Purple toes

Some time ago, mid-Jan at a guess, I stubbed my big toe. The nail then became a glorious purpley black – a side effect of the chemo. Lately the nail has taken to exuding pus. It’s not particularly painful, it just looks horrible. I’ve taken to squeezing as much pus out as possible by pressing down on the nail. As the pus comes out, the nail is turning to a more normal colour. Even now a quarter of the nail remains very dark.

Some of my other nails, on feet & hands, have gained a nicotine colour even though I’m not a smoker. 

As for the neuropathy, that continues to irritate both fingers & toes. It’s not so bad in my fingers but my toes are a different question. I’ve had to resort to some painkillers specially designed for nerve damage to make it more tolerable. I’m beginning to wonder when I will ever be rid of the side effects of the 3 months of chemo.

New look

We got to Blackpool. And I now have a wig. I’m wearing it now but I’m not entirely sure how happy I am about it.

One thing I soon discovered is they don’t do wigs on the NHS in silver & my hair, such as remains, is very silvery. I’ve had to go for a light brown, a sort of champagne colour. 

The second thing that struck me was how expensive wigs are. I assumed the voucher given me meant the wig was free. It therefore came as a shock to find I ended up paying an extra £104 for something that looked halfway decent. Admittedly these days I can afford it but there was a time I wouldn't have been able to. It certainly would have been embarrassing to say no I couldn't afford the one I preferred. I think the hospital should have warned me that might be the case.

I will admit that at the moment I fell as though I’ve got a tea cosy on my head. It feels very tight. I suspect I will have a throbbing headache before the day is out. I may well go back to the scarf idea. On the whole I feel I was getting the idea & generally feeling more confident both about my looks & my ability to tie a scarf that could look attractive as well as stay on for the day. I’m trying to tell myself that the wig is just new. I’ve got to get used to the feel. It will probably stretch a bit with time & become more comfortable.

Meanwhile my next adverse side effect has arisen. When I went to get change for bed last night, I discovered my midriff & one breast was, & still is, covered with a sort of rash. It looks like a prickly heat rash, though so far it isn’t particularly sore or itchy. I hastily got out my book of side effects & what to do. It says to keep an eye on it & mention it to Oncology when I next go. However, if it starts to hurt or itch I’m to ring the emergency number.

So far it seems I’m going through the whole gamut of side effects – fatigue, gungy taste in the mouth, hair loss & now skin rash. So far I haven’t felt the nausea, loss of appetite & vomiting, but I’m expecting that to arrive any time now. I’m telling myself all this will be worthwhile if it gets rid of the cancer. Certainly the lump seems to have disappeared so the signs are hopeful on that score.