A lift to the spirits

I love days like this. The sky is pure blue. The light gleams on everything. The whites of the snowdrops & golds & purples of the crocuses shine out, heralding the spring to come.  It’s very cold but then that’s what winter is about. The frost has now melted wherever the sun reaches it. The cold you can wrap up against. We’re in the fortunate position of not having to worry unduly about the cost of having the heating on. The birds are busily diving to & from the bird table and feeders. All in all, it’s the sort of day, when joy springs to my soul. It feels good to be alive.

Maybe it’s partially things are starting to sort themselves out. The Fox has made a breakthrough with Saga. It finally looks as though we’re managing to get somewhere on arranging the Italian holiday. You never know we might even get there in May as we’d hoped.

Meanwhile I’ve been looking at a few other holiday destinations for later in the year. We’re working on the theory that if we’ve booked, we may actually go and not be deterred by the problems at home. It may be a case of taking it quiet while we’re away, but at least we should get away from home pressures for a bit.

I’m also reading a book which lifts my spirits. It’s set in wine-making country in the north of Italy. I’ve not read far but it definitely looks hopeful of being a good read. I can’t help being struck again that a vineyard is one thing I would hate. The stress of timing the harvest when the fruit is at optimum ripeness, then all the stress of transforming the grapes into a palatable wine is quite something, more than I could cope with. And that’s not to mention all the worry with weather etc as the fruit grow through the summer months. No, I have no aspiration to grow my own vines, though the idea of drinking the results does appeal.

Still at the moment I’m still off the wine, and any other alcohol, for a few months at least. The only way I’m consuming is in the cooking providing I am confident the alcohol is burnt off. So, for example, the Fox is making a Beef Stroganoff for dinner tonight & I’ve authorised him to use some brandy. The stroganoff is cooking for 6 hours or so in Big Ears, our slow cooker. I cannot believe much alcohol will be left after that length of time, though hopefully a boost should have been given to the flavour of the meal. I’m looking forward to it.

A few days away

We’re home again after our brief stay in Kendal. We feel surprisingly refreshed. We didn’t do much. We actually went up to Kendal on Thursday for a meeting in the afternoon. After the meeting we made our way up to the hotel.

Having checked in, we popped along to the pub on site for a while, before dinner in the hotel. We dined both days in the hotel. It just seemed too much bother to go out to look for somewhere else, especially when it felt freezing cold outside.

On Friday, after a substantial breakfast, we ventured over to Windermere to Lakeland, the kitchen equipment suppliers. We needed a few things we prefer from there. We found the shop disappointing. It seems to have grown over the years. When it first opened we were excited, like kids in a sweet shop, but these days we just feel overwhelmed. We hastily got what we were looking for & returned back to the hotel. Most of the rest of the day was spent napping, reading, chuntering. In other words we did nothing much, just relaxed in the comfort of having nothing much to worry about.

Saturday saw us homeward bound. As we headed south sleet began to fall. We couldn’t help thinking we were glad to be heading home. It’s amazing what a couple of days away can do for you. We had contemplated staying an extra night but decided against the idea, especially when we saw they were clearly preparing for a big wedding on the Saturday. For us, a couple of nights were enough. We resolved to do this sort of thing more often.

I wasn’t even too put out when we got home to find another incomprehensible letter from the Department of Works & Pensions (DWP). I rang them yesterday to get an explanation. It seems the letter was the decision on the second application form I filled in in January. Again they’ve put me in the Work Related Group. As far as I can see they just checked I hadn’t gained any new problems & rubber-stamped the previous decision. They didn’t even give me a medical this time. I do not have to appeal this one. They reckon if I get the decision on the first application changed in the way I think it should be, this later decision will be amended accordingly. We’ll see.

Meanwhile we’re getting back to our daily lives & routines with a greater will, even relish. As I say, amazing what a few days away can do.  

Loose end

I’m feeling at something of a loose end. The Fox is doing dinner tonight – a lasagne with Parma ham instead of minced beef. He’s made it in Big Ears, our slow cooker, the first time either of us has tried cooking pasta in it. My jigsaw is finished, but I always like the Fox to see it complete before I take it apart & start a new one. If the sun was shining & the temperature a bit higher, I might be tempted to tidy the front garden ready for the spring, but we’re back to grey skies. It’s been lovely to see the first snowdrops & crocuses opening up in the recent sunshine. I don’t want to read much as otherwise I’ll be bookless when we go away. So what to do? I’ve finally decided to come on-line.

The meeting yesterday went well. I wish the interviews with ATOS & other benefit agencies, could be as relaxed as those with Social Services. It seems we will probably get an increase in the number of respite vouchers we’ll be getting this year, rather than less.

Meanwhile we wait to hear from Italy….

An unexpected call

I’d just got the curry to the plop – it’s Chicken & Cranberry Curry for dinner tonight – when the phone rings. It’s Social Services.

Every Monday, Angie, comes to clean for us, along with generally chatting to boost my sometimes waning morale. She is paid for with respite vouchers from Social Services. It’s renewal time yet again. This time Social Services have decided they need to visit before re-issuing vouchers. They didn’t bother last year but I suppose it’s not surprising they should feel the need to check how we’re managing.

So this afternoon, before we do the food shop, we’ll be seeing this lady from Social Services, let her know my health has only deteriorated since they last saw me nearly two years ago & that the Fox’s health since his stroke has not miraculously improved.

I just hope we get the vouchers. I know Social Services are trying to make cut-backs to save money. I was surprised we managed to get our vouchers renewed as easily as we did last year.

We would be loathe to manage without Angie. I suspect we would have to find a cleaner at least, probably cheaper than a care worker as Angie is, & pay for her out of our own pockets. I suspect the day the Fox had to go to Kendal to do his Speed Awareness course last summer, we should have arranged a care worker to come to be with me at least some of the time. I was certainly very relieved when the Fox got back home.

 It’s an expensive business being disabled! As it is we have to pay for a gardener. Keeping that tidy is way beyond our abilities. I’m hard-pushed to even get to the far end of the garden, let alone do any work when I've got there. The Fox isn’t much better.

We’ll just have to see how it goes. At least it will be a quick dinner when we get back from the shopping. That's something.

Getting sorted

On Saturday I rang up the hotel we fancied in Kendal to see if they had an accessible room. They had. They admitted the shower was one over the bath but I was welcome to use the wet room in the fitness part of the hotel for my shower. Personally I think I can manage without a shower for a couple of days. For a couple of days I’m content provided I can get into the hotel & into the bedroom. A longer holiday is a different matter.

Meanwhile the Fox has taken over tying to sort out the Italian holiday, to my relief. He tried tackling Saga to be told to ring back midweek. They could phone the hotel that day. Since then, he read my last blog & has come to the same conclusion as I have. Saga is just giving us the run around. So he’s sent an e-mail direct to the hotel to see if there’s an accessible room available & to book it.

Whilst he was on-line he looked at a few customer reviews of the hotel. On the whole they were very complimentary. The one adverse criticism is “The big mistake is to book through Saga”. It sounds as though other people have had a similar experience to us.

Saga was refusing to organise the flight or transfers anyway. That being so we might as well go fully independent.  We can’t see why they couldn’t organise the flight. For this hotel they only booked flights to Verona from Gatwick. We preferred to go from Manchester as it’s so much nearer & more convenient for us, living in the north of England as we do. Saga does fly from Manchester to Verona for another hotel at that time of year so why couldn’t they book a seat for us, even though we were going to a different one of their hotels? Incomprehensible to me.

As for the transfers, as I can’t get on the average coach - it has to have a ramp/lift/be a low loader for my wheelchair – we always have to organise the transfers unless we’re going with an accessible travel organisation. Our usual solution is to hire the car we want for getting around on holiday from the airport. We did use the airport bus at Nice where it was wonderfully accessible, but that was very much the exception to the rule.

 So now we await the answer from the hotel. I just hope it works out well. I feel a lot happier about the prospects for not having to use Saga.

Meanwhile I’m hoping to enjoy the gloriously sunny, if freezing cold, day ahead & look forward to a couple of stress-free days in Kendal later in the week.

That holiday

I’ve just about given up on this Italian holiday. The company who arranges it, Saga, have now taken about 2 weeks to organise it & have still not yet established whether there is a wheelchair accessible room available at the sort of time we’re interested in going.

After the first week they did ring back to check why I needed a wheelchair accessible shower. I would have thought that was obvious, but I explained yet again I am wheelchair user so need a shower with  some grab handles & a seat in it, preferably with a flat entrance, though I could probably manage a slight lip in. Silence is all there’s been since. The Fox keeps telling me I should give them a ring, but I can’t help thinking it’s too much hassle when they clearly don’t want our custom.

With this in mind we popped along to the travel agents again to get some brochures on the Italian lakes area. Now I have a different problem.

The brochures are full of fabulous-looking hotels. None of them give clear information about access. Without that, I’m wary of getting too excited about any destination in case it isn’t. I’m also feeling a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of exciting places & no real criteria on which to make a decision.

I’m slowly ploughing through the websites of various hotels. I can’t help thinking life would be so much easier if they would all clearly state if they had adapted rooms, or rooms that were at least potentially useable by a person with limited mobility.

So far I’ve not found one that excites me as much as the Saga holiday did. I’ve not cancelled my provisional booking with them so we may yet be going with them if they would only get back to us.

Meanwhile we're planning that couple of  days away in Kendal. Maybe I'll be able to cope better with this holiday hunt after that.

A complete waste of time

The phone rang. It’s the Jobcentre. The dreaded work-focused interview took place.

It wasn’t as bad as I feared. As she had a record of the fact I had an appeal in for my ESA as well as a second application form under consideration, she wasn’t unduly pushy.

Instead she asked about my qualifications, previous jobs, any volunteer work etc. She also asked about my medical condition & the effect it has on my ability to work.

I think at the end of the day I persuaded her I was not against the idea of work. I have kept myself mentally alert as much as possible, but that doesn’t solve my physical problems or the causes of my mental ill-health.

In all honesty I get the impression she didn’t really think I was fit to work, given the level of medication I am on, as well as my physical & mental difficulties. Indeed she praised me for having done as much as I can & my flexibility on work type. Her only suggestion is a website where there is a possibility of finding some unpaid voluntary work which could be done on the computer from home in my home time. But she wasn’t pushy even on that.

She is going to send some written sheets on the sort of help the Jobcentre can offer that may be useful if my health were to improve. She will give me another ring some time in the future but it will probably be months down the line, when the decisions have been made on my applications for ESA. She does not expect me to actually apply for any jobs, training etc, instead just try to get out a bit more. Everything else she could suggest she seems to reckon I’m doing anyhow.

A complete waste of time in other words. If I seriously thought I could realistically do any work of any type, I would be seeking it. It’s just I am not fit to work now & am highly unlikely to get better in the future. As things are now, & since my condition is only deteriorating, are likely to be in the future, I should be in the Support group & not expected to work, and she should  not to be expected to try to help me back into the world of work. I told her that much last week when I got the interview changed to being by phone rather than in person. As I say a complete waste of her time as well as mine!