Hunt for relaxation

The sun is back! There’s even some warmth in it. I’ve hastily got the washing out on the line to dry.

We did contemplate going away for a few days, to get away from the stress & regather our strength. We have no medical appointments until Thursday so it would seem possible. However, we concluded the way the hospital keeps ringing up with short notice appointments maybe it wasn’t so wise. That has to take priority at the moment.

The big meeting is happening today. I quite expect by tomorrow I will be called in again. So instead we’ve had a quiet weekend at home doing a few chores or just trying to relax.

It’s just as well really. I flaked out not long after 8pm last night. I was wondering if I was even going to get to the end of my meal. When the Fox came along to bed he’d had to admit he’d dropped off to sleep in front of the tele. Neither of us are sleeping very well at the moment – too anxious, too itchy, too painfilled. The sooner something is sorted the better. However, I fear it may be quite a while before we can properly relax, what with preparing for, & recovering from, an op, possibly chemo/radiotherapy as well. We’re just having to grasp at any opportunity to put our feet up & relax.

What's that?

I woke to a strange sound. What was happening? Then I realised it was rain slashing down against the panes. It hasn’t rained all week so it was quite a change. What is more it rarely slashes down on the bedroom side of the house. Usually rain hits the kitchen windows or the lounge windows, not the bedroom. It seems the weathermen have got it right. We’re in for a change of weather.

Definite

It’s definite now. I have cancer. It is in the glands rather than other breast tissue.

Yesterday I had the last tests. Next week I will know the proposal for the next stage.

It is certain I need another op to remove this lump. However, that is complicated because of its size & its location.

It is immediately above a mass of veins & nerves (hence the amount of pain I have in my arm, neck & side). It is difficult to operate without causing other damage in the process. The proposal so far is to shrink the lump first of all, presumably with either chemo or radiation. A big group discussion is to be held by the various departments on Monday to decide on the best way forward.

I will just be relieved when something starts to be done to reduce the amount of pain I’m having to endure.

The interesting thing is the loss of sensation I had in my left hand earlier in the year was probably an early sign of the cancer affecting the nerves going down my left arm. Now we know.