back to the canal & sat a while looking at the canal boats before tackling the last stretch to the hospital. There we had lunch before going for the scan.

All this exertion meant that the Fox was washed out yesterday. He spent most of it in bed, resting if not sleeping. A bit of taking it easy is what he needs.

Meanwhile I tried to get other things sorted out. The bathroom company turned up to check out the finished bathroom & to bring us a huge bouquet of flowers. I think they felt guilty about the stress they'd caused but I tried to reassure them if it hadn't been them it would have been something else. We bore them no hard feelings, though we might take a bit longer to pay them as we had other priorities just at the moment. They understand.


I've also been trying to sort out some extra help in looking after me. Most things the Fox can still do, but the housework is just too much. He needs a bit of a break to give a chance to recover a bit before getting back into the stride of life.


I've also been fending off neighbours & phone calls, all full of well wishes & offers of help. It's good to know so many people care.


As for the Fox, he still doesn't feel right down his left side. He still limps a bit & his left hand hasn't got full strength. However, the hospital did reckon this may well improve. It is early days yet. He's very tired, but then it must have been a great shock to his system. He's mentally trying to adjust to the event & its implications. Personally I'm just relieved to have him home. We can get other people in to do the chores but nobody can replace him. He is very precious & I love him.

Consequences of stress

Yesterday was a long day, as the Fox has already written in his blog. It is sufficient to say it was spent at the hospital after he had a mini stroke. Would you believe the ambulance that came for him couldn't take my wheelchair? I was worried about my own state to drive as I was so anxious about the Fox. Instead I rang Lin, PD's wife, to see if she could take me to the hospital. She duly did. She stayed for a while, leaving PD in charge of cooking the dinner for the grandchildren. She stayed with me a while before going home, after insisting I gave her a ring when I was ready to go home.

So began a long day of waiting. Eventually, after various tests they let the Fox come home. I rang Lin & she hot-paced to Lancaster to collect us. She'd thoughtfully brought us a tub of homemade vegetable soup & some shepherd's pie so we would have a quick meal to warm up. Just as well really as we'd only had a round & a half of sandwiches each all day.

We're off back to the hospital on Monday for further tests. The Fox is not to drive for at least 28 days. Lin has already insisted she will take us in on Monday. Apart from that they've upped his aspirin for the moment & told him to cut down on the alcohol. I can see I'm going to have to do more driving, which will mean less visits to the Pub as I can't be sure of being able to park near enough to the entrance for me to walk in. We'll just have to see how it goes. Neighbours & friends have already offered help if we should need it.

All this, I suspect is the result of stress. He's been getting very worked up about the bathroom, worrying about the effect of that stress on me. It's didn't help me getting that CKD diagnosis last week to add to the worries.

But at least, he looks as though he's settling down again. His body is feeling more like his own again.

It's strange the consequences of stress. I've noticed before how often you can get through the period of stress. It's the relaxing after that causes the problems. In my case it often results in migraine or added knee pain.  In the Fox's case it clearly resulted in this stroke, & is probably likely to do so again in the future.

Still, at least for now, he's home and in not too bad a state. For that I thank God.

A contrast of workmen

Hopefully today will be the last big day in the bathroom. Yesterday the joiner came. He took all day to put a new front on the airing cupboard. It was a long nerve-racking day. There are just some people you feel you are on a different wave-length from, & for me, this joiner was one such. Whatever I said seem to go down wrong. I constantly expected an accident to happen, he seemed to bumble around so much. He was here at 9am & didn't finish until 4.20pm. And at the end of the day the job isn't very satisfactory. The door doesn't close properly. It springs open every time you open the shower-room door. It looks cheap & tatty. But on the other hand another day with this joiner would be more than I could stand.

Today, by contrast, should be a breeze. Kev is back to sort out the ceiling & put up the accessories. Now Kev is a man I'm happy to have again. He just puts his head down & gets on with the job. He appreciates his tea, and my poor jokes. He's considerate, closing the front door when he's working outside to reduce the noise intrusion inside & keep the house warm. I wouldn't hesitate to leave him on his own to get on with things. I would be confident if we wanted to go out that he would remember to lock up behind him & put the key through the letter-box for us. I suspect too, this job will only take a a couple of hours at most, not all day.

But after that all should be about done. The blinds are due on Tuesday. And it's still anyone's guess when the Occupational Therapist will arrive. But once she does, it won't take long to do what she needs to do.

Then our home will once more be OURS!

A couple of visitors

The Fox went off into the surgery to collect my repeat prescription. I waited in the car.

You can imagine my surprise when a visitor came, followed by another. Who was this visitor? A long-tailed tit. They came & sat on the wing mirror, admiring themselves in the mirror. There was none of the aggressive behaviour so many birds show to a mirror image. No, they looked with curiosity and admiration. Then they hopped onto the windscreen wipers. They had a good look in at me, clearly a very curious specimen. They returned to the mirror before flying off back into the hedge & on to the silver birch trees nearby.


I've never really seen long-tailed tits. Having this pair so close was a real treat. It's probably just as well the window was shut otherwise I suspect they would have come in for an investigate.

Meanwhile today, I'm once more back to waiting for workmen. The joiner is coming to fix the airing cupboard door. Kev may also be coming. The new bit of ceiling has arrived. The towel rail, soap dish & glass holder are due to arrive today. He will be installing them all. 

Then we may finally have the place back to normal. All the cleaning things, normally in the bottom of the airing cupboard, can be cleared off the study floor. All we're really waiting for is the Occupational Therapist of whom there is no sign despite my telling them I couldn't have a shower until they'd been. I'm beginning to think I will have to use the garden chair, even though it hasn't got non-slip feet & just take care.

Omodos

 

This is the extravagance of the monastery of Omodos in Cyprus. The brilliance of the gold/gilt doesn't quite come over. Often within the icons some bits, usually faces & hands, are painted, some gold- or silver- plated. the faces of the saints tend to be rather flat, & yet often very serene. It's all quite awesome.

Within the monastery there is a small lace museum. The ladies of the village used to be famed for their lace. The lace here was made with needle & thread, rather than bobbins, as I associate lace-making.

As for the village, that abounds with shops even today, selling tablecloths, cushion covers etc. In many ways it is a bit of a tourist trap, but going on a damp day in spring we were virtually the only tourists there that day. That caused some difficulties. The shops were so quiet that if you stopped to look at the goods on sale, you were instantly pounced upon. I felt literally like a sitting target. There is nothing more likely to stop me looking further or buying!