Bad start

It’s been a bad start to the day. First thing I do on waking is put my fingers in a sticky patch on the upper sheet. I feel around my nightdress to discover a hardened patch there. I open my eyes. The sticky patch is browny red. I’ve obviously leaked through my dressings during the night. The stuff on my nightdress had dried out but on the sheet was still wet.

 

My first port of call was the bathroom with my dressings’ bag. I soon located the leaking area. I thought the best bet was a sort of padded plaster on top of everything else. Pressing the sticky edges down nearly sent my through the ceiling as the lump it covered was just so tender. Still I managed.

 

I then turned my attention to getting dressed & my other ablutions.

 

I was intending to make some Chicken Curry Pancakes for dinner tonight. I couldn’t be bothered. The idea of making them just turns my stomach. Fortunately the Fox had put the meat & stock in the fridge so they should keep until tomorrow when hopefully I’m feeling more like myself. Instead I think we’ll be having another tuna & bean salad. We can get a few extra fresh things, such as bread & tomatoes, on the way home from seeing the district nurses later today.

 

Let’s hope tomorrow morning is less traumatic.

 

Other visitors

I forgot to mention our other visitors of last week. As one pair of human visitors left I noticed a spot of red moving across the patio area – the first ladybird of the season.

 

Also when I showed one of our friends the walled garden & looked up at the nesting box, a blue tit vanished in followed by a bumble bee. I can’t help thinking if they’re both thinking of nesting there, it’s going to be a dangerous place for such close companionship.

 

Yesterday I noticed the bumble bee off to explore the lavender, too early to be in flower, in the horseshoe raised garden. Still it’s lovely to see a bee in flight again. I hadn’t realised it was warm enough for them to come out of their winter hibernation. Clearly it is.

 

The apple tree looks full of buds. It looks as though it will be a good year for fruit unless there’s a lot of wind before the fruit has chance to set. Still something to look forward.

 

Meanwhile the tumours on my throat are continuing to shrink rapidly. Along with it my voice is improving, though most of my family & friends seem to find it difficult to recognise it on the phone as being mine even though the croaks have gone.

 

 

 

More changes, some for the good

It’s been a week of changing plans. Tuesday & Wednesday turned into mild sunny days such that friends turned up & sat a while in the garden. They came armed with goodies – fresh homemade scones to eat, cakes & shortbread, as well as chilled lager in one case. It was just so lovely to see friends again. All were worried about how swollen my neck was & how croaky my voice.

 

On Thurday someone came from the hospice to make an assessment of me. She concluded that the swollen glands just nder my jawline were indeed an extension of the cancer.(My gran died of throat cancer, I wonder if there is a connection.) Anyhow she also saw the hospice doctor immediately she got back and organised a couple of medications to help shrink these tumours & make me more comfortable. I had my first dose of 5 tablets for breakfast on Friday. The Fox was shocked by how much the swelling had gone down & how less croaky I was by the afternoon.  I’m certainly feeling more comfortable now, less earache & once more able to stretch my neck a bit & hold my head up straight.

 

I’ve been on the phone this morning to reassure the friends I saw earlier this week I’m on the mend, at least in one way though in some ways it is proving the cancer is still spreading & on the move, maybe not such good news. No doubt we’ll discover more when I go to oncology next week.