First wash

I’ve had my first go at washing the wig. It’s gently dripping onto the bathroom floor. At the moment it looks more like a wet rat than anything else. I just hope I haven’t spoilt it, but I was instructed that it needed washing every 7-10 days & I’ve worn it over week now.

I gather when it is damp as opposed to wet, I’m supposed to spray it with conditioner to encourage it to be soft & glossy. A hair dryer cannot be used. Once it is fully dry I will need to style it – that will be fun (I think not)! - & then another conditioning spray.

Meanwhile I’ve got a multi-coloured scarf tied on my head. I’m not entirely sure of it but it is an improvement on a pink scalp with a silvery haze which is what the top of my head is now.

Morale boost

After dong the shopping yesterday we popped down to the village pub for an unwind before making dinner. There we bumped into some acquaintances we hadn’t seen for a while.

They immediately called out in admiration of my new hairstyle, wondering where I’d had it done. I went over & quietly told them that it was a wig as I’m now on chemo. They were astounded. They hadn’t heard about my cancer & wished me well.

 It was good to have that bit of a morale boost. Before, all those who’d said the wig looked good had all previously known I was losing hair rapidly. It had to be a wig, a matter of necessity. I’d always thought they’d thought like I do, it was the best of what was on offer & had said it looked good to try to convince me it didn’t look bad. I’m certain the Fox certainly feels it’s an improvement on my rapidly balding head. On that I’m agreed. There’s no way I could go out now without covering my head somehow.

Then yesterday I had a phone call from a friend I hadn’t heard from for a while who also said some lovely things about me, about us. She wants me to make a small book of some of my favourite recipes for her. My mind is now whirling with what to include – old favourites that never fail to please, recipes that have special associations. Should I include desserts which I rarely make now but which still bring back fond memories like Orange Rice Meringue? Or is this urge more of a reflection of the novel I’m currently reading, “Rachel’s Pudding Pantry” by Caroline Roberts, which is full of puds & cakes?

Whatever I decide, yesterday was a real morale boost. I feel I’m standing, or rather sitting, taller with some wind in my sails, determined to beat this cancer.

The evening was finished off with a lovely chunter with the Fox over some Dean Martin in the background. Perfect.

New look

We got to Blackpool. And I now have a wig. I’m wearing it now but I’m not entirely sure how happy I am about it.

One thing I soon discovered is they don’t do wigs on the NHS in silver & my hair, such as remains, is very silvery. I’ve had to go for a light brown, a sort of champagne colour. 

The second thing that struck me was how expensive wigs are. I assumed the voucher given me meant the wig was free. It therefore came as a shock to find I ended up paying an extra £104 for something that looked halfway decent. Admittedly these days I can afford it but there was a time I wouldn't have been able to. It certainly would have been embarrassing to say no I couldn't afford the one I preferred. I think the hospital should have warned me that might be the case.

I will admit that at the moment I fell as though I’ve got a tea cosy on my head. It feels very tight. I suspect I will have a throbbing headache before the day is out. I may well go back to the scarf idea. On the whole I feel I was getting the idea & generally feeling more confident both about my looks & my ability to tie a scarf that could look attractive as well as stay on for the day. I’m trying to tell myself that the wig is just new. I’ve got to get used to the feel. It will probably stretch a bit with time & become more comfortable.

Meanwhile my next adverse side effect has arisen. When I went to get change for bed last night, I discovered my midriff & one breast was, & still is, covered with a sort of rash. It looks like a prickly heat rash, though so far it isn’t particularly sore or itchy. I hastily got out my book of side effects & what to do. It says to keep an eye on it & mention it to Oncology when I next go. However, if it starts to hurt or itch I’m to ring the emergency number.

So far it seems I’m going through the whole gamut of side effects – fatigue, gungy taste in the mouth, hair loss & now skin rash. So far I haven’t felt the nausea, loss of appetite & vomiting, but I’m expecting that to arrive any time now. I’m telling myself all this will be worthwhile if it gets rid of the cancer. Certainly the lump seems to have disappeared so the signs are hopeful on that score.