Wednesday 29 September 2010

Strange morning

It's another of those strange mornings when I have nothing specific to do. Usually the preparation of food is a central feature of the morning but today the Fox is cooking. He's doing a beef in black bean sauce stir fry dish. The only preparation I can do is to get the meat out of the freezer, along with some cheese to have for dessert, & to find a bottle of red wine to accompany the meal. The rest, of necessity, will be done by the Fox this evening.

We decided to do this stir fry today as tomorrow we're off to Ricky's Cantonese restaurant . I suspect our stir fry effort will seem very poor if we made it soon after that meal. We are just using a ready made jar of sauce. This way we should still enjoy the Fox's effort.

This means, of course, that tomorrow will also be another strange morning with nothing specific to do.

If the weather was better I would strip the apple & pear trees of their fruit. The Pub always appreciates them. We'll keep some, of course, for our own usage but we would never manage to eat the lot. Someone might as well have the advantage of them. But today is wet, wet, wet, & the forecast seems to be more of the same. Even when the rain stops it will take a few days for the lawn to dry out sufficiently for us to cross it without squelching our way as we go. It will definitely be a welly boots time.

Meanwhile there's nothing to do but to visit Monet's waterlily pond with my jigsaw. Or maybe I will continue on my way down the Mississippi with Huck Finn, my current reading. Either way I'm telling myself it will do me good to have a bit more of a relax. I seem to have been overdoing things a bit of late.

Tuesday 28 September 2010

To grow or not to grow

Today we're having the last of the Fox's potatoes. They have been excellent, full of flavour. We're also having some of his tomatoes, fried, to accompany the Cumberland & black pudding sausages we bought at last week's Farmers' Market. It should be a real treat.

I do hope the Fox decides to have another go next year. The resultant vegetables have been so much tastier than those from the supermarket. There is one disadvantage though. They do need a lot of attention, which makes it difficult to go away on holiday for long during the summer months.

He grew them in pots & bags near the house, so they were easy to get to without having to cross our usual extra lakes on the lawn which appear whenever it rains. However, that does mean frequent watering. Our back garden is accessible from the street through a gate in the wall or through the house. Whenever we go away, indeed at all times, that gate is well bolted & the front door locked. We don't like to encourage burglars - you can tell we were brought up in the city. It follows, therefore, even if we could find friends or neighbours kind enough to pop round regularly to check them, they couldn't get in to get to the plants. It's a bit of a conundrum.

This year we have no regrets. The veg were good. The summer shone warmly so we happily spent it here. We had a good holiday in the south of France before the real growing season began so have not felt any itch to get away for any great length of time.

All in all it's been a good summer.

Monday 27 September 2010

An off day

Yesterday was definitely an off day for me. It did pick up but only a bit.

It started when I decided the time had come to go to church. I went to get my Mean Machine, my electric scooter out. I found it was impossible. We had taken in our table & chairs from the garden for the winter & now they blocked the way. I cleared some of the surface of the table, thinking I could put the chairs on the table. I lift the chairs. There's an almighty explosion, a big bang, glass & a white dust everywhere. I've just lifted the chairs straight into the fluorescent light tube, shattering it. I have to stop to do a bit of sweeping up as I don't want punctured tyres.

So it is I leave a bit late, but still plenty of time before the service begins. I approach the church. What's this? A great crowd outside. I soon realise cameras are out. Photos are being taken of the Rose Queen & her entourage. Is it Harvest Thanksgiving this week?

I ask someone if my side door is open. I am assured it is. I make my way around to the door to find the outer door is open, but not the inner. I have to bellow to be let in.

Inside I collect my books & make my way to my usual place. My usual companion so far at the front of church is there & starts chatting to me. I just want a few minutes peace to compose myself ready for the service. Eventually she gets the hint, but by this time the church is a-buzz with activity. People bustling around. Extra banners are going to be taken up. The Rose Queen joins the choir for the procession at the start of the service. Parents & siblings chatter & run around. Absolute mayhem. I desperately seek peace & God, & all I find is noise.

The new vicar, Linda, makes the announcements. The service is to begin. She calls for a few minutes silence first. Is this my moment for peace? The moment Linda returns to the vestry, the Babel begins again.

So the service finally starts. I'm still desperately trying to find some inner peace to appreciate the service. It seems it's the service for the Crowning of the new Rose Queen. For Linda, this is a first. I think she is as bemused as I am by the role. However, she's still too new here to feel she can suggest abolishing the role when this is to be our 60th Rose Queen. All the children are beautifully attired & well behaved.

But I'm still seeking communion with God, not all this noise. During the second hymn I suddenly realise tears are rolling down my face. I would leave but feel too conspicuous to go. The Mean Machine beeps as it goes in reverse & I would have to back out of my space & then do a 3 point turn before I could get out. Then I would have to find someone once more to open the inner doors. Once I'm in they always re-bolt the doors to reduce draughts.

So I stay, not really feeling able to partake of the service. I realise I must be depressed. I do not usually cry inappropriately like this. Fortunately the light from a high window is shining so brightly into my face that others assume it's just the light disturbing me. The reality is that I feel as though I should never have come. I do not feel any sense of God's presence. People are enjoying themselves & I don't want to spoil that, but I had come for worship, for prayer, for inner peace. Instead I felt an outsider, alienated from everyone else there & from God. If I had known it was such a service, the mood I was in I would never have gone. But these days my September issue of the Parish magazine doesn't arrive until October. As for the website it shows no special services this week & the last parish magazine on the site is dated April 2010, hardly up to date. I hadn't made it to church last week so I had no warning of the special Rose Queen Crowning service. I hope some of this might change once Linda is settled into her new role.

I did contemplate staying for a few minutes after the service & everyone had gone. Maybe this would be my chance for peace. But no, this would be the one Sunday when there were two baptism services immediately after matins.

So I hastily left the church as soon as I could get through the crowd at the end of the service. I did contemplate coming back along the prom, maybe stop a bit & look out across the Bay. Perhaps that way I would have chance for inner peace. I decide against it, partly because I know the Fox would be worried if I didn't get back at usual time, partly because the way things were going I half feared there would be hordes on the prom too.

Normally I would have coped fine. Normally I go to church at least half an hour before so that I am among the first to arrive. That means I have chance for private prayer, to re-discover God, to find some inner peace before any bedlam arrives. This Sunday I arrived just 10 minutes before the service, & a busy popular service it turned out to be.

When I got home I had an hour or so lie down in the Fox's arms before tackling the chores. That hour or so enabled me to calm down, & find some peace, ready for the next challenge. The Fox hastily got down to Focus & bought a new tube. We then struggled to work out how to fit it. In the end I went to ask our neighbour if he had any idea. Andy is a builder, quite capable of doing all minor general jobs, even bigger ones - he's just put up a fully insulated log cabin in their garden. Even he, though, was beaten for a while. Eventually he worked it out & we once more had light in the garage. I, by this time, was on my second lot of extra painkillers. I was glad to have dinner & an early night.

So far, today seems to be going better. The lamb curry I've just made smells, & tastes, delicious. Something to look forward to this evening.

Friday 24 September 2010

A busy week ahead

Friday once again. It's the last day of the carers' course for the Fox & afternoon with a carer for me. On the whole we both feel it's a bit of a relief. It's amazing how tying it feels to have one day fixed for a particular activity. These days we tend to take things gentle, deciding on the day what we, or often more specifically I, feel up to doing.

Today we really could do with going shopping. We're nearly out of milk. I would do a big shop while we're at it, but with the other activities it's dubious if that will get done.

Meanwhile next week is already looking as though it's going to be busy, certainly by the end of the week.

On Thursday we've been invited to PD's wife's 60th birthday celebratory meal at Ricky's, our favourite Cantonese restaurant. After my rather grotty day yesterday, which ended with me in bed by 9.15pm, exhausted & in severe pain, the Fox is beginning to wonder if we shouldn't have said no. I feel off days happen & there's no reason to suspect it will happen again next Thursday,especially if I take the rest of the day very quietly. Admittedly the meal is later than we usually have - the table's booked for 7pm - but PD & his wife will need time to get changed after disposing of the grandchildren they look after on Thursday.

Friday we've agreed to go to the Pub. Mr P, the music teacher, wants us to meet, & help entertain, a visiting German teacher he's looking after for a couple of days.

Saturday sees the Fox off for his flu jab. Mr P is also trying to get us to a concert that evening. The German teacher has brought his school orchestra with him & they will be performing that night. Mr P wants there to be a good turn out. We're in two minds. The idea of a very amateur performance of Elgar doesn't have much appeal. But to support a friend....

A busy week indeed. Just as well the Fox hasn't also got his course.

Wednesday 22 September 2010

A bit of banter

I'm using the ham in a different way today. This time I've spread some soft garlic & herb cheese on, rolled it up & inserted the rolls into pockets in a couple of chicken breasts. All has been breadcrumbed ready to fry up this evening. As I say, something a bit different.

I bought the chicken yesterday at a nearby butcher. When I arrived, Alan, the butcher, duly asked "What would you like young lady?"

My reaction was to comment, "It's a long time since I was called young." The big exception is undoubtedly the Fox who always tells me I'm nowt but a spring chicken, but I didn't bother to tell Alan that.

"Ah, but don't you feel like 20 inside?" Alan is in his sixties, so he has some experience of growing older.

I thought a bit. "No, on the whole I feel older than that, sometimes I even feel ancient."

"Wouldn't you want to be just 20 again?"

I was forced to admit I wouldn't. All that uncertainty as you find your way in life, build up important relationships.

"But think of the adventure," he commented.

"But I'd sooner have my adventure with a basis of security," I retorted.

We agreed to differ & I went on my way.

It's always good to have a bit of cheery banter. And there's no denying it, on the whole Alan's right. You don't feel inside the age you actually are. Most of the time I do feel younger, it's just that some of the time my aches make me feel old, very old. On the whole, though, I do feel more content & happier than when I was younger, certainly than when I was 20. I suppose inside, most of the time, I feel in the 30-40 age bracket. What about you?

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Mud bath time

I'm back to making an old favourite for dinner - ham & egg flan. It's one of the few Mrs Beeton recipes I really treasure. At one time we used to have it at least once a week, but now it must be several years since we last had it.

We're back to using up from the freezer. Today it's 2oz of ham. This classic recipe instantly popped into my mind. I thought I'd try cooking some of the Fox's tomatoes to accompany it, rather than our usual baked beans. We're certainly having his potatoes sauteed up with it.

Yesterday the tree surgeon came to trim some of our trees. His assistant hastily asked if we wanted the plums/damsons. I happily let her have them. Now it looks as though there's more light in the garden, and once more the walk to the far end of the garden doesn't involve fighting through the conifers.

I would say it was a definite improvement only the lawn looks as though it's well & truly mauled. After all the rain lately, especially on Sunday, it was well sodden. By the time they'd gone across it to reach the trees, erected ladders, dragged bags & whole branches down to the chipper in our drive, just a mud bath remains with a good muddy streak across the patio to complete the picture. Still I dare say the lawn will recover & the patio will get washed down next time it rains. We've warned Al, our gardener, there's no point in coming until the grass has had time to recover a bit. That may well be next year now. But once it has I'm sure we will appreciate all that trimming & next year it should be looking so much better.

Sunday 19 September 2010

What a differrence!

The temperature has definitely dropped today. I've felt half-tempted to put the heating on all morning. To be honest the drop began yesterday.

We ended up having dinner early to stoke up the inner boiler. The fact it turn into Mexican burritos - nice & spicy - certainly helped. After getting changed I sat with my legs up on the settee. My feet quickly disappeared under a cushion for extra warmth. When the chill began to bite a hot cup of tea magically appeared thanks to the Fox.

Today, as I say, seems even colder. It just seems too early to be putting the heating on. It's only September! And to think only on Friday I sat outside in the garden with my carer - the Fox was at his course - feeling the warmth of the sun on my face! What a difference a couple of days can make. Now I'm thinking it's time to put summer clothes away & go into winter mode with extra layers. I can always take off if I get too warm. It's may be just as well we've got the new boiler & the Fox is now 60 so should receive winter fuel allowance this winter, assuming it still exists.

It's also definitely rapidly becoming time to change the clocks. The mornings are getting very dark, especially on a wet overcast day like today. The evenings have been darker for some time.

Friday 17 September 2010

Change of plans?

It almost comes as a shock to discover this morning a blue sky, no wind or rain. Al, our gardener, came round yesterday. As he arrived, the skies opened once more. The rained poured down. Needless to say he didn't stop, didn't so much as get out of his vehicle. We only knew he had been when he told us at the Pub later in the afternoon.

We ourselves had a quick pop to Morrisons before going to the Pub, to find the gale blowing with full force in the car park. The car door was almost whipped out of my hand. It was quite an achievement to get out of the car into my wheelchair with my Blue Badge parking card still visible on the dashboard.

I see one of our neighbours seems to have broken his leg. He's going around on crutches with a pot on his leg. I find myself wondering if his Norton motor bike has finally won. He's only a very slight man. His bike is so big & heavy. When he wheels it out into the road, it almost pulls him over. If it does get blown over, he's hard push to lift it up again without assistance. He's still got his L plates on, but, oh dear, I think the bike's mastering him rather than the other way around.

As for us, life is going quietly by. I was surprised yesterday. Yet another holiday brochure came through the post. The Fox idly flicked through it. Suddenly he says "That's looks nice". He doesn't usually so much as flick through the brochures unless he's positively feeling the itch to get away. And where was this? Kerala, India.

Much as we had decided not to book anything more this year, the grey, damp & increasing chill is making us begin to wonder if there isn't going to be a change of plan. The one thing we still remain resolved on is that, once this carers' course is finished, we're hoping to get away to see our friends in Harrogate for a couple of days. That is assuming they still fancy seeing us.

Wednesday 15 September 2010

A change


The Sorrento coast of Italy

I've hastily been making some salmon fishcakes for dinner tonight. We're expecting a call & visit sometime today from someone coming to check the installation of the new boiler. For a change I've used smoked salmon scraps instead of fresh or tinned salmon. It should give it something a little different.

Meanwhile the banshees have returned. A gale is blowing outside. It screeches around the house. This is a disadvantage of living near the seaside. There has been little to break the force of the wind as it has gathered while crossing the Irish Sea.

And today is bin day. I do wish the bin men would realise there is a reason why everyone has put weights on top of the boxes. They've been to collect one lot of boxes & now box lids are blowing up the street because the bin men haven't thought to put the weights back on.

I've hastily retrieved that one box & its lid, & taken it back to its normal place, once more secured with a weight. A second lid had appeared, where from is anyone's guess. To make matters worse they didn't even bother putting the weight on the second box so that lid, & all the paper & cardboard therein, was also flying about. Instead they put the weight on the front garden wall where it achieved nothing , not even being particularly ornamental. Needless to say the lid & weight went back on.

The Fox usually puts the bin & boxes out the night before as sometimes the bin men come very early, long before eight o'clock. He was not best pleased when the banshees got started last night. The rain hammered at the windows in accompaniment. In the midst of this din, we heard the sound of metal flying (our weight is an odd piece of metal piping). He hastily got a coat & ventured out to catch box lid, by now glued halfway up the garage door by the strong winds. He replaced the weight. He was only out for a couple of minutes but he came back in drenched. So wet indeed he had to go and change his shirt & trousers. The rest of the evening we anxiously listened out for a further clank. fortunately none came.

What a contrast with that picture of Italy at the start of the blog, taken last September! It looks positively idyllic.


Tuesday 14 September 2010

Getting ready

Oh dear, I've just boiled a caterpillar. I don't know where it was hiding. The potatoes I'd scrubbed well so I can't see how I missed it if it was on those. I can only assume it was hiding on the mint I boiled with the potatoes. I'll have to look more carefully next time.

I listened to the news yesterday. I'm now mentally preparing myself for a winter of strikes. Part of the problem is that there doesn't seem to be a very organised opposition to anything the government proposes at the moment. The Labour Party is just too immersed in it's leadership election to take on the Coalition Government. Someone has to
stand up for the workers, especially if they are
low paid, & for disabled people & pensioners, who maybe can't fight for themselves. It seems the Trade Unions have decided to step into the breach on their behalf.

I find myself wondering how many people can cope with the difficulties brought from strikes. It's so long since we had strikes to any great degree. Many have never experienced their impact. It isn't just the inconvenience of trains not working, it's all the other problems that can occur - lack of electricity, food shortages of one sort or another, even greater hardship for those on strike - that affect everyone. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Meanwhile I'm beginning to wonder if my mother wasn't right. Maybe I should stock up for war, get a pile of tea & sugar in ready.

Monday 13 September 2010

Hopeful

I've discovered the disadvantage of grow your own. Today, for dinner, we're having stuffed peppers, some green, some yellow, with baked Black Russian tomatoes & sauteed new potatoes. Both the latter are from the garden, grown by the Fox. I'd like to par-boil the potatoes but it is throwing it down. I don't really want to get soaked in the process. The Fox has lifted some but they remain in a pot, loose under a thin covering of soil. However, it isn't just raining, it's throwing it down. Great sheets have been coming down all morning so far. I'm hoping by the time I switch the computer off it will have eased. I don't really want to get that wet just for a few potatoes.

I did manage to get to church yesterday. The new vicar is certainly promising. She's really dynamic, determined that the other 6900 members of the parish not in church yesterday, should be attracted into it. She wants it to be a place of joy & fun. She clearly envisages a lot more social events & for people to get to talk to one another. She emphasised the importance of the greeters who hand out the service books. Their warm welcome makes such a difference to a stranger when they first come.

It also seems she's a bit of a Star Trek fan. We've all been given bookmarks as she encourages us to follow the motto of "to boldly go" on our journey of faith.

It looks as though our church is set to be revitalised. All looks hopeful.

Sunday 12 September 2010

Remembrance

I'm hoping to get to church today, but I'm not very optimistic. It has clearly rained overnight. Puddles are everywhere. Although it is warmer today & the skies were blue when I got up, it is already turning greyer.

Part of the reason why I particularly hoped to get there today is the fact that Linda, our new priest-in-charge, has taken over. This will be her first Sunday of services. I'd like to meet her & welcome her to our parish. However, I dare say she will still be there another week.

I had also hoped to get to church because I've not managed to go the last few weeks. Still I have been listening to service on BBC Radio4 this morning.

The focus of that service was the sacrifice made by so few for the sake of so many in the Battle of Britain. I suppose it isn't surprising when the service came from the Chapel of Remembrance at Biggin Hill & the congregation was mainly RAF members. I can't help wondering if this is the sign of things to come. Are we going to be remembering the 70th anniversary of various events in the Second World War for the next five years?

Much as I think there is a point of remembering - maybe then we will avoid the atrocity of a further such war - it can get a bit unrelenting. And a bit arbitrary. Who says which events should be remembered? Are those killed in lesser actions not worthy of being remembered? Are the sacrifices of men killed & maimed in the Korean War, the Falklands War, the Iraq War etc less to be valued?

And so far, there isn't much evidence that the remembrance has helped the world to avoid war. Still most days there is fighting somewhere in the world. We've just avoided making a single war spread onto a world scale. Though, even that is not entirely true. How many nations have sent men, & women, to fight in conflicts such as Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan? Maybe it is only recognised as a world war if it takes place
in Europe.

Saturday 11 September 2010

A quiet life

It looks like we're in for another day of rain. Still it's the weekend so there's nothing we have to do. Beyond, that is, the usual chores, the weekend clean & cook some meals.

Today we're having a piece of topside, something I've not bought for years. It's going to be pot roasted for an hour & a half so it should be moist, tender & flavoursome. It will certainly be a change.

I'm not sure it's going to beat the Fox's tomatoes though. Having had some Black Russians as a veg on Wednesday, today he decided to add a Moneymaker to his breakfast scrambled eggs. He's been enthusing ever since.

Apart from that I'm thinking Harrogate & looking at the various hotels. We're thinking it's time we tried a different hotel this time so I'm having a look on-line at them. We're hoping to have a couple of days over there next month, when the Fox's course is completed & before the winter sets in. It will be good to see old friends again.

Apart from that life goes on quietly, the way I wish it did more often.

Friday 10 September 2010

A long shop

We seem to be back to the world of rain today. Yesterday was gloriously sunny. We went to do our big shop.

It's surprising how tiring & time-consuming such things can be. Our first stop was the surgery to collect our prescriptions. The second was the chemist to hand in those prescriptions. After that it was to the motor parts shops. We needed a new foot pump. The Mean Machine, my electric scooter, is getting rather flat tyres. It's not the easiest thing to put in the boot of the car to take it to a garage to get air there. Belatedly, it occurred to me I could have tried the petrol station just around the corner. The Fox would have come with me as I couldn't cope with the filling by myself & the only staff there seems to be the lone girl behind the till. It's just I never think of there as we don't often buy petrol there. It's just so much cheaper at the supermarket.

After that it was the supermarket. It was heaving. It was even difficult to park. It was market day. The market is just across the road. Unfortunately you have to pay for the car park adjoining the market whereas the first hour of parking at the supermarket is free - with the result all locals park in the supermarket car park unless they have blue badges which mean they can park free across the way.

We came out, trolley well laden. We had spent surprisingly little this time. I'm often left wondering how sometimes you can buy just a few items & it costs more than a huge of load of things.

On the way back we stopped to collect our medication at the chemist. All this had taken best part of 2 hours. It may even have been a bit longer. Still we're once more stocked up.

Today I'm still putting away. The minced beef was on offer so I ended up buying enough for several days. That's now in small bags in the freezer. There was also an offer on German meats, so there are now some bags of German smoked ham (it looks, & smells delicious) also in the freezer. The German pepperami is still in the fridge. It is well dated, end of October, so I thought I'd wait until the freezer was a bit emptier before I opened the packet & put what I didn't immediately want in the freezer, especially as the freezer is groaning at the seams. I've done the same with the cooking bacon. I'll be opening that tomorrow but by then I'll have taken out some broccoli for today's dinner & the topside of beef joint that I got at the last Farmers' Market that we will be eating tomorrow. Then there will be plenty of space for the extra bacon.

And so today the Fox is cooking. He's doing a vegetarian stir fry - mushrooms & broccoli in black bean sauce with Chinese egg noodles. He always likes the chance to get out his beloved wok. We've got a whole mix of mushrooms - oyster, shiitake, chestnut & some ordinary ones. I'm really rather looking forward to it.

But first it's my afternoon with the carer while the Fox does his course.

Thursday 9 September 2010

Further memories

Yesterday while we were at the Pub we were joined by a couple who lived in the same part of Manchester that I grew up in. We reminisced & mentioned shops etc that had changed over the years. They had moved there in the 1960s & were surprised to find someone here who remembered it in those days.

Memories were further prompted by watching " Words of the Blitz" on ITV1 last night.

We were both born in the 1950s. Our earliest memories involved the sight of the rubble of bomb-damaged buildings. I remember going into Manchester (we lived on the outer edge of the city, then a fairly rural area) on the bus. We passed vast areas of rubble. Throughout the 50s & 60s there was a huge clearing & re-building programme. Even when I left home in 1972 for university there were still areas where the rubble had been cleared but which remained a wasteland.

Considering all this, it's hardly surprising so much of our cities today are modern. Indeed it's more surprising so many old buildings have survived. And this applies throughout Europe.

It also made me realise how long the after a war the effects of war last. Earlier, in the summer, an unexploded bomb from the World War Two was found just outside a school playground here in Morecambe. Presumably it was dropped on the way to or from bombing the docks at Barrow, the other side of the Bay. And this is 70 years after the blitz.

I can't help wondering when countries such as Korea,Vietnam, Afghanistan, large chunks of Africa, will once more be really safe. Even if the wars have finished, the bombs & mines remain for some unsuspecting person, or child, to come across, setting them off, & so to be killed or maimed, possibly for life.

War is a terrible thing. In my mind it should never be indulged in lightly. I can justify the defensive need to have fought in the last World War or, for that matter, in the Falklands, but it should always be the last resort & as a defensive measure. No matter how New York or London were bombed, I still cannot see the justification for the use of fighting in Iraq & Afghanistan. Words should have been the first weapon, not the gun.

Wednesday 8 September 2010

War memories

As I've been preparing the chicken pie for dinner tonight, I've had BBC Radio 4 on. Like so many programmes this week, it was about the blitz. On the whole I've been pleased to hear about the effects of the bombings on cities other than London, which I feel has been well covered in numerous programmes & films since the war.

Today, in "The Blitz", I heard for the first time that this was not the first time that this country had been bombed from the air. That was during the First World War.

I couldn't help remembering my mother. She was born in 1910 & so recalled that earlier war. She told me about the airships coming over Coventry & bombing. She was taught to hide under her school desk if the siren went. I've never since heard confirmation until now, that there even was bombing from airships during the First World War, though I never doubted her story.

Her other big memory of the First War was knitting endless pairs of socks for the troops. Obviously she remembered people, especially family, killed then. She also lived with the consequences of having her Uncle Bill live them. He'd lost a leg in the trenches & been badly gassed. He needed looking after for the rest of his life.

Maybe the experience of surviving two world wars, & two wars in which she experienced the bombing in Coventry is why she was always expecting another war to come soon. She always kept a vast supply of sugar & tea in the house - essentials if you're going to survive rationing as far as she was concerned.

I can't help thinking how lucky our generation has been. Yes, there has been wars, but nothing on the same scale. Nothing involving serious bombing in this country or forced enlistment of men & women into the armed services. We personally have not had to fight, or just survive such hardships. A lucky generation as I say.

Sunday 5 September 2010

Christmas thoughts

As we sit, drinking a bottle of wine, listening to music by Michel Legrand (we like a bit of French!), out thoughts turn to the question of Christmas.

We haven't really found a totally successful formula since I had to abandon the great cook effort. The Fox had a try one year but he found it all a bit much.

Since then we've tried a few options. A couple of times we tried going away, once to Lanzarote & once to St Lucia. Neither were entirely successful. In Lanzarote we managed to get food poisoning. We still shudder at the memory of that trip.

St Lucia was more successful, but it just didn't seem like Christmas. Santa did arrive on his water skis, but that was about the only thing festive about it. The food wasn't particularly good, & we felt we missed out on so much of the festive spirit at home, the wishing our friends well on Christmas Eve, the putting up the Christmas tree, the carol service. The airports heaved. The flights were full so we ended up in economy class which became very uncomfortable for such a long journey.

A break in this country, perhaps, where things would be done in a traditional way we knew? The prices just seem so astronomical for just a few days. For the price of 3-4 nights here full board, you can go abroad for a week all inclusive. And there's no denying drinks do add up, especially at such a festive time. What is more, there's the crowded roads/trains to contend with to get there.

The last couple of years we've been out for Christmas lunch at a local hostelry, in both cases joined by friends. In some ways this has proved the most satisfactory. We are at home for all the local celebrations. We eat English traditional fare. We have good company. We get out of the house for part of the day.

With this is mind, we're thinking it's time we made a few enquiries - see who's around to maybe join us, see what's on the menu at various places, discover where still has spaces. Last year our village pub, which in many ways appeals to us immensely, was fully booked from the Christmas Day the year before!

There is also a niggling memory that, last year, PD & his wife wanted us to join them for the meal but, by then, we had already booked for a meal with Fran & Den. Are we going to be invited again?

Definitely time to put a few feelers out, to sort out what we're doing.

Saturday 4 September 2010

Busy September Friday afternoons

I'm once more in mid-meal preparation. Today it will be a chicken & vegetable pie. The filling is all made & cooling down. The homemade shortcrust pastry is still rock hard from the freezer, but I'm sure it will soon thaw in our warm sun-drenched kitchen. Once it has, I'll put the pie together, ready to cook this evening.

Yesterday turned out to be a more stimulating day than anticipated. The course turned out to be far more constructive than usual. The Fox felt he'd come back having learnt something new. If anything they were short of time, having more than enough material to get through in the 3 hours. He's even quite looking forward to next week which will be all about various agencies, charities, websites etc that may be of help to him in his caring role.

Meanwhile I had a pleasant sit out in the sun in our garden. My carer relaxed more. I took out some holiday brochures that had come unasked for through the post. This prompted dreams & reminiscences in both of us. At last we seem to have found a bit of common ground other than ill-health & family problems. It's so much better to be able to talk of hopes, of dreams, of good times, &, what is more, to be able to talk about it with enthusiasm.

And I do like a bit of enthusiasm. I can gain an interest in almost any subject matter if there is a bit of enthusiasm, especially if it's seasoned with a bit of intelligence.

So it looks like Fridays are going to continue being busy for September.

Friday 3 September 2010

The course

I'm in the midst of making some meatballs for dinner. Unfortunately I forgot to ask the Fox to get the minced lamb out of the freezer last night with the result it is only just softening now. Still, if I've not got them ready before, I can always get them done this afternoon. I've got to do something with my carer while the Fox does his course. Maybe she would appreciate a change from the norm & help make meatballs. It might constitute quite an adventure for her. She doesn't strike me as a person of wide interests, hardly any apart from her family.

The Fox is a bit undecided about his course. He is threatening to abandon it. The real problems seem to be a) 3 hour sessions are too long, & b) all the other carers seem to be coping with people with dementia & therefore have different needs. Today is supposed to be a more practical session dealing with such matters as lifting. One of the Fox's great worries is how to get me off the floor if I fall. He can't just get me on my knees as that is just too painful for me. He's hoping for a solution.

If this week is another disappointment he's contemplating abandoning the whole thing. It would liberate us to contemplate that weekend away before the winter sets in & the weather turns bad.

One thing the course does seem to have done is to make him realise for the first time that caring is more than just an extension of his husbandly role & his loving. He's also come to appreciate that compared to many people we are very lucky. We have always spent a lot of time together, sharing interests, preferring each other's company to other people's. I am still in a state to show my appreciation of his efforts & give him some feedback. I can still cooperate when he tries to lift me, rather than fight him or just be a dead weight. We can still get out & have a laugh. I can still do some things for myself (though I admit I sometimes do more than I should which is a cause of much anxiety for him). Life could be a lot worse.

Thursday 2 September 2010

Strange sounds & innocent pleasure

"What's that?" I wondered. I could hear a strange sound. I had gone along to the fish shop on the Mean Machine, my electric scooter, & was on my way back. I looked up.

The building in front of me was a Gothic monstrosity, the sort of place on a dark night you could imagine bats circling & vampires haunting, lived in by the like of the Munsters or the Addams family. In fact it is a pub. High on top of the roof is a central section, taller than the rest, with a fancy wrought iron frill.

I suddenly noticed the wrought iron was moving. It was covered with birds, all chattering away. I suspect they were starlings from their size & darkness.

I turned the corner on to the prom. A couple of very young unclothed children were playing in the fountains, closely supervised by their mother. I couldn't help wondering if the sight of such pale unfeathered creatures cavorting in this way was what was causing the birds such amusement.

I found myself coming home with a half-smile on my face remembering such innocent pleasure. I was surprised these days the children were allowed to play unclothed like this, but why not. There were few around to see & the only person paying close attention to their activites was the mother.

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Two items of news

Two items caught my ear as I listened to the radio this morning as I was getting up.

The first item was the news of Tony Blair's new book, or at least the promotion of the new book. I gather in it he criticises Gordon Brown. By his assessment Brown could never have made a good prime minister. I can't help wondering why he never expressed these views at the time of his resignation from office & the leadership of the Labour party. I appreciate before it would have been difficult to speak out without weakening the government by showing a divided face, & Brown did make a competent chancellor, but at the time of his resignation inevitably things would have to change & surely it was his duty to leave the country in the hands of someone who might do a could a job rather than one he was convinced didn't stand a chance of doing a good job. Maybe then we wouldn't have had to go through the chaos of the last few years under Brown.

To be honest I've always felt that Brown was unlucky. It was unfortunate that Foot & Mouth escaped into the cattle of this country almost immediately after his accession to power. Equally he can't blamed for the greed of the banks, especially those in the USA, leading to the onset of the recession. In more settled times I suspect he could have done a better job.

Now the election for the new Labour party leader is on. I'm not sure who I expect to win. I like Diane Abbott, a gutsy lady prepared to fight for her constituents & her beliefs, but I suspect she won't win. The rest, to me, a total outsider who doesn't take a close interest in politics, they all look pretty much the same. My bet is on David Milliband, but I'm not convinced he will make a particularly good leader. We'll soon discover the result.

The other bit of news that caught my ear, was the fact hospitals in some parts of this country have started teaching staff English as a foreign language. Apparently if you ask a nurse in one hospital for help because you need "to spend a penny", you are liable to end up being accompanied to the hospital shop, not to the nearest toilet or being brought a bedpan! I'm glad I didn't end up in that hospital!