Chasing up

I’m back to chasing up the hospital. I’ve still not heard anything from Gastroenterology. This time they’ve decided to chase up the appointments department.

I couldn’t help pointing out that I’m going on holiday next month & I really don’t want to have to do as I did last time unless it was absolutely essential. Last time I seem to spend half my time asking the waiter whether desserts had alcohol in them. It didn’t worry me with main courses as the alcohol is burnt off in the cooking. This is not so with desserts. Sure enough the chocolate mousse, chocolate cake, tiramisu, the apricot torte etc all had alcohol in. I had to resort to a choice of fresh fruit salad or ice cream most days. A couple of days they did a strawberry gateau that wasn’t soaked in alcohol. That was a real joy. I even had to refuse free cocktails unless they were non-alcoholic. I usually ended up with a rather boring orange juice.

This account got the secretary on my side. She liked my thinking & could easily understand the urgency to have the MRI scan & see the specialist once more. So now I’m waiting for the phone to ring, hopefully with some good news of appointment times.

I was intending to pop down to the fish shop this morning to get some salmon for dinner. That can wait until this afternoon. We’ve just had another shower so it’s maybe just as well if I don’t venture forth on my Mean Machine (electric scooter) as it doesn’t like getting wet, & I don’t like getting soaked as is also the inevitable result. We have to go out to the library so it won’t harm to get the fish at the same time. It’s not as though fish takes long to prepare & cook usually.

Importance of history

Yesterday went well. We had the dining room to ourselves. We looked out across Morecambe Bay to the Lakeland fells on the other side. The conversation flowed as we once more caught up with each other’s lives. The food was okay but not exciting, but nothing seemed to matter as old bonds were once more forged. We sat a while in the bar overlooking the greenness of the golf course, before making our way back home. At home they were amazed by the sheer size of our garden – there are not many people who have a garden big enough to have 8 neighbours adjoining it!

By 5pm it was time for them to think of parting once more. Their Satnav had directed them a peculiar way to get here, taking them off the M6 at Junction 33 & taking them through the centre of Lancaster, getting them stuck in traffic jams for over half an hour. We told them how to find Junction 34 so avoiding the centre of Lancaster & hopefully the worst of the rush hour traffic.

The afternoon had gone so well, we’ve even provisionally agreed to join them for dinner, when we stay overnight in Manchester before our flight to France next month. Meeting twice in a year will be quite an achievement for us!

At the end of the day, I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason for the meeting, if reason was needed, was that Alan has discovered now his mother has died – he was an only child of a single mother - as I did, that when all the immediate family around in your childhood have died, then those who played a large part on the sidelines become all the more important. For him, I must be one such. He, my brother & another old friend, Gordon, were always together. At primary school one of my best friends was Liz, Gordon’s sister. As a result I was always there in Alan’s life as he was in mine. The real friends were the boys with each other, & the girls on the other side but inevitably there was an overlap. We can share memories of things, events & people that made us what we are today. And that becomes important when those more immediately a part of those memories – his mother in his case, my parents & brother in mine - are no longer available to reminisce with.

To lunch

The day has come. I await the arrival of my stepbrother & his wife. I’ve still not worked out what this meeting is about. It must be the best part of ten years since we last saw them. Is it just that now his mother has died he feels freer to socialise with us? Or is it something else? We’ll soon find out.

We’ve booked a table for lunch at the golf club. Everyone says the food there is great. Certainly the food we’ve had at various functions with a buffet has been rather ordinary-sounding, traditional English, but superbly produced. The warm beef has just melted in your mouth.

It seems this is the weekend of one of the biggest inter-golf club competitions in the area. The game is to be played away at Heysham. When we went to book the table on Thursday we were the first table to book. Most of the regulars were apparently going to play, or support the Morecambe players, at Heysham & so dine there. I hope there are a few more people at Morecambe today. It’s going to be a bit miserable being the only table in a huge empty room, especially if there is tension in our conversation, or the food proves disappointing.

At least the idea of dining at a golf club appealed to them. It is suitably aspirational, exclusive-sounding, for them. They were somewhat surprised to discover we were members. It was worth the membership fee just to hear their shocked approval.

I’m afraid to say, that much as I like them in many ways, we are a mystery to them. He has been a part of my life from childhood. Indeed Alan was the first boy my brother met at primary school. They went through the school system always in the class. As a result we were often at his place or he at ours. Chris, his wife, I’ve known longer than Alan has. She is the daughter of one of my primary school teachers. I got to know her in my late teens when I was still at secondary school. I could never say we were close friends but we rubbed along. At that age our few years’ difference in age was important. I must have seemed just a kid to her, just as she, by then already old enough to be working, seemed very adult to me.

I think we’re a bit of an oddity as far as they are concerned. They just don’t seem to know what to make of us. We’re just not sufficiently ambitious, aspirational, materialistic. As long as we’re together & we’re able to pay our bills, that is enough for us. We’re happy. We’ve never understood the drive for higher wages, higher social status. We are what we are & are content. The latest fashions pass us by without us aspiring for them. A 15 year old car, as our present one is, is fine by us provided it keeps running well without too many expensive repairs to keep it going. I admit, these days it is nice to be in a financial position to travel the world if we want, to have our garden professionally redesigned without worrying unduly about the cost, to no longer have to count every penny as we do our food shop as we did for many years, but those are just perks, very nice perks but perks nonetheless & we know it.

They have had a life of international travel. Alan has been an accountant for some big international companies, travelling regularly to the United States & Italy. Chris has helped run Manchester Council &, later, Wythenshawe Hospital, both huge institutions. Now Alan is a local councillor, Chris retired. They’re both highly successful people, high achievers. I am pleased for them. It is what they wanted & what they succeeded in getting. It just wasn’t what we wanted. It’s a life that suits/suited(?) them, not a lifestyle that even appealed to us, let alone would have suited us.

Anyhow, we’ll soon discover how things go, whether years of knowing each other will provide the magic gel of old that enables us to be friends. I hope so, otherwise we’re in for a very awkward meal ahead.

Return of the sun

Yesterday saw the return of the sunshine.

After I had my hair cut, I toodled along the promenade to the fish shop. Usually, as I go along on the Mean Machine, my electric scooter, I pass, or am passed by, various people as they walk their dogs, go jogging or cycling. Most call a cheery hello. There’s something more relaxed & informal about going along a seaside promenade rather than a city street. All are on the move.

Yesterday was different. For once the numerous seats were occupied. It was warm enough for people to sit & stare, enjoying the wonderful views across Morecambe Bay. On the sands whole families played with their dogs.

As I came to the fountains at one end, a couple of young girls played. On their scooters they tried to dart between the spurts of water without getting wet. The older child was quite successful; the younger one was sodden.

I bought some tuna for our dinner. I find this a strange fish. The tinned stuff, which I tend to think of as the real thing, we love. It’s good & fishy. The fresh tuna always seems almost meaty, somewhere between chicken & pork. I also think it’s very easy to overcook fresh tuna & end up with something dry & rather tough – impossible with the tinned stuff. Yesterday we had it with a creamy mushroom sauce, which helped keep it moist.

I got back from the shops just in time for Al, our gardener, to arrive. He was eager to look at the designs. He thought the drainage scheme was inspired, though in need of some amendment so there was a drain for the water from the shed roof too.  He went on to discuss what he saw as the pros & cons of the various schemes we’d been given. We don’t entirely see eye-to-eye on this. Al is essentially a veg grower & wants orderly straight lines; we want the swoop of curves & a more natural look. Still he does agree our variation for the patio area should be feasible.

We still find our minds wandering towards the garden plans. We’ve even got a book out of the library on garden design in the hope it helps clarify what we’re really seeking. Once we can decide on the hard landscaping our thoughts can move more towards the planting, at least the qualities of the planting we want, if not the specific variety. The idea of a pergola of some sort, draped with an easy going, slow growing, climber, possibly sweetly scented, does appeal. But where to put it? We’ll think on.

Uneasy

It seems very strange today. There’s nothing I have to do this morning. The Fox has already made up a Shepherd’s Pie for this evening, so that’s the meal sorted. With the deluge of rain we had all yesterday, my washing hasn’t dried, so there’s no ironing to do.

I would do a bit of tidying in the garden but it’s too wet underfoot, even though it has stopped raining. I will have a go at filling up the feeders for our avian friends but that won’t take long. I also need to not do too much physically as today is Big Shop day when we go to do the main food shop, always traumatic. I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t be easier to order on-line & have the food delivered, but I like to judge the quality of veg & meat before buying & that I don’t trust anyone else to do.

Tomorrow I’m off to the hairdresser. It’s time for a prune. I’ve been growing my hair out a bit of late but ultimately I’m coming to the conclusion that my silvery hair these days doesn’t have the healthy sheen of old to look good all one length, or even long. It’s time to go back to some sort of layered bob, the mushroom look as the Fox would say.

We’re half expecting my stepbrother & his wife to visit on Saturday. We’re both a bit anxious about this. We haven’t seen them for years & now suddenly they want to come to see us. And they want to come to our house, not to a pub or somewhere halfway between us. We can’t help wondering why. I know I rang to offer our condolences when my stepmother died recently but we hadn’t expected this reaction. We’ll find out at the weekend, though so far we have no idea when they expect to arrive, merely that we are to choose somewhere to go to for lunch. We’re thinking of trying the golf club. Everyone says the food is good there. Certainly whenever we’ve had a buffet at receptions there it has been excellent. At the moment though, we both feel a certain uneasiness about the whole event.

Wandering

Throughout the night, whenever I’ve woken up, I’ve heard the sound of rain hitting the glass of our open windows & of the greenhouse not far beyond them. Today seems set to be wet. Still the rain comes down. It’s quite a contrast to what we’ve had of late. Our spare ponds are rapidly appearing.

It raises in our mind some doubts concerning the proposed garden scheme. It is suggested the whole of the garden should be raised, with added drains from near the greenhouse (site of one impromptu lake) & the garage (another occasional lake), taking the excess water to a soakaway at the far end of the garden (where exactly unspecified). We can’t help wondering if this will solve the water problem. Won’t it just move some of it to the far end, which is already pretty boggy? And what happens to the water that lands on the patio above the level of the drains, & the water that streams through, across the patio from next door? And what about the water that comes up through the ground as the water table rises? I’ve just about got the present bog garden sorted. It’s even beginning to burgeon out. A few more tweaks & it will be perfect. But that area is proposed to go & the landscaper reckons there will be no bog there anyhow so those plants wouldn’t survive the changed habitat.

Still my main focus of the day is the dinner. We’re once more using up from the freezer. It’s amazing some of the unexpected things you discover in the depths. Today I’m tackling some scallops. I’m thinking of making a tomato sauce for the scallops & serving them with some linguine. In other words we’re going Italian. My mind floats temporarily off to Italy & our recent holiday by Lake Molveno.

Our minds are constantly floating off at the moment. Neither of us is entirely happy with the garden designs suggested. As a result we’re trying to sort out a clearer image of exactly what we do want with the garden. We’ve finally clarified what to do with the patio area assuming it’s practical. It’s taken us all weekend. Now we have to sort out the rest of the garden. We keep doing one thing, watching the TV for example, when suddenly a garden idea pops into our heads & we have to stop to discuss the possibility.

Oh well I suppose such dreams are free. Trying to turn them into a reality is another matter.

Our Garden of Eden

We’re almost silenced in thought & dream. Yesterday was notable for two things.

The first was the pleasurable arrival of a letter from the new friends we met on our holiday in Italy.  They sent a card & now I look at the TV. On the table by the side is this card featuring a family of elephants, and smile. Ruth & Col have been much in my mind as we’ve played our dominoes in the garden.

The second thing is the landscape gardener came round with his designs. No one design stands out as the one. Instead we’re left trying to get a clearer idea of what we do what, how to incorporate the best of each design to suit us.

One conclusion we’ve come to is that I would like a circular path around the garden, so I have chance to do what I can to maintain the garden. I would certainly would like to look around, see which new plants are opening up, see any frogs etc hiding in the undergrowth. When we first moved her 13 years ago, I could manage most days to stroll round the garden. It was as much a part of my morning routine as the first mug of tea. These days I can’t walk that far & I can’t go by wheelchair or scooter as the ground is too uneven & there are steps on the way.

All sorts of drainage ideas are planned, the efficacy of which we can not judge. If they do work it will make quite a difference. We’re just about starting to learn to love our selection of bog plants. Now they will be dying of thirst. It is proposed to raise the whole garden rather than ramps down into the lower region.

 

Villanddry France

Some of designs seem too geometric for our tastes. We prefer the softer shapes of the curves of nature to the harsh straight lines of man. We’re not sure the idea of an essentially rectangular lawn appeals. A more kidney shape appeals more, something that doesn’t go straight up the middle with paths & beds evenly on either side. Geometric patterns reminds me a little of the formality of the medieval knot garden. Much as I admire the garden at Villandry for example, I wouldn’t want them for my garden.

I want flower beds that overflow with colour & scent, where there is so much growth weeds can’t find there way in much. I want trees & shrubs of various heights & colour. I want some evergreens to give the garden structure all year round &, at the same time, I want some of those shrubs to change at different times of the years to reveal blossoms & berries.

I want some raised beds which I can look after easily. There I would like to put some annuals that vary from year to year but give us plenty of colour & pleasure. The herb garden at the front has got the idea. Now the sage & curry plant dominate. The sage is purple& green leafed, with blue flowers at times. The curry pant is silvery leafed with yellow flowers. In another spot the oregano spreads out, now full of bees supping on the white flowers. There are the unusual shapes of the leaves of the southernwood & the woodruff. Textures, shapes, shades of green, colour all vary. High above everything comes the feathery fennel just starting now to open it yellow umbrels. Some lavender & hyssop peep their purple flowers through all the greenery. The chives are between phases of pinky purple pompons. This garden only takes a couple of hours attention a year just to tidy it up a bit at the beginning of spring, to cut back some of the excess growth to allow other plants to see the light, to add a few extra plants if any bare patches have appeared. Very few weeds ever appear. I want all the beds in the back garden to have a similar sense of controlled wild abundance, full of colour & scent, & above all requiring a level of work I can cope with.

 

A large lawn does have a certain appeal. It is comparatively easy to get someone who can mow a lawn, particularly if it’s not too complicated a shape. Finding someone to weed is a different matter.

Ideally we want a feature at the far end to draw you in. Our ideal would be a Barbara Hepworth sculpture but I can’t see us affording that! A seating area has been suggested but we just don’t see us ever sitting up there. A seat or two along the pathway maybe, but not at the far end. A summerhouse perhaps, but that would need maintaining. We’ll have to think about that one.

In a way I’m quite reassured to know that if the work goes ahead we will be watering an army of workmen for about a month. If it’s going to take that sort of time I feel it will be carefully done. We’re just going have to buy a lot of tea & coffee.

Maybe before we come to any firm conclusions & make any commitments we should have a tour of some garden centres & gardens to sort out what we really want.

We just want our Garden of Eden, a paradise!