Splendour & gloom

As so often on a Monday, we toodle down to the Pub, picking up PD on the way. We go along the prom. As the Bay opens out before us, as we near the iconic Midland Hotel (an Art Deco gem) we both gasp. The sheer magnificence of the view beyond is breathtaking. The waters are so still like an ice-blue mill-pond. Beyond soar the thickly snow-capped Lakeland fells. The snow almost had a pinkish cast; the shadows of the contours a deep blue. Absolutely fabulous. As the road twists again, away from the Bay, the snow-clad Pennines dominate the horizon, continuing the beauty.

Before we left the pub, Brenda came in. Now retired, she used to work at another nearby pub with accommodation. She couldn't help relating how often some Americans staying there, would come & tell her they'd just been to see the lake. She had to tell them it wasn't a lake but a bay. It's just that the water was so still, with no signs of a current, let alone a wave, they'd assumed it must be a lake rather than sea. Yesterday was one such day.

This was the bright spark of the day. I have to admit I've been dragging myself around of late. Everything just seems to be taking that much longer to do. I feel under pressure, things to be done but I don't have the energy to do them. That's probably why I've not written the last couple of days.  

I've been trying to decide why this should be. It's partly I'm unhappy about my letter to the bank. I know they're offering far less than they ought to, but I'm not really in a position to force them to pay up more. I can't seem to focus my thoughts properly & there is a time schedule necessitating a quick decision. 

It's partly because I'm aware of the fact my benefits are up for renewal later this year & I'm half expecting the brick of a form to come through the letter box any day. Not only is the form intimidating to fill but, from press reports, it sounds as if the government has changed the rules once more, making it even harder to get the benefits which I am certain I deserve. I know I am not fit to work by any measure.

Maybe it's partly the number of grey damp days we've had of late.

Partly, too, I am tired. I've just finished taking the pills I have to take in the middle of the night. Admittedly it's not helped by the fact my nights have on occasion been disrupted by the odd stomach pain. 

Whatever the reason, I'm in no state to make any decisions or focus on anything very much, not even on where or when to go on holiday. What is worse, I'm aware I'm being unreasonable with the Fox. Everything he says just seems to put more pressure on but I know he doesn't mean that way. He's just making conversation. There's something amiss in my head. I suspect it comes down to fact I'm getting depressed again.

Formal letters

There's something about writing formal letters that I dread. It's not that I can't write them - our letters have been kept as models of how such a letter should be written - but I hate doing them. Informal letters I have no problem with. Then I sit down, imagine the potential reader and chat away to them - rather as I write my blog in fact. Formal letters are a different matter.

With these, I need a far higher level of concentration. It is more important to be absolutely clear as to what you are explaining, wanting. I almost feel a need to disassociate myself from them, to reveal no aspect of my personality, to exert a discipline which is unnatural to me, quite alien. At the same time, sometimes there is a need to hide somethings whilst give hints at others that may or may not be so, to indicate a higher level of knowledge, of understanding, than I sometimes feel I have. It's a kind of poker game in which you need to keep your own hand hidden to win, to achieve your purpose in writing the letter.  Each word has to take on a level of import far higher, nearer akin to the precision involved in writing poetry.

As I say I hate writing formal letters. We're in the midst of a dispute with a bank at the moment. You can tell I've just been drafting out a replying letter. For me it's an unwanted ordeal, which it will be a relief when it's over & I can once more retreat into my world of jigsaws (currently a Leonardo painting), friends, food & birds. On the other hand I'm not prepared to let the bank just walk right over us, for lack of effort on my part.

Food matters

It's Farmers' Market day today. We're hoping to get there, not that we need much this time. We still have plenty in the freezer & I seem to be having an urge for chicken, fish & veg, none of which are particularly well done at our market. Still I am hoping for some smoked salmon from the local smokehouse, some sausages from our usual source. I may even buy some lamb from there. Our usual salt march lamb man will not be there this month unfortunately. We do prefer that meat.

After that, on Farmers' Market day, we've taken to popping down to our local village pub & having a spot of lunch - a meal we don't usually indulge in but once in a while is a real pleasure, a bit of a treat. It will be just a snack.

This evening I'm planning on making some smoked salmon souffles. I don't often make souffles these days. I used to make them several times a week but they are a bit faffy & can't really be prepared in advance.

I may even use the new saucepans we bought yesterday. We finally decided new pans were needed. I'm quite happy with our old cast iron ones, but, since his stroke, the Fox is having difficulty with their weight, especially if they are full of food or hot liquids. His left hand remains weak & doesn't seem to be improving much. Besides the cast iron pans can't go in the dishwasher & now we use that device more it seems a pity not to be able to do the pans in it.

Yesterdays Thai green curry was fabulous, a real hit - hot & spicy, at the same time creamy. The Chilean torrontes wine we had was the perfect accompaniment. The one enhanced the other & vice versa.

Grey day

I'm half-expecting the phone to go any minute. The drain's blocked once more. The yard is becoming slippery as the greasy fluid escapes from the drain across the yard. We don't have to go out today so it's a good day to get it settled. I've even got a quiet morning as the Fox is dong the cooking today. He's making a Thai green chicken curry in Big Ears, the slow cooker. That means there's nothing for me to prepare, not even peeling some spuds to accompany the meal.

We went to the Pub yesterday. It wasn't the most cheerful of events. PD is still not comfortable with his eye. He's still getting headaches & spasms of pain in the eye. He's still not sleeping well which is making him very dopey. He is somewhat perturbed to discover that the corneas on both his eyes are loose - probably the result of his rugby days or the time he blacked out, landing flat on his face while on holiday in Crete.

On top of which Tony, the power station worker, came in. His wife left him for another man last year. He's still adjusting to that. It didn't help with it being yet another grey wet day. That gets everybody's spirits down. He was going on about his son, now in his late teens/early twenties. He still can't find a job. After school, the son went on to college, studying joinery. Now he's trained, the building trade has collapsed & no-one's taking on extra staff at the moment. He's beginning to give up. It seems so sad when a youngster can't get that first foot on the ladder.

The one bright spark is that the Pub manager has got engaged. They're not intending to marry for a couple of years, until after his fiancee has graduated. It always seems strange to me to have a long engagement. The whole point of getting engaged is to get yourselves organised for the wedding & life together afterwards. That doesn't take years. Or does it these days?

You may have guessed. Today's another one of those grey damp days that doesn't fill me with much cheer. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Birds

The day looks bright enough, but the wind is back. I''ve just been out to feed the birds. Yesterday we had our own roast turkey, a 6kg bird. It was stuffed with orange which gave it a difference of flavour. There is plenty of left over skin & not so nice looking bits, all off which are for the birds. In some way it is a pity it isn't the weekend of the great RSPB bird count. I suspect we will have plenty of avian visitors with such bounty to appeal to them. But that is next weekend. Once again I'm intending to spend an hour or so birdwatching & noting what I see. I quite enjoy dong it.

But first there's another week to go through. 

Not an auspicious year

January certainly seems to have brought its problems.

First of the casualties was Mrs B, the retired headmistress. She bent to blow out a candle. She thought she was going to start a nosebleed, to which she is rather prone. Fearing she would get blood all over the carpet, & knowing the current medical advice in the event of a nosebleed, she threw her head back. Unfortunately she did it so violently, she lost her balance, hit the back of her head on a table with the result there was even more blood all over the carpet. An ambulance had to rush out to take her to A&E. It was feared she'd broken her neck, but it's turned out she's just got very severe whiplash. For the last three weeks she's not been able to get out of her flat. She's only just got to the stage of being able to get to the door to open it if any one comes round. Fortunately she has a large family, living locally, with keys, who have been round every day, getting her up, feeding her, washing her, shopping for her, even picking up things she has dropped.

Then came the ambulance for our neighbour, Dave, which I have already written about.

Thursday evening, PD got an infection in his eye. He rubbed it & in the process scratched the cornea. They operated immediately, so it should recover fully. So yesterday, he went to the Pub, a patch over one very sore eye. He's back at the hospital on Monday to check it's doing well.

This morning I've been phoning the walking wounded to discover the reason why Fran & Den didn't arrive at the Pub was because Fran had passed out for a couple of hours earlier in the week. In the end Den had rung for the ambulance to take her into A&E comatose. She woke up, unaware what had happened. They suspect she'd had a stroke, but presumably more tests will be needed to make a clearer diagnosis. She, too, is home.

Suddenly my stomach gripes of this year seem minor. They still keep playing up occasionally but are becoming more & more apart & less severe. I'm still half-expecting to have to go & see the GP another time.

And that's not to mention the trip a dear old friend in Yorkshire had to make to A&E. Or my cousin Ann having to cope with the chemotherapy courses she's having to undergo to treat her cancer.

2012 does not seem to have brought much good health this year so far! Let's hope things improve as the year goes on!

Pre-Raphealite observations

I've finished both my Pre-Raphaelite jigsaws, both by Rossetti. 

I was struck by how white, almost alabaster-like his skin tones were.  Much as I appreciate redheads usually do have pale skin, this seemed too white. My own skin is paler than most redheads & blondes but not this white. Even allowing for the fact it was fashionable at the time for ladies, or aspiring to be ladies, of quality, to cover up, to avoid tans, this is unnaturally pale.

As for that hair, so red & golden. My step-brother once recalled my hair as being something like that colour when I was just a child. It was also very long, way below my waist. I think his description of the colour is a bit of an exaggeration. My memory of the colour was much browner, more the colour of a ripe horse chestnut. There was definitely a red gingery element, which in the right light did shine out, but generally it was the brown that was more noticeable. These days it's grey, rapidly becoming silver. It's been more that colour than anything else for the last 20 years if not longer.

The other things that struck me was the vividness of the red of lips & cheeks. Clearly lipstick & rouge of some sort must of been used if this is anything like an accurate representation of the model. I never really thick of make-up being used that much in Victorian times, except by harlots. But then, I suppose, when I think of Elizabeth I, she, too painted her lips & reddened her cheeks & that was long before the 19th century.

Hands, too, seemed very much a feature. They were very carefully drawn & yet the position of the fingers looked very unnatural, very demanding, quite painful, for a model to maintain for any length of time.

Other features which struck me included an urge to capture something of the texture & richness of  fabrics, the way the clothes fell. The backgrounds were also lavish, no plain colour wash here. Instead we have heavily patterned wallpapers, William Morris inspired, I suspect.

It's been interesting. I look forward to doing these jigsaws again to discover new depths & further insights.

Memories

What a difference a day can make. Today I once more was up in the gloom of 8.30am. Grey damp days have returned. I much prefer the icy chill of the bright winter's days we've had of late. You can wrap against the chill & the blue sky sends a song to my heart. I hope such days return again soon.


Readers of the Fox's blog will know of our trip out to Silverdale & its hotel. In the '90s it became a favourite watering hole for us. It was lovely to sit out in the garden on warm summer days, eating & drinking. That was particularly valuable then, as we had discovered the one big disadvantage of living in an upstair non-purpose built flat. Heat rises. Our kitchen was tiny, with only a very small window. It got rapidly hot in there even in winter with no heating in the flat except in our lounge. In summer it could become unbearble. Escape to the gardens of the Silverdale Hotel & its beer garden was a lifeline.


The hotel itself has had a few changes. One great improvement is that now there are foldable dividing doors between the lounge area & the conservatory. There used to be just a thick curtain which was never sufficient in winter to keep out the draughts from the unheated conservatory. Apart from that, seats have been re-covered but remain the same low chairs. It's recognisably the same place, even to having a designated non-smoking room - a bit obsolescent these days!


On the way there we passed by our old cottage at Crag Foot, our first home as newly weds. As we headed on to Silverdale you could see the twitchers were out, binoculars to eye. This area is part of, or adjoins, the RSPB Leighton Moss bird sanctuary, as did our cottage. We couldn't see at first what had attracted so much interest. Then we passed fields full of wild geese, great flocks. We didn't stop to identify them.


On the way back we returned over Warton Crag. I remembered one day when I'd had a letter to contact the Job Centre immediately. The Fox had the car. He was at college for the day. We had no telephone. I had no appropriate change for the public telephone so I set off to Warton in search of small change. In those days only two buses went along that way, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. The morning one had already gone pass. I set off. I walked the couple of miles to Warton. By then the shops in Warton had all closed for lunch. On I walked to Carnforth, where I eventually got some change. I made the phone call to discover it was a waste of time. Then of course I had the walk back. 

Those were the days. These days I couldn't even begin to think of doing that. I couldn't even get to the end of the road, let alone so many miles. Oh what it is to be young!

All straightened out

We did indeed get to the Pub. As predicted there was a colourful sunset. In some ways it wasn't as spectacular as those last week. The day itself wasn't as sharp, so the fells the other side of the bay had disappeared in a haze. As the day grew darker, inevitably this meant you didn't have the dark sharps of the fells standing out in the band between sands & heavens. The colours, too, were more muted but quite lovely nonetheless. The water had a more silvery blue tone. The tide was on its way in, so there was a fair amount of water to reflect the light. What really struck me was the band of colour. It had never occurred to me how a sunset could be like a rainbow, straightened from its arched shape, the colour bands broadened out. As the sky rose from the sands & water, it was red, then orange, yellow, green, blue,indigo. It never quite got to violet. By then it had disappeared into the blackness of the oncoming night sky. I've never really been so struck by the green band as I was yesterday.

Good news about Dave. It turned out not too serious. I was reassured when I saw him walking out of the house to the ambulance, rather than being wheeled out. I saw Fran, his wife, today. Apparently he'd had chest pains & then panicked, rather than taking a few slow deep breaths to calm down. She thinks the root cause was indigestion. She'd been out at work when the attack began, but she's reasonably confident this was the cause. Anyhow, he's staying in hospital at the moment for a few tests & observation, but he's out of pain now & she expects to be bringing him home later today. Hope so.

And meanwhile I get on with preparing our dinner. Yesterday's chicken & sweetcorn stew was a great success. The pinch of cayenne pepper the Fox added really lifted it from the mediocre. I just hope my sausage plait will be as successful. It should be as I'm using the pork & black pudding sausage meat used in our favourite sausages from our favourite stall at the Farmers' market. I'll get it all put together this morning. Then it can wait in the fridge until we get back from our food shop this afternoon. We're not doing much shopping, just a top-up, mainly tins of kippers, milk & potatoes.

Quiet day or not so quiet day

It looks set to be another quiet day. When I woke 2am-ish my stomach ached, but nowhere as bad as it has of late. I don't think it was of such severity to wake me, just for me to be aware of a bruising when I did wake anyhow. This being so I've not made a doctor's appointment.

The Fox has got out Big Ears, our slow cooker once more. On our trips to Lancaster we had a quick look at a stationery/bookshop. Apart from the two Rossetti jigsaws I've already mentioned we picked up a couple of slow-cook books. The Fox is eagerly trying out one of the new recipes, a chicken & sweetcorn stew. It certainly smells good. That will just have to be warmed up this evening.

PD has just rung. He's keen to go to the Pub this afternoon. I suspect we will probably go along. It's another brilliant blue skied frosty morning. I'm hoping, if it stays like this, we will have yet another fabulous sunset to see as we come back home. Here's hoping!

Oh no! Another ambulance with flashing lights has just drawn up at our neighbour's. Don't say Dave, our neighbour who was rushed into hospital not long before Christmas, has had another heart attack. His wife was only saying last week, he was feeling better than he has for months, if not years. Fingers crossed for him.

Some pictures

I'm not very inspired with fresh thoughts today. Maybe it's the fact I've just completed the week's ironing. It does tend to blank out thought in the process. Anyhow, I thought instead I would offer you a few pictures. I seem to have been going on about the fabulous sunsets we have in this area. We don't seem to have taken many pictures since we've moved to Morecambe, except that is our holiday snaps, so these are of an older vintage but they are taken around Morecambe Bay. I hope you enjoy them.

Arnside

Arnside

Silverdale

(I'm sorry about the big space at the top of this blog, but I don't seem to be able to get rid of it today. I'm having one of my computer glitch days!)

A three part tale

Today the thin patina of ice of yesterday has turned into a hard crust of silvery whiteness. It was a cold. night.

Well, they've finally got back the results of the tests. No signs of internal bleeding. No sign of food poisoning or the stomach bug that's been doing the rounds here. In fact no sign of anything abnormal. So I ask the receptionist, a particularly vacant young-sounding lass, what does that mean. Do I need to make a doctor's appointment? 


"Oh, I don't know" she vaguely replied. "Are you still having problems?"

I'm forced to admit I have felt a lot better the last couple of days. 


"The don't bother," she says. 

I'm left to wonder if I stop taking the muscle relaxants before the usual time the spasms strike, would the cramps return. So last night I didn't bother taking the pills to pre-empt the spasms, and, lo and behold, the cramps did return. As it's the weekend, I've decided to take the pills again tonight but not bother again on Sunday night and see what happens. If the pain returns I'll make the appointment. If not, I'll assume whatever the cause, it's something that's passed. 

I can't help thinking of Jean, who died last November, who constantly complained of stomach pains, being rushed into hospital with them, & yet it took them over a year to diagnose that she had cancer. This lack of not knowing the cause of my pains does not reassure me & I don't want to be in Jean's position.

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In the afternoon, after doing some shopping, we adjourned to the Pub. There was a good turn out. Most of the usual group were there. Come the evening, as we got in the car in the car park, you could see the wonderful colours of the sunset behind the trees. We set off down the slope towards the Bay, catching glimpses of the latter as we went. Having dropped PD off at his home, we decided to make our own way home along the prom. The view was fabulous. The land was a dark blue/grey. Above was a wide band of oranges & yellow, which reflected in the oh so still water in the Bay. The higher sky was a luminous ice blue.

As the road turned as a smaller bay appeared, the wet sands where the tide had receded, reflected the blue of the higher sky. The little puddles of still water reflected the oranges. Gorgeous. Everything so still - not a ripple on the water. Occasional dark blue/grey clouds drifted across the sky. Across the bay the occasional light twinkled in the houses of the villages of the Lakes, our very own land-based stars. Absolutely fabulous.

This area is famed for its sunsets and this was a stunner.

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In the evening, after dinner, we decide to open a bottle of wine to a bit of jazz, a bit of Billie & Ella. Beforehand we had made up a marinade for the chicken we're going to roast today for dinner. I'd rubbed the spices into the bird. Although I had washed my hands thoroughly, every time I brought the glass up to my mouth, my nose picked up the smells of the sweet spices, cinnamon & ginger, from my hands. The marinade also had some clementines & garlic in. I love the smell of cinnamon. We're very curious how the chicken will work out. We'll find out this evening.

Skies

As I remained so tired, despite an afternoon lie-down, & nothing would spoil, we decided to abandon the idea of the salmon & eat out for once. We just went down to our local village pub. As we went from the car, sharp cries could be heard from the woods behind. Looking that way, I couldn't help but notice the colour of the sky, gloriously streaked with purples, oranges, pinks. A plane flew overhead & even the vapour trail became a brilliant fuschia pink. Fabulous.

We seem to have had some wonderful skies lately. One night last week, we were struck by a huge, almost perfectly circular, silver disc in the sky - the moon, bigger than I think I've ever seen it in these northern parts. Within this disc, the greyness of the mountainous lunar terrain formed what almost looked like two eyes, a nose & a big smile. It was easy to understand how people came to believe there was a man in the moon.

But today we are back to brilliant blue. Everything is covered with a thin patina of frost. I'm half-contemplating that trip for the salmon but it just looks so cold. I'm not sure I fancy it, especially when I know we will have to go out later to day. The Fox's new glasses have arrived, so we will have to make a trip into Lancaster. He will be relieved to get them. He expects the others, with their temporary repair, to give up at any time & feels very restricted without them. 

Looking forward to a quiet day

For the first time in what seems ages, the sun is shining. Blue skies reign over us.

I'm intending to cook salmon for us today. A bit of me thinks it would be good to go out on the Mean Machine. I've not used it for ages. Another bit of me feels no. It will be cold & I am very very tired.

Last night I fell into bed at about 6.30 pm & didn't rise until 7.30 am. I took some sleeping pills. They well & truly knocked me out. I start on the pills I take in the middle of the night tonight so this was my last opportunity to take some sleeping pills & ensure a solid sleep. Even with the muscle relaxants I'm still waking most nights about 2am with stomach pains, not as severe but nonetheless sufficient to wake me & keep me awake for several hours. Though I will admit, yesterday, for the first time since Christmas, I did get through the daytime without a single ache. Maybe the problem is passing. I'm still waiting sample results to confirm what is the cause of the problem.

Surprise, surprise, my blood pressure was high. I've got another appointment for next month.

I think what really did it for me yesterday was the Big Food Shop. It never ceases to amaze me how sometimes you end up buying, for one week, either a few expensive items, or a lot of small cheap ones. This week was the latter variety. Full of fresh fruit & veg. The lad at the till reckoned he'd passed through the cheapest item he'd ever seen - fresh ginger 2p. Well, there's not a lot of point in buying more than you need. It never seems to keep that well.

Today should be a quiet day. Apart from going off to buy some fish, there's nothing else that has to be done. We're hoping by then to have heard from the opticians so may go into Lancaster. We'll see. Or we may just have a lazy afternoon of it.

Meanwhile I'm tackling some new jigsaws the Fox bought me - a couple of Rossetti paintings. I enjoy fine art jigsaws in that, while you are examining the pieces so carefully to join them up, you find yourself gaining a greater appreciation of the artist who produced the original artwork. You discover the looseness of Monet's flicks of paint, the searing pain of Van Gogh, the incredible skill in moving from skin tone to fabric with Leonardo. Sometimes I'm struck by the use of a particular colour can sometimes give a cohesion to a painting which otherwise would be lacking. I wonder what I will discover with Rossetti. 

Getting things done

It's off to the surgery again this afternoon. This time it's for my blood pressure. You may remember before Christmas it was rather high, so they we want to check it again. At least we've got past the stresses caused by the deaths & illness that beset us & our friends then. Some problems haven't entirely resolved themselves but the level of stress has reduced. The only real cause of anxiety at the moment is our own health, mine in particular. Hopefully my blood pressure should be more normal. The results of the tests from my GP visit last week are not expected until nearer the end of the week, then we should be closer to knowing the cause & hopefully some treatment which is more efficacious at easing some of my aches & pains.

Monday we ended rushing into Lancaster to sort out some glasses for the Fox. The arm had come off his reading pair & he ended up feeling unable to do anything, to cook, to read, anything. In Lancaster one of the opticians do a one-hour service so into Lancaster we went. Of course the person who makes new specs up was on holiday while it is so quiet in the post-Christmas period. They did manage to at least do a temporary job affixing a mismatch arm on. Hopefully that will last until the 2 new pairs he's ordered will be ready later in the week. He's decided on 2 pairs in the thought he shouldn't be stranded if one pair breaks. They surely can't both break at the same time! No harm in hoping. And, of course, it will mean another trip into Lancaster later this week.

Familiar territory

On Friday I finally decided the time had come to see the GP. My stomach problems seem to have been steadily worsening.

So I rang up for an appointment. Our surgery uses a push button system. Faced with the options of a routine doctor's appointment or an urgent appointment, I opted for routine. After all I'd had the problem for a fortnight already so I didn't think it was really an emergency. When I got through to a real person I was told the earliest appointment was next Tuesday. I asked if there was any chance of something earlier. She asked me what the problem was, consulted her protocol & instantly said she would transfer me to the emergency line.

This came as a bit of a shock. Even more so, when I spoke to the second receptionist & explained the problem a second time. She instantly organised me an appointment half an hour later. It was that urgent!


When I did see the doctor, his conclusion was that it had nothing to do with food poisoning or a stomach bug. Instead he is confident that I am suffering from internal bleeding as a reaction to some of my medication, & so becoming anaemic. Anti-inflammatory drugs are notorious for doing this, especially if you are on them for a long time. I've been on my present ones for 10 years or so. He's given me some anti-cramping pills to keep me going until he gets the results of tests. Meanwhile if I get any worse I am to get back to the surgery IMMEDIATELY.  

Oh dear, this sounds awfully familiar. I was in a similar situation in 2000 when my then doctor was reluctant to let me go away to attend a wedding unless I promised if I felt any worse I would instantly go off to the local hospital.

Let's hope it all gets settled soon.

Meanwhile yesterday we had a day out & ventured over to Arnside, where we used to live. This was partially as a longer drive for the Fox. It's some 19 miles away. It has reassured us both that the Fox should cope with a bit further a drive after a flight if we do go away on holiday.


It was surprising to see some of the changes since we left in 2000. There's now a wheelchair accessible fine art gallery where there was once a Victorian style bank. The shop I used to work in has now been extended into the next door shop. The Pub has been extended, making it wheelchair accessible & providing an extensive restaurant part. A few familiar faces came in, though they didn't seem to recognise us.


Arnside is a very pretty village even on a grey day. We questioned whether we regretted the move. It was a matter of necessity rather than desire. But no, we have no regrets. We feel so much more at home here, even though we lived in Arnside for over 20 years. The convenience of having shops & other facilities within just a few minutes drive is great. The views across the Bay here are almost as good as those as the Kent estuary empties out into the Bay at Arnside. No, we are happy & have no desire to move back.

Dilemmas

Now the banshees are visiting. No longer do we just have the sound of the wind battering on the house, the rain slashing on the windows, we also have the banshees whistling down the chimney. It just seems to be never stopping. We're grateful we went to the expense of re-roofing the house a couple of years back, otherwise we would be very worried indeed.

To escape, I'm looking at our holiday brochures & dreaming of warm sunny days, lands of blue skies. In particular we are hoping to go self-catering in France once more.

We've usually enjoyed this type of holiday. It's always a bit of a chore locating a wheelchair accessible property - some have turned out more successful than others - but now we have another consideration. How far will the Fox be able to drive after a flight? Since the stroke, the only long drive he has done, was to Stoke. The drive took it's toll, but then that was in June, not long after his stroke at the end of March, & he is doing a lot better now than then. Since that June trip the furthest he's driven is to Carnforth, approximately 10 miles away. That we know he can confidently do most days, but could he go further? Even as a passenger he did find the 80 mile taxi drive to Manchester airport when we went on  our Rhine cruise in the autumn exhausting. There's no point in finding the most wonderful gite if he isn't up to driving there. Once there we can just potter, but we need to find the right spot to stay. So, how far should we allow  between airport & gite? Anyone's guess.

Wild

My stomach still rumbles on. I keep thinking maybe I ought to see the doc. I just get ready to do so when either I'm feeling a bit better & feel it therefore would be a waste of time, or I'm up too late to ring the surgery for an appointment which has to be done before 9am. Normally 9am is fine for me. I'm rarely still in bed at that hour, but these stomach cramps have left me not getting off to sleep until after 4am so, not surprisingly, I'm not very prompt at waking up in the morning. Indeed yesterday I couldn't believe it when I noticed the clock to see it was already 11am & I was still eating breakfast! At least today is a better day. My tum's feeling more itself & I was feeling up earlier, ready to go.

So much for my health. I'm just grateful the Fox seems to be doing a lot better than I am.

Yesterday we did manage a venture out. It was wild. All morning, brief as it was, the wind had been howling so much I'd had to put the volume up on the radio to hear it above the noises from outside.

When we did venture out in the afternoon, we went along the prom. The wind continued to blow. Poor pedestrians were trying to walk, bent forward into the wind, trying to pull scarves & collars up, anything to protect their faces, & their eyes in particular. Great drifts of sand were blowing across the prom straight into their faces, with a force that really must have stung, if not positively hurt. In parts the sand was mid-calf deep. In other parts the gravel, placed on the shore as part of the sea defences had been forced right up virtually onto the pavement & road due to the sheer force of the tide. When we got to our destination sand was clearly visible covering the car. Coming back we went a more inland route. We avoided the sand but not the wind. As we sat at the road junction waiting for the traffic to clear so we could turn, you could feel our heavy car bouncing around.

The wind still blows today. Not as bad but still blowing. I wonder what damage has been done. Clearly part of the trellis dividing the patio area & the lawn area of our garden is coming down. The birds will have to find another perch. But what else? I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't find yet more fences needing to be renewed but until these winds abate there seems little point in looking too carefully. Instead we just keep our fingers crossed, hope for the best, & stay snug inside, in the warmth.

Catching up

Readers of the Fox's blog will realise why I have been silent so long. Our ill-health continues. Yesterday was one of the worst for me but come about 8pm I picked up & managed to eat a bit & see the new year in with a glass of wine. I'm relieved to say so far I'm doing much better today, managing to eat & drink fairly normally so far. I'm even hoping to get the household chores done this afternoon.

I weighed myself today, the first time since Christmas, & discovered this has clearly been one of the few Christmas periods I've even managed to lose weight. That doesn't happen often. Usually I dread looking at the scales after such a period of self-indulgence.  Mind you I've not done as bad as my cousin Ann who has lost over over a stone due to the effects of the chemotherapy she's presently having for cancer. She sounds reasonably cheerful despite that & has found the treatment not as bad as she feared. We just have to wait & see if it has been effective. We won't know that for a few moths.

Meanwhile a great thump resounded around the house the other day as a pile of unrequested holiday brochures arrived in the post. I've been flipping through the pages in my more lucid moments. I feel we could do with a holiday - a bit of sunshine & relaxation, above all a bit of better health.

Anyhow to get back to what the theme of this blog was going to be. Accept my belated apologies for not getting around to it earlier in the week, but

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY READERS

MAY YOU ALL HAVE BETTER HEALTH THAN WE HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING IN 2011

MAY 2012 BRING YOU ALL PEACE & A RENEWED WONDER IN THE WORLD