Treading water

Once more it's time for the food shop. Just a small top-up shop this week. 

Tomorrow we go on the next stage in the search for a diagnosis as to what is causing me so much pain & us both so much anxiety & loss of sleep, i.e. we're off to see the doc & discover what next he suggests, what new test he thinks I ought to have.

We both will be relieved to know exactly what the problem is. Even if it's something dire - which I don't really think it is - at least we will be able to adjust our life accordingly, get appropriate medical treatment to ease the situation. As it is neither of us feel we can make any plans. How I will be on a particular day has long been questionable but there have been certain parameters to work within. I have known if I can take things easy for a few days - the very idea of which instantly makes me want to do things so contrary am I - I can usually do most things. Now we daren't even commit to going out for a meal with friends without wondering if we'll make it. The idea of a holiday, which appeals greatly to us after this sunless summer, is just impossible, even if it is only for a weekend. Anxieties over benefits have faded in the background. We've still not heard anything about them.

Anyhow as we're off to get food today, the Fox has prepared a quick Tuna Macaroni for dinner tonight. It's all ready to go in the oven as soon as we're back from the shops. It will cook unattended while we put our purchases away. Tomorrow I'm go to make a great pan of Pea & Mint Soup with Prosciutto in the morning. We'll buy some fresh bread on the way back from the surgery. We'll decide is we want anything more after we've had the soup. There's a quick microwaveable meal in the freezer we can have. Or a pizza. Or eggs for an omelette. As I say we will decide after the soup has gone.

I just hope we get answers soon.