In want of inspiration

I’m thinking of having a look on-line for inspiration. I’m once more using up from the freezer. So what’s next on the list? Pork belly rashers. I’m not quite sure what I’m going to do with them. For many decades, in this country, pork belly has been out of favour. With the arrival of austerity this century, there’s been a revival in interest in the use of cheaper cuts of meat, including pork belly. Most of my recipe books date from the previous century & ignore this cut. Most of the contemporary recipes I have use pork belly as a joint for slow roasting or pulling, neither methods very appropriate with rashers. It’s dawned upon me that I once did a search on-line for venison fillet & discovered a very simple but tasty method of cooking it so maybe I ought to try the same for pork belly rashers.

Why, you might ask, did you buy the pork belly rashers in the first place? A good question. I vaguely think I needed some for extra flavouring in a soup, but that was last year so I can’t be sure. It certainly wasn’t for a recipe I hand wrote out & kept.

At the supermarket, the rashers were in packs of 4. It was one of those BOGOF deals, two packs for the price of one so I bought two & put the unwanted ones in the freezer. Now it’s time to use them up. I needed two rashers for that soup (if it was a soup). The Fox made a slow cook sweet and sour using another two yesterday. That leaves four rashers. I have found one recipe using them with prunes – the Fox is not a great fan of prunes - & a French recipe for a starter. I’m telling myself the latter would do. Add a few veg to fill it out & a starter can be the basis for a main course.

I’m off now to start hunting.

Worrying & disruptive

After over two hours at the hospital, we finally were able to leave. During that time I had two talks with a doctor & a mammogram. The first talk was to examine me & decide what should be done, the second to discuss the results of the mammogram.

The one positive that seems to have come from the visit, is that there no sign of anything amiss in my left breast, no sign of a reoccurrence of the cancer there.

However, there remains the lump, undeniably & painfully, just below my left shoulder. The talk now is of bone cancer. Nothing definite. Further tests are to be done - a CT scan & a bone density test. The tests have been marked as urgent.

Meanwhile the ultrasound appointment has come through. We are off there on Thursday. Another day at the Lancaster hospital.

It’s all very worrying & disruptive. The Fox is finding himself itching once more & I’m scratching away at the psoriasis on my scalp. All plans are being put on hold until we have a diagnosis & possible treatment.

Tomorrow

I’m really looking forward to hospital tomorrow. I’m not entirely convinced that the lump is anything to do with breast cancer but at least it would be one possibility crossed off the list.

The one thing I am convinced about is that the level of pain in my shoulder is growing. Sometimes it’s just a dull bruised ache but more often it is spells of sharp shooting pain. Sometimes the pain shoots into the shoulder, sometimes along the entry point for the incision for the removal of the last breast cancer, sometimes into the armpit. I’m trying to convince myself it’s just psychosomatic. I know there’s a lump there, I therefore must have pain. As the dagger goes in it is difficult to believe it though. Last night the Fox, forgetting for a moment, laid his head on my shoulder. I nearly screamed the place down in my agony.

Something is wrong & it needs to be sorted. And soon.

Would you believe it, yesterday, a letter arrived form the NHS, with my appointment for my next annual mammogram. If I have a mammogram tomorrow than I think the October appointment will be being cancelled. We’ll find out.