Feeling even older

I've been busy over the weekend. Household chores such as the ironing. I even got to church yesterday - first time this year - where I was warmly welcomed.

What has dominated my thoughts, though, has been my Friday visit to the doc. It seems I'm hypothyroidal.

"You're just getting old," he says. "Your body is wearing out. Your thyroid gland is packing up."

"But I'm only 54. That's not old," I think. "Heaven help me if I ever get to my Aunt Ivy's age of 87." I suppose I have to admit my body does seem to be wearing out early - arthritis from my 20s, menopause beginning in my late 30s, osteoporosis diagnosed by my 40s, moles etc appearing in my 50s - all signs of that malady known as old age.

"Do you feel tired?" he continues.

"I think I've felt tired for the last 20 years, ever since I became disabled. Everything seems to take so much more effort, on top of which half the time I'm not sleeping due to being awakened by pain. I've been saying as much in all by benefit forms (which he has seen)." I don't add the side effects of medication, some of which is designed to dampen me down a bit.

"How about the cold? Do you feel the cold?"

"I've always felt the cold, from the time I first arrived in England. My mother put it down to being born in such a hot country," I reply.

He then adds, "Are you going to grow old gracefully?"

To which my response is "It depends what you mean by gracefully. If you mean, am I going to be cantankerously rude, no. If you mean, am I just going to curl up my toes & give up on life, no."

"Good," he says "That's what I like to hear."

With that, he gives me a prescription for a couple of packets of "crisis" pills, & tells me to return in another 6 weeks for another blood test to see if the strength of the pills need tweaking.

When I get home, I dutifully read the piece of paper in the box with the pills. Possible side effects include "skin rash, palpitations .... death". The latter sounds an extreme solution to my problem! We shall see. So far I'm still alive & kicking, even if feeling tireder than ever, though that's probably more to do with my weekend of activity than anything else.