A bad taste in the mouth

The time has come to wish you all well. We will be off on our way to Manchester & the airport later today. I’ve spent the morning so far trying to remember all those chores that need to be done before we go. I’ve locked all the windows, switched off the water heater, fed the birds, collected those last things such as brush, comb & glasses. I’m now scratching my head to think what else needs to be done.

Part of my mind is distracted by yesterday’s events. Angie did turn up for her regular one hour. She had been ordered to ask for two vouchers, not one. Again I refused. She got on with her work. There was no rancour between us & I began to feel happier about the situation. After she had gone, I rang the agency to cancel visits while we were away. I was put through to the same officious person I spoke to last week. She immediately shouted abuse at me. When we get home I will now have to find another source of home help.

I am sorry to lose Angie. I grew to like her & find her visits incredibly supportive. Her words always calmed any negative feelings I had, putting the world into a better perspective.

I was shocked by my own reaction to the dispute. What should have been a civilised legal argument about my obligations under my contract escalated into a shouting match, initiated by someone who ought to be trained to deal better with people, especially vulnerable people.

I feel my integrity has been attacked. Above all, I was shocked to become aware, that if the Fox had not been here to support me, I would have probably have literally tried to kill myself. As it was I was tempted. My love for him is the only thing that saved me. I hadn’t even realised I was so depressed. I clearly need this holiday more than I thought. Hopefully I will return in a more positive frame of mind.

Meanwhile the Fox has written a letter of complaint to the agency, not on the legality of who should pay for the hour but rather on the abusive way in which I was treated. He, like me, worries about others who may also be being abused in this way, who maybe are on their own to cope possibly with even more serious needs.

It all leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

But now I'm trying to focus on the holiday, starting with a meal out tonight with my stepbrother & his wife. 

We'll be back in a couple of weeks. Hopefully by then I will be in a happier frame of mind & better spirits. See you then.