Changing dreams

I’m feeling distinctly nervous. I’m expecting a phone call from Christie’s this afternoon to decide if I’m an appropriate candidate for one of their trials. I’ve tried to collect together things I may have to refer to, things like medical history, medications I take. I’m spreading them out on the coffee table near the phone. I really see Christie’s as the only possible way of slowing down, if not curing, this cancer.

 

Others around us seem more concerned about yet another shut-down. For us it makes very little difference. For months we haven’t been out of the house except for food shopping or going to hospital. I’m just hoping it doesn’t prevent our collecting our new car, due later this week. We also wonder if our cleaner can come this week. I’ll ring up later this week to check on that. But we can manage for a while without anyone. We certainly did last spring.

 

One, for us, sad thing has dawned on me. Unless something can be done to restrain the cancer & reduce the size of Lump, I can’t see us travelling abroad again, no matter how it might appeal. Lump is now of such a size, the skin so stretched to cover it, the slightest bump is likely to cause the skin to break resulting in ulcerating sores that will need more medical treatment than we can provide. At least if we holiday here, we should be able to access NHS treatment no matter where we are.

 

Telling an insurance company about the cancer is going to make the premium shoot up, but paying for treatment abroad could be very expensive. So now I’m trying to put aside my dreams of visiting France, Italy, The Netherlands, Austria, Belgium, Denmark etc. Instead I will think of places here - Edinburgh, York, Salisbury, Chatsworth, London, the Isle of Man, etc. There’s plenty of places in the British Isles to explore & enjoy.