The Oxcliffe Vixen

On the up

2012-02-02T11:26:00.006Z

I'm beginning to think things are looking a bit brighter. Maybe it's just we've managed to beat the letter to the bank into a shape I think we can both agree on. Maybe it's the return of blue skies cheering up the scene before me. Maybe it's the flashes of gold & white of crocuses & snowdrops that have appeared in the garden Maybe it's the lengthening days. When we get home, usually around 5pm, it's once more light, even if it does still rapidly darken. Maybe just admitting there is a problem is half the solution. Whatever the cause I am definitely feeling brighter.

Other worries remain. The benefit tome hasn't arrived yet. It probably won't for another month or two. The uncertainty over the benefits doesn't help deciding on holidays as it makes it difficult to know when to go (we will need to be here once the process starts) or how much we can afford (especially if they reduce the benefits somehow). But I am settling down once more to looking at brochures & dreaming - a holiday in itself.

I am also definitely looking forward to the fox's culinary experiment for tonight's dinner, Bonfire Night Sausage Hotpot.

The Birdwatch

2012-02-01T11:20:00.000Z

While I was on-line yesterday, I put in my bird observations for the RSPB Garden Birdwatch.

On Monday, at the Pub, Al, our gardener, had commented that he'd done the birdwatch. He sat for an hour & in that time all he could see in his garden was 3 house sparrows. He'd found it frustrating as he could hear tits, even a woodpecker, nearby but no sighting. His garden is adorned with feeders. The problem is that he also has a cat who sits hungrily watching the said feeders. The birds are too scared to visit.

By way of contrast we had no fewer than 16 starlings, 4 magpies, 4 blackbirds, a blue tit, a great tit, a house sparrow & a collared dove. The number of coloured doves in particular has gone down this year. I have noticed a pile of pale grey feathers on the edge of the flower bed. I suspect that's the last of that dove. There is no sign of a body but I suspect it was the falcon that sometimes visits. The other great loss is in the number of house sparrows. We used to regularly have double figures, but no more it would seem. Is that the consequence of last year's vicious winder? Indeed it is mainly the smaller birds that have reduced in number. Or is it that the increased number of bigger birds is intimidating the little one? I wonder.

Splendour & gloom

2012-01-31T11:57:00.000Z

As so often on a Monday, we toodle down to the Pub, picking up PD on the way. We go along the prom. As the Bay opens out before us, as we near the iconic Midland Hotel (an Art Deco gem) we both gasp. The sheer magnificence of the view beyond is breathtaking. The waters are so still like an ice-blue mill-pond. Beyond soar the thickly snow-capped Lakeland fells. The snow almost had a pinkish cast; the shadows of the contours a deep blue. Absolutely fabulous. As the road twists again, away from the Bay, the snow-clad Pennines dominate the horizon, continuing the beauty.

Before we left the pub, Brenda came in. Now retired, she used to work at another nearby pub with accommodation. She couldn't help relating how often some Americans staying there, would come & tell her they'd just been to see the lake. She had to tell them it wasn't a lake but a bay. It's just that the water was so still, with no signs of a current, let alone a wave, they'd assumed it must be a lake rather than sea. Yesterday was one such day.

This was the bright spark of the day. I have to admit I've been dragging myself around of late. Everything just seems to be taking that much longer to do. I feel under pressure, things to be done but I don't have the energy to do them. That's probably why I've not written the last couple of days.

I've been trying to decide why this should be. It's partly I'm unhappy about my letter to the bank. I know they're offering far less than they ought to, but I'm not really in a position to force them to pay up more. I can't seem to focus my thoughts properly & there is a time schedule necessitating a quick decision.

It's partly because I'm aware of the fact my benefits are up for renewal later this year & I'm half expecting the brick of a form to come through the letter box any day. Not only is the form intimidating to fill but, from press reports, it sounds as if the government has changed the rules once more, making it even harder to get the benefits which I am certain I deserve. I know I am not fit to work by any measure.

Maybe it's partly the number of grey damp days we've had of late.

Partly, too, I am tired. I've just finished taking the pills I have to take in the middle of the night. Admittedly it's not helped by the fact my nights have on occasion been disrupted by the odd stomach pain.

Whatever the reason, I'm in no state to make any decisions or focus on anything very much, not even on where or when to go on holiday. What is worse, I'm aware I'm being unreasonable with the Fox. Everything he says just seems to put more pressure on but I know he doesn't mean that way. He's just making conversation. There's something amiss in my head. I suspect it comes down to fact I'm getting depressed again.

Formal letters

2012-01-27T11:55:00.001Z

There's something about writing formal letters that I dread. It's not that I can't write them - our letters have been kept as models of how such a letter should be written - but I hate doing them. Informal letters I have no problem with. Then I sit down, imagine the potential reader and chat away to them - rather as I write my blog in fact. Formal letters are a different matter.

With these, I need a far higher level of concentration. It is more important to be absolutely clear as to what you are explaining, wanting. I almost feel a need to disassociate myself from them, to reveal no aspect of my personality, to exert a discipline which is unnatural to me, quite alien. At the same time, sometimes there is a need to hide somethings whilst give hints at others that may or may not be so, to indicate a higher level of knowledge, of understanding, than I sometimes feel I have. It's a kind of poker game in which you need to keep your own hand hidden to win, to achieve your purpose in writing the letter. Each word has to take on a level of import far higher, nearer akin to the precision involved in writing poetry.

As I say I hate writing formal letters. We're in the midst of a dispute with a bank at the moment. You can tell I've just been drafting out a replying letter. For me it's an unwanted ordeal, which it will be a relief when it's over & I can once more retreat into my world of jigsaws (currently a Leonardo painting), friends, food & birds. On the other hand I'm not prepared to let the bank just walk right over us, for lack of effort on my part.

Food matters

2012-01-26T10:26:00.000Z

It's Farmers' Market day today. We're hoping to get there, not that we need much this time. We still have plenty in the freezer & I seem to be having an urge for chicken, fish & veg, none of which are particularly well done at our market. Still I am hoping for some smoked salmon from the local smokehouse, some sausages from our usual source. I may even buy some lamb from there. Our usual salt march lamb man will not be there this month unfortunately. We do prefer that meat.

After that, on Farmers' Market day, we've taken to popping down to our local village pub & having a spot of lunch - a meal we don't usually indulge in but once in a while is a real pleasure, a bit of a treat. It will be just a snack.

This evening I'm planning on making some smoked salmon souffles. I don't often make souffles these days. I used to make them several times a week but they are a bit faffy & can't really be prepared in advance.

I may even use the new saucepans we bought yesterday. We finally decided new pans were needed. I'm quite happy with our old cast iron ones, but, since his stroke, the Fox is having difficulty with their weight, especially if they are full of food or hot liquids. His left hand remains weak & doesn't seem to be improving much. Besides the cast iron pans can't go in the dishwasher & now we use that device more it seems a pity not to be able to do the pans in it.

Yesterdays Thai green curry was fabulous, a real hit - hot & spicy, at the same time creamy. The Chilean torrontes wine we had was the perfect accompaniment. The one enhanced the other & vice versa.

Grey day

2012-01-25T09:52:00.000Z

I'm half-expecting the phone to go any minute. The drain's blocked once more. The yard is becoming slippery as the greasy fluid escapes from the drain across the yard. We don't have to go out today so it's a good day to get it settled. I've even got a quiet morning as the Fox is dong the cooking today. He's making a Thai green chicken curry in Big Ears, the slow cooker. That means there's nothing for me to prepare, not even peeling some spuds to accompany the meal.

We went to the Pub yesterday. It wasn't the most cheerful of events. PD is still not comfortable with his eye. He's still getting headaches & spasms of pain in the eye. He's still not sleeping well which is making him very dopey. He is somewhat perturbed to discover that the corneas on both his eyes are loose - probably the result of his rugby days or the time he blacked out, landing flat on his face while on holiday in Crete.

On top of which Tony, the power station worker, came in. His wife left him for another man last year. He's still adjusting to that. It didn't help with it being yet another grey wet day. That gets everybody's spirits down. He was going on about his son, now in his late teens/early twenties. He still can't find a job. After school, the son went on to college, studying joinery. Now he's trained, the building trade has collapsed & no-one's taking on extra staff at the moment. He's beginning to give up. It seems so sad when a youngster can't get that first foot on the ladder.

The one bright spark is that the Pub manager has got engaged. They're not intending to marry for a couple of years, until after his fiancee has graduated. It always seems strange to me to have a long engagement. The whole point of getting engaged is to get yourselves organised for the wedding & life together afterwards. That doesn't take years. Or does it these days?

You may have guessed. Today's another one of those grey damp days that doesn't fill me with much cheer. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Birds

2012-01-22T11:32:00.000Z

The day looks bright enough, but the wind is back. I''ve just been out to feed the birds. Yesterday we had our own roast turkey, a 6kg bird. It was stuffed with orange which gave it a difference of flavour. There is plenty of left over skin & not so nice looking bits, all off which are for the birds. In some way it is a pity it isn't the weekend of the great RSPB bird count. I suspect we will have plenty of avian visitors with such bounty to appeal to them. But that is next weekend. Once again I'm intending to spend an hour or so birdwatching & noting what I see. I quite enjoy dong it.

But first there's another week to go through.

Not an auspicious year

2012-01-21T11:06:00.000Z

January certainly seems to have brought its problems.

First of the casualties was Mrs B, the retired headmistress. She bent to blow out a candle. She thought she was going to start a nosebleed, to which she is rather prone. Fearing she would get blood all over the carpet, & knowing the current medical advice in the event of a nosebleed, she threw her head back. Unfortunately she did it so violently, she lost her balance, hit the back of her head on a table with the result there was even more blood all over the carpet. An ambulance had to rush out to take her to A&E. It was feared she'd broken her neck, but it's turned out she's just got very severe whiplash. For the last three weeks she's not been able to get out of her flat. She's only just got to the stage of being able to get to the door to open it if any one comes round. Fortunately she has a large family, living locally, with keys, who have been round every day, getting her up, feeding her, washing her, shopping for her, even picking up things she has dropped.

Then came the ambulance for our neighbour, Dave, which I have already written about.

Thursday evening, PD got an infection in his eye. He rubbed it & in the process scratched the cornea. They operated immediately, so it should recover fully. So yesterday, he went to the Pub, a patch over one very sore eye. He's back at the hospital on Monday to check it's doing well.

This morning I've been phoning the walking wounded to discover the reason why Fran & Den didn't arrive at the Pub was because Fran had passed out for a couple of hours earlier in the week. In the end Den had rung for the ambulance to take her into A&E comatose. She woke up, unaware what had happened. They suspect she'd had a stroke, but presumably more tests will be needed to make a clearer diagnosis. She, too, is home.

Suddenly my stomach gripes of this year seem minor. They still keep playing up occasionally but are becoming more & more apart & less severe. I'm still half-expecting to have to go & see the GP another time.

And that's not to mention the trip a dear old friend in Yorkshire had to make to A&E. Or my cousin Ann having to cope with the chemotherapy courses she's having to undergo to treat her cancer.

2012 does not seem to have brought much good health this year so far! Let's hope things improve as the year goes on!

Pre-Raphealite observations

2012-01-20T11:02:00.000Z

I've finished both my Pre-Raphaelite jigsaws, both by Rossetti.

I was struck by how white, almost alabaster-like his skin tones were. Much as I appreciate redheads usually do have pale skin, this seemed too white. My own skin is paler than most redheads & blondes but not this white. Even allowing for the fact it was fashionable at the time for ladies, or aspiring to be ladies, of quality, to cover up, to avoid tans, this is unnaturally pale.

As for that hair, so red & golden. My step-brother once recalled my hair as being something like that colour when I was just a child. It was also very long, way below my waist. I think his description of the colour is a bit of an exaggeration. My memory of the colour was much browner, more the colour of a ripe horse chestnut. There was definitely a red gingery element, which in the right light did shine out, but generally it was the brown that was more noticeable. These days it's grey, rapidly becoming silver. It's been more that colour than anything else for the last 20 years if not longer.

The other things that struck me was the vividness of the red of lips & cheeks. Clearly lipstick & rouge of some sort must of been used if this is anything like an accurate representation of the model. I never really thick of make-up being used that much in Victorian times, except by harlots. But then, I suppose, when I think of Elizabeth I, she, too painted her lips & reddened her cheeks & that was long before the 19th century.

Hands, too, seemed very much a feature. They were very carefully drawn & yet the position of the fingers looked very unnatural, very demanding, quite painful, for a model to maintain for any length of time.

Other features which struck me included an urge to capture something of the texture & richness of fabrics, the way the clothes fell. The backgrounds were also lavish, no plain colour wash here. Instead we have heavily patterned wallpapers, William Morris inspired, I suspect.

It's been interesting. I look forward to doing these jigsaws again to discover new depths & further insights.

Memories

2012-01-18T11:41:00.000Z

What a difference a day can make. Today I once more was up in the gloom of 8.30am. Grey damp days have returned. I much prefer the icy chill of the bright winter's days we've had of late. You can wrap against the chill & the blue sky sends a song to my heart. I hope such days return again soon.

Readers of the Fox's blog will know of our trip out to Silverdale & its hotel. In the '90s it became a favourite watering hole for us. It was lovely to sit out in the garden on warm summer days, eating & drinking. That was particularly valuable then, as we had discovered the one big disadvantage of living in an upstair non-purpose built flat. Heat rises. Our kitchen was tiny, with only a very small window. It got rapidly hot in there even in winter with no heating in the flat except in our lounge. In summer it could become unbearble. Escape to the gardens of the Silverdale Hotel & its beer garden was a lifeline.

The hotel itself has had a few changes. One great improvement is that now there are foldable dividing doors between the lounge area & the conservatory. There used to be just a thick curtain which was never sufficient in winter to keep out the draughts from the unheated conservatory. Apart from that, seats have been re-covered but remain the same low chairs. It's recognisably the same place, even to having a designated non-smoking room - a bit obsolescent these days!

On the way there we passed by our old cottage at Crag Foot, our first home as newly weds. As we headed on to Silverdale you could see the twitchers were out, binoculars to eye. This area is part of, or adjoins, the RSPB Leighton Moss bird sanctuary, as did our cottage. We couldn't see at first what had attracted so much interest. Then we passed fields full of wild geese, great flocks. We didn't stop to identify them.

On the way back we returned over Warton Crag. I remembered one day when I'd had a letter to contact the Job Centre immediately. The Fox had the car. He was at college for the day. We had no telephone. I had no appropriate change for the public telephone so I set off to Warton in search of small change. In those days only two buses went along that way, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. The morning one had already gone pass. I set off. I walked the couple of miles to Warton. By then the shops in Warton had all closed for lunch. On I walked to Carnforth, where I eventually got some change. I made the phone call to discover it was a waste of time. Then of course I had the walk back.

Those were the days. These days I couldn't even begin to think of doing that. I couldn't even get to the end of the road, let alone so many miles. Oh what it is to be young!

All straightened out

2012-01-17T10:39:00.000Z

We did indeed get to the Pub. As predicted there was a colourful sunset. In some ways it wasn't as spectacular as those last week. The day itself wasn't as sharp, so the fells the other side of the bay had disappeared in a haze. As the day grew darker, inevitably this meant you didn't have the dark sharps of the fells standing out in the band between sands & heavens. The colours, too, were more muted but quite lovely nonetheless. The water had a more silvery blue tone. The tide was on its way in, so there was a fair amount of water to reflect the light. What really struck me was the band of colour. It had never occurred to me how a sunset could be like a rainbow, straightened from its arched shape, the colour bands broadened out. As the sky rose from the sands & water, it was red, then orange, yellow, green, blue,indigo. It never quite got to violet. By then it had disappeared into the blackness of the oncoming night sky. I've never really been so struck by the green band as I was yesterday.

Good news about Dave. It turned out not too serious. I was reassured when I saw him walking out of the house to the ambulance, rather than being wheeled out. I saw Fran, his wife, today. Apparently he'd had chest pains & then panicked, rather than taking a few slow deep breaths to calm down. She thinks the root cause was indigestion. She'd been out at work when the attack began, but she's reasonably confident this was the cause. Anyhow, he's staying in hospital at the moment for a few tests & observation, but he's out of pain now & she expects to be bringing him home later today. Hope so.

And meanwhile I get on with preparing our dinner. Yesterday's chicken & sweetcorn stew was a great success. The pinch of cayenne pepper the Fox added really lifted it from the mediocre. I just hope my sausage plait will be as successful. It should be as I'm using the pork & black pudding sausage meat used in our favourite sausages from our favourite stall at the Farmers' market. I'll get it all put together this morning. Then it can wait in the fridge until we get back from our food shop this afternoon. We're not doing much shopping, just a top-up, mainly tins of kippers, milk & potatoes.

Quiet day or not so quiet day

2012-01-16T10:18:00.000Z

It looks set to be another quiet day. When I woke 2am-ish my stomach ached, but nowhere as bad as it has of late. I don't think it was of such severity to wake me, just for me to be aware of a bruising when I did wake anyhow. This being so I've not made a doctor's appointment.

The Fox has got out Big Ears, our slow cooker once more. On our trips to Lancaster we had a quick look at a stationery/bookshop. Apart from the two Rossetti jigsaws I've already mentioned we picked up a couple of slow-cook books. The Fox is eagerly trying out one of the new recipes, a chicken & sweetcorn stew. It certainly smells good. That will just have to be warmed up this evening.

PD has just rung. He's keen to go to the Pub this afternoon. I suspect we will probably go along. It's another brilliant blue skied frosty morning. I'm hoping, if it stays like this, we will have yet another fabulous sunset to see as we come back home. Here's hoping!

Oh no! Another ambulance with flashing lights has just drawn up at our neighbour's. Don't say Dave, our neighbour who was rushed into hospital not long before Christmas, has had another heart attack. His wife was only saying last week, he was feeling better than he has for months, if not years. Fingers crossed for him.

Some pictures

2012-01-15T12:11:00.000Z

I'm not very inspired with fresh thoughts today. Maybe it's the fact I've just completed the week's ironing. It does tend to blank out thought in the process. Anyhow, I thought instead I would offer you a few pictures. I seem to have been going on about the fabulous sunsets we have in this area. We don't seem to have taken many pictures since we've moved to Morecambe, except that is our holiday snaps, so these are of an older vintage but they are taken around Morecambe Bay. I hope you enjoy them.

Arnside

Silverdale

(I'm sorry about the big space at the top of this blog, but I don't seem to be able to get rid of it today. I'm having one of my computer glitch days!)

A three part tale

2012-01-14T10:52:00.000Z

Today the thin patina of ice of yesterday has turned into a hard crust of silvery whiteness. It was a cold. night.

Well, they've finally got back the results of the tests. No signs of internal bleeding. No sign of food poisoning or the stomach bug that's been doing the rounds here. In fact no sign of anything abnormal. So I ask the receptionist, a particularly vacant young-sounding lass, what does that mean. Do I need to make a doctor's appointment?

"Oh, I don't know" she vaguely replied. "Are you still having problems?"

I'm forced to admit I have felt a lot better the last couple of days.

"The don't bother," she says.

I'm left to wonder if I stop taking the muscle relaxants before the usual time the spasms strike, would the cramps return. So last night I didn't bother taking the pills to pre-empt the spasms, and, lo and behold, the cramps did return. As it's the weekend, I've decided to take the pills again tonight but not bother again on Sunday night and see what happens. If the pain returns I'll make the appointment. If not, I'll assume whatever the cause, it's something that's passed.

I can't help thinking of Jean, who died last November, who constantly complained of stomach pains, being rushed into hospital with them, & yet it took them over a year to diagnose that she had cancer. This lack of not knowing the cause of my pains does not reassure me & I don't want to be in Jean's position.

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In the afternoon, after doing some shopping, we adjourned to the Pub. There was a good turn out. Most of the usual group were there. Come the evening, as we got in the car in the car park, you could see the wonderful colours of the sunset behind the trees. We set off down the slope towards the Bay, catching glimpses of the latter as we went. Having dropped PD off at his home, we decided to make our own way home along the prom. The view was fabulous. The land was a dark blue/grey. Above was a wide band of oranges & yellow, which reflected in the oh so still water in the Bay. The higher sky was a luminous ice blue.

As the road turned as a smaller bay appeared, the wet sands where the tide had receded, reflected the blue of the higher sky. The little puddles of still water reflected the oranges. Gorgeous. Everything so still - not a ripple on the water. Occasional dark blue/grey clouds drifted across the sky. Across the bay the occasional light twinkled in the houses of the villages of the Lakes, our very own land-based stars. Absolutely fabulous.

This area is famed for its sunsets and this was a stunner.

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In the evening, after dinner, we decide to open a bottle of wine to a bit of jazz, a bit of Billie & Ella. Beforehand we had made up a marinade for the chicken we're going to roast today for dinner. I'd rubbed the spices into the bird. Although I had washed my hands thoroughly, every time I brought the glass up to my mouth, my nose picked up the smells of the sweet spices, cinnamon & ginger, from my hands. The marinade also had some clementines & garlic in. I love the smell of cinnamon. We're very curious how the chicken will work out. We'll find out this evening.

Skies

2012-01-13T10:17:00.001Z

As I remained so tired, despite an afternoon lie-down, & nothing would spoil, we decided to abandon the idea of the salmon & eat out for once. We just went down to our local village pub. As we went from the car, sharp cries could be heard from the woods behind. Looking that way, I couldn't help but notice the colour of the sky, gloriously streaked with purples, oranges, pinks. A plane flew overhead & even the vapour trail became a brilliant fuschia pink. Fabulous.

We seem to have had some wonderful skies lately. One night last week, we were struck by a huge, almost perfectly circular, silver disc in the sky - the moon, bigger than I think I've ever seen it in these northern parts. Within this disc, the greyness of the mountainous lunar terrain formed what almost looked like two eyes, a nose & a big smile. It was easy to understand how people came to believe there was a man in the moon.

But today we are back to brilliant blue. Everything is covered with a thin patina of frost. I'm half-contemplating that trip for the salmon but it just looks so cold. I'm not sure I fancy it, especially when I know we will have to go out later to day. The Fox's new glasses have arrived, so we will have to make a trip into Lancaster. He will be relieved to get them. He expects the others, with their temporary repair, to give up at any time & feels very restricted without them.

Looking forward to a quiet day

2012-01-12T10:40:00.000Z

For the first time in what seems ages, the sun is shining. Blue skies reign over us.

I'm intending to cook salmon for us today. A bit of me thinks it would be good to go out on the Mean Machine. I've not used it for ages. Another bit of me feels no. It will be cold & I am very very tired.

Last night I fell into bed at about 6.30 pm & didn't rise until 7.30 am. I took some sleeping pills. They well & truly knocked me out. I start on the pills I take in the middle of the night tonight so this was my last opportunity to take some sleeping pills & ensure a solid sleep. Even with the muscle relaxants I'm still waking most nights about 2am with stomach pains, not as severe but nonetheless sufficient to wake me & keep me awake for several hours. Though I will admit, yesterday, for the first time since Christmas, I did get through the daytime without a single ache. Maybe the problem is passing. I'm still waiting sample results to confirm what is the cause of the problem.

Surprise, surprise, my blood pressure was high. I've got another appointment for next month.

I think what really did it for me yesterday was the Big Food Shop. It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes you end up buying, for one week, either a few expensive items, or a lot of small cheap ones. This week was the latter variety. Full of fresh fruit & veg. The lad at the till reckoned he'd passed through the cheapest item he'd ever seen - fresh ginger 2p. Well, there's not a lot of point in buying more than you need. It never seems to keep that well.

Today should be a quiet day. Apart from going off to buy some fish, there's nothing else that has to be done. We're hoping by then to have heard from the opticians so may go into Lancaster. We'll see. Or we may just have a lazy afternoon of it.

Meanwhile I'm tackling some new jigsaws the Fox bought me - a couple of Rossetti paintings. I enjoy fine art jigsaws in that, while you are examining the pieces so carefully to join them up, you find yourself gaining a greater appreciation of the artist who produced the original artwork. You discover the looseness of Monet's flicks of paint, the searing pain of Van Gogh, the incredible skill in moving from skin tone to fabric with Leonardo. Sometimes I'm struck by the use of a particular colour can sometimes give a cohesion to a painting which otherwise would be lacking. I wonder what I will discover with Rossetti.

Getting things done

2012-01-11T11:05:00.000Z

It's off to the surgery again this afternoon. This time it's for my blood pressure. You may remember before Christmas it was rather high, so they we want to check it again. At least we've got past the stresses caused by the deaths & illness that beset us & our friends then. Some problems haven't entirely resolved themselves but the level of stress has reduced. The only real cause of anxiety at the moment is our own health, mine in particular. Hopefully my blood pressure should be more normal. The results of the tests from my GP visit last week are not expected until nearer the end of the week, then we should be closer to knowing the cause & hopefully some treatment which is more efficacious at easing some of my aches & pains.

Monday we ended rushing into Lancaster to sort out some glasses for the Fox. The arm had come off his reading pair & he ended up feeling unable to do anything, to cook, to read, anything. In Lancaster one of the opticians do a one-hour service so into Lancaster we went. Of course the person who makes new specs up was on holiday while it is so quiet in the post-Christmas period. They did manage to at least do a temporary job affixing a mismatch arm on. Hopefully that will last until the 2 new pairs he's ordered will be ready later in the week. He's decided on 2 pairs in the thought he shouldn't be stranded if one pair breaks. They surely can't both break at the same time! No harm in hoping. And, of course, it will mean another trip into Lancaster later this week.

Familiar territory

2012-01-08T13:26:00.000Z

On Friday I finally decided the time had come to see the GP. My stomach problems seem to have been steadily worsening.

So I rang up for an appointment. Our surgery uses a push button system. Faced with the options of a routine doctor's appointment or an urgent appointment, I opted for routine. After all I'd had the problem for a fortnight already so I didn't think it was really an emergency. When I got through to a real person I was told the earliest appointment was next Tuesday. I asked if there was any chance of something earlier. She asked me what the problem was, consulted her protocol & instantly said she would transfer me to the emergency line.

This came as a bit of a shock. Even more so, when I spoke to the second receptionist & explained the problem a second time. She instantly organised me an appointment half an hour later. It was that urgent!

When I did see the doctor, his conclusion was that it had nothing to do with food poisoning or a stomach bug. Instead he is confident that I am suffering from internal bleeding as a reaction to some of my medication, & so becoming anaemic. Anti-inflammatory drugs are notorious for doing this, especially if you are on them for a long time. I've been on my present ones for 10 years or so. He's given me some anti-cramping pills to keep me going until he gets the results of tests. Meanwhile if I get any worse I am to get back to the surgery IMMEDIATELY.

Oh dear, this sounds awfully familiar. I was in a similar situation in 2000 when my then doctor was reluctant to let me go away to attend a wedding unless I promised if I felt any worse I would instantly go off to the local hospital.

Let's hope it all gets settled soon.

Meanwhile yesterday we had a day out & ventured over to Arnside, where we used to live. This was partially as a longer drive for the Fox. It's some 19 miles away. It has reassured us both that the Fox should cope with a bit further a drive after a flight if we do go away on holiday.

It was surprising to see some of the changes since we left in 2000. There's now a wheelchair accessible fine art gallery where there was once a Victorian style bank. The shop I used to work in has now been extended into the next door shop. The Pub has been extended, making it wheelchair accessible & providing an extensive restaurant part. A few familiar faces came in, though they didn't seem to recognise us.

Arnside is a very pretty village even on a grey day. We questioned whether we regretted the move. It was a matter of necessity rather than desire. But no, we have no regrets. We feel so much more at home here, even though we lived in Arnside for over 20 years. The convenience of having shops & other facilities within just a few minutes drive is great. The views across the Bay here are almost as good as those as the Kent estuary empties out into the Bay at Arnside. No, we are happy & have no desire to move back.

Dilemmas

2012-01-05T11:22:00.000Z

Now the banshees are visiting. No longer do we just have the sound of the wind battering on the house, the rain slashing on the windows, we also have the banshees whistling down the chimney. It just seems to be never stopping. We're grateful we went to the expense of re-roofing the house a couple of years back, otherwise we would be very worried indeed.

To escape, I'm looking at our holiday brochures & dreaming of warm sunny days, lands of blue skies. In particular we are hoping to go self-catering in France once more.

We've usually enjoyed this type of holiday. It's always a bit of a chore locating a wheelchair accessible property - some have turned out more successful than others - but now we have another consideration. How far will the Fox be able to drive after a flight? Since the stroke, the only long drive he has done, was to Stoke. The drive took it's toll, but then that was in June, not long after his stroke at the end of March, & he is doing a lot better now than then. Since that June trip the furthest he's driven is to Carnforth, approximately 10 miles away. That we know he can confidently do most days, but could he go further? Even as a passenger he did find the 80 mile taxi drive to Manchester airport when we went on our Rhine cruise in the autumn exhausting. There's no point in finding the most wonderful gite if he isn't up to driving there. Once there we can just potter, but we need to find the right spot to stay. So, how far should we allow between airport & gite? Anyone's guess.

Wild

2012-01-04T11:04:00.000Z

My stomach still rumbles on. I keep thinking maybe I ought to see the doc. I just get ready to do so when either I'm feeling a bit better & feel it therefore would be a waste of time, or I'm up too late to ring the surgery for an appointment which has to be done before 9am. Normally 9am is fine for me. I'm rarely still in bed at that hour, but these stomach cramps have left me not getting off to sleep until after 4am so, not surprisingly, I'm not very prompt at waking up in the morning. Indeed yesterday I couldn't believe it when I noticed the clock to see it was already 11am & I was still eating breakfast! At least today is a better day. My tum's feeling more itself & I was feeling up earlier, ready to go.

So much for my health. I'm just grateful the Fox seems to be doing a lot better than I am.

Yesterday we did manage a venture out. It was wild. All morning, brief as it was, the wind had been howling so much I'd had to put the volume up on the radio to hear it above the noises from outside.

When we did venture out in the afternoon, we went along the prom. The wind continued to blow. Poor pedestrians were trying to walk, bent forward into the wind, trying to pull scarves & collars up, anything to protect their faces, & their eyes in particular. Great drifts of sand were blowing across the prom straight into their faces, with a force that really must have stung, if not positively hurt. In parts the sand was mid-calf deep. In other parts the gravel, placed on the shore as part of the sea defences had been forced right up virtually onto the pavement & road due to the sheer force of the tide. When we got to our destination sand was clearly visible covering the car. Coming back we went a more inland route. We avoided the sand but not the wind. As we sat at the road junction waiting for the traffic to clear so we could turn, you could feel our heavy car bouncing around.

The wind still blows today. Not as bad but still blowing. I wonder what damage has been done. Clearly part of the trellis dividing the patio area & the lawn area of our garden is coming down. The birds will have to find another perch. But what else? I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't find yet more fences needing to be renewed but until these winds abate there seems little point in looking too carefully. Instead we just keep our fingers crossed, hope for the best, & stay snug inside, in the warmth.

Catching up

2012-01-01T11:46:00.001Z

Readers of the Fox's blog will realise why I have been silent so long. Our ill-health continues. Yesterday was one of the worst for me but come about 8pm I picked up & managed to eat a bit & see the new year in with a glass of wine. I'm relieved to say so far I'm doing much better today, managing to eat & drink fairly normally so far. I'm even hoping to get the household chores done this afternoon.

I weighed myself today, the first time since Christmas, & discovered this has clearly been one of the few Christmas periods I've even managed to lose weight. That doesn't happen often. Usually I dread looking at the scales after such a period of self-indulgence. Mind you I've not done as bad as my cousin Ann who has lost over over a stone due to the effects of the chemotherapy she's presently having for cancer. She sounds reasonably cheerful despite that & has found the treatment not as bad as she feared. We just have to wait & see if it has been effective. We won't know that for a few moths.

Meanwhile a great thump resounded around the house the other day as a pile of unrequested holiday brochures arrived in the post. I've been flipping through the pages in my more lucid moments. I feel we could do with a holiday - a bit of sunshine & relaxation, above all a bit of better health.

Anyhow to get back to what the theme of this blog was going to be. Accept my belated apologies for not getting around to it earlier in the week, but

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY READERS

MAY YOU ALL HAVE BETTER HEALTH THAN WE HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING IN 2011

MAY 2012 BRING YOU ALL PEACE & A RENEWED WONDER IN THE WORLD

An even longer night

2011-12-28T10:44:00.000Z

The exhaustion has given way to ill-health. Yesterday the Fox got up complaining of feeling shivery despite feeling red-hot to my fingers. We decided on an early dinner. Not very early as we wanted to get back to our more normal pattern of life. The Fox barely managed a couple of mouthfuls of the tagine without complaining of it being as dry as sawdust - to me it was as moist as any slow-cooked meat tends to be. He never got started on the jacket potato. The wine he managed a glass but that was about it. He abandoned the meal & staggered off to bed.

I sat & finished off some more of my meal & the bottle of wine. Then I tried to get up. I found panic setting in as I just couldn't manage it. I contemplating phoning Lin - the mobile phone I could reach without getting up & her number is in it. I could tell her the address of one of our neighbours who is a locksmith & who I'm sure could break in the locked door without causing undue damage so she could come to the rescue.

First, I thought, one final effort. I managed to get up. I hastily tidied away the remnants of food, got changed & went to bed. It may be early but there didn't seem any point in risking again not be able to get up to go to bed without assistance. So another long night was had. This time I was in bed by 6.30pm & didn't get up until 7.30am.

All this sleep is no doubt needed. I'm just hoping the Fox is feeling brighter when he gets up today, otherwise I can see I'm going to have to organise some emergency help from somewhere. I'm certainly not going to sit on any chair except my electric recliner/riser chair this afternoon or later. I'm not going to take the risk of getting stuck again. My health may be fine but my disability causes difficulties without the Fox's assistance. At times like this I become aware of just how much I depend on him to be able to do the simplest of things.

What a knockout!

2011-12-27T10:53:00.000Z

Readers of the Fox's Christmas Eve blog will realise how anxious we had become about Christmas meal out. As it turned out it was a quiet success. Geo, Lin's father, was also a guest at the feast & turned out to be a charming gentleman. He's in his 90s & looking very well on it. The food was all enjoyable. PD managed to calm down a bit so we didn't have to behave like the performing seals we feared, thank goodness.

We got home in the early evening & promptly conked out. First the Fox had an hour's nap. By then I was clearly past waking up so went to bed at just 8.15pm. I didn't wake up until 12 hours later. Even then I was back in bed by 10.30am ready for a further few hours of zizz. As I say we conked out.

Yesterday I couldn't even get my thoughts around the idea of what to do for food. In the end we went for a quick microwaveable Booth's ready meal. That was about all we felt up to, though while looking for the meal I noticed a bag of diced lamb leg which I duly got out for today. We're going Moroccan with a lamb tagine for a change. It's plopping as I write.

All this exhaustion is, I suspect, a reflection of the sheer relief of getting through the Christmas festivities & surviving. For a while I've been aware of feeling increasingly tired. Partially that's the effect of the cold - over Xmas I've finally stopped blowing although I am still coughing a bit. PD has been going on about this meal ever since we accepted the invitation months ago, Our sense of dread & general tension steadily grew as his excitement grew. Nothing, but nothing, could live up to the wonders he was intending, nay expecting. Now it's over we've just flopped. I suspect we will stay flopped for another day or two, maybe till next year, before we really take up the reins of life once more.

I hope you all had a good meal & hopefully didn't just conk out in exhaustion like us.

Fishy times

2011-12-23T11:58:00.000Z

Things have been getting very fishy of late. It began on Wednesday, when the Fox made some Aberdeen Eggs - Scotch eggs with a kippery mix encasing the egg rather than sausagemeat. It tended to disintegrate a bit - the kippery mix was very soft, so we shallow fried them to be on the safe side - but they tasted delicious. The egg was lightly boiled so it just oozed out when you cut into it.

Then yesterday, as we had some kippers left, I made some kipper & egg filled jacket potatoes. Similar ingredients, same accompaniments, & yet it tasted so different.

How come we had some kippers left? Readers of our blogs will know we often have a Kipper & Egg Kedgeree - one of the Fox's regular Sunday culinary offerings. We always use John West tinned kippers.

I'm convinced the thing that deters most people from eating more fish is the bones. I was fortunate. In my childhood, we usually went to the Isle of Man for our holidays. And what else can you have there for breakfast but Manx kippers? My mother loved them. When I was very little she carefully took the backbone out for me. As I grew older she taught me how to do it for myself. Then we discovered these tinned kippers so we could have kippers at other times of the year too &, what is more, any bones were so soft as to be unnoticeable. When I met the Fox I duly introduced him to these tinned delights & I'm glad to say he loved them too. So much nicer than the frozen ones. I suppose I have to confess that the texture is maybe better on the true Manx kipper - though that could be just my memory since it's a long time since I had them fresh - but the tinned are tasty & easy. So it is we used half a tin in the first meal, & half in the second.

By way of a change, today I've been busy making a fish pie with a mixture of haddock, salmon, naturally smoked haddock from our local smokehouse & prawns. I'm really looking forward to eating it this evening. I sometimes think we could very happily live on fish all the time, especially if there were a few eggs too.

But all of this is avoiding saying what I may not have another chance too. I anticipate tomorrow being a busy day as I want to get my Sunday chores - bed changing, sorting out the washing, emptying out the airing cupboards & putting the clean clothes away in drawers & wardrobes - done tomorrow. and first I will have to start with this week's ironing. All that is to say I fear I may not have opportunity to sit down & write tomorrow., so I'll say now

Happy Christmas all my readers

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Happy Christmas indeed

The lights come on

2011-12-22T11:25:00.000Z

We spent yesterday afternoon putting up our Christmas tree. Somehow everything seems so much more festive. The twinkling lights, the reflective baubles, the streams of tinsel, the glittery star, all make the world seem so much more sparkly. The rest of the room is adorned with Christmas cards. We are fortunate to have so many friends, so many people who think of us at this time of year.

Meanwhile, outside, the lights have changed in a more other-worldly way. They've been changing the street lights. Gone are the warm orange lights of before. Now we have halogen lights. They give a weird blueish light. People walking along the road look like zombies as all colour gets washed out of their faces.

I dare say we will get used to the new look. I expect these lights are more economic to run & more eco-friendly. They probably pollute the skies less. But initially at least, they are less aesthetically pleasing & certainly give us the impression the undead are about to take over the world!

A joyful reunion

2011-12-21T11:03:00.000Z

We're still busily hand delivering some of our local cards.

We stop at the house of one of our friends. The road seems full of cars. Nonetheless we park. The Fox gets out to deliver ours. As he goes I notice the people at the door of our friend are John & Janet, our former vicar & his wife. It turns into a joyful reunion.

It seems John & Janet are having Christmas dinner with the in-laws of one of their son. This happens to be just across the road from where we are spending our Christmas Day. We're hoping to bump into one another then too.

It made a very pleasant surprise, a real pleasure to see them again.

I wish I could feel as warmly towards our new vicar but I can't. I haven't been to church, except for funerals, since Easter. I'm contemplating trying again in the new year. If I'm still not happy, I think I will try another church, not too much further, in a different direction. Meanwhile I will continue to go via radio or just read a bit of the Bible by myself. I've nearly read all of Genesis now, from start to finish, a chapter at a time. It's high time I gave the Bible, the main book of my faith, a thorough read.

What a difference a day makes!

2011-12-20T10:56:00.000Z

We do the big food shop yesterday. I was in two minds as to whether to do it then or just leave it until the new year & use up stuff from the freezer until then. We start off with the essentials eg the milk, onions, margarine, the things needed just to get to Christmas.

It didn't seem too bad at first. Half an hour later bedlam had arrives. People stand bewildered in aisles, staring blankly around them, making it impossible for other people to get round them. Most people are pushing around trolleys piled high with goodies. You wouldn't believe the shops are only closing for a couple of days. Although I appreciate some people will have guests coming to stay for the holiday & so need extra food, surely there should be some people who don't, people like us who are going to be guests at the party rather than hosts. But the Bank Holiday food panic has well & truly set in. People are buying for months of siege.

Eventually we're done & head for the tills. We manage to find a shortish queue. We're in a hurry. We were supposed to be picking up PD to take him to the Pub quarter of an hour before, but the shopping had taken that much longer fighting through our fellow shoppers. The cashier grabs the milk bottle. Milk spurts out, all down her & the till. She cries out in surprise & shock. She hastily starts mopping herself down. Eventually a supervisor comes to help, bucket in hand. We're not allowed to find another bottle of milk ourselves. They will do that. We wait & wait as things get mopped up, before the assistant goes off to find the replacement bottle. Eventually we're through.

We arrive at the Pub, relieved to be able to relax after that experience of living hell. I look at the till receipt. After all that fuss, they'd failed to charge us for the milk. I contemplate going back to tell the shop but just can't face it. I tell myself they'd probably tell me to just keep it.

So this morning PD rings. He was just back from his big pre-Christmas shop. They'd got to Tescos's for 7am when it opened. There wasn't a fellow shopper in sight. They'd sailed through easily. The only disadvantage was that the fresh fish hadn't been delivered yet, but that hadn't bothered them as they weren't looking for fish today. It had been easier than usual. What a contrast!

The day they're worried about is Friday when they've got a 9am time slot to collect there pre-ordered M&S foods. M&S is in Lancaster so is sure to be busy. It's busy enough on any Friday, let alone the day before Christmas Eve.

What a relief it will be when shops, & fellow shoppers, get back to normal!

The hunt

2011-12-18T11:46:00.000Z

Christmas will soon be upon us. Yesterday we had a grand hunt. We located our artificial Christmas tree & decorations. We intend to put them up later in the week. Angie, our cleaner is due tomorrow. We thought we'd wait until she's been, then the house should be nice & clean. It's always difficult to clean around the tree etc, so we've cancelled Angie for the following two weeks.They're both bank holidays & I dare say she will appreciate being able to have a bit more time at home with her family.

More frustrating was the hunt for Christmas wrapping paper. We did have a couple of rolls plus several odd sheets & a box of festive gift tags. We abandoned buying presents years ago - too much hassle when you have to face crowds in a wheelchair - so we've not needed paper etc since we moved here 11 years ago. This year, though, we have bought a few little things - one for Angie by way of thanks for all her hard work keeping us clean & tidy, & one for our Christmas hosts, PD & Lin, for having us. We'll also be taking some bottles of wine with us on the Day to help celebrate the occasion.

So we've hunted & hunted. I think we've looked in every box, every cupboard, in the attic, everywhere we can think of. No paper.

Did we even bring it with us when we moved house? We both think so. It would be atypical of us to throw something potentially useful like that away. We abhor throwing good stuff away. We tend to be hoarders.

But where could we have put it? We're going to try the garden shed this afternoon. There's no electricity there. By the time we'd completed the hunt in the house yesterday it was too dark to rummage there. If not, Angie's present will just have to be wrapped in some ordinary gift paper. Then later in the week we'll have to buy some more Xmas paper to wrap up the gift for our friends.

That is unless we find where the older stuff is. We'll probably find it when we put away any excess from the new paper we buy.

Though maybe.....

Foody thoughts

2011-12-16T11:17:00.000Z

It seemed eerily quiet this morning. It's strange not seeing the trees doing their whirling-dervish dance. As the morning has gone on, the cause of the uneasiness is apparent. It's snowing. So far it's not sticking. It seems to be turning more watery as the shower, more rainlike, continues so I can't see it staying despite some of the large flakes that have come down.

We were talking in our local village pub yesterday about the "Masterchef: the Professionals" to come latter last night. One person who followed the programme admitted she had looked up the price of a meal at the Gleneagles restaurant that had featured earlier in the series.

"£125 per person for the set menu!" she gasped. "Lucky for some."

This is a price out of the range of the pockets of most of our friends, neighbours & acquaintances except on a very special occasion, a once-in-a-lifetime event, certainly not as a regular thing.

I couldn't help thinking, though, would I really like fine food dining on a daily basis. I think not. We have had the experience sometimes on holiday. I will not deny the pleasure & the treasured memories. But on the other hand I have some great memories of more normal fare, of a fabulous black peppery steak & kidney pie, at one time available in a particular Lakeland pub, for example.

I suppose ultimately I want food without towers to demolish. I'm happy to have food that is not so pretty on the plate but tastes good & satisfies my appetite.

I suppose I also have to admit I think fine dining also means missing out on some great classics. Today, for example, we're having a homemade chicken & vegetable pie - it's all ready for the oven this evening - a good homely favourite that I just can't imagine the likes of Michel Roux serving in his restaurant. I can't even begin to imagine how he could present it fancily & yet retain its integrity as a traditional British pie, with pastry top & bottom & oozing creamy chicken & vegetables. No, give me more homely food. Good & simple, comforting & warming, full of associations with family & friends. That suits me just fine.

The cynic in me

2011-12-14T10:57:00.001Z

The storm blows on. Today I'm accompanied by the patter of something coming down, dashing against the windows. It seems to be an icy mix, somewhere between rain & hail. I suspect on the fells across the water it will be snow.

The Fox , meanwhile, has got Big Ears, our slow cooker, out. He's made an Italian beef stew. We're going to have it with polenta for a change. I think we've only had polenta once before. Although it's fairly nondescript in itself - rather like mash or boiled potatoes, I think it should be a great accompaniment to a flavoursome casserole. As polenta is recommended for the meal, polenta we will try. It will certainly be a change.

Last night I found myself getting quite cynical. We watched "Masterchef: the Professionals" on BBC2. The finalists were sent off to work in the 3-star Michelin restaurant El Celier de Can Roca in Spain. I couldn't help wondering if they hadn't gone there as an excuse for the judges, Greg Wallace & Michel Roux Jr, to have a free, what must have been expensive, taster meal, on the BBC. Much as I appreciated the imagination of the Roca brothers - the idea of baby squid served on a bowl of smoke, or the sheep dessert coated with a fleece of candyfloss - I couldn't help thinking there must be somewhere nearer home they could have gone, or for that matter was it really necessary for the judges to go as well. Certainly they hadn't attended all the meals in the other great British restaurants the contestants had been sent to in earlier rounds. I know I'm just being cynical. And it was a great opportunity for the contestants to experience quite a different style of cooking. Maybe I'm just envious.

They're back

2011-12-13T11:08:00.000Z

The storms are back. The winds blast around our home. From time to time rain slashes at the windows. And we have to go out in it this afternoon! We're out of milk once more.

Meanwhile I've been making some pea soup for this evening. After last night's feast we feel the need for something lighter tonight. The food was excellent. We both had the winter mushroom casserole. If you like mushrooms this was superb, so mushroomy. All sorts of mushrooms, both wild & cultivated, were to be found in the steamy creamy sauce. Delicious.

We both moved on to the venison steaks. Again very good. We were even asked how we wanted the steaks doing. Although that is the norm with beef steaks, & I had taken specific orders from those having the fillet or sirloin steaks, I hadn't bothered with the venison. We all thought the venison was cooked to perfection.

After that the Fox & I went our different ways. He settled on the boozy Christmas trifle. It didn't look like any trifle he'd ever had before & didn't seem particularly boozy, but he did enjoy it. I had the chocolate & mandarin cheesecake - light & beautifully balanced.

So today we're in need of a bit of cutting down. If this wind doesn't calm down - & the forecast doesn't sound hopeful - the idea of a bowl or two of steaming hot soup has great appeal. Just the thing to warm you through after being out in the cold, however brief a time!

The festivities begin

2011-12-12T09:33:00.003Z

I seem to have been very tired over the weekend. I've had a couple of very long nights in bed, the majority of which has been asleep. I think it's just a sign of how much my cold has drained my energies. I seem to have reached the final stages of that. I've only used a couple of tissues the last couple of days, though I was perturbed to see a streak of crimson in the phlegm I coughed up yesterday. I'm not going to worry unless it happens again.

Meanwhile I'm trying to get into festive mood. We've already received a few cards. Neighbours even ventured out in the horrific storms to deliver them! I've finally got around to writing my first few.

Tonight is the Gerarics' Corner's Christmas dinner at the Pub. I hope to deliver all those cards at the do. I know others are intending the same. Hopefully it should be a grand occasion, full of merriment & laughter.

It seems strange, though, not preparing any food for tonight. This afternoon I'm hoping for a bit of a nap to keep me going through the evening. We don't often going out in an evening as I tend to find it so tiring. Whatever else happens it will be a change.

What a blow!

2011-12-09T10:35:00.000Z

I thought it was wild on Wednesday, but Thursday was not much of an improvement.

I was surprised when the phone went early in the morning. It was from the man who runs the salt marsh lamb stall at the Farmers' Market. We had ordered some meat from him last time & he was ringing to let me know he'd got the meat. He also added he would appreciate it if we could get there a bit earlier than usual - he knows from experience we don't usually arrive before noon - as he may need to leave earlier than usual himself if the wind got any worse.

We duly arrive nearer 11 o'clock. Stuart, this farmer, is one of the only two have stalls outside. The rest of the stalls are in the church hall. Stuart sells his meat from a trailer. As the wind blew the trailer rocked violently. At times he had to brace himself & hold onto the canvas roof. He was finding the more he sold, the lighter the trailer became, the more the trailer endeavoured to take flight. He was relieved to see us. We collected our lamb as well as buying a bit extra. Now when the balance between the value of sales & the instability of the trailer tilted in favour of the latter, he felt he could pack up & head home.

After the Farmers' market we went on to the fish shop. There we learnt the ferries to the Isle of Man had all been stopped . We weren't surprised. We had got to the shop by going along the prom & had seen just how rough the sea looked. Great breakers were rolling in. The sea looked like a mass of white-topped greyness tossing in every which direction.

It was a relief to get in away from the storm. It is equally a relief to find the wind seems to have abated a bit this morning. It is still blowing. Certainly, normally I would have said it was a very windy day today, but after the last couple of days it seems quite peaceful. Immediately I can't see any damage but certainly there is plenty of mess to tidy up. Still there's no point in doing anything about that until things fully settle down.

Wild

2011-12-07T11:12:00.000Z

It's a wild day. It's also bin day for us. I open the curtain to see the wheelie bin leaning on our car. I go to straighten up the bin & check it's not damaged the car in its collision. No, thank goodness. Then I notice the boxes at the side have lost their lids. One I find wedged between the two boxes. A red lid. That goes on the black box for paper. I look around. The only other lids I can see flying around the road are red lids, so what has happened to the yellow lid that belongs on the green box for glass, plastic bottles, tins etc? No idea. I pick up the red lid that is doing its best to fly over the gate into our back garden & put it between our boxes. I just hope when the binmen have been, & the wind eases, I will be able to find that yellow lid. Otherwise I can see we will be having to use the wrong coloured lid for the green box.

Before now when it has been so windy, we've tried to put bricks or other weights on top of the lids, as some of our neighbours have this time. However, when the boxes are emptied, the binmen still don't put the weights back on so lids fly everywhere. Flying lids & empty boxes can be real road hazards for motorists.

I'm relieved, with all that wind blowing, to have a curry plopping away. Just hearing it buffeting all the windows makes me feel cold. By this evening I will be well & truly ready for a bit of spice. Especially as we will have to venture out in it to do our supermarket shop, our last big one before Christmas. We also try to avoid those crowds, though obviously we will have to top up with a few more perishable items in the coming weeks.

Even as I write the binmen have come to empty the green boxes. As I hear the van I hastily get out. I spot a yellow lid without a bin which has appeared up the street. I ask the binman if he could fetch the lid as it is too far for me to walk. He kindly does. I note, as predicted, no weights are returned on top of neighbours' empty boxes. I bring the green box in. Now I just hope we've got a red lid still by the time the black box is emptied.

Getting back to normal

2011-12-06T10:32:00.000Z

The snow never arrived, though we did hear there was a white out not far away, in Kendal. It looks a brighter day today so hopefully it won't arrive today either.

So far I've done nothing but prepare for dinner today. We're having a goose quiche. This is an adaptation of a recipe I've had for a while. The original recipe is for a turkey quiche, but as it's leftover goose I've got, I'll just swap over the meats. I've done it before & it works well.

Tomorrow we will be doing the big food shop. We haven't had a big shop for weeks. I've only just started to tackle the meat we bought at the last Farmers' Market. Everything was put on hold, or rather in the freezer, until the worst of the cold was over. It's somewhat alarming to realise the next such market is on Thursday & I've not even thought what we want. This will be the last market this year. There won't be another until the end of January so I'd better get my thinking cap on.

All in all it's quite alarming to realise how quickly Christmas will be upon us. It's losing the couple of weeks due to ill-health with this terrible cold. (I'm still coughing & blowing, though I'm over the worst now; the Fox seems virtually back to normal again.)

We're looking forward to 2012 with hope. 2011 has been a bad year for us, one we'd like to put behind us for good.

Small world

2011-12-05T10:13:00.000Z

Yesterday we were both shocked by the news of the discovery of a Second World bomb, still live, being found in the Rhine near Koblenz. Before this year I don't think I'd even heard of Koblenz.

It was one of our stops on our Rhine cruise in September. We didn't observe any bombs sticking out of the water then. It sounds as though the Rhine, low then, must have got even lower. The idea we may have hit the bomb, setting it off, is a little disturbing. It must have been big one to have necessitated evacuating such a large part of the city. Mind you it isn't so long ago a Nazi bomb, still live, was found a couple of streets away from us, just outside a school. It takes a long time to clear away the aftermath of war, with many innocent lives caught in the middle.

Koblenz

That trip to Germany now seems long away. Instead we are forecast snow for today. It's certainly cold, though warmer than it has been, wet & windy. Definitely not my image of holiday weather.

On the up

2011-12-03T11:17:00.000Z

I've finally managed to put in the order for the Geriatrics Corner's Xmas dinner. It's a relief. Before the Pub changed hands a couple of years ago, most of us met several times a week, the only real exception being a couple of refugees from Bolton who came most Friday. These days things aren't the same. Many of our number have died. Ill-health has intervened. New interests have been found. So now it is only on Friday most people turn up, but not always then. Even we have been distracted with hospital visits, funerals & colds. But finally everyone has decided what they want to eat & the order is in. That's a relief for me!

I see this morning it looks as though new neighbours are moving in a couple of houses away. The property has been standing empty for quite a while, so it will be good to have some new occupants. It looks as though it will be a young family from the small size of a gaily coloured bicycle that has emerged from the van, along with various items of furniture. Hopefully they will just about have time to settle in in time for Christmas.

Our colds are progressing the right way. I've even dared to get out a pork joint for dinner, reasonably confident we will manage to cook & eat it. That seems like quite a step forward. Long may it continue.

Uncertainty

2011-12-02T10:09:00.000Z

It's the not knowing that gets to me, the inability to plan. To some extent that is in the nature of life at all times, but usually there are certain levels of reasonable expectancy. Admittedly the levels of uncertainty have increased with disability. You never can be sure what you will feel up to doing at a particular hour, let alone on a particular day, but I am always confident if I overdo things, the Fox will come to the rescue.

Normally I know the day before going to bed what I'm going to cook the next day. Any meat etc I will need from the freezer I get out the night before so it is thawed, ready for me to prepare in the morning.

At the moment I go to bed still unsure, my mind in a whirl of possibles. I'm reasonably confident my own cold is stable, only likely to slowly vanish from my life. My only problem would be if I manage to catch another one, eg from the Fox. The Fox's cold, though, is a different matter. It is impossible to tell how bad he is really feeling, how much of a good face he's putting on to ease my worries. Is he going to be better or worse next day?

So it is this morning I've hastily got out some cooked turkey & leftover stuffing out of the freezer in order to make some croquettes. I'm just hoping that, before my energies start to flag nearer midday as they do even at the best of times, they thaw out quickly enough for me to still feel up to combining, shaping & breadcrumbing them ready for frying up this evening . Fingers crossed. Meanwhile I have peeled the spuds & sprouts. We'll have some fresh veg at least.

I'm just longing to get to normality where the levels of uncertainly are kept within more reasonable parameters, when I can plan once more.

Second fox down

2011-12-01T10:28:00.000Z

AS feared the Fox is succumbing. Coughs & splutters are to be heard wherever he goes. I feared it was only a matter of time.

At least we did manage a quick shop yesterday. We once more have tissues in ready for the next onslaught (or is it this continuing onslaught?).

Tomorrow one of us will have to venture out to get to the surgery to collect some medication for us both. But that is tomorrow.

Meanwhile today I suspect will be a quiet day, back on convenience foods since we've re-stocked.

There seems no ends of colds. It's a bore!

A venture out

2011-11-30T10:05:00.000Z

For the first time since last Thursday, I ventured out, away from these premises. That's not to say I'm entirely well but I'm at the stage where a little activity will do no harm, & a change of scene is a boost to the morale.

We pop along to the Pub. PD is as pleased as can be. He doesn't venture out socially without family or us to hold his hand - metaphorically rather than literally - such is the effect of depression on him. The barman greets me with a cheery smile & asks if I'm better. I assure him I'm definitely on the mend.

Later Mr P turns up. He,too, is pleased to see me once more in the group. His query about my health is much more querulous & dubious. I don't think he can quite believe that this is me a lot better after nearly a week of illness. By this time I'm coughing & blowing fairly frequently. I assure him I am a lot better even if I am only at the stage most people get to at the peak of their colds. The Fox & I exchange glances & think if he thinks this is bad he should have seen me on Saturday.

Still the all important thing is I'm on the mend. The only worrying thing is the Fox is now coughing & blowing a bit, with a sore throat & cotton-wool filled head. I'm just hoping he isn't going down with it.

It was great to get out though. During my quarantine, the street scenes have changed. Many houses have put up their Christmas decorations. I suppose it is Advent now, but I feel December is quite early enough for such decoration, even for the shops. I expect many more lights & trees will be going up this weekend. We will not put ours up until nearer the date itself. I feel Christmas Eve is early enough, but the Fox does like to see the tree up a bit earlier than that. It helps him feel in more festive mood.

This afternoon, if we're both up to it, we're hoping to get to the supermarket. We seem to be running out of so many essentials, things like bread & cooking oil. Ready meals, too, are low. It really doesn't seem worth the effort of cooking much if one of us isn't up to tasting the result. It was wonderful to have that Normandy Pork last night - proper home cooked food. Nonetheless, while the germs hover around, it is reassuring to have something quick & easy to do. The Fox may well sink. I may well relapse once again. Either way it is useful to have something in that requires minimum effort.

Still getting there

2011-11-29T09:36:00.000Z

Yesterday was my one step back, but today I've made two steps forward & am feeling more like myself than I have for what seems like ages. I'm even contemplating having a go at cooking, or at least supervising the cooking of, the Normandy pork I'd planned for last Friday. I'm confident my taste buds will be tasting, my mind will be sufficiently unfogged to think. I'm still blowing but not near as bad.

It's the first time Angie, our cleaner, has been when I've had a cold. Usually I sit & chat to her as she cleans, but yesterday I retreated back into the lounge as she moved on to the bathroom. Soon she came running in, alarmed. "Are you okay?" she queried. I had coughed, that is all. But when down with cold, my coughs rack my whole body & she'd thought I was my gasping my last.

As she left she thought I should have a bit of a lie down, which I admit I felt about ready to do. No such luck. I'd just got as far as removing my knee braces, reclining my chair into a comfortable position, snuggling down into a quilt I've had out for the last few days for just such a purpose, when the doorbell went - a local charity trying to enlist subscriptions. This was an irritating waste of time since we regularly support that particular charity anyway, if they had but checked their books in the first place.

I returned to my chair, got comfy again, when the doorbell went a second time. This time it was a wine delivery. By the time that was taken in, I felt it was time to abandon the whole effort of a lie down.

Still, today, I've got up feeling well enough to put away the quilt, until the next time I'm down with a cold. Hopefully that won't be this year at least. Now I'm looking forward to a slow, but steady, improvement & getting back to normality once more.

On the mend

2011-11-27T09:13:00.000Z

It is with some relief, I'm glad to say, I'm once more re-surfacing. Last night I actually managed to sleep most of the time. Friday night had been spent more awake than sleeping, coughing so hard tears came to my eyes & blowing my nose so much the best part of a box of tissues went just during the night. I'd also alternated between freezing despite a sheet, two blankets, a quilted bedspread & a quilt on top of me - usually a sheet & one blanket suffice for me - and running with sweat. I'm still pretty blocked but at least things are easing. I'm also pleased to see a bit of rosiness returning to my cheeks today. It will be another quiet day for me today but at least I've turned the corner.

Meanwhile the Fox is feeling heavy, though it doesn't seem to be turning into a full blown cold. He's been busy trying make sure I'm well fed & watered. I wouldn't be too surprised, though, if the roles are reversed as the week goes on & I recover & he lets go & sinks into the cold.

Struck once more

2011-11-25T09:50:00.000Z

I've gone down with yet another cold. I'm not going to stay long. Just peeling some potatoes for today's dinner has just about exhausted me. And people seem to think colds are nothing. They've clearly not had the full-blown version I usually get. I'm feeling ready for another lie-down between nose-blowing & coughing. And I've only been up less than two hours!

Food matters

2011-11-24T10:14:00.000Z

And so we finish off the tin of salmon. This time with a Salmon Vol-au-Vent. The fishcakes were as delicious as we remembered. We were both transported back to the heady days when we were newlyweds. At the time our family all said we wouldn't last, a year at most. Maybe that's why we've never taken our marriage & each other for granted. We've always seen it as precious. That's not to say we haven't had our problems, but we've always felt it was worth the effort to tackle those problems together.

When we opened the large tin of salmon, the Fox had hesitated, thinking we would end up wasting some of it, or getting bored before we finished it. Now he has enjoyed it all so much he is eager to open another tin & have yet more fishcakes.

Instead he is going to have a go today at roasting some gammon in Big Ears, our slow cooker. He's not tried roasting in it before. It seems strange to not have to add liquid. We're curious to see what the result is. In theory it should work. After all a conventional oven essentially cooks with the circulation of warm air around it, & the meat remains moist. The only real difference is that the meat is on a warm surface below. The heat, however, is very low so the meat shouldn't stick on. We'll see.

Meanwhile we're off to the Farmers' Market today to see if we can get some flavoursome meat. I'm particularly hoping to get some salt marsh lamb, some rare breed pork & a pheasant or two. That will be our meat purchase until next month's market.

A little night shepherding

2011-11-23T10:33:00.000Z

It's dark. We come home. We turn into the drive. Suddenly the Fox slams on the brakes.

"What's that?" he asks.

I peer out of the window to see what he's pointing at. At first I think it's just a leaf. Then I realise it's far too thick for a leaf. It's a frog!

We sit there. It sits there. Eventually I conclude the only thing is to get out of the car & move the frog, otherwise it will be one squashed frog.

I make sure I'm wall-side of the frog & move close. It takes one hop. I move closer. So it is, one hop at a time, we move across the drive to the front garden. By now my back is to the drive ready to stop the frog changing his mind & hopping back the way he came. The Fox hastily drives in & parks.

He can't help laughing. The sight of me bending over, trying to shepherd the frog out of the way has apparently been quite a sight. He isn't sure which of us, the frog or I, is the slower moving. He suspects 'tis I.

We say our goodnights to the frog & retreat into the warmth of our home. The security light stays on as the frog continues his night hunt in the front garden.

Anticipation

2011-11-22T11:14:00.000Z

I'm looking forward to dinner today. I've been looking forward to it since Sunday, when the idea for it first popped into my head.

On Sunday the Fox decided to cook us a salmon kedgeree for dinner. We only had a large 400g+ tin so he used half & put the rest in the fridge for later in the week.

My mind whirled back in time to when we were first married 36 years ago. It landed on a recipe for Salmon Fishcakes . I've always kept successful recipes from tins, magazines, leaflets etc & handwritten them in a book or file. The first such recipe I wrote down is this one for Salmon Fishcakes. We had it often in those early years of gaining some sort of culinary expertise.

And what is so special about this recipe that makes it so memorable? Apart from the memories already mentioned, it is the tomato sauce. This recipe I suspect came off the back of a Campbell's condensed tomato soup tin. Some soup, undiluted, goes in the fishcakes. Some soup, diluted with water, is served as a tomato sauce. The result is delicious.

I've made up the fishcakes. All breadcrumbed they're sitting in the fridge ready for frying up tonight. Yum.

But first, before dinner, I'm off to the surgery. Blood pressure time. As I've already said I will be surprised if my blood pressure has gone down. After the trauma of Jean's death & its consequences, I feel very tense, stressed, pain-filled & tired. Some of the tension eased a bit yesterday when PD & Dick Gobble, Jean's husband, met & spoke to each other for the first time since that traumatic morning when Dick went round to PD's to tell him Jean had died & to convey her last wishes. Needless to say, the encounter was full of tension but, at least, that first meeting is over. Hopefully now things can only get easier..

May harmony return

2011-11-19T10:33:00.000Z

The funeral is over. It was a good service. Reasonably short. As usual the hymns were played far too slow, almost designed to bring a gulp to the throat.

We had difficulty though. Having spent a week mediating between one distressed friend, PD, and another grieving & distressed friend, Dick, it was difficult not to feel a bit hypocritical praying for, and thinking, about someone for whom love was a central theme of her life. And yet that is the Jean I remember, not the vindictive cruel woman at the end.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the effect of the pain, & the strong drugs she was on in the end, must have warped her mind. She must have been brooding on some slight, getting it out of all proportion. I certainly can not imagine she wanted to cause as much pain as she has for her beloved husband Dick.

Now I can just hope things will settle down and peace be restored. Hurts will have time to heal. Certainly PD & the other couple banned have both sent messages of goodwill to Dick so they must both have got to the stage of realising Dick felt he had no other option but to obey his wife's last wishes & was hurting even more than his friends. We'll see.

Meanwhile we're having a weekend off from the stress of it all. I'm celebrating with some beef plopping away in some stout ready to fill a pie for this evening.

Our spirits lifted when we got home from the funeral to see Dave, our neighbour, returning from a short walk with his wife. Clearly he, at least, is out of immediate danger & safely home again. My cousin Ann, too, is sounding much more herself after her operation to remove her kidney.

Hopefully things are on the up again. About time too.

Less is more

2011-11-17T11:13:00.000Z

We finished off the tin of tuna for dinner last night. The Fox made a Tuna Macaroni cheese.

It's strange. We had just a quarter of the tin of tuna in the flan I made on Monday. It had seemed so deliciously fishy. This time we had three quarters of the tin & yet the dominate taste was the chopped hard boiled eggs & the creamy sauce. The fish was just a delicate background taste, almost a sort of seasoning. And yet there was so much more tuna in the meal. How come?

Sometimes I think with cooking, as in so many other spheres, less is more. It doesn't seem to make logical sense but that's the way it works. Maybe it's just that certain combinations of flavours enhance one another, others neutralise each other.

Whatever the reason this is definitely a case of less is more.

Increasing pain

2011-11-16T11:03:00.000Z

I'm aware the aches are growing. The Fox asks what I've been doing to overdo it so much. Nothing much. It's just tension. I feel very unrelaxed at the moment. When I'm tense all the muscles in my legs tense up with the result my knees hurt even more than usual.

It's hard work with PD at the moment. Admittedly he did seem a lot more like himself yesterday. That is until the news of the funeral arrangements for Jean arrived. PD's due to see his Community Psychiatric Nurse tomorrow. Hopefully that will help.

As we were at the Pub others we hadn't seen for a while turned up. They were amazed by PD's weight loss. Somehow that bit of good news seems long ago, as does the Fox's hospital visit. It's difficult to remember both events were only last week. Life seemed so much cheerier then.

The funeral is on Friday. Hopefully once it is over some of the tensions will ease.

Meanwhile, this morning, after a deep breath, I give Dick a ring to see how he was doing. The family seem to be working on a shift system to ensure he's not alone for too long. One member or another is staying overnight, looking after him, helping him any way they can. None of them live in Lancashire - there's a lot of trans Pennine travelling at the moment - but they are determined to support him.

He's still shuddering at the memory of that worst of all jobs, going around to tell PD & Lin, along with the others who are excluded from the funeral. He reckons it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to do in his life. I can well believe it. All I can do is assure him that he'd had to do his best for his wife. Those were her expressed wishes & he had fulfilled them. PD is hurt but he does understand Dick's position. I suspect that will be the same for the others. I will be glad when it all settles down.

Now I've just realised I'm due for my second blood pressure reading next week. It was too high last time. I suspect it will be even higher this time. My pain-filled knees are telling me that.

Hard work

2011-11-15T10:27:00.002Z

We got to the Pub. PD was still subdued, clearly still stinging by being told he & his wife were not welcome at Jean's funeral.

The landlord greets us & instantly asks if we've seen Dick & know the details about the funeral arrangements. He knows we're all friends.

PD is hard-pushed to say anything in his distress, but wanting to keep up appearances & understandably wanting to keep some privacy on what has happened.

As the afternoon goes on, PD's spirits lift a bit, then dip a bit, as yet more people ask or mention Dick & Jean. For once the Fox & I regret the crossword is virtually complete. It usually distracts PD from his inner thoughts & gives him something else to think on. It's hard work trying to reach PD when he is so withdrawn in his personal world. Nonetheless, by the time we get PD back to his home, he seems a bit cheerier, a bit less bitter. His biggest problem is that although he's had people say unpleasant things to him before, he's always been able to answer back, but, as he says, it's difficult to answer back to a corpse.

I only hope now the worst is over & he will stop brooding & get back to living, & hopefully that will include still regarding Dick as a friend. I think there's a chance. I hope so.

An old favourite

2011-11-14T09:52:00.001Z

The sky is blue & clear. I contemplate putting my washing out. If it was the summer I would undoubtedly do so, but now it is so cold the washing wouldn't dry much anyhow. I leave it on the racks in the laundry room.

Today we're having an old favourite for dinner. Something I've not made for a while. I'm not quite sure why. So it's a Tuna Flan today. We'll finish off the tin later in the week with, I suspect, something like Tuna Macaroni Cheese.

At the moment my home-made pastry is thawing, ready to be rolled & blind baked, ready for filling when we get home later today. We'll certainly be doing some food shopping today. We're just about out of milk, yet again. We'll probably go on to the Pub afterwards. We'll see.

But first it's a flan case to make & a visit by Angie to spruce up the house.

Yet more

2011-11-13T11:15:00.000Z

And so it goes on.

After I wrote my blog yesterday, I spent a fair amount of time on the phone.

I rang my long-time friend, Ellie, at Arnside. She's had cancer for a while now. They had thought she was clear when it re-emerged. She is not responding well to treatment.

Then I rang my cousin Ann. She had come out of hospital that morning. It is indeed cancer. She has had one kidney removed. Unfortunately the cancer has already spread. Although the removal of the kidney has taken away the majority of the tumour, some still remains in other organs. As soon as she has recovered fully from this op, she will be starting on chemotherapy.

I then rang my cousin Trudy. Her cataract op has gone well, but life has become in some ways even more frustrating. Until both her eyes have been done, she will not be tested for new glasses. As a result, although her distance sight has improved considerably, her short vision has got worse so she still can't see to read. The second op will probably not be done until next year now. We're resolved next time we talk it will be with some more positive news.

Although neither Trudy's health or ours is brilliant, we've come to the conclusion they are problems that we can cope with. On the whole we feel amazingly healthy compared to so many around us. We can but pray & hope for Ann, &, in our case, for Ellie, our friend in Arnside.

Mixed news

2011-11-12T10:37:00.000Z

Two pieces of news have happened since last I wrote, one good, one bad. I'll tell them in chronological order. As you may already have guessed, my mood is rather flat.

First, the Fox has finally got the results of his MRI scan. It seems they are nothing to worry about. He's got some hearing loss, yes. The tinnitus is likely to last as long as it lasts. There's no way of predicting how it will go. He may one day wake up & find it's gone; it may get worse. However, the important thing is there is no underlying serious cause. He's just like so many people, wearing out a bit early. Personally I'm beginning to think that is what growing older is about. I just hope the essential parts keep going longer than other parts. Now we await a further appointment at the hospital. They feel he may appreciate some counselling, learning some techniques to cope better with the tinnitus & an opportunity to answer any further questions he may have by then.

The not so good news has just happened, hence my subdued tone. Jean, Dick Swallow's wife, died peacefully in her sleep last night. She kept going long enough for her son to get over to have a last word with her. The worst of it is she's left a written note of wishes which Dick feels he must abide by. In this she has banned certain people from attending her funeral as she felt they'd had not given her sufficient support in the last year of her life. These include PD & Lin. PD was almost in tears as he told me. I hastily rang Dick to check if we were banned. We, it seems, are most welcome. In fact it is positively hoped we will attend. I just hope our attendance doesn't cause ill-feeling with PD & Lin. Meanwhile Dick is also feeling bad as he regards both PD & Lin as good friends of his & doesn't want Jean's wishes to spoil that friendship. I can see we are delicate ground here.

Plop

2011-11-10T10:21:00.000Z

We're home. It's dark. We've been food shopping.

I get my feet out of the car.

Plop.

I'm startled.

What's this?

I look again.

Plop.

It's a frog, leisurely hopping across the drive.

I very carefully get out of the car, avoiding stepping on him, into the safety of our warm home.

Good news at last

2011-11-09T09:46:00.000Z

There is jubilation in the Pub.

PD went to the hospital yesterday. For the first time in a long while he has had positive news. He's lost a good stone in the last 3 months, two & a half inches off around his neck. Now he's been set the challenge of losing a further stone in the next 6 months. They're allowing him a longer period so he can indulge a bit over Christmas.

And how's this been achieved? Partially it's that he's learnt to love vegetables & fruit. Personally we can't cope without regularly vegetables. We still shudder when we remember a weekend break we had on the banks of Ullswater, when we had one mushroom each for the whole weekend.

He's also been doing a lot more exercise. The last month or so he's been doing a couple of gym sessions a week under medical supervision. All the sweat & aches are paying off.

His relief is palpable. He had begun to suspect he may have lost weight lost month. It was his birthday & he was thrilled to find some of the clothes the family had bought him as presents were too big. Now it's been confirmed.

We have been saying for a while he seems to be standing better, moving easier, less breathless than he was.

Now all has been confirmed at the hospital. And he's jubilant. He went off to the gym after the hospital & before the Pub with a will & full of determination. Long may it continue.

Now we wait to see if the Fox can get as positive a result when he goes to the hospital on Friday for the results of his MRI scan on his hearing.

Traditional British

2011-11-08T10:34:00.000Z

I had been intending to venture out on the Mean Machine, my electric scooter, today. I was hoping to buy some fish. However, it's back to grey & damp here & my scooter doesn't appreciate such weather conditions. I'm having a re-think about what to cook.

Instead, I'm getting some steak out of the freezer. I am somewhat bemused by these steaks. They are called "traditional British" steaks. Since when have "bullet steaks" been traditional British cuts? The recipe calls for traditional "bullet steaks", "Denver steaks" or "flat-iron" steaks. To me none of these cuts are traditional British. Sirloin, rump, fillet, rib-eye, braising yes, bullet no.

Before I bought them I asked our usual friendly farmer at the Farmers' market if he'd heard of any of these cuts. He looked blankly back at me.

I then searched the net. As far as I can tell they may be traditional US cuts, but not British. Here such cuts seem to come under the catch-all label of "frying" steak.

Still, whatever variety of cut they are, we're going to try bullet steaks this evening. I'm going to put them briefly in a spicy oily marinade before frying them off.

We're not, on the whole, great steak eaters. Hopefully the marinade mix, which doubles up as a dressing for the fried steaks, will give the meat a bit extra interest for our taste buds. We'll see.

But as far as I can see the only traditional British thing about today will be the weather. I suppose I shouldn't complain too much. At least the temperature has risen above freezing point.

Winter

2011-11-07T09:50:00.000Z

Winter's arrived. As the whizzes, flashes & bangs arrived on Saturday so did the temperatures drop. The last couple of nights have been around -7. Even the day yesterday didn't manage to rise much above zero. I suspect it will be the same today. The sky is bright blue & clear. Everything outside, gardens & roofs, are crusted with white. All very pretty but cold.

I'm in the midst of cooking up some marrowfat peas for a pea & bacon soup. The idea of a bowlful of piping hot soup when we get in this evening sounds just the ticket.We'll stop on the way back to get some bread.

Where are we going? To the Pub, of course. I'm expecting a call from PD later this morning to see if we're out to play & would we pick him up.

My aches continue though I did manage more comfortably in bed last night so maybe that's a sign I'm on the mend. Meanwhile the Fox continues to drag his leg. He's beginning to think it's the weather. Since his stroke he's always found it seems worse when it is cold or damp. If this is the cause, I can see we're in for a long winter. We may have to think of a holiday in the sun before the winter is out. We'll see. We've no plans at the moment.

A change of plans

2011-11-05T10:16:00.000Z

We were supposed to be going over to see Mr P's new restaurant this afternoon. It's not officially open today, but he wants to go over to do a few things by way of preparation & wants us to see the place at least, even if we can't get there to dine. I've just sent him a text cancelling.

Last night the Fox came to bed hobbling. It's his bad leg playing up again. He was dragging it badly. Clearly he could do with a quiet weekend. I've noticed since his stroke, if he's under pressure his leg seems to play up more. We've certainly had enough stress of one sort or another this couple of weeks.

On top of that I seem to have pulled a muscle in my back badly. It seems to happen from time to time. I have seen the doctor about it a couple of times to be told it's just muscular, a reflection of being a wheelchair user. I have to admit there are times I'm aware I tend to sag a bit, usually to one side. The effort of sitting up straighter usually eases the problem, but only after a while.

Oh the creaks of old age!

So this morning I've hastily got out some meat for dinner. I had been thinking after seeing the restaurant Mr P might have fancied extending the visit elsewhere so I might not have felt up to cooking. Now I'm definitely cooking, or at least trying, assuming my back eases sufficiently.

I'm proposing to do a Lancashire hotpot. After three days of turkey, lamb should be a pleasing change. Not that the turkey was that bad. We were very pleasantly surprised by how much we enjoyed the Day 3 meal. Having sat in the fridge for nearly 48 hours, the flavours of the stew had rounded out. The extra cooking, while re-heating it, had softened the turkey yet more. The Fox had done a good job in Big Ears, the slow cooker. I wonder what culinary adventure he's planning for next week.

Guilty says the conscience

2011-11-04T11:24:00.000Z

Mid-afternoon it dawns upon us it is nearly time for the Bat's funeral. We feel a bit guilty about not going. But it's not as though we knew him that well. We knew of him through mutual friends, met him a few times but not really sufficiently to regard him as our friend. We would have gone to support PD but Lin, his wife, had managed to rearrange the looking after the grandchildren so she could go to the funeral as well.

We don't like to think of the Bat's passing being unnoticed. There's something particularly grim about funerals where only a couple of people turn up, but in this case we knew a fair number were intending to go. After the service refreshments were going to be put on at the Pub & they had been asked to cater for 40-50. So we didn't go, just thought about the living Bat.

We're equally feeling a bit guilty about not going to my cousin's funeral, which is happening today. After all, she was family even if I can't remember ever even meeting her. When I spoke to my cousin Ann at the weekend & said as much, she pointed out this particular cousin was at my cousin Bridget's wedding. I had to point out I wasn't at Bridget's wedding. I saw Bridget when she was about 1, the summer of 1972, just before I went off to university. The next time I saw Bridget was at Ann's father's funeral in 2000 when Bridget was already married & the mother of one child.

We've also dismissed this funeral as we feel it's more important for the Fox to keep up his strength for such a long drive as the one to Stoke. We're half-expecting to feel the need to go down to see Ann if she does need support & encouragement if she does indeed have cancer. Or for that matter if her husband needs help through this spell. So we're staying put.

On a more cheerful note, I can't help noticing we don't seem to have had many fireworks going off this year. Is this a sign of the continuing recession & the lack of money to burn? Or is it simply the fact that, for once, Bonfire Night is coming at the weekend so everyone is intending to celebrate it on the day? So often of late it has come midweek, when children are at school, with the result so people have celebrated the week before, others the week after. The fact fireworks keep going off encourages children to want to have them all week long. I suspect it may be the former as our local Morrisons hasn't had such a big display of fireworks for sale this year, & I've certainly not seen queues of prospective buyers lining up to purchase. I wonder which it is. I'm just grateful for the peace & quiet, though I did enjoy one display earlier in the week - some very pretty colours.

The turkey onslaught - Day 2

2011-11-03T10:39:00.000Z

Another day of bright sunshine. Come, come, I could get used to this.

Meanwhile we're on to Day 2 of turkey. For the success of yesterday's version, read the Fox's blog.

The Stroganoff I'm making is very similar in some ways , & yet so different in others.

I've just cut the turkey into strips ready for a fast fry this evening. Yesterday it was cut into large lumps.

I'm adding more mushrooms & cream than the Fox's version. He added chicken stock, leeks & garlic, none of which appear in my version. He used whole grain mustard; I'm adding French mustard.

I'm also going to serve mine with egg noodles whereas yesterday we had creamy mash & green beans.

My version is a quick fry & very brief simmer; his was an an hour and a half in the slow cooker.

I'm very curious to discover which we prefer. Whatever the conclusion, Friday will be Day 3 of turkey as we tackle the last of the turkey stew before it goes off.

It has to admitted these turkey grenades, so kindly given to us by PD & his wife, do take a lot of eating for just two foxes. The second grenade can wait in the freezer a bit before we tackle that. We need a bit of time to recover from this turkey onslaught.

I suspect by Saturday we will be ready for something quite different!

Talking turkey

2011-11-02T10:25:00.000Z

We pop up to the surgery yesterday. My blood pressure day. Since they changed my medication in September they're keeping an eye on it.

It's up.

I couldn't help thinking I'm not very surprised after last week. There was plenty of cause for my pressure to shoot up. I explained as much.

I've got to go again in a couple of weeks & see if my blood pressure has settled down a bit.

At one time the level it is at now would have been regarded as fine, considerably lower than the target I originally started taking blood pressure pills for. Now, with Chronic Kidney Disease diagnosed, the level I need to be at is lower.

We'll see but I suspect the dosage of my new medication might have to be raised.

Meanwhile we bump into Mr P. He had his big weekend, with his new restaurant being open. He obviously gets quite an adrenalin rush from it all. He was still coming down. He had to admit he's still not breaking even. This weekend he reckoned he was down about £100. We can't help wondering how long the business can keep going if the takings don't improve soon. Still it sounds as though he's had nothing but compliments for the food & service. At least some clients have booked for the next three months. So maybe he's right & it's going to take off. It's early days yet.

Mentioning food I've got a quiet day today. The Fox is taking over the cooking. He's making a creamy turkey casserole in Big Ears, the slow cooker. Our friend, PD, has a daughter-in-law who works at a local hotel & gets given loads of turkey leg joints, two of which PD passed on to us. PD doesn't like eating turkey outside the Christmas to New Year period. So the Fox is tackling this large 1.5kg turkey grenade today.

I've already cut some off for tomorrow when I'll make a turkey stroganoff. That bit of the meat is in the fridge while the rest stays out to thaw ready for the afternoon cook. I'm quite looking forward to it. I admit I like a bit of turkey from time to time so these couple of days should be a bit of a treat.

Sunshine at last

2011-11-01T10:55:00.000Z

Some sunshine at last! Clear blue skies! Beautiful! We seem to have had grey days for ages. It seemed appropriate for the grim news we've been getting of late. However, even that is improving. We heard yesterday that our neighbour, Dave, has been moved from Intensive Care to Medical Assessment. Most of our friends who have had experience of Medical Assessment have found it a grim place, the venue for so many final partings & deaths, but in Dave's case it has to be a sign of improvement, of hope.

In good spirits I'm under way with a Beef Bourguinon. The recipe called for a whole bottle of Burgundy wine. I'm only making half quantities but even so that seems extravagant. I've used half a bottle of cheap Aussie red plonk. As far as I'm concerned that should do.

Now that November is here I'm starting to get orders for what people want for the Geriatrics' Corner Christmas dinner. Time is marching on.

The end of the year will soon be upon us. I suppose I always begin to think this way when the clocks go back & the nights suddenly draw in. When we came home from the Pub yesterday, about 5pm, we already needed to put the lights on on the car. And it will only get earlier & earlier until the new year comes.

Some better(?) news

2011-10-30T11:41:00.000Z

Dinner was late yesterday. I noticed our neighbour Fran, Dave's wife, so I thought I'd pop out & see how he was. It was with some relief I heard he was safely in hosptial, in the Intensive Care Unit attached to Coronary Care. Apparently he had had a massive heart attack. This is worrying in that he has already had multiple heart bypasses as well as having other medical problems. Fran is now anxious that he will be transferred to Blackpool, which would be a long journey for her to visit him daily but rather expensive to stay any length of time. I offered her what little help we could. So now we pray & hope.

Hopefully some good will come out of this. Dave has been having increasing problems for a while. Part of the problem is that he is now on 14 different types of medication. They are clashing with one another. They've taken him off the medication & are starting from scratch. Hopefully they will be able to find a balance that will suit him better at the end of the day. Meanwhile fingers stay crossed prayers are said.

By the time I'd finished talking to Fran it was getting on to 2pm & I was using Big Ears, our slow cooker. Still the Duck Vindaloo we had was worth the wait.

We can't help beginning to think, for all our problems, we're among the healthiest people we know. That's saying something!

More bad news

2011-10-29T11:13:00.000+01:00

The bad news continues.

At 6am yesterday two ambulances turn up, blue lights flashing. They stop outside Dave & Fran's, a couple of houses down the road. Dave hasn't been so well for a while. We didn't stop to watch what happened. Indeed I slept peacefully through the whole incident, only the Fox saw it happen. When we went out in the afternoon, we looked at the windows. Blinds were closed. Another death? We certainly haven't seen much movement since. We're just hoping all is well.

Meanwhile I ring my cousins today. My cousin Ann has apparently been in hospital this week. Just for tests. She's passing a lot of blood. It's feared she has cancer on her kidneys. We now anxiously await the results. Hopefully if it is cancer, it is still at an early stage. If that is the case she can have the one infected kidney removed, taking the tumour with it, & live healthily for many a year yet. Again we pray for the best.

As for my cousin Trudy, she's had the cataract removed from one eye. She can't say it's an instant success, but at least she's home & feeling fine. She's having a lot of eye drops at the moment which is causing her to cry a lot. She finds the sensation of tears permanently rolling down her cheeks a bit off-putting, but worth it if she can see clearer & read again when things have had chance to heal up. Assuming all is well, she will probably have the other eye done in the new year.

There just doesn't seem any way of getting away from bad news at the moment.

Coincidence gone mad

2011-10-27T10:43:00.000+01:00

There are times when you can't help being struck by the way coincidence rears its head.

As you know we heard of the Bat's death earlier in the week. Last night I get a phone call to let me know one of my cousins has died.

Once more I feel in a dilemma. Once more it would be a funeral I would be going to support the living rather than to grieve for the dead. As far as I know I have never even met my cousin Muriel. By the time I re-established contact with my cousins, she was already in a care home suffering from Alzheimer's. However I do know & care for her sisters Trudy & Alma. You may remember we went down to Stoke in June to help celebrate Trudy's Golden Wedding anniversary.

I'm going to have to play it by ear. I've said I will ring at the weekend. Trudy was due to have a cataract operation last Monday - indeed that's what I thought the phone call was going to be about. That has been postponed until tomorrow Friday - that is if her blood pressure has settled after the upset & extra burdens laid on her with Muriel's death & having to arrange a funeral, hopefully for the following week. I want to see how Trudy's done anyhow. I'll see if she can by sufficiently supported by phone before we make any decisions about another trip down to Stoke. After the June trip, the Fox is still nervous about such a long drive - he's not done such a long drive since then - especially when it would be to attend the funeral of someone he never even realised existed, let alone met.

Meanwhile, at home, we are being inundated by firms, ostensibly wanting to come to check our double glazing for fuel efficiency reasons. We suspect the reality is that it's more about giving the hard sale on new double glazing.

I wouldn't entirely mind changing our present windows. I don't like the design - too easy to climb through for burglars, hence the reason we always have to leave them closed & locked if we go out. But we don't want to be bludgeoned into buying new windows. And we just know any checks will prove we need new windows. If it was a separate company, unrelated to window manufacture & installation, we would be more tempted to have a survey done.

NHS treatment / non-treatment

2011-10-26T10:14:00.000+01:00

Last night the local newspaper arrived as usual. The front page was dominated by the appalling report on standards at the Royal Lancaster Infirmary. We were not surprised.

The RLI has been the main hospital near us for the last 40 years or so. In that time the standards have gone up & down. At present they seem on a down.

We weren't surprised read this report after the Fox's treatment this year.

Yes, when he had his stroke, he got into A&E immediately. They observed him, but any improvement was left to his own body - but that may be all that could be done. They couldn't do all the tests that Saturday as the Ultrasound department was closed for the weekend. He was given an appointment to return to the hospital on the following Monday between 9 & 9.30am. You can imagine our surprise when we got there to discover the department couldn't see him to 2pm & in the meantime he should walk into the town centre, pushing me in a wheelchair - & this a man who had had a stroke a couple of days before & was still feeling the effects. It had been a long walk for him just to get to the required ward. I had been able to push myself along the hospital corridors.

Even after that, when trying to establish the new medicine regime, he had to have several blood tests. Once it took over a month to get back the results. And that was only when his GP phoned the hospital directly to get the answers.

As for his hearing problems this year! In July he was sent for a MRI scan. He still hasn't had the results. Eventually I rang the hospital to find out what had happened. An appointment was made. It was cancelled by the hospital a few weeks later. A second appointment was made. By this time it was September. We went in to the hospital to be told by the receptionist that the clinic had been cancelled, go home. They gave us another appointment which has since been cancelled. We've now got another appointment early in November. It's anybody's guess whether it will happen, or whether, by this time, they've lost the test results & we have to start all over again!

We're telling ourselves at least the Fox's problems haven't been too dire. The delay in tests & their results have been frustrating rather than life-threatening.

Our heart goes out to Dick Gobble's wife, who has cancer, which the hospital only diagnosed after a year of tests & regular hospital overnight stays. Needless to say, the tumour is now so huge it is inoperative. All that can be done is to make her as comfortable as possible, pray, make sure she feels as loved as possible as she slowly dies.

So much for our local NHS hospital! High time they pulled their socks up. We feel so sorry for the receptionists who we suspect are getting a lot of abuse from understandably impatient patients.

An early call

2011-10-25T10:54:00.000+01:00

It's early. Just after 9am. The phone rings. It's PD. I wasn't expecting his call until later in the day.

He was in a bit of a state yesterday. When we drew up outside his house to take him to the Pub, we were surprised to see a police car parked just there. Soon we saw PD, Lin his wife & a young policewoman coming up the drive towards us.

What had happened? He'd said nothing when I'd rung to say we were on our way.

PD got in the car. He said all would be revealed when we got to the Pub. Meanwhile he wanted to be quiet to let the shaking stop.

Apparently, earlier on, he'd got caught up in a road rage incident. Lin was driving them home. At a busy junction she'd taken a while to turn right. The van behind was hooting madly, & to PD rudely. The van had then appeared to follow them home. Lin dropped PD off at their gate so he could bring the now empty rubbish bin in. As he did so, the van passed him. PD gave a two-fingers up sign. The van screeched to a stop. A man got out, accompanied by his four passengers. They proceeded to harangue PD, then punched him in the face & kicked him in the backside. PD resisted the fight - he's aware he's far too unfit to take on five men by himself these days. He backed away and said he'd be phoning the police. A neighbour going by encouraged him to do just that.

Before he did, PD rang his son, who advised against it. PD didn't know who these people were. It would be his lone voice against 5. What is more he feared if he were to prosecute, he may become subject to vandalism & other revenge tactics. As it turned out the van driver himself dialled 999, hence the appearance of the policewoman.

PD was relieved to hear they were not locals so revenge was unlikely. He's not going to pursue the case. He wasn't unduly hurt. He has enough flab to cushion the blows. He realises his own actions had to some extent provoked the reaction. Nonetheless I suspect it will be a long time before he sticks his fingers up like that again.

When we took him back home later on, the incident was still playing on his mind. He half-feared finding Lin lying on the ground with a knife in her. He was very relieved to see her pottering around in the garden as usual.

So why this early pone call? He surely wasn't still in a state after yesterday? He had to admit he had had an uneasy night, ears stretched for any unusual sounds - intruders perhaps. But that wasn't the real reason.

No, it wasn't that. An old friend, the Bat, has just died. Although we knew the Bat, I wouldn't call him a close friend of ours. He used to work at the Pub when we first arrived in the area but ceased doing so not long after we located the Pub. He was always friendly whenever we saw him. We've given him frequent lifts home in the car. More of a good acquaintance than a friend. I suspect this is another funeral we will have to attend, more to support PD than to grieve for the Bat. We'll see.

Meanwhile PD is hoping we will take him to the Pub today. He needs to be taken away from his troubles. At least the Bat's death is distracting him a bit from his fears resulting from yesterday's incident.

Home insurance now

2011-10-22T11:00:00.000+01:00

I've come to the conclusion I'm not a haggler. I've just rung up to cancel the renewal on our existing home insurance. I've found a better deal elsewhere so I wanted to change company.

The present company works on the modern idea of retaining your card details then automatically charging for the renewal unless you cancel first. This is what I wanted to do. Personally I'd prefer to be expected to positively pay for something rather than having to make the effort to cancel a payment.

So I phone up, explain the situation & say that I want to cancel. Her reaction is to suggest she could have another look & see if they could match or even beat the other company. I wasn't interested.

As far as I'm concerned they should have asked for the lower price in the first place, not now. If they are prepared to cover me at the lower price, then they should have been prepared to cover me at that price in the first place without me having to chase around to find out other offers. If I hadn't done that, they would have undoubtedly have charged me the higher price. I'm just not prepared to haggle. As far as I'm concerned the first price they ask for is what I take as their fair price for the level of cover I want. I'm not prepared to pay that, end of story.

The importance of getting home insurance was emphasised by hearing that friends had had their second home in Spain burgled. They are at present in the midst of haggling with their insurance company for compensation & dealing with workmen to get the house repaired. They're beginning to wish the burglars had just left a demand for £500, which they would have paid willingly in order not to have all the hassle involved in sorting things out now.

At least this time it is their second home. A few years ago they had their primary home burgled which left them with a far greater sense of invasion into their private space & the loss of things with far more emotional attachment, which are difficult, if not impossible, to replace, no matter how much money an insurance company pays up. That was far more traumatic for them.

The visitor

2011-10-20T11:38:00.000+01:00

I was just on my way out of the back door, off looking for some wine to have with dinner later in the day, when I suddenly realised we had a large black visitor in the garden. I hastily stepped back inside while I reviewed the visitor. Friend or foe? I decided friend.

I ventured out again. I approached gently talking to the animal. Somehow a black labrador had arrived on the patio area. Bearing in mind our back garden is encircled with fencing, walls or buildings I was somewhat bemused how this animal had arrived on the scene.

I decided the time had come to check the fences. I ventured up the lawn. All fences seemed fine. Then, at the furthest point, I heard an anxious voice calling "Daisy. Daisy". I guessed Daisy must be the young pup I had gained.

I shouted out to this voice the other side of screen of trees. Sure enough Daisy was a black lab. I reassured our neighbour that Daisy was safely in our garden & tried to get over our address.

The lady at the other side clearly was in such a state she wasn't taken in any of what I was saying. I gather escaping was Daisy latest talent. They'd even tied her down.

By this time Daisy had gambolled up. I grabbed her lead, still attached around her neck. She's clearly an intelligent animal, who just wanted some fun & adventure.

When Daisy heard her owner's voice, she jerked out of my hand, through the fence & shrubbery, into the garden on the other side, animal & master reunited once more. I suspect that will be one fence being repaired, one more hole filled in.

Later in the evening, as I watched the news on the TV, I told myself I was lucky I wasn't in the United States. At least, the large black animal was a friendly labrador pup, not a black bear on the loose. Or a tiger or lion!

A little bit of wind

2011-10-19T10:20:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we toodle along to Morecambe town hall. For those of you who don't know Morecambe, the town hall is on a slight rise. From the car park in front of it you have an unobstructed view across a sunken garden (usually full of colour) & the promenade to the sea. In other words it's fairly open to the elements & the wind which blows along the Bay.

We park at the side of the building, in the disabled parking, get my wheelchair out, get to the side accessible door, press the bell. A dismembered voice, hardly audible over the wind, tells us the lift is out of order. I will have to try the steps at the front., to which I comment that's impossible for me as I'm a wheelchair user.

We decide the best option is for me to wait in the car while the Fox goes round to the front & conducts my business on my behalf. The last few days the winds have been howling. As I sat there, all alone, I could feel the car bouncing up & down in preparation to take off in the air. I couldn't help thinking I wish there was more weight in the car to keep it on the ground. Then the rain & hail arrived, slashing on the windows. I began to feel I, in the car, would be whisked off like Dorothy in "The Wizard of Oz".

When the Fox got back, we contemplated setting off for PD to take him to the Pub as arranged, but PD was at the gym until 3pm so he wouldn't be home yet. We considered staying put until nearer the time. That deliberation didn't last long, as further gusts of wind bounced us around. At least, sat outside PD's house, there was a hill & some houses to break the force of the wind.

As we set off, you could see the sea being whipped up into white horses on top of some very murky cold-looking waters. No day to be out at sea. Gratefully we got to PD's & a lull. Here the buffeting stopped.

After the wildness of yesterday it comes as quite a shock to find blue skies & stillness this morning. A blessed relief!

Don't mention the war

2011-10-18T11:59:00.000+01:00

Just before we set off on our Rhine cruise, the Fox reminded me of the episode from "Fawlty Towers" when Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) reminds everyone not to mention the war when some Germans were coming to stay in the hotel. I thought nothing of this, just laughed a bit.

For me, the war is something that happened before I was born. My parents, in particular my mother, reminisced about it. She remembered both World Wars. She'd lived through them both, lost friends & family as a result. She did so without rancour. I never ended up with any ill-feeling towards the German people, who, to my mind, were almost as great victims of Nazism as the rest of Europe. I watched the war movies on the TV throughout my childhood. When I met the Fox I heard his parents war tales too. It still didn't alter the fact, that for me, the people who did those terrible things were not the German people of today. Any Germans I have met I've got on with reasonably well. I couldn't see there would be a problem.

I was, therefore, surprised how much I felt Germany still seems to be under the shadow of the war.I've been trying to understand why I should feel that.

Is it because Hitler's favourite hotel was pointed out to us? I gather it still has memorabilia from that time. Is it the shrapnel & bullet holes in Cologne cathedral walls? Is it just the sheer amount of new houses, replacing vast areas which must have been flattened in the war.

I can't really believe it is any of those. I have visited places severely damaged in war - Coventry cathedral in this country, many Dutch towns. I've visited museums devoted to the war - The Eden Camp in Malton Yorkshire, the museums on the Isle of Jersey & in Oslo, and most memorably the Resistance Museum in Gouda the Netherlands.

Or is seeing sights like this, the Bridge at Remagen. I remember the 60s film starring George Segal, Ben Gazzara & Robert Vaughn.

The Bridge at Remagen, now a museum

The film was based on the story of the role played by this bridge in the war. But I have seen other ruins from the time, such as those of the Draguignan-Nice railway viaduct at Pont-sur-Loup in the South of France, which were blown up by the Germans in 1944.

In some ways I would have thought of other countries would maybe have a greater ability to remind me of the war. .Most places in Europe have their war memorials, some quite grand ones, & yet I didn't feel this shadow over the land. Maybe it's the fact that I didn't see any such war memorials in Germany & yet surely the German people must have needed to grieve over their fallen, many of whom I am sure died bravely & honourably, & left loving families who took pride in them & wanted to honour & remember them. Or was the war such a terrible thing that the Germans were to ashamed to honour their dead?

Maybe one day I'll work out why this trip had that effect. I wonder...

Busy day ahead

2011-10-17T09:44:00.000+01:00

We've got a busy day ahead of us today. At the moment I've got a chilli con carne on, plopping away. That then should be nice & easy to warm up come this evening.

Then, Angie, our cleaner, is due. Although the Fox is feeling so much better now, it doesn't alter the fact he is still having some off days when he really couldn't cope with the extra task of cleaning on top of other things. Fortunately our local council has let us have enough vouchers we can use for cleaning services to last through most of this financial year. That being so, we will continue to make use of the services of Angie, with a few weeks off over Christmas probably. Come March we will have another review of the situation & decide how fit the Fox feels. If necessary we will put in another application for help next year.

It's PD's birthday today. That means we must get to the Pub this afternoon to help him celebrate. When last we spoke, he was hoping to persuade Lin, his wife, to come too. It's always a pleasure to see her.

Then this evening it's flu jab time. I've never been called in for a flu jab before. I have sometimes questioned whether I shouldn't request one as I have had pneumonia - I missed the fireworks to celebrate the arrival of the new millennium as a result - & I am disabled, but on the other hand I have never had flu, despite being put in flu wards when I've just had one of my regular severe colds. However, now I've got CKD, Chronic Kidney disease, I'm getting the offer. I'm accepting it, not because I suspect I'm any more likely to get flu this year than before, but, rather because if I were to now, with CKD, there can be far worse, quite serious, consequences, & I don't want them. So, tonight, we're both of to the surgery for our jabs.

All of this makes up, for us, a busy day. I suspect a tiring one too! Here goes....

The highlight

2011-10-15T12:01:00.001+01:00

Both the above pictures were taken in Rudesheim on our recent holiday.

I have to confess, in my opinion, Rudesheim was the highlight of our trip. It's a place full of colour, as you can see. It epitomises, to me, the chocolate box image of a German Rhineland town - timber- framed buildings, flower boxes, colour, bustle.

In many ways it's a bit like a Grasmere-on-the-Rhine. The shops are very much aimed at the tourist. But then these villages/towns are dependent on the tourist for their economic survival. On the whole they were not the tatty tourist shops so often found in so many resorts, especially for some reason, in seaside resorts.

Christmas is obviously a big thing in Germany. Many of the shops were already selling Christmas decorations/ novelties. Lights were already going up on roofs as you can see if you enlarge the second picture above. Another month & things will be in full swing there. But then, I suppose, I shouldn't be that surprised, as the German Christmas markets are supposed to be quite fabulous. We have never visited one so we can only go by repute.

The other thing about Rudesheim was the music. The town house Siegreid's Mechanical Musikkabinett, one of the greatest collections of robotic or automation, self-playing musical instruments from the 18th-20th centuries. We didn't go, but all those who went on the organised trip were very impressed.

Siegfried's Mechanical Musikkabinett

Music also pervaded the streets of Rudesheim. In the first square we came to, an accordionist was playing. Further along we bumped into a Dutch oompah band. These characters were going from bar to bar, stopping for a drink at every one. There are a lot of bars in Rudesheim, so when we met up with them again nearly an hour later, they were getting more & more erratic as they continued on their way. Even so, the sound of music, no matter how erratically played brought a sense of cheer & light-heartedness to the town & its visitors.

On the outskirts of the town we found the wine museum, housed in an impressive-looking 13th century medieval castle. Again we didn't enter in.

The other thing that struck us was the food. Food on our ship was poor. At Rudesheim we were seriously tempted to abandon ship, as wonderful smells assaulted our noses setting our tums rumbling. The menus sounded basic but the smells suggested something good. We decided to stick with the ship's food. That evening the menu had sounded better, and indeed it was one of the best meals on the whole trip. Many others gave way to temptation. It was noticeable that the ship's restaurant was half-empty and we couldn't entirely blame them.

As you can tell we loved this place. We would happily return again & maybe venture into one of the museums, try some of the food, or venture up in the cable car to the top of the vine-laden hills for what I suspect would be a superb view across & along the Rhine. Or maybe we would visit Bingen, famed for the musical nun Hildegaard, on the other side of the river.

The chase

2011-10-14T11:59:00.003+01:00

Well, the car insurance is sorted & paid for. I've got this week's ironing done. Now I can think about turning my attention to other things. In particular, my mind is going towards dinner.

Today I'm having a go with Big Ears, our slow cooker. This new, to us, equipment has been taken over by the Fox. He's grown to love it as much as the wok. His Pea & Ham Soup yesterday (see his blog) was excellent. It may not have been his mother's, but nonetheless it was tasty & satisfying.

This is only my second endeavour. I'm tackling a Chicken Cacciatore. I'm a bit nervous about it. The wine has to be boiled to reduce & I'm not sure if the hot setting will be hot enough to do this. It is hot enough to pre-fry meat etc so hopefully it will be okay. If the worse comes to the worst I will just have to empty the wine into a saucepan, reduce it then return it to Big Ears. We'll see.

Meanwhile I've discovered we're not the only people suffering the fly & midge epidemic. We went to our village pub yesterday. There we watched the landlady in full attack with a rolled up magazine as she chased around the bar. The problem is, with there being food around, lemons for the drinks etc, she doesn't feel she can really use a fly spray. In the kitchens they have these ultra-violet lights but she reckons the pesky critters have learnt to avoid them now. It's really getting her down. She's never known it as bad as this year & suspects we're right when we suggest it's all those green bins, full of unwrapped rotting food & not collected sometimes for weeks at a time, that are the cause. It is to be hoped that, by next summer, a more regular, & therefore healthier, collection arrangement can be organised. Meanwhile roll on some really cold weather to get rid of them!

Changing

2011-10-13T11:15:00.000+01:00

I've spent the morning ringing around for car insurance quotes. Once we've made the decision I'll be able to tell all the calls from insurance companies they're just too late. So far I've got to a price that is just £4 more than last year, considerably better than the £40 increase that our present company is asking for.

It never ceases to amaze me how the price of insurance just seems to go up & up. I accept that last year we did have a bad winter so there were probably more car insurance claims as a consequence. Nonetheless, that doesn't alter the fact we weren't among the claimants & the value of our car has gone down as it aged.

I'm also aware part of the increase is due to the fact so many companies have great introductory offers. Once they think they've hooked you, they assume you'll stay with them for the rest of your life, whatever premiums they demand. I'm afraid I'm a believer in checking around first. If it's only a few pounds difference I might stay to save the hassle of moving, but when it gets to £40+ that's a different matter. We're changing.

One good thing is that the companies I've contacted have also given a house & contents quote too so I won't have to go through the whole hassle again, when that renewal notice arrives. That should be any day now. I will already have something to compare it against so hopefully that will be a quick and easy decision.

Under pressure

2011-10-12T10:41:00.000+01:00

I'm feeling somewhat under pressure. The car insurance is due later this month & we seem to be being inundated with calls offering special prices & to decide there & then. I really object to being expected to make instant decisions. If a decision is good, it will still be good after I've had time to check around & mull things over. It is all too easy to make an instant decision & then regret it.

Even at the Pub, pressure is being put on us. Mr P, the ex-music teacher, is eager for us to book a table at his new dining club/restaurant later this month. He assures us the place is all wheelchair accessible. What he doesn't seem to take in is that we usually eat at 6pm, & I'm getting ready for, even sometimes, as last night, in, bed by 7pm. His place doesn't even open until 7.30pm. I appreciate for working people that is a better time but it's not much use for us. We wish him well in his venture but I'm not sure if that means we'll be going for a meal with him. I will admit there is a bit of me that wonders if we shouldn't make the effort & give him our support. He clearly wants it. I dare say if we went on a Saturday, when I could have a mid-afternoon nap to keep me going, I might cope with such a late meal. We'll see, but these are the wrong tactics. The more he pressures, the more my back goes up in resistance.

The next bit of pressure I suppose will be over the house insurance due at the beginning of next month. I expect that will mean another wave of phone calls.

Does it ever end?!

Bridge of love

2011-10-10T09:43:00.002+01:00


Hohenzollern Bridge Cologne

I finally managed to insert a photo. This is the Hohenzollern Bridge crossing the Rhine. Here we found an unexpected surprise. By the side of the walk way, you can see what looks like a multi-coloured mosaic from this distance. But click on the photo so enlarging it, look closer and you will find it isn't that at all. In fact all that colour is provided by hundreds of differently coloured & designed padlocks. On most of them the names of two lovers are scrawled. The idea seems to be to fix the padlock on mesh forming the wall & throw the key in the Rhine, or to give it to the object of your love, as a sign of how undying & true that love is. Maybe one day such an act would have appealed to us, but these days. I feel we've proved our love & its endurance by being still together, & in love, nearly forty years on. Such signs seem a bit belated & irrelevant.

Under way

2011-10-08T11:15:00.000+01:00

AS the weather has changed, my attention has been turned to sorting out the Christmas meal for the Geriatrics' Corner at the Pub. Somehow gales, thunderstorms, hailstorms etc is suggestive of the onset of winter and, with it, the fact Xmas is on the way. At least, so far there's been more interest than in the end-of-the-month meals.

This year has not been a good year for our merry little group. The Fox had his stroke in March. Then, a couple of months ago, Fran had a heart attack. Fortunately, as with the Fox, it was only a mild one, but, nonetheless, a heart attack. Meanwhile PD has managed to put on yet more weight with the result his breathing, and morale, has got even worse. Growing older brings its problems.

So far we've got 9 definites and a few hope-tos & yet-to-let-me-knows.

I had been intending to add a few pictures of our recent trip down the Rhine today, but somehow I seem to have forgotten how to download them. I get so far. I choose the pictures but I can't actually insert them. I'll have another go another day. As you will have realised by now, I'm not the most computer-literate of people. Unless I'm in the right state of mind I rapidly get frustrated, ready to throw things at the screen rather than stopping to think things out, a failing in me.

Home

2011-10-06T10:57:00.000+01:00

We ended up watching "Location Location" (Channel 4) last night on TV. It's not a programme we watch regularly, just when we want a stare & don't really want to make too much effort. A few thoughts struck me.

Firstly, a couple were looking for their first home together. They talked about buying somewhere to live for 5-10 years. Undoubtedly I don't think it's worth the expense of buying unless you intend to stay for years rather than weeks. I suppose we've always bought in thought of living in a place for the foreseeable future. The flat we had in Arnside was bought with the thought we'd live there until it became impractical when the children came along. The children never came along & we stayed put - for 23 years! Our present home we bought as a place to live probably for the rest of our lives, or at least until we become so infirm or one of us dies with the result the place becomes just too much. 5-10 years seems so short to me - we've already been here longer than that & I feel we've only just moved in - but I suppose for young 20-somethings it must seem a long time, half a lifetime.

The other thing that struck me was when Kirstie despaired when a single young man questioned whether it was really such a good idea for him to buy rather than rent. A house is an investment she assured him. It can be a nightmare, though. Most people have to start with huge mortgages but as time goes on & property prices change, they can find themselves in a negative equity situation, burdened with huge debt & unable to move house or to afford to upkeep the property. At least renting the landlord is responsible for most of the major maintenance costs, not the tenant. You can easily move into alternative, possibly cheaper property if you need to at a later date.

The other great thing about renting is that it gives you flexibility. This young man doesn't know where life is going to take him (admittedly it's debatable if anyone knows that except God!). He may well need to move with work. He may find a partner who hates any property he buys now. That partner may already have a property so one will need to be sold, possibly before the costs of buying & doing up are re-cooped.

Meanwhile so much capital is tied up in property which you never release until you downsize (though that isn't always the case), enter a care home or die. If you just move house, you usually end up buying a similar priced, if not more expensive, house to move to. You still don't have the use of that capital for other things, possibly other investments.

I suppose, above all, I can't help thinking you are buying a home, a place to live, to put roots down in, not an investment. It is only incidentally the latter in most cases & over a long time.

And just at the moment I'm still revelling at being home, with the Fox. It's great.

The bland mystery

2011-10-04T09:25:00.000+01:00

Undoubtedly our greatest joy about being home is food, that is food with flavour. We still can't quite get over the appalling food on ship. I'm coming to the conclusion no matter how adequate the quantity is, if you don't enjoy a meal, you don't feel satisfied or filled.

Yesterday we threw ourselves into chicken curry pancakes. I'd had to go to see the GP first thing so I was still in the midst of making them when Angie, our cleaner, arrived. She's never thought of filling pancakes with the curry mix before. For us it is an old favourite, a way of making a little leftover cooked chicken stretch a bit further. And oh the joy of spice after so much blandness.

Today's bit of spice will come in the form of some pepperoni I've found in the freezer. I reckon it will be just enough to top a home made pizza. I'll be cheating with a bought pizza base, but the topping will be all mine. It should be quick and easy to do which is just as well as we're intending to do the food shop today. And what a list that is! I can see it will take some time to do.

At the moment we're even revelling in simple things like champ, a good bit of Lancashire cheese, crisp chips. I did think part of the blandness of our holiday food lay in the fact we had chicken or pork for most meals. The only alternative being "white fish", whatever that I might be. (I couldn't tell you from my attempt at eating it). I came back hankering for red meat, a nice bit of lamb or beef. Yet all we've had of that since getting home is some minced beef in one of the Fox's excellent spicy spag bols. We've continued with mainly pork or chicken with the odd bit of pollack one day. But somehow our meals haven't tasted bland. We've dug into chicken pies & curries, enjoyed even a plain grilled piece of pork fillet (with a chilli dressing admittedly), loved some pork & black pudding sausages. We've enjoyed the lot.

To me it is total mystery how you manage to make so much so bland food. Even a simple grill should have flavour. The more I think of our holiday food the more I'm convinced the caterers regarded us as coming from a country with a reputation for blandness, mixed with the added disadvantage of being a load of sick people who ought not to have salt, cream or spice, or anything else that might overexcite us. The result was something on a par with hospital food, never an experience I would count as fine dining, more a case of trying to find something on the menu that may be edible, in other words the least worst.

Catching up

2011-10-02T12:01:00.000+01:00

Weather's changed hereabouts. Once more we're back to grey & wet. It's just as well. Last night was unpleasantly sticky. I'm hoping we'll finally see the end of midges for a while, maybe even for this year.

Since I last wrote we've been getting on top of things. There always seems so much to do after you've been away. Unpacking, washing, ironing, re-discovering what's on the kitchen's shelves, in the fridge & freezer, catching up on all that's happened in your absence.

At last most of the chores have been done. The washing & ironing is done & is now once more at usual levels. Every day we seem to discover something new we're low on foodwise - butter, sugar, margarine, bread stock cubes. We've yet to do any food shopping beyond the milk the Fox got when we first returned home. That is obviously going to be one of the big events of the week as far as we are concerned.

Yesterday Al turned up & cut the lawn. It looks considerably better than it did. Earlier in the week I picked what few apples & pears remained on the trees after the hurricane that blew through just before we went away. Al took some pears along with some sage & rosemary.

We bumped into Angie, our cleaner, on Friday, so we've remade contact with her. Even met her daughter.

All the gang at the Pub we've reseen.

Mr P, the retired teacher, opened up his dining club while we were away. The first night went well, if a little chaotically. He's not discouraged by the challenge of the cooking, but does feel he's going to have to do something about the pricing. Otherwise he's never going to make up the money he's spent on refurbishing the room. He's eager for us to come to the meal later this month. We'll think about it.

Henry, one of the regulars, was at the Pub. He went on a Rhine cruise a couple of weeks before us. Different ship but same poor food. His trip sounds like a bit of a disaster. He's quite elderly. Although he wouldn't regard himself as disabled, he does have some mobility difficulties. He doesn't walk very far these days. He was shocked to discover the cabins were 4 levels down & there were no lifts. To get on land at every stop, you had to cross several other ships first - not the easiest thing for him to do. Prices on ship were extortionate. He spent the entire time on the ship. It had even rained all the time to complete his misery. We couldn't help commenting he should have come with us. By comparison we had a great time with plenty of sunshine & warmth, lifts even to the sundeck, reasonable on-board prices, just poor food. Fortunately since then, Henry's been on another holiday, a trip to France, to St Omer, with some friends, which has helped to restore his sense of well-being.

I had a chat with one of my cousin's. She & her husband had been on holiday to Anglesey, while we were away. They, too, were catching up on things. She was particularly pleased to hear how much better the Fox seems to be doing.

Next week we'll still be catching up on things - the food shopping, visiting doctors, finding out when the Fox has a hospital appointment to find out about the results of the MRI scan to replace the one cancelled just before we set off, seeing about some new knee braces for me (my present ones are tending to lose their stretch so less effective), sorting out the bathroom's lights .....

So much to do. But it's great to be home. I sometimes think that is the real value of a holiday. You appreciate being home so much more.

Continuing massacre

2011-09-29T08:57:00.002+01:00

The massacre continues. The midges are still on the loose, flying all round the kitchen in particular. Before we went away, they had just about died down. We left with clean windows & sills. After a squidging & spraying session last night I counted nearly 30 bodies on just half of one small window sill. Eating in a cloud of midges is not a pleasant thing. You can't relax as creatures dive bomb your meal/wine or into your face.

We think we've solved the question of the cause of the infestation. Last winter our council introduced a new re-cycling scheme. Now, into our green bin, we must put any food scraps, unwrapped. The result is that midges inside the bin multiply & there are always plenty around the outside eager for access to the food within. It doesn't help with the weather turning warm once more, especially when the bin hasn't been emptied for several weeks. It is only emptied on a fortnightly basis at the best of times. The last time or two when the bin was due to be emptied it has been so windy, the bins have been blown over or been swept into the roads, so we've not even dared to put them out.

We've now moved the bin a bit further from the house in the hope the problem will be eased. Much as I love the warmth, there is a bit of me that thinks roll on the winter, let it be a harsh one & kill off some of this pestilential wildlife.

On a more cheery tone, a sunflower has opened out to welcome us home. I always think they are so cheerful-looking with their sunny faces. They always make me smile. Whenever I plant the seeds the birds dig them up to eat them. So I've abandoned that idea. This is one the birds have planted themselves. The potato growing bags would not have been where we would have chosen to plant a sunflower, but as we never got around to planting any veg this year, it isn't a problem. And this golden flower certainly brightens up a dark patch of the garden.

Home again

2011-09-28T11:09:00.000+01:00

We're home again. And it's great. There's many good things to say about the holiday. above all it is wonderful to report that the Fox coped far better than he anticipated. The journey was tiring, but it didn't alter the fact the next day he felt up to pushing me around Cologne so we could see a bit of the city. We didn't go off the ship every day but we did have a few exploratory strolls, with some steep-ish hills & ramps, not to mention cobbles. But for all this, although he felt at times he was dragging his leg a bit he feels none the worse for the exercise. When we arrived home, he walked round the corner for some milk for teas & found the discomfort from being cooped up in the plane & taxi was eased by the gentle stroll. Things definitely seem on the mend healthwise for him. Three cheers.

On the whole it was a good holiday. I don't think I've laughed so much in my life, being reduced to tears or incomprehensibility on several occasions. The sun shone every day, quite warmly at times. It was wonderfully relaxing watching the land gently passing as we sailed along the river.

The food was the greatest disappointment. I don't think they're used to trying to cook English. They clearly had heard of the British reputation for blandness, which may have been true immediately post-war but I don't think really is the case these days. On top of which I think they were trying to cook healthily - after all we were half a shipload of ill people - with the result flavour seemed to be a strange idea. We celebrated our return with lunch of tinned sardines on toast, stunned by the idea of fish we could taste!

There were other niggles, but on the whole we return feeling we've had a good holiday, a wonderful change of scene, met some lovely people we hope to keep in contact with, well rested & ready to pick up our lives again. Nonetheless we're glad to be home. Maybe that is the joy of a good holiday.

More will probably follow, maybe even some pictures. But that can wait for another day..This blog is mainly to say we're safely home.

Farewell for the moment

2011-09-19T10:36:00.002+01:00

I suspect this will be my last blog for a while. We're off on our travels early on Tuesday. With Angie coming tomorrow I'm not sure if I'll have time to go on-line. I will also have the inevitable packing to do.

We both regard this as a big chore. It isn't the putting into the case that's so difficult. It's the deciding what to take. We don't want to take an excessive amount - the less we take the easier it will be for the Fox to cart them around - but we will have a couple of parties to dress up for - the welcoming one & the departure one.

Each time I look at the weather forecast in Germany it seems to vary so I'm not quite sure whether I'm packing to be comfortable in warm sunshine or cool drab greyness. I dare say I'll end up working on the layering principle. If I have a t-shirt on I'm set for the warmth. If a wear a woolly over that I'm set for the cold. And if I wear a long sleeved blouse as well I'm set for mid-temperatures.

Tomorrow afternoon the Fox is off to the barber's for his hair tidy, while I try to get thing in the bags. I just hope we can decide on a reasonable quantity for the week's holiday.

We're only away for just over a week so I should be back before the end of the month. So for the moment farewell & I will tell you all about the trip when we're back.

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In party mood

2011-09-16T10:01:00.000+01:00

It was a grand day yesterday. The sun shone, even fairly warmly. I spent most of my morning out on the Mean Machine.

First I set off for the hairdresser's. It's time for a last minute smarten up before our holiday. I was struck by how many smiles everyone seemed to have. I think it was the sheer relief of seeing blue skies, feeling some warmth on face, above all not being soaked & blown about.

After that I went to the fish shop for some cod & scallops for dinner. More smiles. Ray, the shop owner, is also a fisherman. His potted shrimps are among the best. He even appeared on a Rick Stein TV show, taking the latter on a shrimping expedition. Yesterday, as I got to the shop, he was just preparing for such a fishing trip. He hasn't been out all week. It's just been so rough that he's not bothered. I don't blame him. Needless to say I got some of his potted shrimps as well.

It never ceases to amaze me how a bit of sun can raise the spirits. Everyone I passed seemed in good humour, almost in party mood. Complete strangers cheerily called out greetings. Even the birds seemed exultant. On the sands, near the waters' edge were at least a hundred oystercatchers rootling in the moist sands. The butterflies seemed more active with red admirals & small tortoiseshells fluttering around.

Unfortunately the extra warmth brought out our midges once more. They seemed to die down in the colder weather. Yesterday I think I ended my meal by squashing a dozen of them. The Fox did likewise. We're becoming adept at this - too much practice. I've had another go today. The windows are once more covered with smears. Angie is getting a lot of practice at window cleaning.

Needless to say, today is back to grey & damp. It couldn't last for long.

Sad news

2011-09-14T10:18:00.001+01:00

Last night the banshees finally arrived. The wind had obviously changed direction so now it howled down the chimney. It seems a bit calmer this morning. That's not to say it's wind-free.

But first I have sad news to report. There's a great pile of soft grey feathers at the base of one of our evergreen trees. There's no sign of an actual body. I suspect from the colour & quantity of the feathers, this pile represents the demise of one of our collared doves. I hope it isn't a sign that the peregrine falcon has returned. Although the latter is a magnificent bird to see, it doesn't alter the fact that it means an absence of other birds for weeks. They don't seem to have been very plentiful of late but I had put that down to the gales that have blown.

Meanwhile I'm back to the last bit of topside. You may remember that last week I had a bit of a culinary disaster with a very tough bit of cooked topside that went into some Durham cutlets. I've been resisting using the other half ever since. Today I've decided it's got to be used up. I'm making a beef curry. I'm hoping the long soak in the moist sauce will help moisten, & so tenderise the meat. Either way it will be that bit used up. It will not be hanging over me all holiday.

We're off to do the food shopping this afternoon. I'm very much in two minds about what to get. We're off away next week. It is already about three weeks since the last big shop so the cupboards & fridge are looking pretty bare. On the other hand, there's not many meals to go & I don't want to get too many fresh ingredients that won't keep before we go. It certainly would be useful to have some food in so we don't have shop immediately when we get back except for the inevitable milk for the all essential cups of tea. We usually appreciate a couple of days to recover from the travelling & to regain our bearings.

Blown around

2011-09-13T11:26:00.000+01:00

I see the second leg of the Tour of Britain cycle race, due to go through this area yesterday, was cancelled. I can't say I'm surprised. The amount of wind & rain we've had all weekend!

Yesterday we went along the prom to the Pub. As we drove along you could hear the persistent pecking of sand hitting the car windows as it blew off the beach inland. In parts you could see great drifts off sand crossing the road. I wouldn't like to have been walking, let alone cycling, in such weather.

Today is at least bright &, so far, dry. But it is also very, very windy. The wind is drying the ground rapidly. I actually managed to reach the apple tree to pick a few apples this morning before I started to sink into the sodden green area, known as our lawn.

Still, we've had some good news. The tickets for our holiday have arrived. I've booked the taxi. All we need now is a few euros & we're set. I can't see why we should need many as I suspect most of our spending will be on the boat & that we can pay on card at the end of the trip. But you never know, maybe the weather will improve & we will feel inclined to get off the boat to explore & need some cash for entrance fees, drinks, souvenirs etc.

The landlord of the Pub is on a cruise at the moment. He was due to cross the Bay of Biscay yesterday. I suspect there were a few seasick passengers on that ship. Hopefully it won't be so bad on a riverboat such as the one we are going on. But whatever the weather it should be a welcome relaxing break from routine. Hope so.

Going better

2011-09-10T10:55:00.000+01:00

We've finally got space in the garage. Kelly & her partner came round to take away the dining table & chairs. Suddenly there seems masses of space. I wonder how long it will take us to refill it?

Meanwhile yesterday I managed to make a meal that, whilst not exciting, was reasonably well cooked. It was a vegetarian main course soup. I even used Big Ears, our new slow cooker, for the first time. Until now it's been the Fox's toy. Much as I try to persuade myself all the lentils & chickpeas are every bit as nutritional & filling as meat, I can't quite convince myself. Just occasionally I enjoy of vegetarian meal. I feel I ought to have a go at them. We do have vegetarian friends & one of these days we might end up inviting them around for a meal - unlikely I know. Disability & entertaining don't go - too demanding, stressful & tiring.

I do at least feel encouraged at the sight of the great slab of belly pork, currently sitting in the fridge ready for cooking this evening. Having a break has certainly renewed my enthusiasm for cooking & hopefully the results will keep it going.

The car's been repaired, at not too great an expense. The only cause of anxiety that remains is the fact the tickets haven't arrived yet for our holiday. We're due to be off in just over a week. We're reluctant to order the taxi to the airport until we have the times & flight numbers confirmed by the actual ticket. We've known them to change times substantially, incurring some inconvenience, not to say cost, to reorganise other arrangements such as parking & taxis. Hopefully they'll be here Monday. Then the last pieces of organisation can fall into place & we will be ready for go.

Not a complete waste

2011-09-09T11:52:00.000+01:00

The hospital trip was a real waste of time. We duly got there in plenty of time. We stood in a queue for ten minutes while the receptionist sorted out the one person in front of us - reckoned the computer was on the go slow! Meanwhile the chap behind us enquired whether there was even a receptionist working. We assured him there was. Eventually she finished with the man in front of us. The Fox moved forward & handed over his letter of appointment to be told the session had been cancelled. We asked why they hadn't told us. Even if the session was cancelled that day they could have phoned us as our telephone number is on file. She had no idea & entirely agreed with us. We went away disgruntled, to see the chap who'd been behind us in the queue following almost immediately. Presumably the same thing had happened to him.

Fortunately the day was redeemed by our visit to the Asian food shop, where we eventually chose two bottles of soy sauce. That was quite a challenge. There were shelf loads of them, differing slightly according to where they came from. We could have had Chinese, Filipino, Korean, Thai, Japanese...... We plonked on a couple of Chinese ones since we cook primarily Chinese food. It's certainly different from Morrisons where you're hard put sometimes to find one bottle, let alone a choice.

We also successfully got the sandals. Not one pair but two. They were both on sale so the two pairs more or less cost the price of one full price pair. That should be me sorted for sandals for quite a while.

The shopping we did before setting off to the hospital. Afterwards we decided to keep to the idea of eating out. We'd been looking forward to it & we hadn't bothered to prepare anything expecting to be eating out. We also didn't fancy trying to get around Lancaster in the midst of rush hour. We decided to go to Caton, a small village on the east side of Lancaster, like the hospital, & so avoid the traffic standstill that is Lancaster at that time of day.

We took the country road over to Quernmore, so avoiding Lancaster city centre. It's ages since we've been that way. It really is beautiful. At one point, you can see over the city of Lancaster, with its old buildings such as the priory church & castle, across the sands of Morecambe Bay, to the Lakeland fells. It was so clear & bright. Fabulous.

The pub we went to I suspect we would have liked if it had only been more accessible. It was impossible to go to the loo without going around the outside of the building & even then the last bit was too narrow for a wheelchair so I had to walk. I managed but it's not something I would want to repeat too often. It's amazing how not being able to get to the toilet plays on your mind when you are eating & drinking out.

By the time we were ready to leave, the traffic had virtually disappeared from Lancaster so there was no hold up getting through the city - much easier & faster than it would have been earlier at 5pm.

The meal & the successful shop did mean the afternoon wasn't an entire waste of time. Now we await another letter, another appointment time, & probably another late trip into Lancaster. What's the betting it will be when we're away in Germany?

To Lancaster

2011-09-08T10:07:00.000+01:00

Hospital day today. We had intended to go into Lancaster early. The appointment is at 4.45pm but that means trying to cross Lancaster in the midst of rush hour. Lancaster is always a bottleneck. The traffic grinds to a halt from about 4.15pm to 6pm.

We're hoping to do a bit of shopping first. At least then we will be on the same side of the city as the hospital.

Recently a couple of Asian food shops have opened up - the first in the area. We find them full of wonders & mysteries. We need to buy some more soy sauce, both light & dark, & some Shaoxing wine. Although the former we can easily buy at Morrisons here in Morecambe, the bottles are so small. We cook stir-fries etc so often the bottles empty very quickly. Our only problem with these Asian shops is that so many of the goods have writing in Chinese or Japanese which neither of us can read. Still, the staff is very helpful.

I was also hoping to have another hunt for sandals. Time's running out. It's less than two weeks to our holiday & I'd like to be able to take them with me.

I'm dithering from present to past tense as I wonder how much we will really want to shop if the rain continues as it is at the moment. We're having yet another wet day. It's rained all week, even closing some roads to Lancaster with flooding. At least the wind has eased a bit. Many trees are now standing bare, leafless for the winter. I'm wondering if any apples & pears will still be on the trees in our garden by the time the ground is dry enough to stand on to get to the trees to pick the fruit. The prospect of traipsing round Lancaster in the rain, then sitting around the hospital in wet clothes, does not greatly appeal.

The reason why we have to make this trip to the hospital is to get the results of the Fox's MRI scan. It seems ages since the scan - in fact mid-July. Meanwhile the tinnitus rings on. Maybe we will finally find out if there's something that can be done to help him. Hope so.

Culinary disasters

2011-09-07T10:32:00.000+01:00

I'm just about ready to give up on cooking. Much as I love it, I'm coming to the conclusion that I've just lost the knack.

What set me off on this line of thought?

It began on Monday. We had Durham cutlets - triangular shaped rissoles using up some left over roast beef from the freezer. I diced the meat rather than minced it, added all the other ingredients, coated them in breadcrumbs & duly fried them up in the evening. Talk about tough! We chewed & chewed. It didn't help that is was pretty tasteless too. The Fox abandoned his cutlet before the end. He'd just had enough of chewing for so little reward.

Now this is a recipe I have done many times before & we've enjoyed it. The beef, a piece of roast topside, was very dense. I was aware of that as I diced it. I'm now left wondering what I'm going to do with the other bit of the same joint that's still sitting in the freezer. Dare I risk mincing it before re-heating it? Or would it be better to put it in plenty of sauce to soften, & hopefully moisten it, it a bit? A curry perhaps. At present I'm tempted to just bin it, but that seems an awful waste & I abhor waste.

I was really put out by this disaster & felt totally disillusioned. Nonetheless I agreed I'd cook again yesterday, just some frozen pies. I preheated the oven as instructed, popped the pies in & got on with the accompanying vegetables. After 10 minutes of the recommended 30-35 mins cooking time, at a lower temperature than stated on the packet so allowing for the extra heat of a fan oven, I was struck by a rather acrid smell. I went over to the oven. I sniffed at the vents, looked through the door window & hastily opened the door. The pastry lids were black. I turned the oven down, left the door open a while to speed up the cooling down process. The rest of the cooking time was spent diving to & from the oven opening the door, letting out the smoke.

It didn't help that the content of the pies was chicken, not something I wanted to serve not properly cooked. I feared the pastry might be burnt but the contents raw. At the end of the cooking time, when the veg was ready, I nervously took the pies out to serve, cut one in half & inspected the chicken. It looked cooked. I served up. Needless to say we both cut the black top of the lid off.

I'm not entirely sure now how safe a meal it was. My tum's been upset all night & even now doesn't feel entirely settled. I'll be writing an e-mail of complaint to that company. There's something drastically wrong with their cooking instructions. I'm confident our oven is working normally. I've certainly not had any other problems.

So it is with some relief that I write the Fox is cooking today. He's getting the wok out to do a chicken in black bean sauce stir-fry. Then tomorrow we're eating out. The Fox has a hospital appointment at 4.45pm in Lancaster. By the time we're out of there we reckon all we'll want to do is eat, not start to cook.

I'll see if I can raise the courage to cook again come Friday. Maybe it's time I had a break. Maybe this holiday on the Rhine later this month is just what I need - a good battery recharge & hopefully regain my cooking skills.

The Reith Lectures

2011-09-06T11:01:00.000+01:00

I've just been listening to some of the "Reith Lecture" on BBC Radio4. The speaker was Baroness Eliza Manningham-Buller, the former Director General of MI5. Her subject today was terror. We seem to be surrounded at the moment by programmes, both on radio & television, of that terrible day ten years ago when the Twin Towers were attacked.

At the time the Baroness was the Deputy Director General. She accompanied the Prime Minister & others on their trip to the United States to offer advice & support to the US government after the incident.

What struck me most, is that they should have listened to her more at the time. Experience with the Irish IRA had taught her, you can not defeat terrorism with violence or policing. All that achieves is martyrs for the cause. No, the way to defeat terrorism is to remove the motives that justify the actions of the terrorists.

In this instance it would have meant making Muslims feel included in western society, to enable them to be as affluent as people in the West, certainly not to be threatened by the West.. Maybe try to get Israel into a more settled peaceful relations with its Arab neighbours, using political rather military methods. It wasn't to try to bomb Muslims into submission.

I can't help thinking she was right. I've never understood the justification for going into Iraq. Much as I admit that Saddam Hussein was an evil man, it didn't mean we had the right to go in all guns blazing. Equally I'm damned if I can understand what we're doing in Afghanistan. I've no time for the Taliban but that's Afghanistan's problem & it is for them to sort things out. All I can honestly say that has been achieved, is that Muslims around the world, even moderate ones, must feel that Islam is under attack in the West. They are looked at with suspicion wherever they go, even when they have done nothing to justify it. They must end up feeling resentful if nothing else. On top of which many will now have family & friends killed, often for no reason except that they were in the wrong place at the wrong time when bombing or firing broke out. Is it surprising that increased/increasing numbers should rally to the extremist Islamic cause? It's certainly not helped with the iniquities of Guantanamo & rumours of torture there, & elsewhere committed by, or on behalf of, the West.

None of the above is to deny support to our armed service personnel, fighting, getting wounded & dying in the subsequent wars. They were doing the jobs they were ordered to do to the best of their abilities. Most have shown great bravery & stayed within the bounds of what they were ordered to do. Their masters may have given wrong orders, but that does not detract from their efforts.

A not so clean home

2011-09-04T12:03:00.000+01:00

Angie, our regular cleaner, should be back tomorrow. She'll be having a shock. We're usually reasonably clean anyway but not this time.

On Friday, the man eventually came to service the gas fire, at 1pm, not my idea of morning. Sure enough the fire is now working. But what a mess he made! Even before we dared go out that afternoon, the Fox had felt the need to get the vacuum cleaner out. The chair nearest the fire, was grey, not the usual dark blue. The skirting board below the fire seemed to have an inch of dust on top of it. I, meanwhile, had gone off to the loo to discover the sink was similarly grey with dust so ended up washing the sink as well as my hands. Last night the Fox went to put a CD in, some jazz to accompany a particularly splendid Chilean chardonnay. He found his hand turned grey as he touched the hi-fi equipment. Out came the duster. This morning when I ventured out, I couldn't help being struck but all the mucky fingerprints over the normally white door.

On top of that, war has been declared in the Fox's den. We seem to have had a plague of midges. It's difficult having dinner with them flying around in front of your nose, trying to land in your dinner, going swimming in the wine glass & bottle. We're killing every one we can catch. The kitchen windows have smears all over from squashed bodies. They seem more somnolent in the night, when it's cold, & first thing in the morning. By now the windows could definitely do with a wash.

So tomorrow Angie will have plenty to do. Meanwhile I will be continuing to wait. The spare part has still not arrived at the garage. Until then we can only wait for the repair to be done. Here's hoping it will be done tomorrow.

Still waiting

2011-09-02T10:56:00.001+01:00

I'm still waiting. I feel I've been waiting all week.

I suppose I always feel a bit unsettled when it's a Bank Holiday weekend. My sense of the days of the week gets disrupted.

Then on Tuesday we went out, with it being our wedding anniversary - another disruption, enjoyable but undeniably another a disruption.

Wednesday was a day of waiting as the garage had said they would be round to sort out the car. They came, but a spare part had to be ordered, so more waiting. They said they would be around again as soon as the part arrived. Next day perhaps.

So yesterday I waited for the man from the garage to return. No sign of him. Presumably the part didn't arrive.

So now I'm waiting for two things. One - the man from the garage. Two - the man to service &, if necessary, repair the gas fire. The fire wouldn't light the other very cold evening. We'd even ended up putting on the central heating. It was just so cold. But it seems ridiculous to have to put on the central heating when you just want to take the chill of one room for an hour, maybe less. The fire is due its service later this month so we thought we might as well get the two jobs in one go.

So it is, I sit here, tapping away on the computer, one eye turning to the window at every sound or sign of movement in the street, waiting. And waiting.

Even the day seems to be waiting. It's one of those dark brooding sort of days. I feel rain is in the air but doesn't seem to coming down. Just waiting like me.

Robert Robinson

2011-08-31T10:15:00.001+01:00

Well, I'm back to waiting, yet again. There are times when I begin to think that is all that life is about. Waiting. This time I'm waiting for the man from the garage, coming to sort out our indicator problem.

Meanwhile I've been listening to "A Tribute to Robert Robinson" on BBC Radio 4. I was sorry to hear he'd died when he'd died earlier this year. I'd heard of it at the time. I was not entirely surprised as I'd realised his long absence from broadcasting was due to ill-health & I'd also realised he must be getting on a bit.

I suppose I have to admit I've always had a certain affection for this erudite man, someone who knew how to use words & sentences. I knew him primarily as quiz master in programmes such as "Call my Bluff", "Ask the Family" & "Brain of Britain". I'd never realised why I'd appreciated him so much in that role until someone commented that Robert Robinson never forgot that quizzes were about having fun. He never put people down in such shows, no matter how far wrong their answers were. He always seemed to try to make participants as much at ease as he could in what, for them, was a very stressful, unaccustomed position. So many question masters seem to sneer at contestants, commenting how stupid they are sometimes, which I find a very irritating, unpleasant characteristic. This could never be said of Robert Robinson.

I will admit I was surprised to discover he was a Liverpudlian by birth. I would never have guessed it. He never struck me as being particularly northern.

He will be missed.

A Mixture of a Day

2011-08-30T10:40:00.001+01:00

Yesterday was an odd day. It started well. Kelly, the relief cleaner, turned up, promptly at 11.00 am this time.As I said last week, she is a delight of a person, full of energy & goodwiill. During the course of conversation, she told me she'd had the weekend off.

"Done anything special?" I asked.

"Yes. We went round all the car boot sales. We got a couple of things, a new rug, some toys for the children. But what we were really looking for was a dining table & chairs."

My head instantly turned to the dining table & chairs that have been sitting in the garage for the last few years, ever since we had the kitchen redone & had bought a circular table to replace the old square one. We have offered it to numerous people but keep being told it's too old-fashioned, too dark. We were prepared to give it away to charity, to a homeless person trying to set up home. Still no takers. The tables, & in particular the padded seated chairs, are too old to have a fire retardant tag so charities can't take them. The only remaining option is to pay the council to take it to the tip, to break it up into firewood. That just seemed criminal to us when it is a good quality piece of furniture, even if out of fashion. I mentioned it to Kelly. Her eyes lit up.

"Could I see it?"

"Of course," I replied & led her off to the garage.

Her eyes widened as the table emerged from under the rubbish that had been place on it. "It's fabulous. It's just what we're looking for. It's not for us , but my mother-in-law. It's perfect. Can I have it?" I agreed. Kelly instantly rang up to check it sounded okay with her mother-in-law. They'll come and collect as soon as they can organise the transport.

It's nice to think at last a good home has been found for the furniture. I dare say we could have sold it, but nobody has shown much interest in it so far. The set has been a part of my life. It was in my parents' home as long as I can remember. I'm glad it's going to some use, to a good home where, by the sound of it, someone who will love it as it deserves.

When I told the Fox what I had done, he was equally pleased. And relieved at the thought of some space at last in the garage.

So in the afternoon we set off to the Pub.

Not long after we arrived, Cheryl & Paul came in. We haven't seen them for a while. It's difficult as they both work so they are generally not availble in the afternoon when we are in the Pub. Paul was telling us all about his camping trip in Broughton -in-Furness. Memories came pouring back.

The village square, Broughton

Broughton is a lovely village at the south end of the River Duddon. We found ourselves remembering the view from the roof of the High Cross Inn, up the Duddon. We recalled when the exhaust pipe of our car literally fell off & the nearest garage we could find was in Broughton. We found a small one-man, rather unprepossessing place. We were told to go away to come back later. When we did, we found the man had been unable to find a new exhaust pipe so he'd just made a bit to patch it up. That patch cost us about £5 & lasted us a further years.

The car getting a new section of exhaust pipe

Then there were memories of the time I ended up in stocks.

In the stocks many years ago

We also remembered when the Fox went to Broughton with the Pocket Theatre, a travelling theatre company that toured all over Cumbria. He helped to put up & take down the set. Afterwards they adjourned to a local pub. They were still there at 1am. This was in the days before de-regulation of pub hours. The Fox got worried about the police. He was told not to be so stupid. the local policeman was propping up the end of the bar!

After such memories. Cheryl offerred us some eggs laid by her hens. We accepted with pleasure. We were somewhat surprised when we discovered that two of the eggs were green-shelled. That's apparently natural for the breed of bird & taste delicious. I see the Fox had one before going to bed I wonder if he could taste any difference.

Time came to set off home. We loaded up PD to take him back. En route PD nervously asked us if we would like to spend Chrstmas Day with them. Lin's Dad will be there. In previous years they've half-asked us but left it until too late. By then we've arranged a holiday away or put the deposit on a meal out. This time they're getting in early. We've agreed. Hopefully it should be a good day.

After we dropped PD off things started going a bit aggly. First we noticed the car indicators seemed to be making a funny noise, as though there was an echo, a clunk rather than a tick. When we were safely home, we had a look. Sure enough the lights are not working properly.They flicker a couple of times then just stay fixed on.

First thing this morning I rang the garage. There's nothing they can do today but he will be around tomorrow to sort it out. I nervously asked whether it was safe to drive today. He reckons so. Just keep switching the switch on & off, thus causing the light to flash.

That's a relief. We had been hoping to go out today as it's our wedding anniversary. We'd been thinking of maybe a trip into Kendal, to look a the new K Shoe Village. I'm still in need of new sandals for the holiday. And the Fox would like to see how he would cope with a longer drive than usual. It's a while since Stoke in June. Since then I think we've stayed within a 10 mile radius of home. The airport will be consderably more than that, even if it is only Manchester we fly from. Admittedly it isn't the most inspiring weather in the world. Damp & grey. So we may just end up going out for a meal somewhere a bit special.

Then last night, it turned cold. The Fox tried to light the gas fire late in the night. Zilch. Nothing happened. Another thing that needs looking at. It's due for its service next month so I'm wondering whether we shouldn't get both jobs in one go.

The lottery

2011-08-28T12:11:00.000+01:00

Each week we play the Lottery. We sometimes wonder what we would do if we were to win millions.

Our first conclusion is that we're basically happy with our lives. We don't particularly want to move house. It's a nice size for us. We would be lost in a great mansion.

One thing about being on a low income for most of our lives is that it has caused to realise what is necessary for our sense of well-being & to realise that it doesn't come from material goods. I'm not denying it is nice to have beautiful things around you, to be able to travel abroad, to have new cars etc & it is a relief to be in a position not to have to worry every time a bill drops through the letter box or something breaks down. But ultimately there is only so much you want to eat & drink. Does a new car really matter, provided the existing one keeps going? No it doesn't.

We're also becoming aware no matter how much money we had what would really make things better cannot be bought. As we get older, & our health deteriorates, our energies reduce, we end up feeling even if we could afford to do somethings, we just aren't physically up to doing them.

As it is the Fox is anxious about how he is going to cope with the flight to Germany for our holiday next month. We're telling ourselves that, once there, we can just sit on the boat & watch the world go by. That shouldn't be too demanding. There's plenty to do at the various stopovers but it isn't essential to actually get off the boat to see it all. Our usual self-catering holiday isn't really on. The Fox is very anxious if he would be able to drive himself or even cope with a long drive by someone else. That won't change, no matter how much money we had. We can't buy good health.

We have been lucky in one thing in life & that is in love. We found each other long ago & that love has got us through everything, all the ups & downs of life. We celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary next week. That can't be bad.

Meanwhile I will get back to worrying who will be coming tomorrow to do the cleaning & when. Angie is still on holiday. I'm hoping it will be Kelly again but I'm not sure. Maybe that's something money could get us, guaranteed reliable staff to help look after us.