The holiday dilemma

At the weekend I was pleased to get a call from D, the husband of my cousin Ann, who died earlier this year. He’s been on holiday to Australia – he’s got family there. He’s come back sounding rather down. He’s discovered the loneliness of holidaying on your own.

I’m sure this must be a problem for so many people. Part of the joy of a holiday is sharing your experiences with other people, be they friend, family or lover.

I don’t know what the solution is. Some go on holidays for singles but then discover there is a reason why those others are single – they’re bores. Some go with friends/family who are a couple & then hope not they’re not playing gooseberry all the time. As you get older it is harder to find interesting single people to go on holiday with.

I think D’s concluded he’s not going on holiday again. Instead I think he’ll be thinking of short visits to family & friends throughout the country. That way he’ll get away a bit, & still have company without becoming too much of a burden on any one person or outstaying his welcome.

Some people positively choose to be on their own, loving their own company, happy to come back & do their holiday sharing with friends when they come back. Some have found an interest which guarantees they meet people with a similar interest – so we have one single friend who goes on a bowling holiday with his local club. That way he knows some people to start off with, & is sure to meet others who enjoy bowls if nothing else. Another goes on art appreciation holidays for similar reasons.

I suspect at least part of D’s problem is that it was too soon. He still keenly misses Ann & the travelling just emphasised how much he missed her. He was fine when he was with the family in Perth & Adelaide, seeing his brothers & sisters, nephews & nieces, but it was the long flights, the few days spent in Singapore to break the journey that got to him. I suspect that before he went away he was so busy organising things, settling her estate etc. that it wasn’t until he got on that plane that his loss really hit him, & then there was nobody there to help support him. Grief really struck home. I just hope time will make things easier for him. Meanwhile I’ll continue to give him phone calls from time to time so he knows at least some people care & are thinking of him.