Friday 31 July 2009

I'm having a quick break. This morning has been spent ironing. Next I have yet to get on with the dinner. I was somewhat surprised when the Fox urged me to make a Cheese Pasta Medley today rather than the Creamy Chicken Cobbler I was proposing. Usually he moans we have the cheese pasta too often. I suppose we haven't had one for three weeks now.

We were miffed to discover when we came back from the Pub yesterday that we'd missed a delivery. We suspect it's a guidebook & map we ordered from Amazon. What got to us was that we hadn't left home for the Pub until 3.30pm & this was delivered, or rather failed to be delivered, at 3.45. We must have just missed him. We've arranged for it to be redelivered on Saturday.

I'm looking forward to exploring the area around Pompei in some detail, finding the places we really want to see. It will be easier with the more detailed map of the area to work out how long a journey & therefore how feasible it will be to go. The previous book was a more general one of the whole of Italy rather than the specific area we're visiting.

Admittedly I half expect after all these preparations, we'll get to Pompei, flop out & hardly go out. We seem just so tired & drained after our efforts sorting out the kitchen. Still if that's what happens, that's what happens. We usually end up getting restless pretty soon so a few ideas for little expeditions out are always useful to have sorted out. We'll just decide what to do when when we're actually there, hopefully happily ensconced in our hotel.

Thursday 30 July 2009

Change for the good

Yesterday we went book shopping. Before we go on our hols, we felt we needed a basic Italian phrasebook & dictionary. It was with some amazement & much appreciation we discovered that at last disability is being noticed in compiling these books.

The Fox's greatest anxiety visiting non-English speaking countries is that he might need help. Although I tend to grasp languages fairly easily, he does not. I am often not able to get inside, or up steps, to do the asking. Often wheelchair access isn't obvious, so the Fox needs to be able to ask & understand the response. A lot of the time, gesture & good will have ended up being the only means of communication in such circumstances. This is part of the reason why our travel has tended to be to either French (which we both speak reasonably well) or English speaking countries. The only real exception was when we went to the Netherlands, but there, fortunately for us, there is so much US & British TV that most people have at least a smattering of English.

This is the first time we've ever found a phrasebook with phrases such as "Is there access for the disabled?", "Is there a wheelchair ramp?" or even "Is there a wheelchair accessible toilet?" It will make life so much easier for him. Even if he can't pronounce the words correctly, he can always just point out the question in the book to the other person. Similarly they will be able to point out the answer.

I'm glad someone has finally realised that the fact you are disabled doesn't mean you don't want the opportunity to travel, & not just to the obvious tourist centres. We enjoy getting off the beaten track a bit & exploring by ourselves, which sometimes means meeting people who do not speak English. People working in village bars & shops often do not.

We prefer staying in smaller quieter places, so this time we're staying in a 26 room hotel in Pompei rather than one of the numerous hotels in Sorrento, Naples or on the Amalfi coast where most British & American tourists stay. Similarly when we went to the Netherlands we stayed in a very small hotel in Gouda rather than a big one in Amsterdam or the Hague, the usual holiday destinations there. The highlight of our first Australian trip was undoubtedly staying in an ecolodge near Blackheath in the Blue Mountains, surrounded by forest & wildlife. We find this way we can get more of the feel of the country we're visiting rather than somewhere anonymously international.

English may be the almost ubiquitous second language, but if nothing else it is only courteous to try to learn a few words such as please & thank you. This time we may even manage more.

Wednesday 29 July 2009

Busy in the kitchen

I've been busy in the kitchen this morning. I'm having an experimental cook today. I've just par-boiled some new potatoes to saute up later. Then I made some aioli (garlic mayonnaise). I'm always a bit nervous doing this in case the egg yolk & oil separate rather than emulsify. All went well first time this time. Then through the aioli I folded some diced fennel bulb, chopped fennel herb & some ouzo. It certainly has an aniseed kick. The fennel herb I got from the front garden The fennel there is quite rampant now, a good 5ft high topped by great umbels of bright yellow flowers. A stem had broken, blown against the dividing wall & tending to fall into our neighbours' garden, so this is the stem that's gone in the aioli.

After that I went for a rummage in the freezer. I needed to locate the fish for today's dinner. I thought while I was at it I might as well move some of the oldest stuff from the bottom up to the top of the freezer. I'm anticipating doing a bit of freezer using up over the next week. It's the one disadvantage of a chest style freezer. You tend to just keep putting on top. On the other hand I can manage to go head first into the chest, resting on the rim, to reach things at the bottom whereas I can't manage to reach down to bottom drawers of an upright freezer.

I returned from the laundry room & the freezer with a huge piece of sea trout. This is a fish we only discovered a few years ago & love it. I cut the fillet in half & returned one piece to the freezer - 1.3kg of filleted fish is a bit much for just the two of us. For those who don't know sea trout has some of the delicacy of trout whilst retaining the richness of salmon. Delicious. That's going to be baked in a foil parcel along with a bit of white wine. I'm looking forward to it already.

Tuesday 28 July 2009

Lose one, win one

It's typical! Yesterday I did some washing. The ground was wet, the sky overcast. As a result I hung the washing up in the laundry room & it stayed dry, eventually turning quite sunny in the afternoon. So today I do some more washing. The ground is wet, the sky overcast. I decide to hang the washing up outside on the line, confident that the day will do as yesterday. Result - by 10.15am I'm rushing outside to get the washing in as the rain comes pouring down. There are times you just can't win.

Still at least yesterday's meal out was a great success. The food was good & the laughter resounded around the room. Fran is right. Friends are very precious, to be treasured. Older members of family are no more, &, as you get older, increasingly contemporaries die too. And anyhow it doesn't follow, even if you do still have family, children even, that you have much in common with them beyond blood. Friends, on the other hand, you choose. It is to friends you turn for support & cheer in bad times, to share celebrations in good times, & in your turn you offer your love & support when they need help. Very precious people indeed.

Monday 27 July 2009

Quiet day

You will not be surprised to hear I was in bed before 9pm last night, trying to catch up on the sleep lost the night before. Thankfully it was more peaceful this time.

Today is that odd day that comes on the last Monday of the month, when I have nothing definite to do, no food to prepare or anything, as we're off out for dinner tonight. We're going back to our local village pub. It proved so successful there a couple of months ago that we're booked in there again. I find that fact very strange because when I first suggested it as a venue last year, the idea was thrown out very rapidly. Having actually eaten there, opinion has clearly changed.

So I shall have a very quiet morning. I'm thinking I'll start a bit of the Italian course we got from the library last week. Then I'll be off to Castle Philipsburg in Germany via a jigsaw.

I suppose I ought to get back to the holiday insurance people & actually pay for it, but I don't feel like the stress involved. The quotes will stand for 30 days. I'm not intending to start the policy until the beginning of September anyhow. As far as I can see anything that stops us going on holiday before then, we have time to recover enough to still go.

It seems a long time since our last holiday, to the French Pyrenees last October. Since then our only stay away was when we escaped for a few days when the kitchen was being installed - not a particularly restful sojourn. We've not even had the odd weekend away. I know it sounds odd but I am convinced that you need more holidays when you are disabled than when you are working. So we're really looking forward to Pompei in September.

Sunday 26 July 2009

Sonic attack

I supposed I should have guessed it might happen when I heard the excited voices of children in the afternoon. I looked in the direction of the sound, through the hedge & over the fences - a huge bouncy castle a few gardens away. Nonetheless, when we sat eating our meal outside the noise level wasn't too bad.

After dinner we had some wine & music, then watched some TV. Just before midnight I decided I just had to go to bed. It was late for me to be up these days - someone would say it ever was! The beat of music was still coming through the windows from outside as the party went on. I had noticed it in the quiet spells while in our lounge, but it was worse in our bedroom. The Fox looked out & reckoned things were quieting down. Most of the people were dispersing, so we assumed all would be quiet by the midnight witching hour.

How wrong can you be. By 2.30am, I concluded that I wasn't sure whether Frank Sinatra had me under his skin but I'd had more than enough of him under my skin. Eventually I got off to sleep.

I have to confess I've always thought there is a certain wisdom in letting neighbours know if you're having a party. Maybe even invite them. At least that way they can prepare themselves for the sonic onslaught, avoid it or join in. I don't want to stop people enjoying themselves, but please show a little consideration & turn the volume down. Some of us are trying to sleep. I found myself positively envying the Fox going through one of his deaf spells (build up of ear wax problems) at a time like this. He could barely hear anything.

Saturday 25 July 2009

Saturday blues

I was feeling quite bright & cheerful this morning. I happily set to boning, stuffing & rolling a leg of lamb for today's dinner. The sun is shining, the sky blue. It's warm for the first time in days. Then I start on the Saturday morning phone calls.

First my Aunt Ivy. Usually she's a ray of sunshine, lapping up life with relish even if she is in her late 80s. Today she's not that. Instead a very weak voice answers the phone. A fortnight ago, when I last spoke to her, she had just started with a urinary infection. It seems it's got worse with time despite the antibiotics she's been on all that time. She's lost half a stone in weight as she doesn't feel up to eating. Her mouth dries out after a very short time of speaking so we didn't spend much time on the phone. It is unlike her to feel sorry for herself, but today she's definitely not her usual cheery self. Oh, & no, it's not swine flu!

I then phone Helen. That was not much cheerier a phone call. MK, her husband & our friend with MND, is in a bad way. We've not been over to see them for a couple of weeks as he's not felt up to it. MK has now reached the stage where he spends most of his day with an oxygen mask on, eyes shut, dosing the day away. He can't cope with watching TV any longer. Helen even had to discourage their daughter from coming to visit as he couldn't cope with even that much disruption. Meanwhile Helen is getting ever tireder, with no sign of a break. She's getting to the stage of dosing on the settee whenever she can in order to cope with his demands for massages, nose wipes, oxygen, itch scratching, feeding, drinking, toileting, etc etc. I get the impression she's resigning herself to the idea that the end is nigh, but, at the same time, she knows this stage could last for months. I just hope her own health doesn't collapse under the toll. She just sounds so exhausted.

All in all today's phone calls have been something of a dampener, as I try to spread some of my own cheer around. It is with some relief I venture out into the garden for 10 minutes of garden tidying & a watch of the birds happily feeding at our bird table. Or go to the bin with the cut down debris to find Mr Blackbird enjoying his splashabout in the lake by the greenhouse. A bit of soul feeding & marvelling at the wonders of nature to restore my own flagging spirits.

Friday 24 July 2009

On the hunt

As predicted Wednesday saw me spitting dust as I sought travel insurance. I started with the company we went with last time. Bearing in mind the only change in our health is that I'm now being treated for a thyroid problem, they proposed to charge me almost the same amount for a two week one trip in Europe policy as the previous year they'd charged for a worldwide annual policy. They weren't prepared to consider an annual policy at all. I was stunned.

I rang a few more companies. I got asked about the Fox's back because I'd had to say he had osteoarthritis in his toes. What was his weight? What that has to do with anything I don't understand.

As for me, I ended up discussing having pneumonia nearly ten years ago. And no, I don't have breathing problems now. I'd never even thought to mention it until I was specifically asked if I'd ever had pneumonia. My condition is reasonably stable. Over time, as I look back, I am aware I've degenerated a bit but it is only when I think back over time I'm aware of the changes. As for depression, I don't expect any insurance is going to cover me if I deliberately endeavour to kill myself. What's more the chances of that happening are less when I'm enjoying myself on holiday than when I'm at home, feeling frustrated by the things I can no longer do.

Eventually I found one company that will cover us both for annual in Europe but not Spain or Cyprus for less than £100. They will not cover pre-existing conditions without a further premium of £280. But they will accept that if I end up with broken bones after a bus runs into me, it will be the result of the collision & not the osteoporosis. I can't for the life of me see what's so much worse in Spain or Cyprus, but it doesn't matter in that we're not intending to visit Spain or Cyprus in the next 12 months.

By the time I found this company I was feeling so frayed, I had to abandon the hunt. I left it yesterday, partially to give myself chance to calm down, partially because I was distracted by other things such as getting to the Farmers' Market. (We bought a fabulous piece of sea trout there. Mmm mmm!) I'm going to have another look today, but I suspect this is the company we'll be going with, without the extra premium for pre-existing conditions.

But why, oh why. do they have to make life so difficult? It's not as though we've ever had to make a claim, or that either of us is more likely to have an accident than anyone else. As far as I can see our only difference from "healthy" people is that we've been diagnosed with problems & are open it, rather than left things undiagnosed & avoided routine scans & health checks.

Wednesday 22 July 2009

All booked

I see the Fox has already written on this subject, but I just have to say my bit. The holiday is booked! We were at the travel agents over an hour as they measured my wheelchair & checked door widths at the hotel in Pompei.

We didn't book the car hire there. They were going to charge over £750 for the fortnight. You could virtually buy an old banger for that & sell it at the end of the stay. The Fox has now sorted the car hire out on-line for considerably less.

My job is to sort out the holiday insurance. I always hate this job. By the time I've got a few quotes & gone through my medical history each time, I feel like a physical wreck. I'm also usually fuming either at the sheer range of price, less than £100 to over £600, or the humiliation of being told I've got too many problems (Sorry I can't do anything about that! Wish I could), or the terms as people tell me that because I have osteoporosis they won't cover me for broken bones if the plane crashes or a bus drives into me on holiday!

Apart from that it's just a case of learning a few words of Italian. I'm usually good at that. I've already done that much just reading the guide book! I'd like to read a more detailed book on the area we're going to & get a map so we stand a chance of not getting lost & locating the hotel. There will, of course, be the need to get some euros & have my hair tidied up but that's about it.

Now I can sit back & look forward to the trip. I've never been to Italy before. I've read about it often in my schooldays, doing Latin & History (which included the Renaissance & Italian wars then) A Levels. I just hope I'll be able to see some of the ruins at Pompeii, having read Pliny's graphic description of the fateful eruption of Vesuvius.

Above all, I'm relieved to think WE'RE ON OUR WAY!


Tuesday 21 July 2009

Coincidence

It was great to see my cousin & her husband yesterday. It's the first time we've met up in these northern parts. It's usually us who make the trip down to Stoke to see the family. We met at the Pub. Gaz, the owner/manager, couldn't get over the fact that my cousin & her husband live on the same road as his Nan used to live & his mother was born. How's that for coincidence?

Monday 20 July 2009

Continuing panic

Swine flu panic seems to be continuing. I was astounded to discover yesterday that the wine can no longer be distributed at communion services due to the flu. So far I've not heard of a single person in our area who has had this flu. Flu hits most years, killing some, and yet I've never heard of this happening before. I have sometimes wondered if it is wise to partake when so many of the congregation is snuffling & coughing in winter, but even that isn't the situation in this area so far. And anyhow, surely alcohol acts as a disinfectant & so would kill off any germs. I could understand it more if we lived in an area where there had been any outbreak but that isn't the case. The world's just going mad!

This feeling was increased when I got home & put the radio on to hear the mixed messages about what pregnant women should be doing in view of swine flu. To the extent that it is being suggested women should avoid getting pregnant until the epidemic has passed. Ludicrous!

Despite all these dire messages, we're going ahead with the idea of an Italian holiday. We visited the travel agent on Saturday to make preliminary enquiries. They've already been back to us three times, checking our requirements & getting some prices. It's beginning to look as though, come September, we will be off to Pompei for a couple of weeks, flu or no flu.

Saturday 18 July 2009

Preparations

At the Pub, yesterday, Mr P, the music teacher, arrives, distinctly frayed looking. He'd arrived in a strange car.

On inquiry we were told "The car radiator burst a leak. I've just had to charge down to Oldham to get a new one. It will be fitted tomorrow."

He's off to Iona next week & had thought he'd have to hire a car for the whole of the time while he's away. He'd been particularly annoyed about this because the car would have had to sit on Mull, unused
until they returned 10 days later, as cars can't be taken over to Iona. He's relieved that he's managed to organise the repair of his own car instead & only needed to hire a car for this weekend.

He then adds, "I'm supposed to be at the wedding rehearsal now." His daughter is getting married today, Saturday. We gingerly ask how preparations are going. He's doing a barbecue in his garden for the reception.

"We've still got to get the pictures back on the wall." (They redecorated last weekend to smarten the house up ready for the visitors in case it should be too wet for the guests to be outside.) "I've yet to get the meat from the butcher's. I've just collected the hire glasses from Sainsbury's. The booze has arrived."

"When is the wedding?"

"No idea. Afternoon I think."

Who's paying for the wedding? "Not me," he replies. "I paid last time."

His daughter's first marriage a couple of years ago cost him several thousands. She was divorced within the year.

"I'm only paying for the food this time. Still there won't be much change out of a grand." He's had to buy a new BBQ to cater for so many people & a gazebo to provide some shelter in case of rain. He's not bothering to buy a new suit. The one he bought last time will do he reckons. He's due to retire in a couple of years time & doesn't anticipate much need for a suit then.

How's the speech coming along. "Don't ask. I said everything I had to say last time! As for giving her away, I've done that already!"

And is this a small wedding this time? Oh no, they've got the organist from some cathedral playing, various choirs coming to sing a special anthem, the full church wedding, the lot.

We're all just hoping this marriage will last longer. Mr P above all is hoping that. He couldn't face a third wedding again so soon.

At least the rain is holding off today. There's even some blue in the sky. I'm sure once it gets going Mr P will get into the mood of the event. He & his wife will certainly be ready for their escape to Iona.

Friday 17 July 2009

Panic stations

As I sat watching the news last night on the TV, I couldn't help wondering if the reporting wasn't designed to set the population into a panic. Over the weekend we're hoping to book our holiday to Italy. We've decided on a destination - at last, I hear you say. We're hoping to go in September/October time. Now I'm beginning to wonder if we should book. Do we really want to be stuck on a plane, sharing re-circled air, with a load of people contaminated with swine flu germs? For that matter it sounds as though we will be too ill, virtually on death's doorstep, ourselves to be going anywhere.

Today I'm blowing my nose for England. Is this the dreaded flu? Well, no, it isn't. I've just be grating an onion for some burgers we're having for dinner this evening. But after yesterday's news I feel I ought to be phoning up the flu line just to check.

I couldn't help agreeing with the children's writers who refuse to be vetted before they go into schools. They're absolutely right. They are not going to be in a position to build up a relationship with any single child to subsequently abuse them. But now parents are in such a panic due to the publicity given to some cases of abuse that everyone is presumed to be a paedophile unless proved to be otherwise. Yet I suspect the actual numbers of abuse have not increased. And certainly most abuse is not done by strangers but by family & friends.

I sometimes think when there is no real news, the news services feel they have to set up these panics until something really newsworthy to report happens. So we have phases of child abuse, knife stabbing, swine flu, gang warfare etc. As far as swine flu goes, all we, the general public, need to know is that the authorities have thought about provision for extra vaccines & other medicines, extra staff cover in the event of a large amount of illness, then let us get on with life as normal & hope the worst doesn't happen. It's not as though there's anything we can do to change the situation. Most people of my generation will still remember the public info ads with the refrain "Coughs & sneezes spread diseases." It's to state the obvious to tell you to use paper tissues & throw them away, to avoid going out unnecessarily if you have symptoms (though usually if you have flu you're lucky to even feel up to getting out of bed let alone going out).

So why try to panic us all?



Thursday 16 July 2009

Australian memories

















3 sisters at Katoomba Boardwalk at Katoomba

Memories of our first trip to Australia were evoked yesterday by the news of the backpacker who was found in the Blue Mountains. This area was one of the highlights of our stay. We spent a week or so at Blackheath, not far from Katoomba. We can believe it's very easy to lose your way in that terrain. The trees tower around there. Much of the vast forest land is unexplored to this day. Only recently a few prehistoric trees were found still growing here. Even if you find a high point to get a panoramic view & can see the direction you want to go in, without a compass you will get probably lost as soon as you are ground level again. Keeping to the laid out paths is the only hope. What is more, the area seems to abound with poisonous things, snakes & spiders. Not a terrain to get lost in. He did well to survive.

Tuesday 14 July 2009

Stunned

I was stunned by the sheer beauty. The diamonds sparkled in the midst of the fresh delicate green.

Yesterday evening, as we sat down to dinner, the heavens opened & the rain came thundering down. It didn't last long but certainly was wet. Later on, between programmes on the TV, the Fox went off to make us some tea. I looked out of the window & saw this stunning vision of loveliness. The delicate frondery of the fennel was covered in chains of water droplets. The late evening light was catching on them, making them twinkle as the fennel gently moved in a very soft breeze. I was bewitched.

Monday 13 July 2009

Holiday plans

I'm nearly at the end of my book on Italy. Soon it will be time to settle on a destination & find a hotel/cottage.

I had been quite fired by the idea of Ferrara & the Po delta. We even found a nice looking hotel on the Net. Then we checked the distance to the nearest airport & discovered it's a long drive unless you go from London. We're not prepared to do that.

Our brief experience on the way to & from Canada last year decided us on that. Besides the price of getting to London, the amount of stress & energy required just make it unfeasible. No, we want to fly from the north of England & have an hour/hour an a half journey maximum in Italy. This holiday is for unwinding. We're only thinking of 2 weeks at the most, so there's no point in exhausting ourselves just getting there.

So now, I'm having a rethink. I'm still attracted to the Lakes & the Dolomites. But maybe we should settle for Rome & see the Tivoli gardens. Or around Naples to see Pompei - I still remember studying Pliny's graphic account of the volcanic eruption which caused such destruction, when I was doing Latin at school - & the Amalfi coast. Or maybe we should go to Sicily & see the numerous spectacular Greek ruins there.

Decisions. Decisions.

Then, last night, the Fox sees Sir Trevor MacDonald in Montserrat & wonders whether we should just wait & go for Christmas in the Caribbean instead!!

We'll see...


Saturday 11 July 2009

Changing thoughts

My thoughts about what to write today have changed as the morning has gone on.

When I first got up, I thought I'd write about the deaths of soldiers of in Afghanistan. What gets to me is the surprise when men get killed. The sooner that politicians & others realise that war means the loss of lives that are precious, unique & irreplaceable the better. The numbers being lost are considerably fewer than in, say, the trenches of the First World War where more men were lost in one day than in the 8 years of the Afghan war. I accept sometimes war is unavoidable but I really do think our leaders should think of the consequences & do their best to avoid it if possible, resorting to arms only as a last resort. I'm sorry for those who have lost their life & for their families who grieve for them. I respect those who continue to fight knowing they may be killed or severely injured. But I cannot say I'm surprised to hear that there are casualties. That's what war means & that's why we should think carefully before getting involved in war.

That thought haunted me most of yesterday. There seemed to be particular horror that some of the casualties were still teenagers, only 18. But if you're in the army, & there's a war on, it happens.

However, these dark thoughts have been lightened by a series of phone calls this morning. First my Aunt Ivy. Still going strong well into her 80s. She's had a bit of a health set back this last fortnight but is now on the mend. Still interested in life & keen for her next holiday. Always eager to catch up on the latest family news.

Then I spoke to MK. It was Helen's birthday last week & I'm pleased to say it sounds as though she had a good day, with plenty of children & grandchildren around to see her. MK sounds a bit better than he was on Tuesday when we visited this week so hopefully it will last until we get to see him in the coming week.

Finally I spoke to my cousin Trudy. She & her family are coming up next weekend for a break. They're staying at the Centreparc near Penrith. We've arranged to meet up on the Monday. They're going to stop at the Pub on their way home & meet some of the faces we regularly talk about on our blogs. I'm really quite excited about the prospect of seeing them again. I'll have to get on with sending them directions as to how to find it as they've never been around here before.

Now I find my smile is beaming once more in anticipation. The sun is shining outside. The world looks good.

Thursday 9 July 2009

The bog

I'm expecting Lin to come soon. She's not chosen the best of days to come weatherwise. We've had plenty of rain the last few days. She'll certainly realise how waterlogged we get. She was hoping to have a good look around the whole garden, but I suspect she won't get to the far end. Too wet. Fortunately you can see the bog garden from the house & there's only the crazy paving of the patio area for her to cross.

At the moment we're contemplating a mixture of tall hydrangeas, ligularias, some dogwood for a bit of winter colour & some globeflowers for a bit of bright colour in the foreground.

We've been going around with eyes peeled looking for bog plants in other people's gardens. When we popped over to see MK & Helen on Tuesday, we saw a big patch of ligularias. It was very impressive with its sculptural leaves & tall yellow & chocolate spikes.

Still we'll see what Lin suggests. I'm looking forward to it.

Wednesday 8 July 2009

Being alone/ loneliness

I've just been listening to "Woman's Hour" on Radio 4 as I did the ironing. One of the topics covered was the idea of loneliness. I felt they missed the point to some extent.

I confess I find loneliness a rather frightening sensation. Their solution seemed to be to deliberately go out to some social situation to meet people & talk. And yet, in my experience, some of the times when I've felt loneliest is in a crowd. It's that coffee party where no one talks to you, that party you don't feel a part of. It's not the same as being alone.

I really appreciate times of being alone. I sometimes think that part of the success of our marriage is that we both allow each other a bit of the day to be alone. We both need that time. For me, being alone means I can be utterly selfish, doing what I want, wrapped up within my own thoughts, not needing to compromise in any way to fit in with other people. It's a source of healing & of strength that enables me to cope with the demands of the day whatever they may be.

Loneliness is quite different. Loneliness is totally negative. It's that sense of isolation, of being a leper, unlovable, undesirable, of somehow being a lesser being. I'm glad to say I don't often get lonely, or for very long spells, but I have every sympathy for those who do.


Tuesday 7 July 2009

Lin

I've decided to recruit expert advice on our garden. Lin, PD's wife, is coming around on Thursday. She's a real gardening enthusiast. Forever at garden centres & shows. She's a member of the RHS. She's helped our local council to design & help produce gardens for the RHS show at Tatton. Both times she did, they won an award. So, hopefully with her advice, the bog garden will be fabulous. (She's also a member of the RSPB so fully understands the desirability of a wildlife friendly garden too.)

I'm quite looking forward to it. I've never spent time with Lin on her own for any length of time. Hopefully this will also be a step forward in the blossoming of a friendship too.

We've known PD since we first started going to the Pub in 2001. (The village pub was closed for refurbishment at the time, & we just had to go somewhere to celebrate my release from hospital after my cancer op.) For the first few years we began to think this Lin was a mythical creature. Then one year, PD proudly showed us some photos of a holiday in Cornwall he'd just been on. There, in the midst of the Eden Project, we were pointed out the rare species known as a "Lin". Admittedly part of the reason why we'd never met her was the fact she was still working - she's still in her 50s - as a primary school teacher. Now, after having to have both her hips replaced, she's retired, which is why she's appeared more in our life. However, she's not a great pub-goer, preferring to spend her time in the garden or with family or friends. She's joined us for a couple of meals out, which is how we started to get to know her. Lin & PD have invited us to a couple of meals at their house. But it's always been with other people, & certainly always with PD there. It's sometimes easier to get to know a person on their own than with a friend or partner.

So I'm looking forward to Thursday & getting to know Lin better.

Monday 6 July 2009

Never satisfied

Where does it all the rain come from? Throughout the weekend we've had a stream of very heavy downpours. Lakes have once more appeared in the garden. Again it is impossible to get to the greenhouse without wellies. Such a contrast with the blazing heat of this time last week.

We're never very satisfied in this country - too hot, too wet, too grey, too muggy, too windy - and yet there is much to be said for the climate here. We never get the extremes of some countries. I on the whole appreciate the variety. It's never boring. Perhaps that's why the British are so obsessed with talking about the weather.

I remember one friend, back from a long holiday in South Australia. "It was so boring. Unrelenting sunshine. Never any different. You knew before you got up, it was going to be another day sitting on the beach, in swimwear, with a picnic or a barbie" she moaned. Well, you can't say that about British weather!

It's certainly been great to get back to more normal eating - roast pork, beef pie, turkey pizza. To get down to peeling spuds again. Though this weekend it would have been nice to eat outside. It's been warm enough. But whenever we've been getting ready for dinner, it's been raining or looked about to rain.

Sunday 5 July 2009

Giants

The garden is standing tall. In the front herb garden, the fennel has reached 5ft. The flower heads are opening into brilliant yellow umbrels. They soar far above the mauves & purples of the lavender.

In the back it's time for creamy candelabra. These huge spikes of creamy flowers are the yuccas. We have three yuccas altogether so the number of candlelabra is impressive. The two at the front are easy to see. The one at the back, the mother of the other two I suspect, can just be seen towering over the evergreen bushes that characterise the central rockery area of our garden.

We spent part of yesterday looking at bog plants on the Net. We fancy some giants at the back of the bed, to hide the rather ugly sheds next door. Gunnera is undoubtedly big enough. A bold statement plant. It seems fashionable at the moment but we're both agreed that we find it rather ugly, too much like giant rhubarb, not our favourite food. But Goat's Beard, Joe Pye Weed or Ligularia is much more to our taste. We used to have a fabulous blue hydrangea at the far end of the garden. That must have grown to 6ft. It was certainly taller than me. If we could find that variety we would be tempted. We're still thinking & deciding.

After a brief break, our sudden bout of decisiveness with the kitchen selections has once more evaporated. We're back to taking our time.

Saturday 4 July 2009

Relief

THE RAIN FINALLY CAME.

We decided yesterday afternoon it was worth getting some food to cook for a change. It has dawned upon me I haven't had any meat since last Saturday (venison). Just fish all week. The Fox has done a bit better as he had some meatballs at the restaurant on Monday. So we've bought a nice piece of belly pork to slow roast for today.

It is, therefore, with relief that I discover although it's bright & sunny today, there's a cool breeze too. The oppressive heat of late is broken. We can enjoy our piping hot mugs of tea once more. And we can look forward to a good nosh up as well.

I've just been talking to MK on the phone. Even he's breathing much better now. He managed the whole conversation without having to resort to oxygen. Hopefully we'll get round to see him & Helen one day in the coming week.

Life can get back to normal again. We can all breathe again. At least for a few days.

Friday 3 July 2009

Early trip

I set off early this morning, down to the fishmongers in the Mean Machine. It's not yet 9am. I'm clearly not the only early one today. One neighbour is just back from his shopping. Another is trimming his hedge. Both trying to get the chores done before it gets too hot.

The forecast is for rain & subsequent coolness. It's overcast, but no worse than it's often been of late. So early in the morning it's still fresh but how long that will last for I'm not sure.

As usual I toodle along the prom. The tide has just turned & is on its way out. The oystercatchers & gulls are amassing, ready for food. I get some shrimps - picked for soup, potted for snack, anchovies for nibbles with an aperitif or a glass of wine in the evening. I come back along the road a bit in order to stop at Tescos for some bread to accompany today's soup. Then I head back to the prom. By now the oystercatchers are busy rootling around in the wet sand & shallow waters. As I turn back off the prom to get home my eye is caught by a flash of bright scarlet. What can this be? A red admiral (butterfly) exploring the shoreline.

A pleasant trip. It was even rather nice to feel a bit on the cool side for once. I'm already starting to break out in a sweat now the morning's progressed.

Thursday 2 July 2009

An omnivore & proud of it

I'm sitting down to recover. I've just been preparing dinner. I was late up so the heat of the day had already begun. Today's meal is going to be well seasoned from the drips of sweat rolling down my face.

Yesterday we didn't go to see MK in the end. Helen rang to say the heat was too much for him. He was on permanent oxygen & she was fearing any minute she might be ringing the ambulance to come & take him back into hospital, just unable to breathe.

So we didn't get to the carvery for our meal either. Instead we had a bean & tuna salad. As a result today, another sizzling day, we fancy something other than salad. I've just made some crab soup with plenty of veg in it to be warmed up this evening. We'll then have a jacket potato stuffed probably
with prawns in a rose Marie sauce. Nothing else.

Earlier in the week we watched "World's Best Diet" on ITV. Various diets were tried, Mediterranean ie Italian, Japanese, Indian, British & West coast American. The British was little more than learning about portion control & cutting out snacks. I sympathised with the person put on a Japanese diet. I'm not sure I could cope with that much raw fish. Cooked no difficulty, but raw no. Equally much as I love a good curry, I wouldn't want one every day. The American one was low carb with the result that person ended up permanently hungry, as well as being expected to do an enormous amount of exercise. Not for me. I was quite relieved the experts reckon that diet wasn't even healthy. I was not surprised to discover the Med diet was regarded as the best. Just the sight of that fresh fish, veg & ripe fruit set my gastric juices running.

But ultimately I concluded I'm an omnivore. I like a bit of all cuisines. I enjoy the variety. I can see the Med diet does tend to mean smaller portions of meat, plenty of veg & salads, & olive oil. But I also have to admit, come the cold of winter I feel the need for more stodge to help me keep warm. Good quality salad ingredients are appealing but they're hard to find in this country, & most of the time they are not satisfying in the cold of the British climate. Whenever we go on holiday in the Med area, especially if we're self-catering, we do eat far more salads. We find we want something lighter to eat in the heat. And sure enough, right now, in this country a salad is just the thing. I find my appetite is reducing. I want something lighter to eat & I certainly don't want to spend much time cooking in an already hot kitchen.

The other thing I couldn't help noticing is that in the healthier diets, the food tended to be eaten as a family. Time was taken both preparing & eating it. Even the utensils used to eat with - fingers (Indian), chopsticks (Japanese) - are conducive to slow eating. When I eat slowly, I do tend to eat less. I can't help wondering if the real reason why some of these cuisines are healthier doesn't come down to the fact that less is eaten, yet people remain satisfied.

Meanwhile I shall continue to be an omnivore, eating plenty of fish & veg, as we do now. I shall continue to try foods from all the world & relish the sheer variety of tastes & textures. Bon appetit to all.


Wednesday 1 July 2009

Progress

I'd just booted up & got here to start on my blog when Al, the gardener arrived. I'm surprised to see him. Last night we had a couple of terrific thunderstorms. There is once again a lake to the greenhouse. The bog garden is once more under water & very squelchy. But at least it means the new fencing can go into place. The Fox is out there, in his wellies, essential as it's necessary to stand in the bog garden to put the panels in place.

I'm now a step nearer to re-planting the bog garden - hopefully my big gardening project for the year. It just goes to show, though, that even in this hot, dry summer, we still have excess water problems in this garden. I definitely think we need plants that are happy to spend most of their time with their feet in water, maybe with just a few days in moist soil.

I'm also surprised to say it's stickier than ever today despite the nocturnal storms. I do hope MK, our friend with Motor Neurone Disease, is coping. We'll find out this afternoon when we go to see him & his wife.

For that matter I'm also anxious about our friend with ME whose body temperature gauge has gone berserk since this illness beset him.

As for myself I did the ironing first thing. I'm leaving the cooking. We'll stop at a carvery on the way home for a meal. The thought of working at a hot cooker in this heat is a bit much for me.

I