Fresh food at last

We finally got to the supermarket yesterday. It’s wonderful to have fresh veg & fruit in at last. We’ve been existing on what was in the freezer since our return. It is with a certain degree of joy that, this morning, I got down to making a Bolognese sauce, full of mushrooms & tomatoes as well as the minced beef, to have with spaghetti & garlic bread this evening.

The fruit is the 5 beautifully red apples from our tree. We’re really thrilled by them. The baby tree was planted a couple of years ago. Last year it didn’t fruit, still settling in to its new environment I think. This year there are 5 apples. Next year? Who knows?

While we were in France, the apples seem to have doubled in size as well as getting ever redder. Yesterday I noticed one had dropped, landing in the divide between branches. I tried the others. They all came off easily in my hands so should be ripe. They’re eaters so I’m looking forward to trying them.

The activities since we have been home have overshadowed our holidays, but I promise I will get around to writing about them. At the moment all I’m going to say is we spent 10 days in Annecy in a hotel beside the lake of that name, followed by a week in Chamonix under the shadow of Mont Blanc, the highest peak in the Alps.

Annecy

Lake Annecy

Chamonix with Mont Blanc behind

The results

The news is as feared. I do have breast cancer.

We were at the hospital for 4 hours yesterday. First I was given the results of the previous biopsy. It is cancer. It is a Grade 3 tumour, which is the most aggressive form. I will need an operation to remove it. However, they needed further tests to determine how far it has spread. There are several cysts in my breast that may also be cancerous. At the moment the lymph glands look good so hopefully the cancer hasn’t spread to other parts of my body. A few sentinel nodes will be removed during the operation & checked.

So after this news we then waited until I had another ultrasound, further biopsies taken (from the cysts this time), a piece of titanium inserted to mark the spot & another mammogram taken just to check the titanium marker was in the right spot.

Now I wait another week for the results. Hopefully by then we will know whether I will need just a small piece of my breast removed or the whole lot. I will also be given an appointment to meet the surgeon & his specialist nurse who will be available at all times to give me any practical information or just emotional support I need throughout the process. The op will probably take place in Kendal.

Meanwhile I’ve been given an enormous wodge of reading matter, most of which seems irrelevant until we know the sort of op I will need, & what further treatment – radiotherapy, chemotherapy, hormonal, drugs – I may require after the op. Some of the info is just superfluous for me e.g. claiming benefits, as I already get as many benefits as I can because of my existing disability.

So now we wait, yet again. I’m grateful that we did have such a good holiday to set us up for the ordeal ahead.

I suppose I’ve lived most of my life with cancer lurking in the background. My gran, who lived with us at the time, died of throat cancer when I was about 7. My mother died of pancreatic cancer. Various uncles, aunts & cousins have all had cancer.

My mother knew cancer was common in our family & stressed on me from an early age, if ever there are tests for cancer in the future, take them. I’m glad I did. It was only by having a smear test that I discovered I had cervical cancer in 2000. I duly had a hysterectomy & have been clear ever since.

This time, I’ve only discovered the cancer due to taking up the offer of a mammogram. It’s not that I feel unwell. Hopefully this time, too, it’s been found early enough for my chances of survival to be good. We’ll see.

Home again

We’re home. It was a good holiday on the whole – a few glitches, mainly a reflection of just how tired, how much in need of a holiday, we were.

We got back Saturday evening. Since then it’s been a case of getting on top of things. The washing is under way. I’ve got another load to do but I’ve nowhere to hang it to dry at the moment. It’s been raining ever since we got home, which doesn’t help. Hopefully something more will have dried by tomorrow so there will be space tomorrow.

In the afternoon we popped over to the golf club & caught up with our friends there, heard their latest news.

This morning has been spent on the phone. Amid the pile of post awaiting our attention there was a letter from the hospital, giving me an appointment at the Breast Clinic tomorrow. To me this does not augur well. They were supposed to be ringing me tomorrow afternoon with the results from the biopsy I had taken just before we set off on hour holiday. Now I have this appointment first thing in the morning with a specialist nurse & to come wearing separates. To me that suggests at best they’re still not sure whether I have cancer or not, or worse they are sure & that I do have it but they are reluctant to tell be by post. Either way it sounds as though they want to do further tests. Either way it has resulted in various phone calls.

The first call was to the garage. Our car was due to be collected & taken for its annual service tomorrow. We will need the car to get to the hospital. That appointment has been changed until next week. Hopefully I won’t be having another hospital appointment then.

Tuesday is also the day when Linda, our home help, usually comes, so I’ve had to ring the agency to cancel that visit. The house can wait an extra week. Linda came the Tuesday before we set off for France on the Wednesday. We’ve hardly been home in that time to mess the place up.

I’ve also had to ring up the care agency’s head office as they’d sent us a bill for the wrong amount. That is being sorted.

The last call of the day was to a friend. For a while now, we’ve usually met up with some friends on a Monday at the local village pub. That pub closed for 6 months’ renovation work just before we went away. While we were away our friends were going to try a few different places & sort out a new regular meeting point while the renovations were done. I duly rang to discover where we are going to meet up. It will be good to catch up with their news later today.

Before we join them we’re hoping to pop into the library for books & jigsaws. We’ll also pop to the local shop for some bread to keep us going. We’ve yet to do the main food shop, but that can wait until I feel I’m properly back & know once more what’s in the fridge etc., & I’m clearer what’s happening with the hospital.

I have to confess, though, I’m glad we had this holiday. I feel it’s set us up for what sounds as though it will be a stressful period ahead. There is nothing like a bit of sunshine, warmth, good food, pampering, stimulation of new sights, to boost your morale & energy levels & we got all those.