A further death

We got to the Farmers’ Market yesterday to discover it is the last one planned for Morecambe. We will be sorry to see it go. In future the nearest one will be on a Saturday in Lancaster. As you will have realised by now we avoid Lancaster as much as possible, & Saturday is the busiest & therefore worst of all days.

We could go over to the farm shop in Conder Green or to the farm we regularly buy our salt marsh lamb from – it's in Cockerham – but both necessitate traversing Lancaster & are quite a trip out.

I’m not quite sure what we will do for meat in future.

There are mutterings they may have another go, on a different site. It has to be admitted the present arrangements have not been the best. The market has been held in a church hall in the middle of a residential area, far away from the shops. As a result few people are even aware of its existence. As for its advertising, that seems to have consisted of a few boards nearby, but unless you are passing you wouldn’t see those. For that matter if you are driving on your own, immersed in conversation or distracted by the view across the Bay, they are easily missed. You certainly wouldn’t make it a place to go out of your way for. They don’t seem to have thought of advertising in the local papers!

The suggestion is the market will maybe move more into the shopping centre which would make a lot more sense. That’s where the shoppers are. It could even become an added attraction to the shopping area. The existing Festival market has few food stalls, none selling meat, so this would be a positive addition. 

At the moment no one seems to want to take on the organisation required to arrange it so the whole concept of a Farmers’ Market may disappear into obscurity, never to be seen again - a pity both for us, the buyers, & for the farmers with high quality meat to sell for which they get a higher percentage of the profit by selling direct to the public.

Meanwhile we will start the new year by finding somewhere else to buy our meat. Although we’ve found a good butcher for chicken, his other meat is disappointing.

Winter

You would think it had snowed, the world is so white. In fact it is only frost. Even the roads & pavements are white. Yesterday never got any warmer. The frost only thickened as the night arrived. Admittedly the thermometer has gone up a bit. I was struck by how much warmer it seemed when I ventured out. The temperature has reached the giddy heights of -10ْC. I noticed the bin men today are all wearing balaclavas trying to keep warm. The feeling of whiteness is increased by the fog that keeps coming and going. Apart from the bin men, nothing seems to be moving along the street. Everyone is staying in the warmth as long as they can. Most of our neighbours are either retired or self-employed, based at home, so there is no need to go out unless you want to. Needless to say, before I ventured online I hastily put a bit of extra food out for the birds. They will need it in this frozen world.

We’re hoping to venture over to the butcher’s to buy a chicken later today. Part of the reason is that we’re hoping to check if the Farmers’ Market is on tomorrow or not. They always mess around with the time at Christmas so we’re not sure what is happening. They usually put boards out advertising the market a day or two in advance & we will pass the usual sites for the boards en route to the butcher. We’ll also get a few Xmas cards to friends delivered.

Last night we heard the sad news that a friend from Arnside days had died. Ellie was a wonderful person. By the time we got to know her well she was a retired nurse. She’d taken early retirement & was still spending a lot of time providing aromatherapy for cancer sufferers. It is ironic she herself has died from cancer. She was always a busy person – a lay preacher, parish visitor, grandmother of several children. Nothing was ever too much for her.

One year, we had a Christmas of several days with out power in our all electric flat surrounded by sub-zero temperatures and snow. It was Ellie who came down every day with flasks of tea, filled hot water bottles, mountains of toast for our breakfast. In the evening, she invited us to spend it in the warmth of their home even though the family was coming & going. A truly caring person the world is poorer for losing. My heart goes out to her husband, Ged, & her family.

 I admit, though, we weren’t surprised to hear of her demise. Last time I spoke to her she was losing the battle against cancer & sounding as though she was tiring of the fight. Sadly the cancer won.

On its way

It’s one of those beautiful mornings. The temperature is -11ْC. It was a cold night last night. I must be one of the few who sweated through the night – my internal heating system has gone back to my normal, full on at night, off in the day. The sky is a brilliant, quite watery, azure. Roofs, cars, fences, lawns, shrubs, the whole world is covered with a thick layer of frosted white – quite a transformation.

I much prefer days like this. It may be cold but it is cheering. You can wrap up against the cold but there’s nothing cheering about damp grey days. What is more, I sometimes think the damp gnaws into your bones in a way this arctic chill does not. That gnawing is unavoidable & does nothing for my aches.

We’re beginning to feel Christmas is on its way. I’m under way with the Christmas cards. Most of those that need posting are posted. We’ve got the Christmas tree down from the attic space. This afternoon we’re intending to buy a little something for Angie, our home help, to show our appreciation for all her help over the year. The Christmas dinner went well. It was good to see old friends, some of whom we hadn’t seen since the summer.

Yesterday, when we went down to the village pub, we were surprised to discover we’d won a couple of prizes in the Lancashire Day raffle. Now the Fox has a fleece to keep him warm & I have a box of chocs ready for Xmas. It feels a bit as though Christmas has arrived early.

On a non-festive note I’ve got my appointment for the MRI scan. It’s in the period between Christmas & New Year. I will be glad to get it done, then hopefully we will have a clearer idea of how severe the pancreatitis is, & whether any permanent damage has been done. I don’t feel as though there should have been as my abdomen has been fairly pain-free since my hospital stay, the odd twinge but that’s about it. Even my weight seems to be stabilising a bit now, which I would have thought was a good sign. I’m due to go to see the specialist again in January so hopefully something a bit more positive will be said. I’m certainly hoping we can start to plan a holiday in warmer climes.

An Escape

We escape to Snatchems in the afternoon. At this time of year, one of the joys of sitting in the conservatory there is that you can watch the sun setting over the river Lune. As I’ve said before this area has some fabulous sunsets as there is an unobstructed view to the west.

Last night was one of purples, pinks, oranges & brilliant glowing bright, almost turquoise, blue. The great advantage of this vantage point is that the sunset is reflected in the waters of the Lune. In places the water is as flat as any mirror; in others the strong current produces surface ripples which make the setting sun’s colour dance.

Shape is given if you look across the river to the Pennine fells on the other side of the water. Electricity pylons stride across the horizon taking the power from our local power station to the rest of the country. We are reminded of Stephen Spender’s poem “The Pylons”, a poem we both studied as part of our English Literature ‘O’ level course many years ago. For Spender pylons were a modern phenomenon. For us the wind turbines on the opposite side of the river play the same role as symbols of “the quick perspective of the future”. I wonder what future generations will find as symbols of their changing times.

Puzzled

I confess to being very puzzled. I’ve just rung the surgery to find out the results of my blood tests. All normal. Does this mean I’m miraculously cured? I can’t believe that when the blood was taken just a couple of days after a very worried specialist at the hospital reckoned I was suffering from severe pancreatitis.  Maybe it’s just as well that I’m due to go back to see that man early in the new year.

My next job is to ring back to that charity that helped me with my application for my benefit. The letter confirming my success has arrived.

Neither the Fox nor I can make much sense of it. If the Department of Works & Pensions (DWP) hadn’t phoned me last week I’m not even sure I would have realised I had got it! As it is I can’t work out whether or not I’ve got to take some action as a result.

The problem is that the DWP clearly seems to send the same standard letter whether you have been awarded the benefit or not, whether you are a new applicant or are renewing an existing benefit. The letter tries to cover all situations with the result it covers none. I’m hoping the charity can explain a few things.

By way of relief, I’m off to Rio de Janeiro with my jigsaw. That’s the sort of puzzle I’m happy to get lost in, & avoid the confusions of life.

On the way

My eyes are stinging. Why? I’ve just been grinding spices, blending them with onion, ginger & garlic to make a spicy paste to act as a marinade. We’re having pork vindaloo tonight. The meat is duly sitting in all that spiciness. However, in the process, the sharp spiciness of chilli mixed with vinegar & onion juices has got in my eyes. It’s a relief to have a little sit down before I get onto the next stage of the dinner – the actual cooking.

It’s food shop day once again. We’ve had a phase of sub-zero days so a good warm-up from a hot curry has real appeal as well as being quick & easy to warm up when we get back. Admittedly today is back to grey & wet, though milder.

For once we have no appointments this week. I’m half dreading ringing the surgery to get the results of my blood tests taken a fortnight ago. I expect them to be odd so I’m half-expecting to be called in to have them explained & to make further enquiries into my state of health. I just want a full week in which to relax a bit – no doctors, no hospitals or surgeries. Being ill has become a full time occupation. It’s exhausting!

Admittedly I was surprised when my cousin Ann rang at the weekend. She was concerned to discover if I’d had any diagnosis yet. She’s a retired nurse so has a keen interest in medical matters. When I told her yes, pancreatitis, she audibly gasped, shocked by the answer. Apparently, when she was training in the late 1960s/early 1970s, if a patient came in with pancreatitis they were expected to soon die. She hastily tried to reassure me things have improved. She knows people who have successfully managed it for years. I tried to reassure her that since my hospital stay I have felt much better. I’ve only had a few twinges, the sort of thing I wouldn’t have noted if it hadn’t been for my experiences earlier this year. I can’t believe I’m on death’s doorstep when I feel so much better & the medics are even on my case now. I still can’t help getting annoyed when I think of the doctor the second time I went to A&E, who reckoned I had a mild case of constipation & was wasting her time. She needs to do more training urgently.

Meanwhile the area around us is lighting up. Increasingly Christmas decorations are going up in house windows. Garden trees are illuminated. Santas & snowmen appear on roofs. And this is only the first week of December! We’ve even received our first Christmas card. Hand delivered by our next door neighbour. I’ve hastily dug out our cards & made a list of who to send to. That’s clearly the next job to settle down to whenever I have a minute to spare. Admittedly we had our roast turkey on Saturday. We prefer to do it early and use some nice slices warmed in a mustardy cheesy creamy mix on the day – less hassle & therefore less exhausting & more time & energy to enjoy ourselves. We’re off to a Xmas dinner later this week with other former members of Geriatrics’ Corner. It will be good to see them all again. So maybe Christmas really is on its way.

Back to the hospital yet again

We got back from the hospital to see the answerphone flashing – a call from a different department of the hospital asking me to call in to collect my new knee braces. If we’d known before we could have got them while we were at the hospital. Now we have another trip into Lancaster to the hospital today.

 At least we don’t have to go in during rush hour as we did yesterday. The drive was made worse by the fact we were driving almost due east early on a very bright sunny day. The sun was low in the sky with the result half the time you had difficulty even seeing the car in front of you. There was just so much glare. It was a relief to be behind a heavy (usually Irish from the ferry). The tall container did block the sun a bit making visibility easier.

Today we will go in the afternoon. We’ve decided to make a day of it. It’s another bright if cold day (just under -10˚C). 

We put a meat order with one of the usual stalls at the Farmers’ Market. Unfortunately the market was cancelled so we hadn’t been able to collect our order. The farm has a shop but it is on far side of Lancaster from us. As you will probably have realised we avoid Lancaster as much as possible. The traffic is a nightmare at the best of times & parking isn’t much better. As we have to go along the same route for both the farm & the hospital we thought we’d combine the two in one trip. 

So today it’s hospital first. Then we thought we would go along to Glasson Dock, to the smokehouse, to get some smoked salmon as an Xmas treat – it can go in the freezer ready. Then we will return via Conder Green & the farm to collect our meat. 

As by this time it will be evening rush hour for Lancaster, we thought we would stop for a meal while we were still on the south of the city. There's a couple of pubs nearby that serve reasonable food so we'll try one of them.That way by the time we're ready to cross the city the traffic should have eased considerably.

It will make a pleasant day out. Glasson itself is quite a pretty little place. We always seem to be visiting it on freezing days in the middle of winter. We haven’t eaten a main meal out for ages so that too should be a treat, a bit of a celebrate of the news concerning my benefits. The news yesterday at the hospital was good too.