The latest

The decision’s been made. It’s to be stronger chemotherapy. I will be starting that the first Monday of January. It’s just a 6-week course. Let’s hope this works better.

Meanwhile today I’m just back from the hospital. I’ve been for another CT scan to see exactly what is happening inside me.

Next week I’ve made an appointment to see a GP. I feel the time has come for a second opinion. This surgeon is definitely nervous about the idea of operating whilst at the same time saying the tumour has to come out. This makes me worried about how shaky his hand may be if I were to let him loose on me. On top of which, yesterday I received a letter telling me they favoured radiotherapy, followed by telephone call saying they’d decided on chemotherapy. It feels like the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. Either way I feel a second, hopefully more experienced, person needs to give an opinion on the best option. While this lot dither I might be dying.

I remind myself everyone has been shocked by the location of the growth, its size & rapidity of growth. It clearly is an unusual form of cancer. Nobody here has ever seen anything like it & are doing their best to deal with it. I would be reassured to know they are on the right lines from someone who has seen such a growth in the shoulder even if I return to the present team for treatment.

Meanwhile, today I return home for yet another letter from the hospital. This time it is from Orthotics concerning my request for “Supply shoes”. What on earth are they? I’m expecting knees braces, not shoes. Or have they sent the letter to the wrong person? Has someone else got a letter for knee braces? I rang up the hospital to clarify the situation to be answered by a machine asking me to leave a message. They check all messages twice a week. I left a message but your guess is as good as mine as to when, or even if, I’ll hear from them. Competency doesn’t seem in high demand at the Royal Lancaster Hospital.